Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

Granted, but tomorrow never comes, and tomorrow's when you're due for a paycheck. o3o;

I wish for two straws.

MarstheCar said:

Granted, now they are annoying useful ads that take up the whole screen.

Click to expand...

They'd be apps, then. :-P

Jordan said:

I wish for two straws.

Click to expand...

Granted, but you can't drink anything with them because one of the straws broke your back, completely paralyzing you.

I wish I had a starling as a pet. His name would be Mario, and I could teach him to talk like the game character.

Granted, but if you don't feed him a AAA battery every hour on the hour he dies, exuding a poisonous gas that disintegrated everything it touches.

I wish I knew how to hack into computers.

Granted. You can know easily cut your way (hack) into the inside of computers' hardware.

I wish for Humanitarianism.

Granted, but its on the other side of the world


I wish to be able to travel through time and space efficiently and safely.

Granted, but you can only do it once...and stay at the new time period permanently.

I wish for two new lawnmowers.

Granted, but they kill each other saying that there can only be one lawnmower.

I wish I could stop time.

Granted. But, you never said anything about being able to start it again.

I wish to be a hardworking teacher.

Granted, but you teach the worst kids known to man.

I wish One Piece was as popular as Naruto or BLEACH. U_U

Granted, but its quality drops to that of those other two series.

I wish for a second Earth.

There already is one. I'm the "you" on this one. How's it feel to have the "you" on this world be a worthless otaku who does nothing but laze around on the computer all day?

I wish for complete understanding of the political situations and such of the U.S.

Granted, But everyone else can too so you die of a wasted wish.

I Wish a was a sexy girl for a day.

Granted, and then you return to being a Typhlosion at exactly 11:59 PM that day.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone called me by my real name.

Granted. However no one realized that your legal name, through a clerical error, was never registered, and thus you have no "real name." You don't get any cash.

I wish I had a cookie.

Granted, but you have no milk.

I wish One Piece was even more popular than Naruto and BLEACH.

Granted. A massive jump in japanophiles worldwide lead to a super-jump in it's popularity. However now mainstream entertainment is completely filled with horribly badly made fan-based media and japanophilic catchphrases that have been messed up by Americanization.
"Thanks for that kawaii story on pikachu furrsonality cons in the US Judy-chan. I can't wait for the next one! ^-^"

I wish I had a sexy girlfriend who was in love with me.

Granted. She likes to talk about her problems and spend all of her days shopping. Also, her voice is deep and raspy. She may be in love with you, but you may not feel the same.

I wish for a Magic Library.

Granted, but all the books are Naruto volumes.

I wish I had a library filled with nothing but Case Closed volumes.

Granted, but you get kidnapped by the mob and killed, so your library is useless.

Wish I could fly.

Granted, but after going 10,000 feet in the air, your arms are chopped off by a chopper.

I wish I could DIE.