If Pokemon were in real life.
So, I've had this idea for a while. I've played tons of competitive and finished every main series game, so I would always call BS on stuff the anime decides to do. From Pikachu knocking out ground types with electric moves to thunder-armor Swellow, the anime always finds a way to annoy me with this kinda stuff. But one day I decided to humor the anime for a second, and treat it as something completely different from the games and remove any connection with it from the anime – and thus this idea came to be.
*This is super wordy so if you just wanna see the teams and the strategies I would use you can scroll all the way down. The purpose of this is only to get people to make their own teams all for the fun of it. *
Distinctions between the anime and the games:
- STAB isn't as important as it is in the games (there are tons of examples in the anime where mons don't have even a single STAB attacking move)
- Type matchups matter, but not nearly as much as they do in the games. (Sometimes a mon will tank multiple 4x effective moves without dropping)
- Priority moves seem to work pretty much as they do in the games, usually moving before other moves (Like ash's Infernape using mach punch)
- Aside from abilities, Pokemon tend to have little gimmicks they can do purely because of their biology. (Like Sylveon using its ribbon feelers to constrict foes, or Grapploct using its lack of bones to slither past attacks)
- Some moves see drastic visual and practical changes from one generation anime to the next (An example would be "Stone edge" which prior to gen 6, is just a barrage of tiny sharp stones, but later on becomes large spiky rock pillars that erupt from the ground)
- Pokemon tend to not use held items (either because it would make scenes too complicated, or that most Pokemon wouldn't practically be able to hold an item while fighting). Additionally, mega stones tend to be attached to the Pokemon using some sort of accessory.
- Status effects like poison not only drain the mon's health but seem to cripple their movement similar to paralysis. (Mons barely able to stand properly after being inflicted with poison)
Guidelines I'm following for my team:
- Held items and mega-evolutions are allowed as long as there's a practical way for the Pokemon to hold the corresponding items.
- Although hidden abilities have pretty much never explicitly been shown in the anime, I'm allowing use of hidden abilities for the sake of creativity with teams.
- The moves aren't chosen with a competitive play perspective in mind, but instead from a practical perspective of how these moves could be used in real life, where limits are far freer.
*Excuse the dumb titles I didn't know what to call em lol*
Speedy Debilitater
The main strategy: As stated before, priority moves do seem to work as they do in the games, usually moving first. Keeping that in mind, the idea is to use priority move after priority move until the foe gets poisoned via Poison Touch, debilitating them (hence the title). Once they're barely able to move, I finish off with Gunk Shot.
Physical Bombarder
The main strategy: Minior uses Shell Smash to smash its shell (haha) similar to how Cilan's Crustle breaks out of its shell. And once it has the speed and power boost, it uses Rollout to bombard the opponent rapidly, a little bit like Visquez's Magnet rise + Rollout Electrode in Ep 18 of Pokemon Journeys. Acrobatics is just another way to bombard foes, and Power gem is a useful projectile Minior can use in case it can't get close to the opponent.
Sneaky Special Bombarder
The main strategy: The idea here is to use Hail so Froslass can hide itself using Snow Cloak, and then using Double Team to create shadow clones that zoom around in the hail cloud. The clones use Will-o-Wisp to bait the opponent to attack the clones while the real one bombards with blizzards from behind. The Will-o-Wisp part prolly doesn't seem necessary but I didn't know what else to give it that wouldn't give away Froslass's position in the hail lol.
*Additional Note: Froslass is damn near impossible to detect by most Pokemon. Heightened hearing like Noivern? Can't expect to hear much of anything in the hail plus Froslass never touches to ground so no footsteps, and in general, it's a rather silent Pokemon. Eyesight is an obvious no, but what about mons with a strong sense of smell like Slurpuff? I'd imagine Froslass doesn't really smell like anything since it's a ghost. Though there are a couple of mons I think might be able to detect it like Luxray's X-ray vision, Lucario's aura sensing, or just mons with psychic powers in general.
Close quarters menace
The main strategy: As the title suggests, Machamp will be focusing on being in the opponent's face at all times. It would use Detect to dodge past enemy attacks and once it sees an opening in the opponent's defense, it'll counterattack with a Power-Up Punch, buffing Machamp every time it counterattacks. To make use of its Guts ability I would incorporate a Flame orb into its power belt. Darkest Lariat will not only be used to hit ghosts and psychics but also as a way to deflect incoming blows. Being in high-risk close quarters combat combined with Flame orb damage racking up, Machamp will unleash a mighty Reversal as one final move to finish the fight (Similar to Ash's Lucario in Journeys)
Defensive Reactor
The main strategy: Aggron will be taking a more defensive, reactive approach to battle, only attacking after the opponent has made its move first. Metal claw will be used to deflect or block physical attacks and to counter-attack, Aggron would do a 360 and use Iron Tail. Stone Edge will be used to block ranged attacks by erecting stone pillars from the ground and to counter attack, once again Iron Tail will be used to shatter the stone pillars to shoot stone shards at the opponents. Double Edge, although not really anything spectacular in competitive (nice damage but nothing mind-blowing about it), would likely be insanely powerful in real life. I'd imagine it would be damn near impossible to defend against an 800 pound all-steel rhino charging at you at sonic speeds.
*Additional note: Stone edge can also be used as good area control to limit movement for more mobile opponents by littering the field with stone pillars. It can also be used to create a straight path from Aggron to the opponent by creating walls of rock so that it's a straight line for Aggron to double edge through. Also, I imagine the Aggronite to be fashioned onto a band of sorts that is wrapped around its tail.
Special Bombarder
The main strategy: Last but not the least, the starter. Most of the Pokemon that I've included don't really have some special biological gimmick that gives them an edge aside from their abilities. Primarina is the one I've chosen to change that. Primarina happens to be very adept at making water balloons that are basically little grenades it can spit out at will. So, the idea is to use bubble beam to fill the field with said water grenades and then detonating them all at once using Hyper Voice for maximum destruction. Another option is to hold the opponent down using Psychic, and in the meantime building up one massive water balloon (with or without the Primarium Z) to smash into the enemy.
So that's the team I would likely use if Pokemon were real. I tried to follow the anime's logic as much as possible so that's my excuse for the funky sounding strategies. Feel free to make a team of your own, I would love to see your creativity.
So, I've had this idea for a while. I've played tons of competitive and finished every main series game, so I would always call BS on stuff the anime decides to do. From Pikachu knocking out ground types with electric moves to thunder-armor Swellow, the anime always finds a way to annoy me with this kinda stuff. But one day I decided to humor the anime for a second, and treat it as something completely different from the games and remove any connection with it from the anime – and thus this idea came to be.
*This is super wordy so if you just wanna see the teams and the strategies I would use you can scroll all the way down. The purpose of this is only to get people to make their own teams all for the fun of it. *
Distinctions between the anime and the games:
- STAB isn't as important as it is in the games (there are tons of examples in the anime where mons don't have even a single STAB attacking move)
- Type matchups matter, but not nearly as much as they do in the games. (Sometimes a mon will tank multiple 4x effective moves without dropping)
- Priority moves seem to work pretty much as they do in the games, usually moving before other moves (Like ash's Infernape using mach punch)
- Aside from abilities, Pokemon tend to have little gimmicks they can do purely because of their biology. (Like Sylveon using its ribbon feelers to constrict foes, or Grapploct using its lack of bones to slither past attacks)
- Some moves see drastic visual and practical changes from one generation anime to the next (An example would be "Stone edge" which prior to gen 6, is just a barrage of tiny sharp stones, but later on becomes large spiky rock pillars that erupt from the ground)
- Pokemon tend to not use held items (either because it would make scenes too complicated, or that most Pokemon wouldn't practically be able to hold an item while fighting). Additionally, mega stones tend to be attached to the Pokemon using some sort of accessory.
- Status effects like poison not only drain the mon's health but seem to cripple their movement similar to paralysis. (Mons barely able to stand properly after being inflicted with poison)
Guidelines I'm following for my team:
- Held items and mega-evolutions are allowed as long as there's a practical way for the Pokemon to hold the corresponding items.
- Although hidden abilities have pretty much never explicitly been shown in the anime, I'm allowing use of hidden abilities for the sake of creativity with teams.
- The moves aren't chosen with a competitive play perspective in mind, but instead from a practical perspective of how these moves could be used in real life, where limits are far freer.
*Excuse the dumb titles I didn't know what to call em lol*
Speedy Debilitater
The main strategy: As stated before, priority moves do seem to work as they do in the games, usually moving first. Keeping that in mind, the idea is to use priority move after priority move until the foe gets poisoned via Poison Touch, debilitating them (hence the title). Once they're barely able to move, I finish off with Gunk Shot.
Physical Bombarder
The main strategy: Minior uses Shell Smash to smash its shell (haha) similar to how Cilan's Crustle breaks out of its shell. And once it has the speed and power boost, it uses Rollout to bombard the opponent rapidly, a little bit like Visquez's Magnet rise + Rollout Electrode in Ep 18 of Pokemon Journeys. Acrobatics is just another way to bombard foes, and Power gem is a useful projectile Minior can use in case it can't get close to the opponent.
Sneaky Special Bombarder
The main strategy: The idea here is to use Hail so Froslass can hide itself using Snow Cloak, and then using Double Team to create shadow clones that zoom around in the hail cloud. The clones use Will-o-Wisp to bait the opponent to attack the clones while the real one bombards with blizzards from behind. The Will-o-Wisp part prolly doesn't seem necessary but I didn't know what else to give it that wouldn't give away Froslass's position in the hail lol.
*Additional Note: Froslass is damn near impossible to detect by most Pokemon. Heightened hearing like Noivern? Can't expect to hear much of anything in the hail plus Froslass never touches to ground so no footsteps, and in general, it's a rather silent Pokemon. Eyesight is an obvious no, but what about mons with a strong sense of smell like Slurpuff? I'd imagine Froslass doesn't really smell like anything since it's a ghost. Though there are a couple of mons I think might be able to detect it like Luxray's X-ray vision, Lucario's aura sensing, or just mons with psychic powers in general.
Close quarters menace
The main strategy: As the title suggests, Machamp will be focusing on being in the opponent's face at all times. It would use Detect to dodge past enemy attacks and once it sees an opening in the opponent's defense, it'll counterattack with a Power-Up Punch, buffing Machamp every time it counterattacks. To make use of its Guts ability I would incorporate a Flame orb into its power belt. Darkest Lariat will not only be used to hit ghosts and psychics but also as a way to deflect incoming blows. Being in high-risk close quarters combat combined with Flame orb damage racking up, Machamp will unleash a mighty Reversal as one final move to finish the fight (Similar to Ash's Lucario in Journeys)
Defensive Reactor
The main strategy: Aggron will be taking a more defensive, reactive approach to battle, only attacking after the opponent has made its move first. Metal claw will be used to deflect or block physical attacks and to counter-attack, Aggron would do a 360 and use Iron Tail. Stone Edge will be used to block ranged attacks by erecting stone pillars from the ground and to counter attack, once again Iron Tail will be used to shatter the stone pillars to shoot stone shards at the opponents. Double Edge, although not really anything spectacular in competitive (nice damage but nothing mind-blowing about it), would likely be insanely powerful in real life. I'd imagine it would be damn near impossible to defend against an 800 pound all-steel rhino charging at you at sonic speeds.
*Additional note: Stone edge can also be used as good area control to limit movement for more mobile opponents by littering the field with stone pillars. It can also be used to create a straight path from Aggron to the opponent by creating walls of rock so that it's a straight line for Aggron to double edge through. Also, I imagine the Aggronite to be fashioned onto a band of sorts that is wrapped around its tail.
Special Bombarder
The main strategy: Last but not the least, the starter. Most of the Pokemon that I've included don't really have some special biological gimmick that gives them an edge aside from their abilities. Primarina is the one I've chosen to change that. Primarina happens to be very adept at making water balloons that are basically little grenades it can spit out at will. So, the idea is to use bubble beam to fill the field with said water grenades and then detonating them all at once using Hyper Voice for maximum destruction. Another option is to hold the opponent down using Psychic, and in the meantime building up one massive water balloon (with or without the Primarium Z) to smash into the enemy.
So that's the team I would likely use if Pokemon were real. I tried to follow the anime's logic as much as possible so that's my excuse for the funky sounding strategies. Feel free to make a team of your own, I would love to see your creativity.
