Sheltering Children

So since Halloween is around the corner there's a lot of spooky stuff around, but I have overheard people talking and there are some parents who don't even let their children go trick-or-treating, not because of the sugar, but because Halloween is too scary for them.

What kinds of things should be kept hidden from kids, and up to what age? Are we helping or stunting children by sheltering them from scary or uncomfortable things or does it not matter in the end because everyone grows up and learns about all the dark and bad things in the world?

Some schools here are changing Halloween into "Black and Orange" day to be more-inclusive, to whoever Halloween somehow excludes that I can't think of. No costumes, no candy. So much fun @_@

So, that's another level. Not just "scary"

Halloween never excluded anyone - Hallow's Eve, on the other hand, which it was based off of...sort of did. But back in those days, irreligion wasn't really a thing. Hallow's Day - Nov 1 - is meant to be a day where the spiritual and magical are of high power. So, all religions benefited from it - yes, even Christianity. Hallow's Eve was changed to Halloween and started being used as a recognition of the old ways - the fear of the old ways meshed with it, and so it became a holiday for the recognition of fear and was used by people to test their fears. It also was meant to strengthen the effects of Hallow's Day, which some people still practice (like Wiccans).

But, like Christmas, it doesn't exclude anyone in the modern day. This is why religious holidays have dual bases - Christmas is about giving and receiving, with Santa representing the act of giving...and receiving. St. Valentine's Day was done in commemoration of a saint that was brutally killed (I believe) on that day. Appalled, the people that saw it turned it into a day of love and compassion - so that such an event wouldn't happen on that day again. Now, it represents love in all its forms, for anyone and everyone.


The change of Christmas to "the Holiday Season" made sense. The destruction of a holiday, on the other hand, makes no sense. Especially if that holiday is Thanksgiving, which has bloody NO religious background AT ALL, and yes - it's banned in some places here in the U.S. Dumba**es in government, I swear >.>

I believe children shouldn't be sheltered from Halloween at all at any age. Halloween helps kids grow thicker skin and teaches them to separate fantasy from reality.

TRIFORCE89 said:

Some schools here are changing Halloween into "Black and Orange" day to be more-inclusive, to whoever Halloween somehow excludes that I can't think of. No costumes, no candy. So much fun @_@

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I'd guess it would be the strictly religious families who don't want their kids exposed to secular/pagan/etc.

From my own personal experience it's the very religious among people who tend to want to shelter their kids from anything scary or just anything about the world. I had neighbors who wouldn't let their kids watch The Lion King because, well, I don't know exactly why, but they were certainly old enough that I wondered.

Darkroman said:

I believe children shouldn't be sheltered from Halloween at all at any age. Halloween helps kids grow thicker skin and teaches them to separate fantasy from reality.

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Really? Because it helped me fuse fantasy and reality 0.0

So now, whenever a giant arachnid drops down from the sky and starts eating people, I can say, "Called it."

Seriously, though, Halloween is about understanding that anything can happen - that we should not be ignorant, for we fear what we DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Unfortunately, you have these parents AIDING ignorance, and the Idiocracy grows!

Where I live we don't celebrate Halloween that much. I think children are becoming more and more sheltered, I met some kids around 6 or 7 None of them new what a hand shake was. I gel eve I was very sheltered and I consciously new about it since when my parents didn't explain certain things with an excuse and I was just testing the waters with it because I knew what it was I was asking.

Halloween being scary? Really if Halloween is scary then push therm into it teach 'em to be brave.nothing makes you feel alive sprinting through the woods on a onre way path with someone running after you. (My friend decided to do that on a halloween, I was more scared of what was in the woods then what was chasing me)

Modern Halloween is so disconnected from religion and horror as a child. It's as scary or religious as you make it. I think a lot of parents forget to look through their childs point of view, who only see it as dressing up, excitement, and most of all the free candy.

Using Halloweens history and no longer existing religous aspect as an excuse to shelter children when Thanksgiving (a holiday with arguably the SCARIEST history) is welcomed and happily celebrated the next month is really ignorant and hypocritical.

Horror and gore films and such are obviously a good idea to keep from kids, on another note, I believe.

By the way, I feel SO bad for kids these days that have to Trick-or-Treat at noon in broad daylight. Why are we telling our kids to be afraid of their neighbours?

Sure some things about Halloween are scary, but that's the point. Kids should be exposed to scary things. I grew up with two older siblings who constantly tried to freak me out and scare me. When I was just a kid, I thought it was, of course, mean; but as I grew up, I realized that most of the things that frightened me in the past were fake and that there was truly nothing to be scared of. Being Afraid is perfectly acceptable. Refusing to get over your fears is not. This is why I believe that children should be exposed to 'scary' things. Not to upset them, but to expose them to scary things so that they can learn that fear can be overcome, no matter what.

Rezilia said:

Really? Because it helped me fuse fantasy and reality 0.0

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Before I say anything, were you serious? lol

Darkroman said:

Before I say anything, were you serious? lol

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Yes. Completely.

I find myself often shocked at how gullible people are when they accept "that's how real life works" or "that isn't reality". All this shows is a closed mind. People are so wrapped up in their own situations and the "truths" they have been force-fed, that they don't consider other possibilities.

I do. I didn't "get over" my fears by claiming they weren't real - I believed in their validity and sought to UNDERSTAND those fears. That's the difference - I approached it with an open mind. In the present day, so few do...

Rezilia said:

Yes. Completely.

I find myself often shocked at how gullible people are when they accept "that's how real life works" or "that isn't reality". All this shows is a closed mind. People are so wrapped up in their own situations and the "truths" they have been force-fed, that they don't consider other possibilities.

I do. I didn't "get over" my fears by claiming they weren't real - I believed in their validity and sought to UNDERSTAND those fears. That's the difference - I approached it with an open mind. In the present day, so few do...

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hmm, true.

also I've never experienced Halloween. i don't really think you have to censor anything about. though i understand why people do. Don't want your child to get scare and all.

Also, there are some religious "communities" (for a lack of a better word) that participate and celebrate it in there own way.

The blunt fact: Most parents are too stupid to raise kids, while those who actually know how to raise kids well are rarely ever parents.

This happens for one major reason, when someone understands what raising a kid is like, they tend to not want to go through it. Riding on the coattails of that point, the biggest danger to kids are their parents, in every aspect even. One of the dangers is the helicopter parent. Sure, it sounds so great, protecting your kid from all harm and risk, it is a good intention but executed horribly. That child will have to face the rest of the world, and all the dangers in it, at some point no matter how protective you are. Those kind of parents are stunting the child, keeping them unprepared for the dangers when they become adults, as well as secretly encouraging them to take risks that a child who's scraped a knee or two will avoid.

I love Halloween, and will always love it, not because of the pageantry and gifts of sugary goodness for kids, but because it offers the perfect way to teach a child how to approach strangers. No lighting, do not approach, teaching a valuable lesson about knowing what you're getting into. The scary costumes, or hidden faces of people they probably know already (or should), teaches them not to judge by appearances. Taking them out at night teaches them nighttime safety, carrying lights and wearing reflective gear. But what makes these lessons more valuable than in a typical setting? They're getting a reward for learning them, so it sticks in their heads more.

Even I remember the "rules for trick-or-treating" messages from teachers and other adults while I was young.

My post will be short and simple. Halloween is an experience I admired completely as a kid. It let me embrace my inner fantasy side :3 And when I think of the many joys of my childhood, Halloween is one. I never got scared, but I personally am difficult to scare. Heck, I'm nineteen and still go trick or treating o.o I think most people would be upset when they realized they missed out on Halloween due to overprotective parents, when they get older. I know I would.

Absurd. I'm not sure whether you mean too scary as in ghosts and goblins are a scary thing or if you mean too scary as in there are bad people in the world but either one is just... absurd.

The stuff around Halloween isn't all that scary to begin with, but some of the stuff that's actually scary is, at worst, going to freak your kid out for a while. Big deal. They'll get over it; coming to terms with and acknowledging your fears is a part of growing up that everyone needs to do at some point.

And as for there being bad people... so what? There are bad people any time of the year. If you're worried about having your kids going door to door, then go along with them. Most kids could benefit from a bit more time with their parents as it is. If you're worried about razor blades in candy or whatever, then break it all in half before you let your kid eat it or something. Halloween is a fun thing for kids to do, so what if you need to do a little bit of extra work? Deal with it; you're a parent, responsibility is part of the game.

The question for most parents isn't so much if they should finally expose their children so much as what the right age to do so is. Honestly, that's a tough question to figure out an answer to, and the answer probably varies. Obviously a 4 year old just wouldn't be ready to hear about something like genocide. Exposing a child to the world is something that probably needs to be done in stages. It's simply wrong to brick wall a child from everything unpleasant until they're around 16 and then just open the floodgates.

Halloween, on the other hand, is basically a children's holiday. Skeletons and ghosts aren't extremely scary to most children. The Halloween movie, on the other hand, would probably cause nightmares. I can't think of anything truly scary about Halloween that kids should be sheltered from.

Scarf said:

I'd guess it would be the strictly religious families who don't want their kids exposed to secular/pagan/etc.

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This amused me, because my family is quite religious and some of my earliest memories were of going out and trick-or-treating. Also, two different churches I attended when I was younger had this public event called trunk-or-treat where a bunch of people would show up, park in the parking lot, and decorate the trunk of their car and hand out candy. So I basically got a ton of candy from actual trick-or-treating and then even more candy from church. It was awesome.

I'm engaged now, and I'm the one super excited about celebrating Halloween with our kids whereas my fiencée doesn't like it at all. I'm a Christian and she's an atheist. XD That being said, I think peoples' opinions vary widely based on what they grew up with. I definitely can see where she's coming from with how violent the holiday often is (bloody decorations, nooses, sundry weapons, etc.). She can definitely get behind lots of candy. XD

Regarding the topic at hand, parenting is very difficult. Every kid is different and every parent is going to have different ideas about what is and is not appropriate. I don't think it's necessarily as cut-and-dry as "all kids should celebrate Halloween." As pokemonleaguechamp said, exposure should probably be done in stages, which is a good rule for parenting in general.

You shouldn't pretend to tear your heart out in front of a five year old, or try to give your son a heart attack, but besides extremes, no, children shouldn't be sheltered from scary things. It's an "enter at your own risk" sort of thing. If they don't wanna trick or treat, so be it.
There is a lot of stuff children should be sheltered from though, but that seems irrelevant here.

Ultramarine said:

You shouldn't pretend to tear your heart out in front of a five year old, or try to give your son a heart attack, but besides extremes, no, children shouldn't be sheltered from scary things. It's an "enter at your own risk" sort of thing. If they don't wanna trick or treat, so be it.
There is a lot of stuff children should be sheltered from though, but that seems irrelevant here.

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Yeah, they should be sheltered from religion as a whole.