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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fan Club

Sweet Candace

So Awesome! /)^ɛ^(\
5,282
Posts
17
Years
Okay, I posted my one-shot. This primarily spawned itself as I wanted to create a fan-fic where Rainbow Dash falls in love with a male pegasus. I don't like those stories where each pony gets paired up with other ponies. They're just friends.
 

~Ryukaa

total nerd
1,328
Posts
16
Years
I read both your fics, and they're pretty good. xD;
Candace, your story was good. Though, it could've been built more. It has alot of potential. It felt a little too short. You could've explained why she feel for White, instead of just having her blush. Like I said, it was good, but there could've been more detail and possible content.

AK, your story was pretty nice as well! I liked it. You put in some background and setting for the story structure, which is great for starting a story. (I love the United States of Amanica, btw.)
You described things simply, and nicely. I can't really comment too much on it, since it's the introduction. But what you've got so far is solid.
I see you shoved in some NegaiShipping in there too. xDDD;;

Anyway, this video is pretty interesting. You guys should take a look. o3o
 

Sweet Candace

So Awesome! /)^ɛ^(\
5,282
Posts
17
Years
I'm not the best at creating stories, and I didn't want the story to get so mushy, it distracted the people reading the story from the plot itself. It was a simple one-shot. I usually can't create long stories as I suffer from bouts of serious writer's block at times.
 
Miz en Scène

Miz en Scène

Everybody's connected
1,645
Posts
15
Years
Sweet Candace said:
I'm not the best at creating stories, and I didn't want the story to get so mushy, it distracted the people reading the story from the plot itself. It was a simple one-shot. I usually can't create long stories as I suffer from bouts of serious writer's block at times.
Click to expand...
What Ryuuka is trying to say is that the story needs more depth into it, seeing as it's a shipping fic and all. In a one-shot, there's not really much of a plot, or rather, the story is mostly character-driven, so what you need to be focusing on is description and character interaction, as opposed to just moving the plot along for the story's sake. This goes doubly so for shipping/romance fics because the readers want to see how the characters would react in a situation wherein their emotions (i.e. love) are explicitly described (Part A) in tandem to their actions (i.e. blushing, shying away, etc) (Part B). Why the story felt so empty was that, as Ryuuka said, you just described how the characters reacted, using Part B of the two part formula, without actually exlplaining to the reader why Dash felt that way, which is Part A. Personally, I found this funny because a lot of writers tend to just use Part A without actually having a Part B to back it up. That is to say, telling without showing. You did the opposite, showing, not telling. xD

Hope this helps in your future writing endeavours. I'll get around to reading yours sometime, AK.

NB: I use the terms Part A & B for a simple explanation, not that people actually call it that.
 

Sweet Candace

So Awesome! /)^ɛ^(\
5,282
Posts
17
Years
I'm not the best at making fan-fics. I tend to make very rushed stories, but even if the points you stated, I still feel like a did better than I would've a while back.

And that's been my problem making stories for a long time, I don't do a lot of character development (in this case Dash's emotions), because I get so worried if I do a lot of character development, it bogs the story down and the plot gets lost in a sea of character development.
 
Miz en Scène

Miz en Scène

Everybody's connected
1,645
Posts
15
Years
Sweet Candace said:
I'm not the best at making fan-fics. I tend to make very rushed stories, but even if the points you stated, I still feel like a did better than I would've a while back.
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I'm not denying that, and it's not completely the work of a beginner, but, as a writer/reviewer myself, I say in encouragement that you can strive to do better if you wanted to. Literature is beautiful.
And that's been my problem making stories for a long time, I don't do a lot of character development (in this case Dash's emotions), because I get so worried if I do a lot of character development, it bogs the story down and the plot gets lost in a sea of character development.
Click to expand...
The beauty of writing is in being able to balance the two perfectly. The best fics, Black and White with Octavia and Lyra for instance, manage to expand so much on the characters of two, insignificant background characters in only one chapter --a remarkeable achievement. Having said that, don't sweat it. If you love to write, you'll get there eventually.
 

Buoysel

Trust me, I'm a Professional*
2,006
Posts
15
Years
What is the best demotivational poster you have come across while browsing for MLP pictures?

Mine would have to be this one. There are a lot that I really like, but this one made me laugh so hard that it became my favorite.

Spoiler:
 

poopnate

109
Posts
13
Years
Buoysel said:
What is the best demotivational poster you have come across while browsing for MLP pictures?

Mine would have to be this one. There are a lot that I really like, but this one made me laugh so hard that it became my favorite.

Spoiler:
Click to expand...

ABSOLUTE GENIUS! I love it. :3


Speaking of genius, the new episode of MLP: Mentally Advanced Series is out today. I realize that none of you probably watch it, but I still love sharing the series because it's so funny. Those of you that don't watch it should just give it a try. :P



Adding to the shipping conversation, this video finally has an answer to that: AppleBurn (AppleJack & Braeburn). We finally have a M/F ship of somewhat mane ponies (I know Braeburn isn't a Mane Pony, but he's center of an episode (Over a Barrel), so that gives him SOME status).
 
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Miz en Scène

Miz en Scène

Everybody's connected
1,645
Posts
15
Years
poopnate said:
Speaking of genius, the new episode of MLP: Mentally Advanced Series is out today. I realize that none of you probably watch it, but I still love sharing the series because it's so funny. Those of you that don't watch it should just give it a try. :P
Click to expand...
I actually watch Mentally Advanced. xD It's genius and the guy is such a consistent updater. I mean, come on, six episodes in six weeks? Amazing.

On the subject of Demot Posters, I know this isn't one, but I love it anyway.

Spoiler:


In other news, I was wondering how vague I could get with referring to MLP without actually mentioning ponies There's a little Joseph Ducreux style quote in my sig down there. Too vague? Because if it is, excellent.
 

Åzurε

Shi-shi-shi-shaw!
2,276
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 30
  • Seen Jun 2, 2013
D: that behind the scenes video is private now! I didn't get to see it.
 

poopnate

109
Posts
13
Years
Mizan de la Plume Kuro said:
I actually watch Mentally Advanced. xD It's genius and the guy is such a consistent updater. I mean, come on, six episodes in six weeks? Amazing.
Click to expand...

I know! I got the song from last week on my iPod. :P I'm so glad I can look forward to the video popping up in my inbox every weekend without a miss. :3

Favorite quote from this week:

Rarity: *German accent* Seig Heil, Sleep Nazi! Ven do ve put AppleJack in der Concentration Camp?
Twilight: Shut up.
Rarity: Vut is dis? Un Earf Pony is sleeping in mein kampf bed. Unacceptable!
Mien Führer! Führer! Excuse me, Führer!
Twilight: Go to bed, Rarity!
Rarity: But der is un Earf pony! And you are in charge of de Sleeping!
Twilight: *glaring*
Rarity: *normal accent* You could have at least TRIED to play along.
 
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~Ryukaa

total nerd
1,328
Posts
16
Years
Although I'm not a big fan of the Mentally Advanced series, I have to admit, that episode was pretty funny. xDD;;
I love Applejack. |D

Oh, and these are really fun to look through.
Pretty interesting, and amusing. xDD;;
 

Sweet Candace

So Awesome! /)^ɛ^(\
5,282
Posts
17
Years
I recently saw the episode where Rainbow was obsessed on changing her name, and kept thinking 'Lesbia' in a country. (Lesbian Carwasher and Carwash Rugmuncher made me LOL.)

Oh silly Rainbow Dash, I still like you either way.
 
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