My grandfather passed away when I was a baby and I haven't been in contact with my father for a long time (he wasn't around when I was born, talked to me briefly at 16, then ignored me until 23, and I haven't seen him since then), but my relationship with my mother and grandmother is really good. We're going to have dinner together this coming week and they're very supportive and kind. They babied my brother for too long and now he's kind of a muk, but I turned out all right. Broken (anxiety, depression, blah blah etc), but all right.
Who cares if a few̵̨̧̥̭͉͕͉̤̘̺̬̭̮̬̖̥͚̠͓̖̜̰̤͙͔̮͕̙͊̕͜, ț̴̇r̵̼͝é̷̻ȅ̸̳s̷̩͋ a̶̫̝̔̀̈̿͒͑̈́͊͘͝ṟ̷̤̤̺͚̫̗͚͐̂̓͠ͅé̴̛͎̜̗͉̮̻͔̮͎͚͕͋̽͌̈́́̓͋͝ d̷̢̹͓̼̝̰̙̬͈̙͖̘͕͈̖̗̳̜̣̞̩̭̄̅̏͒͑̋̅̒͒̏̔̃̎͛̀̐̄̓̉̄̃͊͊͐̇̕̕̚̚͘͠͝͝͝͝ʎ̷̨̡̧̢̬̣̼̙͓̠̝͉̮̝̟̙͔̝͚̺͎̟̪̤̖̰̯͍͓̙̜̘̙̭̑͂͐̂͊́̀̕i̴̢̘̝̹͙̗̳͔̳̲̟͓̜͇̬̻̞̗̺̟̖̘͙͖͚͚̋̀͒̅̿̀̅̀̽͑͌̒̀͂̎̋̓̆́̌̚̕ͅn̵̡̨̛͍̖̺̞͍̼̫͕͚͖̗͐͛͋͐͐̂̀̆̏͛̀͘̚͜͝ƃ̶̤͕̄̋̒̋̃͆͋̓͗̔͗͆̓̈́͂͊͛͑̍̌̎͂̀̽̄
Fine! I got along well with all of them, my grandparents on mom's side especially really loved me. Only have granddad on dad's side left and miss them. =( Relationship with parents is also fine, though dad can be a bit annoying and frustrate mom and I sometimes since he's so stubborn lol.
I get along with my mom and stepdad. My mom broke up with my dad when I was a baby and I never saw him again. I got along really well with my grandma but in the last 3 years before she died, she became half deaf and it was really hard to talk to her and I wasn't visiting her often anymore. My grandfather died when I was really young and I was not close to him.
My relationship with my parents is...so-so. Things have smoothed out a lot as I've gotten older, but not in the sense of a typical "family" relationship - we're just people who live together. We get along best by keeping out of each other's way. I've suffered a lot of abuse from both my parents - my father hit me when I was a child, and my mother has put me through all manner of mental abuse from my teens onwards; she basically picked up where he left off - and I think the best way to put it is that we tolerate each other. To a point. The atmosphere in this house can go from amicable to strained to outright hostile in a matter of minutes.
I have called my father by his first name for the last 13 years or so. He lost the right to be called father by me after he lashed out at me when I was in College; I didn't speak to him for a year after that, and I haven't called him "father" since then...it's actually done wonders for our relationship. We've both calmed down a lot since I was a teenager, and we get along better if we just act like we're not family. I am actually okay with this.
My mother...she's very difficult, honestly. I am acutely aware that she considers me a failed child - this is why my brother exists, she decided that she wanted to try again because I wasn't what she had hoped for...and yes, she has told me this directly, amongst other things - but as far as I'm concerned she has failed me as a mother, so whilst neither of us is what the other wanted, we've learned to make the best of it...more or less. My mother is responsible for a lot of my self-confidence issues, suicidal thoughts, and general anxieties and insecurities. But then, I still live at home, and I'm not the easiest person to tolerate sometimes, so I'm not entirely blameless either. There is some truth to what she says about me. We are two people who would avoid one another if we weren't family.
But there is no real love between myself and my parents. I can't remember the last time I was told I was loved, or felt like I was loved. I don't really feel like they're my parents - both by design and by choice, I am the outcast in our dysfunctional little family. I feel like I'm intruding if I even try to engage with them on a more personal familial level, and I've never tried to either, so one perpetuates the other. I'm sure when someone dies, be it me or them, there will be regrets and a lot of things left unsaid. I'm sure a family therapist would have a field day with us. But this is just the way things are, and I've learned to make the most of it. I'll take tolerance, a modicum of trust, and a certain level of respect, from them, because that's the best I'm going to get...and in a way they're far more valuable to me than things one would expect from parental figures, because I've had to work very hard to earn them. If there is one thing they've taught me over the years, it's that there is no such thing as unconditional love.
tl;dr - we have issues.
My grandparents are great. It took me a long time to forgive them for moving away just as we moved into the same area where they were previously living - that sends a pretty strong message tbh, and 11 year old me took that to mean they didn't want to be around us - and I didn't speak to them for 3 years after my grandmother interfered in things she had no right to interfere in, but we patched things up after I graduated from University and since then I visit them once a year in the summer and phone every Friday after work. My grandparents act more like parents to me than my actual parents do, honestly.
I get along very well with my dad and soon-to-be stepmom. They're less than a month away from marrying, and everybody in our families is very supportive of the both of them.
When my mom was alive, I kinda had a rocky relationship with her as a teenager and young adult, but we both loved each other, and I do believe that if she continued to live and defeated her illness, it would have gotten better.
I never got to know my dad's father, and I was only 3 years old when his mom passed away. My mom's parents are still living, and I get along well with my grandmother and see her at least once every other week and talk to her whenever I can. However, my grandfather is another story. He doesn't seem interested in keeping in touch with us and had been this way for several years, but nowadays he isn't doing too well and we have to find out through other means on how he's doing.
I get along really well with my mom. I'd probably consider her my best friend and someone who I spend a good amount of time with. My dad and I get along really well too but don't share as many interests so we don't hang out as much but have no problems between us.
Both of my grandparents on my dad's side have passed away. I was really close to them for the most part but didn't see a whole lot of them at the end. They were pretty secluded and didn't visit much and relied on us visiting.
My grandparents on my mom's side divorced and my grandfather moved pretty far away. We see him about once a year now and aren't super close. My grandmother however is one of the closest people in my life. Despite living a few hours away she visits a few times a month and likes to take us traveling. She is a really big sports fan so her and I end up going to a lot of games together as well. She is a super fun person
I regret not knowing my grandparents too well because of the language barrier making it hard to communicate. They aren't fluent in English and vice versa I'm not fluent in Cantonese so our conversations are limited and I don't particularly experience a sense of closeness to them. I never got to know either of my grandpas - my maternal grandpa died 30 years before I was born and my paternal grandfather died when I was 2 or 3 so I don't remember him. I do wish I was closer to my grandparents though - my paternal grandma especially seems so sweet, and it makes me sad that she is getting very sick. :(
I get along better with my parents now then when I was younger but I think I could do a lot more to improve our relationship. When I was younger I used to be a lot more resentful of the choices they made on my behalf but as I grew older, I began to appreciate all the dedication they put into areas such as my education, their career so they could support us etc. I've never been very open with my parents about what goes on in my life - my sister is a lot more vocal about her hardships, or telling them good news but for some reason I just find it difficult to be open with them at all. Maybe it's because I was so closed off when I was younger in my whole "I don't like you!!" phase that now it's hard, even though our relationship has been mended quite a bit. I'm working on it!
My relationship with my family is kind of on the rocks, being trans basically ensures your whole family will either disown you or keep you at a "safe distance" because they don't understand. In my case, at least :/
I have a really good relationship with my mum. We're very similar people for the most part although there's definitely areas where we differ. I don't really share a lot of my deeper thoughts with her but we talk a lot about entertainment, politics and stuff and we have similar senses of humour enjoy each others company. There was a brief patch a few years back where we had some pretty major problems because sometimes she forgets that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions, but generally speaking she's always been supportive of me and she's been really understanding of things with my illness and a big help there.
My relationship with my dad is... complicated? For a really long time I just straight up hated him. He didn't treat my mum super well before their divorce and we never really got along when I was a kid. He put me through hell, made little effort to understand me and tried to force me to be someone I wasn't. At one point he was dating this raving rattata of a woman whose kids were allowed to treat my sister and I like muk and who's insane rules we were forced to comply with. I once spent a few hours locked in a bathroom because I wouldn't eat something I was served and wanted to go home. After he moved across the country our relationship improved and I could more or less enjoy a day in his company more or less. He never made much effort to keep in contact with us outside of when his mother pushed him into it and now as an adult I really can't find the energy to bother initiating contact with him either so I guess we're pretty neutral?
I'm not super close with my paternal grandmother really, but she's been really good to us and I appreciate her a lot. She lives on the other side of the country so I don't see her much but I've always gotten along with her and enjoyed spending time with her. I feel bad that I don't contact her more really, but we don't have much in the way of common interests to discuss so it's more comfortable to keep it infrequent. We're send her a birthday present every year and will talk on the phone a few times a year.
My maternal grandmother I can't stand. She's mean, vindictive, childish and manipulative. She perceives herself as superior to people around her and is determined to appear as such to anyone looking in from the outside. She was always horribly unfair to my mum, sister and I whilst treating my asshole uncle like the sun shines out of his ass and was constantly picking fights or using bribery to try and control us. Actually, even as an admitted control freak, I can say that her control issues make me look normal. I absolutely hated living with her when we did and I make a point of not having any more contact with her. I could go on and on about how much this woman infuriates me. Weirdly though, I also kind of pity her. She's blind to the way my uncle takes advantage of her, she's a hypochondriac and afraid of everything, she's not very stable mentally and she's going to die sad and alone. Yeah, we don't have a good relationship to the point that I just make sure we don't have one at all.
I've never met either of my grandfathers, I don't even know if my paternal grandfather is alive or not. My maternal grandfather sounds like a cool guy from what my mum has said.
My family is complicated lol. I didn't even go into my "grandparents" who are just amazing and deserve a warrant for being better family than most of my actual family.
Maternal Grandfather: He has been dead for a while. I don't remember him much. He was just really stern.
Paternal Grandparents: I am not really close with them even though I saw them pretty frequently growing up. I am not really close with my dad's side.
Maternal Grandmother: Probably the only person on this list who I have a lot of affection for and whom I am debatably close with. She basically raised me when my parents were unavailable. (Which was a large part of my "youth.") My Vietnamese has deteriorated due to the pressures of having to adopt and master the English language due to my multiple stints in ESL, so it gets harder for me to talk to her. I have accepted that I will never be able to come out to her, which I am still sad about.
Parents: We are very distant for many reasons. I won't list them all here. They weren't a huge or important parts of my childhood. They were and still are very distant and emotionally unavailable. Since I was 13 or 14, they've tried to bridge the gap. Hasn't worked. They have also made me realize that my family (as in my parents generation and my grandparents) are not safe people to come out to either, so that always puts me on edge too. They have said and done things (and continue to say and do things) that have damaged me emotionally. Yeah, this relationship is a complete mess.