I don't like how people let you get away with everything. You ask so many inappropriate questions and make so many creepy requests. It's been two years of you doing this on and off again, and I've been tired of it for a long time. I wish you would just leave me alone, like you always say you will, instead of crawling back to me a few days later like you always do.
Dear Anon 2,
I feel like I've been bothering you a lot lately. I know you don't inherently initiate conversations, but your answers have gotten shorter and less engaging over the past few weeks. I know you just got FE3H. I was hoping that'd help you out of this funk, and maybe it is and I'm just not seeing it because you're busy playing. Either way, I'm just worried about you. I hope all is well.
Did you think I was going to be like you? Did you think that I wasn't going to think things through as an adult? I'm almost 20, and yet here you are trying to act like I'm still a child. Did you think that shaming me for nothing was going to go down well? I'm sorry for not being what you wanted me to be. I'm my own person and not a clone of you.
All I want to do is make you proud. I know that you love me unconditionally no matter what my flaws and faults are, but I still feel like I’ll never live up to the person you want me to be. The person you deserve to be proud of. It hurts so much. I often dream about what I’ll do when you die and I just don’t even see a future for myself knowing I’ve been nothing but a useless leech. I’m not anything to brag about, I’m not anyone successful.. I’m just me. And trust me, even if you wouldn’t change that for the world, I’d give up everything just for a chance to undo all of, ugh, this. I know you can’t see it but I’m gesturing to myself. I want to change all of this so you can one day have peace in knowing I’ll be okay without you. And I’m still not ready and I don’t think I ever will be.
Glad you're gone. For the most part you were good, in fact arguably the best in some cases. But it was always me vs you and I could tell the divide. Especially since, now that you're gone the atmosphere between me and some others instantly changed. You also didn't help me when you really should've have as it was part of your job description.
Well, good luck in your future endeavors, regardless.
The time we had together was one of the best moments of my life. While we just only playing around and never serious, the month of playing around was still fun. However now that it's over, now that you found a real serious relationship I've been struggling to get over you. I want to be okay with the fact that you love someone who isn't me. I want to be okay with the fact your in a serious relationship with someone that's not me. I want to be happy for you and whatever future lies with them. But I'm struggling to move on and accept that I'm not really with you and that you're with him. I wish I didn't get so annoyed at your tweets about him. I wish I didn't internally scream when I see you tweet every detail about your relationship but I do. I don't wanna be like that though. Sometimes I will wonder why you'd rather be with someone as unattractive as he is and not me and I hate myself for thinking that. Cause I know that thinking that is awful and that looks don't always matter and I don't wanna imply that I'm better looking and therefore you're better off with me, but I still do anyways. I hate that I'm like this and I don't wanna be like that. I'm sorry. I wish you two the best I really do. Maybe sometimes I wish it was me and that if I meet up with you at that bar it would be different. I know now I struggle with accepting I'm not with you but I wanna try to get to that point. I wanna to be happy and support you as a friend. And to love seeing you talk about him. I just hope I can get to that point someday. You were right I need to put myself out there. I think the first step is to make friends and then slowly find a romantic relationship and then maybe I can finally be over you completely and we can see each other as just friends again. Good luck to you buddy. Love your friend.
"Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere"
I think my entire world is about to collapse... or at least so it feels like. The past week has been worrisome to say the least. My dad's coughing has reached new levels of muk that scares the living crap out of me every day and night, my luck with trying to get financially back on track with a job is failing left right and centre and then my own personal stuff is a bit too hard to bear. Then again I haven't given up before, so why now?
Who cares if a few̵̨̧̥̭͉͕͉̤̘̺̬̭̮̬̖̥͚̠͓̖̜̰̤͙͔̮͕̙͊̕͜, ț̴̇r̵̼͝é̷̻ȅ̸̳s̷̩͋ a̶̫̝̔̀̈̿͒͑̈́͊͘͝ṟ̷̤̤̺͚̫̗͚͐̂̓͠ͅé̴̛͎̜̗͉̮̻͔̮͎͚͕͋̽͌̈́́̓͋͝ d̷̢̹͓̼̝̰̙̬͈̙͖̘͕͈̖̗̳̜̣̞̩̭̄̅̏͒͑̋̅̒͒̏̔̃̎͛̀̐̄̓̉̄̃͊͊͐̇̕̕̚̚͘͠͝͝͝͝ʎ̷̨̡̧̢̬̣̼̙͓̠̝͉̮̝̟̙͔̝͚̺͎̟̪̤̖̰̯͍͓̙̜̘̙̭̑͂͐̂͊́̀̕i̴̢̘̝̹͙̗̳͔̳̲̟͓̜͇̬̻̞̗̺̟̖̘͙͖͚͚̋̀͒̅̿̀̅̀̽͑͌̒̀͂̎̋̓̆́̌̚̕ͅn̵̡̨̛͍̖̺̞͍̼̫͕͚͖̗͐͛͋͐͐̂̀̆̏͛̀͘̚͜͝ƃ̶̤͕̄̋̒̋̃͆͋̓͗̔͗͆̓̈́͂͊͛͑̍̌̎͂̀̽̄
I don't really have anything against you, it's more the way other people treat you that irritates me more. Because people enable you. You have this sort of sweet/innocent/helpless front that make people feel like they need to protect you when in my own opinion you're perfectly capable of defending yourself and being strong, but the easy thing is to just play the helpless innocent. I've been there, actually. Maybe you don't realize it but you have a manipulative side to you that can be damaging to the ones on the other side. And my trust on certain people was broken and viceversa because of what you did. And yet I don't hate you because I'm not narrowminded and shallow and I see how caring and gentle you can be when you let go. I just don't know what about you is real and what is just the front you put. I want to forgive and move on, because I don't think it's doing me any good to be in the same place as you, at least for now. And I also need to give real life priority. So this is it (or should be, if my will is strong enough), at least for now.
It’s been, what, five or so years now since you disappeared, and I still wonder how you’re doing and why you suddenly stopped coming online. I miss the times when we were young teens and talking about silly stuff at school. Hope you’re okay!
just wanted to let you know that I know how terrible I've been and how much I f-d it up. It's been more than two years now and even if I've long since accepted it, it still hurts. You had been always so kind and supportive for five long years, we always helped and trusted each other, and yet I could do that to you, guess in the end I wasn't that different from those other people that had hurt you so much. I miss you in my life even while I know everything's gone forever, and it's for your best. You deserved better, and hope that it's what you have now.
The main reason I'm getting a flu shot is for my own health. I know that you're concerned, but I'd rather be healthy than being sick for a week and miserable. Also, I'm an adult, so I can make these choices for myself, thank you very much.
I'm really selfish, I guess. I was scared over something for months, but now it's changed and just because I was relieved I couldn't stop crying?? How weird... I'm really worried, still. I think you should do whatever you want to do, and I'm not gonna say a word otherwise. I'm just not very strong, but I will be if I have to be.
A reincarnation of my childhood dreams
I don’t know what this emotion is
If this place is also inside a dream you might know me as Drew | paired to Palamon
im tired of life. This whole constant battle of trying to land a job and being denied one on every single attempt just kills me. Just now had a call of what probably was the closest thing to actually having a job, only for it to be denied in the very last step... luck is just one giant illusion at this point
I warned you, I told you, I swore up and down and you still continued. You lost, damages ran rampant, jobs were lost people were fired and still you continued to lay the blame on others. Well, you're on the chopping block and there is no sympathy from me, but more maniacle laughter and seeing yourself be put in the same position you yourself enjoyed placing others who had no cause to be there. Just . . . desserts.