Alrighty. Broad comments first, then nitpicks... after this:
Question: You think it's a good idea to add some comparisons with Magikarp? And perhaps elaborating a bit more about how Feebas evolution's process isn't explained either?
Magikarp comparisons - eh, I think not. Maybe at best one line if say for a joke or off-hand comment, but I don't think it's relevant to the focus of this article.
Mentioning evolving Feebas is a frustrating and underexplained feature makes more sense, but the section for it should also cover the 3rd gen method (and 4th gen? needs checking), which requires near-maxing out
the Beauty stat.
I feel the structure needs some work still. For instance, in the RSE section you still mention the Trendy saying and only really explain what it is two paragraphs later, so it'll still be confusing for readers. Introduce one concept at a time.
I feel you could introduce the fact that things aren't explained earlier (within the RSE section, repeat in the DP section with a single sentence, and hence remove the current section 'no in-game explanation').
Commas and semicolon usage is something that does need work on (understandable given English isn't your first language and they're fiddly things. I was terrible with punctuation in dialogue myself when I first started fics).
There's a lot to be said on when commas should or shouldn't be used. Here's a handy tip that applies for most times though - use commas either to separate adjectives (descriptive words) (for example: "It was long, red, shiny, and also on fire."), listed items (e.g. "You should buy apples, oranges, and grapes."), and before one of the FANBOYS... FANBOYS being an acronym. ;p For, and, nor, but, or, yet, so. (E.g. "It was true, yet perhaps it wasn't, but really it was, so that made things confusing, or did it...?")
Unhelpfully you shouldn't
always do the above (e.g. I wouldn't put a comma for 'and' in "it is a tedious and monotonous process") - rather it should only happen when such words are used to split up different parts of the sentence. But the helpful bit is if you want to put a comma before a word in any other case (so not to separate adjectives/listed items/one of the FANBOYS), you probably shouldn't.
Sometimes it can be used for creating pauses too, but you seem to use it in places it doesn't quite fit in.
Semicolons are even less used typically. They really only should be used between two parts of a sentence which
could be written as two sentences (e.g. 'Some people write with a word processor; others write with a pen or pencil.'). Ideally you also only use a semicolon when these two parts on either side of it are related, or alternatively need to be contrasted.
Here's a guide with pictures on it.
Speaking of pictures, they'll need adding as well! If you're not sure we can suggest ones to use as well. Screenshots from the games would be useful.
Lastly, no need to use line breaks in the draft, as they won't be used in the Wordpress/final version of the article.
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Edits. Keeping some explanations brief in the interest of saving time/the above addresses some. Don't add in my '...' in the quotes, I just do that to lead in to the relevant part of the sentence. Often I'll just write what I think it should look like. Ask if you have any questions about any part below!
'Title' is the first article of 'Features to Improve' series. I believe I speak for most of us gamers, when I say that: We see the games developers as gods, why? Well, because they created something that we spent hours on and probably had a huge impact on…
I'd start this differently, e.g. "This is the first article of the "Features to Improve" series." There's no need to repeat the tite, and you shouldn't refer to it as, well, 'Title'.
The rest I'd reword as follows: "Many of us see the Pokémon game developers as gods. They've created something that we spend hours on, something that probably has had a huge impact on..." (etc).
But at the end of the day; they're just people like us, consequently unable to achieve perfection and that's where feedback plays its part.
Replace the semicolon with a comma, and add another comma after 'perfection'.
Add in a line at the end to properly explain what the article series will do, e.g. "Some features within the Pokémon games unfortunately end up flawed, so here we'll discuss these features and how they could be improved upon.
Feebas was first introduced in RSE, the third generation games; what makes Feebas unique are, the mechanics used to catch it.
'...introduced in Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald (RSE), the third generation games. Feebas is unique because of the game mechanics concerning how to catch it." (Don't use acronyms like RSE without first writing them in full in most cases).
Catching Feebas has been a real challenge; it is a tedious and monotonous process in which most people have given up really quickly, after attempting to catch the so desired Feebas.
"has been" --> "is", "...real challenge. It is a tedious and monotonous process which many people have given up upon very quickly.", and I would end the sentence there (and not use the following - already clear that is what you are talking about re: catching Feebas).
The fact, that the process is never explained in the game and that the mechanics aren't even hinted at, has lead me to wonder if this was essentially and purposefully made this way; to be for all intents and purposes, frustrating. Was this just a way of immersing the players into the game?
"The fact that the..." (no comma), "...in the game, and that the..." (added comma), "...made this way. Something which may have just been added to added more gameplay time and immerse the player ended up, for all intents and purposes, frustrating."
Let's review how the process has been altered within generations:
It is correct, but I'd just go with a full stop at the end instead of a colon [:] instead.
"Ruby, Sapphire & Emerald", as you formatted other titles like this. Furthermore, it should then also be "Diamond, Pearl and Platinum" for consistency.
The only way to catch Feebas was to fish with any rod in Route 119, but only on 6 out of 400 randomly generated tiles that changed whenever the trend word in Dewford Town changed. Does that sound hard enough? Well, that's not all! Feebas is not the only Pokémon you can encounter there, meaning that even if you were fishing in one of the right six tiles, you might not encounter it.
Some of you might be wondering: What is this about tiles? Basically, a tile is every square of pixel/data used in the game. Whenever you press one of the directional buttons, you move onto a new tile. Okay good, that's out of the way now.
As said in the general comments, this was hard to follow. I would change to the following:
The only way to catch Feebas was to fish with any rod in Route 119. This Route follows a long, winding river. However, you couldn't just fish anywhere for Feebas in this Route. There are 400 'tiles' (a position in the overworld - moving up, down, left or right results in moving to a different tile) making up the river. The problem is, only 6 out of 400 randomly generated tiles actually had Feebas in them!
Does that sound hard enough? Well, that's not all! Feebas is not the only Pokémon you can encounter there, meaning that even if you were fishing in one of the right six tiles, you might not encounter it. You had to try multiple times each tile to be sure.
You can manually change the Trendy Phrase in Dewford Town by talking to a boy outside Dewford Hall that re-randomizes the six tiles Feebas will be in, however. Not even this isn't hinted at, but changing the tiles is the last thing you want to do. It's better to stick with the same Trendy Phrase and look out for those tiles by trial and error.
Similarly, this needs further elaboration so you first introduce what the Trendy Phrase is, and then how it is related:
Where Feebas could be found was also bizarrely tied to a feature all the way on Dewford Island. On the island is a hall where Non-Playable Characters (NPCs) will repeat a 'Trendy Phrase'. You could change this Trendy Phrase by talking to a boy outside Dewford Hall. Doing this re-randomizes the six tiles Feebas will be in.
The really annoying part about these mechanics however is that the player would have no clue about it! The game doesn't hint that you can only find Feebas in six measly tiles in the Route, nor that the Trendy Phrase resets those tiles. If you ever want to catch Feebas in RSE, It's better to stick with the same Trendy Phrase and look out for those tiles by trial and error.
The main problem was that the 4 tiles are re-randomized every day, meaning that you had to make sure that you could spend all day trying to actually catch Feebas.
I'd go for 'four' rather than '4'. Numbers smaller than 100 should be written out as words, unless they are canonically done as numbers (e.g. Route 1), or in a statistic (e.g. 4 out of 800). Add in a line afterwards that this feature was also not explained in-game
.
Even if the fifth generation seems to be prominently underrated, the chances of finding Feebas were substantially improved.
I would remove the first part. I don't think gen 5 is actually underrated... and it doesn't really have much to do with Feebas either. "Luckily in the fifth generation games, the chances..."
Fishing on Route 1 with a super rod has a 5% chance to find Feebas, but…
Super Rod - capitalised like in the games.
Exclusively from the fifth generation, you can directly fish a Milotic.
"You can even fish and catch Feebas' evolution in Milotic, something that is exclusive in the 5th generation games."
Not only that, but during the daytime you have a 100% chance of finding Feebas underneath the bridge in Route 119; the same happens if you fish during night time around a rock in the south part of the route.
New sentences instead of the semicolon imo (...in Route 119. The same happens...").
See how the process gets easier?
Mention that ORAS are the RSE remakes either here or earlier as well.
