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Your well-being VS that of others

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Old July 11th, 2013 (6:32 AM).
Blade_of_darkness Blade_of_darkness is offline
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    A bit of a sentimental topic here. When it comes to the safety, health, & overall well-being of yourself & those that you hold dear, which do you prioritize first, your own, or your friends & family?

    Me personally? I prioritize the well-being of my closest friends & family over my own - my well-being is nowhere near as valuable as the well-being of some of my closest friends & family.
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    Old July 11th, 2013 (7:25 AM).
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    I don't prioritize my own safety very well, and would prefer that I get hurt, rather than someone I know.
    I'm not afraid of pain, so that's helpful, as well.
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    Old July 11th, 2013 (1:51 PM).
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      If the person is not capable of taking care of themselves, then I will put them before me. My daughter, my mom, and my clients fit into that category. In every other case I'll put my own well-being first, to be honest. I'll help as much as I can, but if it cuts into my own health or safety then I just can't do that. I have too much to live for to let things get me down or get me hurt.
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      Old July 11th, 2013 (6:23 PM).
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        It really depends on the scenario.
        If I'm at work it's everyone else.
        If it's a zombie apocalypse or other matter of survival, the whole group looks out for the group and nobody else. We've been through it our plan is very much thought through.
        Although separated I won't hesitate to save my own ass in exchange for a strangers.
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        Old July 11th, 2013 (7:40 PM).
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        Ideally I'd say family/friends first. I'd rather see them happy and healthy over me. When push comes to shove, though, I would probably freak out and then move to protect myself over all else. Because I'm a coward. :(

        So I'd say I'm more the selfish type deep down.
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        Old July 12th, 2013 (12:18 AM).
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          my daughter and those with severe "special needs" would get prioritized over me any day as they really can not look after themselves.

          yeah that is all
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          Old July 12th, 2013 (5:09 AM).
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            My own safety comes first before anyone else. How am I supposed to defend or protect anyone if I can't even save myself?
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            Old July 12th, 2013 (8:13 AM).
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            I'd like to have a self-sacrificing ethos. Presently, though I think I'd preserve myself.
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            Old July 12th, 2013 (10:13 AM).
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            I tend to think of my own well being more than others when I actually think about it but when push comes to shove I tend to put the well being of my close friends and family above my own.

            This is a trait that has led me to become the resident "advice guy" of my social circle (come on, they all have one) and honestly I love being the one that is always helps people out and listens to their problems. I can think of very little in life that gives me the kind of pleasure than helping out those I care about when they need it.
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            Old July 12th, 2013 (11:10 AM).
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            I always look out for myself and want the best for me, but sometimes that involves putting friends and family first if that makes sense. My happiness comes from knowing my friends and family are happy in the end I guess I put them first n_n.


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            Old July 12th, 2013 (12:54 PM).
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            I care about others, but not as much as I care for myself honestly. I wouldn't die in a fire so some random guy could live. I'd have to know them first.

            For a friend I care about their well being, but strangers not as much.
            let's meet again
            in the next life
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            Old July 12th, 2013 (2:08 PM). Edited July 13th, 2013 by EGKangaroo.
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              I think it depends. I have a tendency to sympathise with those who're weaker than I. If I face a dilemma where I could give either myself or others priotity, I try to rationalise it if I can miss a little something for another person. I mean, just doing something kind, just giving a little something of your time or your kindness or taking the brunt of something for somebody else could mean the world to another person, who might not be able to handle things as well. And after all, there's a bit of a rewarding feeling to prioritising others over yourself, like your brains compensates for being selfless and not giving a crud about material comforts by making you all warm and fuzzy inside.
              So I guess I like to put others above my own for the warm and fuzz. :3

              On the flipside, if we're talking about more serious sacrifices, hell, like giving my life, I probably wouldn't wager it. I mean, I still want to live, and be at least reasonably well off so that I can do the things I want in my life. A little bit of egotism cannot hurt, and sometimes, it's necessary if you want to act as a peacemaker between two people in a conflict. If I have to make physical sacrifices, take a bit of pain, or serious psychological damage that goes far beyond the "Yay, I feel all warm and fuzzy for helping someone" then I will only do that for a very, very good friend.
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              Old July 12th, 2013 (5:12 PM).
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              I care about my family and friends, but in dangerous situations, you can't help but be a little selfish. Let's say we were in a sinking boat surrounded by killer sharks. There's a rescue ship nearby, but only one can swim to the ship and survive. Honestly, if that situation was real, I would've cared only for my safety and forget about the others. Don't get me wrong here. I love my family. But I just don't want to risk my life.

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              Old July 12th, 2013 (6:30 PM).
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              Myself first, then family & pets, & then other people.

              The way I see it: how am I supposed to help others if I can't help myself (as in health or being trapped in a collapsed building/structure) out of a dangerous life or death situation.
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              Old July 13th, 2013 (7:56 PM).
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              I've always been one to care about everyone else before myself, even at the worst point in my life. I wanted everyone else to be happy and I would do anything for them, even though I myself was miserable at that time. Don't know how I managed that. But yeah. I'm trying to get better about caring for myself more, but idk...hard to change something that's really always been ingrained in me, ya know? Haha.

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              Old July 13th, 2013 (8:14 PM).
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              if i cared well about myself i'll be able to also care about my family and loved ones...but i would risk my life for them of course...i was 9 years old when i stood in front of a car to protect my fact my loved ones!.. life won't be the same without em won't worth it tbh!

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              Old July 14th, 2013 (10:37 AM).
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              Others before myself. No questions asked.
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              Old July 14th, 2013 (5:11 PM).
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              Originally Posted by Sydian View Post
              I've always been one to care about everyone else before myself, even at the worst point in my life. I wanted everyone else to be happy and I would do anything for them, even though I myself was miserable at that time. Don't know how I managed that. But yeah. I'm trying to get better about caring for myself more, but idk...hard to change something that's really always been ingrained in me, ya know? Haha.
              This is very similar to me. I used to think I was quite a selfish person but when I look at my actions somewhat more objectively, I have a tendency to put others before myself. I'll make myself bottom priority a lot of the time, if someone wants something that I want, I'll tend to just let them have it (/first) and if someone has to choose between me and something else I'll generally make them choose the something else, just because I don't like feeling like I'm making myself the most important thing. I think it's one of my better qualities, but sometimes nice guys finish last which kinda sucks. Unfortunately you can never rely on the people you've been kind to to be similarly kind to you!

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              Old July 19th, 2013 (9:45 AM).
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              It depends on the situation. Sometimes, it's better to look out for others; however, in some circumstances it is not selfish to prioritize oneself.

              I prioritized my ex's health and wellbeing over my own and it nearly got me killed lol When I was trying to help his psychological and mental state i.e. arranging therapist meetings, trying to get him a job, etc. he grew lazy and didn't have any motivation to help himself, too. Everything I did was never good enough and only enraged him further to the point of physical violence and police intervention.

              In that scenario, I should've looked out for myself, especially after noticing that my ex's behaviour was abnormal and he was refusing to support himself or have initiative to improve his own situation.

              However, as seen above, way too often my priorities are more for someone else than for myself, which is why in the dating game now I'm not going to focus on one person / put all my eggs in one basket. My happiness is important, too, and I refuse to again be taken advantage of or treated like smut because someone else is unhappy with themselves.
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              Old July 20th, 2013 (7:51 PM).
              Patchisou Yutohru Patchisou Yutohru is offline
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              Right now, I only have myself to look after and care for, so I'm more concerned about my own than anyone else's. Though I've been someone who's a bit of a people pleaser all of my life and I don't like that "I bet I disappointed him/her" feeling I get when I think I've disappointed someone, if I was put in a situation when it had to save myself or save someone else, I would more than most likely save myself and just live with the guilt of not saving the other person than to save the other person. I'm certain my priorities would change if I had my own family, though.
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              Old July 21st, 2013 (2:12 AM).
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                I am typically very congenial when it comes to the well-being of others, though admittedly I really haven't had a lot of people to look out for in my life. I was home-schooled for four grades worth of my life, and I was a loner throughout a lot of my middle school career, up until maybe the eighth grade. At that point, if I had friends, they were close ones and we'd always look out for each other so I had no reason to really look out for myself.

                Exceeept, however, in my home environment, because at that time my mother started her new job. Up until recently, that wasn't a huge problem, but then some other family issues came about and I began living at home with no other family there for long periods of time. Mind you, this started late last year/early this year, so I'm fresh off the presses to this kind of semi-emotionally destructive environment. Anyway, getting off track: I'm basically saying that right now and the past couple of years I've been forced to think about myself and only myself unless a dire circumstance arises that critically urges my attention (involving another, of course).
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                Old July 21st, 2013 (5:00 AM).
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                DEFINITELY needs to stop now
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                  I used to always prioritise everyone else over me; close friends, family, even people I'd only met once.

                  Buit as time's gone on I've become a total prick, therefore now I actually should prioritise everyone else over me because I'm not a good person anymore. It's a weird Catch 22.
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                  Old July 21st, 2013 (12:03 PM).
                  Shiny Celebi Shiny Celebi is offline
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                  I honestly tend to put others before myself and do what they want, cause I feel the need to please people so they will not dislike me. I often don't stand up for myself and am not assertive or ask for something I want when I want something. I figured out though that this is not always a good way to live and tends to give people the idea that they can walk all over you at your expense. Now, I would like to look out for myself more, because I feel like I need to, but it is hard for me to do so.
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                  Old July 22nd, 2013 (2:45 AM).
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                  I usually prioritize my family and friend's well being more than being in myself.
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                  Old July 22nd, 2013 (9:31 AM).
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                    As cold as it may sound I usually keep it pretty balanced.
                    If you were really close to me then I would most likely prioritize you, but unfortunately I'm a rather lone person.
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