Why do (should) children obey their parents?

What is the basis of this? Aren't children individuals making their way in the world? Is it right for children to be imposed upon by their parents? And if you believe children should obey their parents, what gives the parents that authority? Why not another institution? What do you think should be in a perfect world?

By children I'm assuming you mean, like 10 years old or younger or something around there.

Children need to listen to somebody who has their interests at heart. That's usually their parents, but it could be anyone who's taken charge of them like an extended family member, a teacher, a doctor, whatever. Children aren't necessarily able to know what's good for them or be able to do the things they need because of lack or experience, knowledge, means, etc.

For the most part the things parents tell their kids are things like "eat your dinner" and "don't hit your brother" and stuff that any adult could tell them so I don't really see why someone other than a parent couldn't take on that role. It would be kind of nice to know that one or two people didn't have absolute control of their kids just in case they're skewed in their approach to child raising. (Like those folks who don't believe in using modern medicine.) You know, that "It takes a village to raise a child" kind of thing.

If you are under 21, you are too stupid to realize how stupid you are. When you are 31, you will realize how stupid you are at 21. When you are 41, you will realize how stupid you were at 31.

You're parents are smarter than you, unless they are criminals or drug addicts. If you are 18 and think life would be better without them, leave. Your life is, in most circumstances, better because of your family. That is why you stay.

This post reads harsh and angry, but I'm not trying to be hurtful. It's just a phase most teenagers go through - to believe they are smarter than your parents, you will mellow out in a few years.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

-Ephesians 6:1

Children don't come out of the womb all-knowing and perfectly capable of handling themselves. The purpose of parenting is to fill the child with knowledge and give them discipline to hold their emotions in check and promote good behavior. Without children obeying their parents (to some extent, at least) the world would be a wreck. Children can't take care of themselves—come on.

Children need direction. if you just let your child do whatever the hell it wants to do. you have failed at being a parent. i dislike this thread. its going nowhere.

SnowpointQuincy said:

You're parents are smarter than you, unless they are criminals [...]

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How do you suppose intelligence correlates to criminality?

BourbonWhiskey said:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

-Ephesians 6:1

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Could you elaborate? I don't understand what is meant by 'parents in the Lord'.
Perhaps that parents of Christian values will raise moral children? If so, adequate though those morals possibly are, I think it could be argued that moral direction is something that should come later in one's life. This would be in the same way that young children aren't sexually or politically educated, and mean instead that the parent(s) should do their best to explain the world without cultural bias (I am for the purpose of this thread, like Scarf, assuming that 'children' means prepubescents.)

I hear a lot about direction and guidance and parenting, but not much about parents. I mean to ask "why parents"?

Children need to listen to somebody who has their interests at heart. That's usually their parents, but it could be anyone who's taken charge of them like an extended family member, a teacher, a doctor, whatever. Children aren't necessarily able to know what's good for them or be able to do the things they need because of lack or experience, knowledge, means, etc.

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Now this is the closest I've seen to exploring this theme, and let's explore it further.

SnowpointQuincy said:

If you are under 21, you are too stupid to realize how stupid you are. When you are 31, you will realize how stupid you are at 21. When you are 41, you will realize how stupid you were at 31.

You're parents are smarter than you, unless they are criminals or drug addicts. If you are 18 and think life would be better without them, leave. Your life is, in most circumstances, better because of your family. That is why you stay.

This post reads harsh and angry, but I'm not trying to be hurtful. It's just a phase most teenagers go through - to believe they are smarter than your parents, you will mellow out in a few years.

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As somebody who is about to turn 19 and is still living with my mom, and soon to be step dad (when I'm not in a college townhouse), this rings absolutely and completely true. I still don't have the life skills involved in taking my own ass to the hospital, because the parking lot itself scares me, nonetheless finding the right doors to walk into on top of that, and I have to go to the hospital a lot.

All those college papers I had to fill out? It would have been letters on paper if my parents hadn't been there to explain some of it to me, much more so pay for it all.

My mom recently retired from the army, and I always traveled with her. I've seen the world, it's scary. I'll happily stay here in my room for a while.

Parents are needed more than anyone else because they have a physical, biological connection with that child. Children who are orphaned can suffer mental and emotional trauma and stress from being separated from their parents and can experience loneliness and feelings of loss and worthlessness.

Childrens/kids doesn't come into the world knowing everything, the parents are there to guide them, tell them from right and wrong. Without guidance, they would just do whatever pleases them to do thinking they could do whatever they want, whenever they want. The parents are there to prepare them for the future that is coming ahead of them and telling them how the world works and what actions are good and what actions are bad.

But my statement above doesn't always apply. They have some horrible parents on earth too. Anyone can become parents, not everyone can make great parents.
If the parent is a bad influence on the kid, the kid might take habits from the mother/father and they might go look for better influence from other people like their relatives. But most of the time, they listen to their parents because they think their parents knows everything since they are the one teaching them everything since they were a baby and that might make them grow into a bad person.

BlahISuck said:

I hear a lot about direction and guidance and parenting, but not much about parents. I mean to ask "why parents"?

Children need to listen to somebody who has their interests at heart. That's usually their parents, but it could be anyone who's taken charge of them like an extended family member, a teacher, a doctor, whatever. Children aren't necessarily able to know what's good for them or be able to do the things they need because of lack or experience, knowledge, means, etc.

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Now this is the closest I've seen to exploring this theme, and let's explore it further.

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I see. Because the parent(s) or guardian(s) of a child is/are their only fulltime caregivers. The factor of being omnipresent to the child is what precludes other means of upbringing. A child raised in an orphanage, say, will most likely turn out normally, but as Silais points out there is a greater risk of problems arising due to the absence of the maternal and paternal bonds. Even an adoptive parent can be expected to be better for the child than any institution because again, while there isn't the 'biological/physical connection', they can still devote a fuller degree of time, attention and affection. Parents, simply through being what they are, are the best teachers of self-worth and sensible conduct in a child. Of course children also spend a lot of time in school, but they're unlikely to respect their teachers (and vice versa) in my experience.

Children need to have a form of direction, that's true, but I think also once they get older, and their brains are fully ready to go, disagreeing with their elders isn't exactly a bad thing either. Everyone has unique experiences, and age does NOT imply wisdom (talking from personal experience here, yeesh). Some people who are in their 50s, 60s, even older can be very foolish and haul their weight around like they know it all. Once a child gains the ability to realize that not everyone is right, is when they should start to separate from their parents, because they will inevitably see their parent's flaws (while conveniently forgetting about their own).

Again, it doesn't have to be a parent. But any sort of external force can end up being dangerous as well. Last year I was influenced by someone with seemingly good intentions, but she was selfish and malicious, and tried to "keep me in my place" even as I began to disagree with her. Despite her age, she honestly was no more wise than I was and really was a great fool, and looking back I made the right decision to back off when I did. Honestly I think the validity of someone's advice doesn't come with age, but rather humility, but that's a hard thing to find these days.

BlahISuck said:

What is the basis of this? Aren't children individuals making their way in the world? Is it right for children to be imposed upon by their parents? And if you believe children should obey their parents, what gives the parents that authority? Why not another institution? What do you think should be in a perfect world?

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Short answer: Children are highly impressionable and they mimic those impressions they get. You need parents to set a good example for those children in a loving manner, that's something you don't get by sending them to some school or institution. I believe 'perfect' is impossible, there are always going to be faults.

But why parents? Why that nuclear family of two parents? What if there was a class of parents - specializing in parenting - that would collectively raise each successive generation? And before you knock it, try looking at it less critically and come up with a few positive points.

SnowpointQuincy said:

If you are under 21, you are too stupid to realize how stupid you are. When you are 31, you will realize how stupid you are at 21. When you are 41, you will realize how stupid you were at 31.

You're parents are smarter than you, unless they are criminals or drug addicts. If you are 18 and think life would be better without them, leave. Your life is, in most circumstances, better because of your family. That is why you stay.

This post reads harsh and angry, but I'm not trying to be hurtful. It's just a phase most teenagers go through - to believe they are smarter than your parents, you will mellow out in a few years.

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What about children and teenagers who truly are smarter than their parents?

Mmm true say, a good point! Would that lend more strength to the argument of having a dedicated parenting class to manage the rearing of the future?

As a child, you learn and develop as an individual, until you're old enough and developed enough to be autonomous and rational. You obey your parents because they raise you, from the second you're born to the minute you set out on your own. As a child, naive, impressionable and unworldy, you need parental figures (This can be anyone, not necessarily a parent) to teach and instruct you, because the child cannot be self sufficient, except for maybe some rare cases. It's also like, a very primal, animalistic thing. The parent(s) rear the young, and the young follow the parents lead until they leave the nest.

Not sure I can see the point of even making this thread. Children are innocent, inexperienced human beings. Depending on the parents, they can grow up to be very bright or very stupid.

Discipline can make children obedient towards their parents, and in the long run it teaches them to do right instead of wrong.