So sorry I haven't returned in a while! Got tied up with life. But there's no time like the present, so let's review:
@The Final Watchman - It's a very decent SU, but I feel you need a bit more meat and substance in your personality section. Also, am I going crazy or you don't have a starter picked out? I can't seem to find it. If you can just adjust it in these areas you'll be a-okay to go. :3
That's actually because I saw three good RPers post SUs so I didn't actually finish it, xD. Though, now that I still have a chance... *Runs to SU*
So sorry I haven't returned in a while! Got tied up with life. But there's no time like the present, so let's review.
@Lt. Col. Fantastic - (Great username BTW) It's just, um, well, the character is unbelievable in a lot of ways. She's just 19, conning several rich men out of money and buying a bloody house on top of that, and she gets.... SOUL? That's more acquainted to the rich men ruining her life and placing her in a cell forever. And she just "escapes?" There are one too many things that this apparently unintelligent girl does that isn't really believable. There are also several spelling mistakes. Declined for now.
I'm not saying make her boring, just a bit more.... real. And interesting.
Okie dokes. I'll work on this, or even scratch the character and make a new one if I'm feeling extra insane tonight. Should be done by tomorrow. (Sorry for spelling, I don't have any spellcheck, and lets be honest. I'm not the best speller here. But I will either buy a dictionary or somehow code spellcheck for this thing.)
EDIT: Oh, wow. Theres a spellchecking app on the Market. No more errors for me!
Yes! Chaos indeed. Looking forward to working with y'all. :3c
Also, just a bit of question to sate my curiosity, does the aspiration part of the SU have any major relevancy or is that just an extension of the personality section? I'd like mine to be better thought out if it turns out to be something of massive importance, haha. xD
Name/Nicknames: Villidan 'Vil' Vertigo
Age: 16, almost 17. (Six days left. <I8) (Birthday hat smiley))
Appearance: Average height male (5'11"). He's physically fit, but doesn't have extreme muscles or anything. Wears black jeans, and various ironic tee shirts. (Most solid black or white with a center picture. His favorite is one has a fish on it) He also wears hoodies sometimes, mostly solid green or purple ones with white drawstrings, He wears aviater sunglasses often, which are dark enough to hide his eyes (which are green). He has blond hair, which is spiked up into an anime style faux hawk. He has mainly converse shoes, of varying colors. He picks the one that goes or compliments with his shirt the best. (So if he had on a purple hoodie, he'd pick either purple or yellow shoes) He wears a watch on his ankle, for ironic purposes. Other than that, he has no jewelry or peircings.
Personality: Vil is your "hipster/cool guy". He keeps his calm (at least on the outside) in hilarious or frightening situations. He's into all the "cool stuff", like computers, video games, ironically dangerous items, my little pony, and just about anyone on the scene would like. On the inside, its a hassle keeping up with his cool persona. Having to control facial expressions, reactions, and basically numb down anything he does, so he seems more "chill" and relaxed. When he talks, its usually very calm. He does use cuss words quite often, though this is his attempt to seem cooler as well. He's pretty funny, and tells hilarious jokes now and then. But the only thing you'll probably get out of him is a "Heh heh." (Usually ironic laughter at terrible jokes will be more involved, like a "hahahahaha" Or "LOLZ") He's also homosexual, or rather bisexual, though prefers guys vastly. He's not like "omg I am flaming" stereotype gay guy, more like a normal guy who likes boy parts who happens to be homosexual. Like if he finds his soul mate, genitals aren't really a deal breaker.
History: Vil grew up in an appartmentwith his dad, as his mother died when he was little. They weren't rich, but Vil always had food and a roof. Actually, Vil had some sweet stuff, like an Xbox 360 and a pretty nice gaming desktop. He takes karate classes too, and excells. (His dad knows karate too, and showed him a lot of stuff) Other than that, his money usually was spent on clothes or Fig Bars. Vil loves fig bars. Anyway, they lived in their little apartment, and things went along nicely between the two. They weren't very close, but they cared about each other and hung out a few times. (Usually resulting in Vil showing his dad how to play a video game the 'correct way') Things were pretty good at school, though Vil got picked on for his sexuality a lot. He mostly ignored this ridicule, but has been known to lash back with a lot of angry words (while he kept his cool of course.) Deep down, and by deep down I mean not very deep at all once you get past his cool shell, this hurts him, and he is really confused. He likes girls too, but just prefers dudes. He tried explaining this to his dad, who's only response was, "So are you gay or what? Just tell me, son." After much facepalmage, Vil just said he was gay so they could move on. His dad didn't really care much, surprisingly.
Vil made alright grades, without putting much effort forward. (Bar any computer related class, which he showed much inclination to) His dad didn't mind this either, and was pretty slack on Vil. Vil didn't have any significant others, but had a few crushes on some dudes. Unfortunately, they were all heterosexual. Actually, Vil was the only homosexual male he knew, which added to his confusion on the matter. He felt weird, like an outcast, but of course never said this out loud. It ate at him for a year or so, and he took quite a verbal demoralization from some bullies at school. On the outside, he never flinched. But underneath he screamed, cried, even considered suicide. But he was too cool for that. (No really, he was worried about what would happen to his image if he killed himself.) Nobody knew what he had inside, and the anger and sadness that built up. That's why it was such a big deal when he finally snapped. Some guy was jeering at him, with derogetory terms for homosexuals no doubt, when he flew off the handle. He proceeded to "beat the **** out of him, and tape his mouth shut for sweet, ironic symbolism." (Actual words said to principal when asked to recite his story.) His father was furious, well, about as furious as such a mellow fellow could get. (Vil was grounded for a whole week :O <-- sarcastic shocker face) Daddy did however, get concerned, as Vil had really beaten the crap out of this kid, in an extremely violent (yet cool.....somewhat) manner. He was recommended to the SOUL program, where he would have a chance to go on an adventure and mature. Dad brought it up a dinner one time, and Vil simply said, "Sure. Sounds cool to me." He actually was very excited, but even in the company of family he has to act cool. He was upset with himself for snapping, and had a lot of cool cred to rebuild. He is also still really confused about his preference....though he is pretty sure he likes boys. (But his friends keep asking why and how and megh. He's just not sure why nobody else can get it.)
Aspiration: Really just wants a good man/maybewoman. Has a knack for programming and coding, so he'll probably be in the computer field.
Password 1: Queso was excellently recreated this year using imcredible octopus populations. Lol wut.
Password 2: wiIlow fourty-two
Note: 'Villidan' was his father's attempt at a unique name, though it just ended up sounding like a final fantasy villain more than anything else.
Note 2: Vil plays the harp, whether ironically or sincerely is unknown.
Note 3: I didn't really know where to put these notes.
Okay, so my sanity level last night was debatable, since I made a new character. Anyway, here he is! I like him more than Margot. I used my spellchecker, but it didn't catch anything, so I'm skeptical about it's proficiency.