The Plot Bunny Thread

Then you could still use your idea.

Or for another idea, have some medicine in a different place that the nurse needs, and it's Paul who offers to go get it. That way, it's not completely like what happened in the show when they were at Viridian City. (Since there is an episode where medicine had to be transferred by Ash and friends.)

Konekodemon said:

And my point is I'm trying to show readers that deep down inside even though Paul can be a jerk sometimes, he does really care about people and Pokemon.

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There's definitely alternate ways of doing this, yes. Part of his training methods within the show imply that he actually cares about his Pokémon (which is why the stronger ones like Torterra put up with him); it's just that he doesn't have much patience with anything he thinks is needy (like Chimchar). It might be a good idea to ask yourself how what he does now (in canon) shows what he thinks about Pokémon and then go from there, rather than explore an idea that might sound a bit on the it's-been-done side. (I mean, sure, you just went over the fact that Team Rocket isn't attacking the center, but the entire "loss of power + sick patients = bad times" isn't exactly a new idea in general. You'll also avoid making him seem softer than he really is while forcing the reader to look at what he does on the show in a completely different light -- because you're basically showing the Paul we've been seeing, rather than a secret Paul we've never met, if that makes sense.)

Astinus said:

Then you could still use your idea.

Or for another idea, have some medicine in a different place that the nurse needs, and it's Paul who offers to go get it. That way, it's not completely like what happened in the show when they were at Viridian City. (Since there is an episode where medicine had to be transferred by Ash and friends.)

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That's a good idea. And what if it wasn't a Pokemon but actually Kairi that was hurt. You never see humans being hurt very badly on Pokemon.

Konekodemon said:

I'm confused about my Pokemon Adventures story. I don't know what should happen when Paul and Kairi get to the Viridian City Pokemon center. I don't want it to be what happened on the show. My sister suggested that the Center loses power and there's a Pokemon that's real sick and could die if power isn't returned soon. And Kairi and Paul help Nurse Joy treat it. Is that a good idea? Would Paul really do something like this?

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No. Personally, I don't think so. Paul is so apathetic that he'd probably just say 'Well, if it's so weak that it gets sick/injured so easily, it's not worth saving.' Remember, that's his logic - if it's not strong, give it the boot.

Regardless, it could be a good opportunity for a little character development - even if he doesn't end up helping to save the Pokemon, he could be forced to think a little bit about how he treats other people and Pokemon.

Just remember to keep Jax's advice in mind. Like I said, the transferring of medicine has been done before, like the power being cut from the Center. If you're worried about doing something that's been done before, then perhaps Paul getting the medicine for a Pokemon or for a human wouldn't be the best way to go.

I can't believe that I skipped over this advice, but take a look at Paul through the course of the anime. Figure out which stage of his character you want to write about (him as a possible abusive trainer? Or later, when his character is more understood?) and take a look at how the anime writers handle him. That way, you'll understand the basis of his character and use that to explore him even deeper in your story.

So ask yourself if the Paul you're writing about is at the stage where he's willing to help someone who got hurt, especially if Kairi got hurt through her own fault (because that will make her seem "weak" in his eyes). If he does decide to help her, then work out the reasons why he will through what you know about his character from the show and through what you could add in your story. Like, why would he change an important part of his personality to help this girl? Make sure the reason's a believable one for Paul to use, because you don't want to treat Kairi like she's so special Paul will completely change for her.

So, I'll say study Paul in the anime. Look at how he treats the other characters in the show and how he acts. Everything about him that you can see. That way, as was said, you'll be giving more insight into the Paul character that readers are used to from the anime, not a new character who looks like Paul but isn't really him.

But what if it wasn't Kairi's own fault she got hurt? What if it was Paul's fault she got hurt? Then he'd probably help her cause he'd feel guilty about it.

Konekodemon said:

But what if it wasn't Kairi's own fault she got hurt? What if it was Paul's fault she got hurt? Then he'd probably help her cause he'd feel guilty about it.

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I would still think Paul might see her as weak and not admit it's his fault. Again, with that kind of situation you don't want to make it seem as if Paul will completely change for her, as Astinus said.

I think its one of those situations where he'd help if there's no one else around to help but he wouldn't like it and would complain about it later.

Konekodemon said:

I think its one of those situations where he'd help if there's no one else around to help but he wouldn't like it and would complain about it later.

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I'm going to be blunt and say just write it however you want, Koneko. Four different people have offered tips about characterization. If you're going to reply by telling us that you're going to make it work despite what we say we know about Paul (and incidentally, there's no evidence in the anime that would say he would act any differently if no one was around), then you probably won't get much out of this thread. :/

My Book, Drylor The First Artifact

Hey everyone, this section is for our own creations so I would like to share my most recent one! I just recently got my second book published this month, Drylor The First Artifact. It is about a man that suffers amnesia and as he slowly regains his memory he finds out that his brother has gone hay-wire and has started killing mass amounts of innocent people. Drylor The First Artifact is my second book but the very first I've wrote in the fantasy genre.

I'd like some opinions on what everyone thinks about it so below is what the back of the book says, I am curious if it perks your interests at all and if you saw it in a store if you would pick it up and buy it or put it back on the shelf.

When a man wakes up inside a cage that is being carried through
an underground city, he has no idea where he is or what has
happened to him. As Von, a victim of amnesia, is taken to a jail
cell to await his fate amongst elves, humans, dwarfs, gnomes, and
halflings, he is told he is a member of the Royal Guard of Genisus.
It is not long before he is transported to the palace where he
meets an impatient king who eventually returns him to his jail
cell while deciding his destiny.

As Von's memory slowly returns, he discovers that he is the only
one who can protect Drylor—a world that abandoned him—
from its greatest evil, his own brother. Through his journey to the
truth, Von meets an unlikely group of friends who are willing
to sacrifice everything to help him stop his brother Scarlet
from annihilating the only world they have ever known.

As Von's past becomes clear and reveals his future, he soon
realizes the only way he can end his brother's heartless
massacres is to find him and kill him.

Is this fully written or not? You say that it's published, but would still like opinions on how the plot sounds. So I'm not sure if you're actually looking for opinions on the plot to change it, or if you're just advertising your book to gain readers. Because on a quick Google search, it seems like you're just joining every forum that you can, posting a thread like this, and then leaving.

Still, plot ideas go into the Plot Bunny thread, so this will be moved over there.

JX Valentine said:

I'm going to be blunt and say just write it however you want, Koneko. Four different people have offered tips about characterization. If you're going to reply by telling us that you're going to make it work despite what we say we know about Paul (and incidentally, there's no evidence in the anime that would say he would act any differently if no one was around), then you probably won't get much out of this thread. :/

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But, I am. I'm just saying what I think as well.

Konekodemon said:

But, I am. I'm just saying what I think as well.

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And that would be fine. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions about different characters.

However, your original question was asking whether or not your ideas would work. People are answering that question by telling you things that you should watch out for in order to make it work. (Namely, they're saying that Paul isn't like this in canon and that there's no reason to believe he would act any differently off the camera compared to how he acts on. Because of that, it probably won't work, especially because Paul is a very recognizable and popular character with a personality a lot of fans are familiar with.) Your opinions are stating that you'll make the fic work despite the advice people are giving you. Therefore, there doesn't seem to be much else we can tell you because the way Paul is written is pretty much the one thing that could make or break your idea. So, yeah, you might as well just write it however you feel like tackling it.

Help Me!!!

I've been writing Fan Fiction for almost two years now. But I've never written a Pokemon story, but I just got an idea for a Pokemon and Kim Possible crossover story. Does this sound like a stupid idea please tell me?

Merging with the Plot Bunny thread as that's where fic idea feedback and all ought to go.

On paper it could be a good fic but it's really hard to say any more than that due to the lack of information. =p (E.g. would it be done seriously or as a comedy, what format would it be (one shot, chaptered, etc) and so forth - stuff mentioned in the first post really). Depends how you go about it really.

I plan on it being a chapter story with some comedy and drama elements.

But how do the two worlds cross together and what does the actual plot entail? I'll admit that I've written my own crossovers just because I wanted to see the two canons collide, but only one of them actually works for two reasons: I can get the characters together easily, and there a plot to go along with it.

How would Kim Possible and the Pokemon world cross together? I'm very foggy on Kim Possible canon, so... But I mean you could write absolute crack fic and just have KP wake up to find Pokemon everywhere, and her mission is to find out why. Or something like that.

Take your crossover idea as "What would happen if Kim Possible and Pokemon were combined?" and go from there. Come up with stories and situations for the characters to get involved in and have to resolve. Then once you have a plot in mind, you can ask us how it'll work. Because right now we don't have any information because really, any crossover can possibly work.

I really thinking about really using her brothers as the main characters. Seeing that they are tech wizs. I was going to have them find a dsi laying around that has a copy Heart Gold in it. They are going to play for a little while and then get bored with it. So then they will decide to bring a Pokemon to life. Then that when Kim Possible would come into play.
Because they bring to life HO-HO and its cause havoc in Middleton.


Thanks you guys for the feedback. It really is helping.

A Fan Fiction Series - Need Comments on Story!

Start: My Life Story

Around a month ago, I had a due date for a form for a course I picked for my next school year, Co-op Education. I went serious on the 3 choices I put on my form, since I was going to be interviewed soon. I picked Animator, Screenwriter, and Music Video Editor.

I make flash animations with Maplestory characters, thanks to the character simulator, Bannedstory, and I have been since I turned 12. I wish to get a career that benefits me as a person, and as a Maplestory movie maker. That's why I broke it into the specific careers above.

All my life, I was trying to express my imagination to the world. I noticed after I overheard my mom talking to someone a few years ago. Even before making maple videos, I've been doing childish things, such as making the first chapter of a novel (Monster Mysteries :3 ).

I have a wild imagination, and it builds up every time I'm alone or taking stroll outside. It's because of this that I decided screenwriting. I wish to express my imagination through creating the screenplays to shows and stuff.

-----------
That's where this forum post comes from. The best way to start a career is to get experience prior to actually having one. It started with these stories I do in English. I've never left 9/10s since the beginning of the semester, and I've been getting 10/10s ever since my first 10/10. (Coincidentally the first 10/10 happened after my Co-op form) :D

Currently, I'm auditioning for a community production team on youtube, who make Maplestory videos. I'm giving myself a two week deadline from yesterday to make a video idea that I will never be able to animate myself.

Now we get to the point of the forum post.

End: My Life Story

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I had a secondary pokemon series in mind, but I know I will never get anywhere with it in my head, so I'm going to start a fan-fiction. It's based on a slightly older audience than the Ash&Pikachu trilogy, a rating of about 14+. I thought of it this way, because a big population of pokemon fans are only fans of the games, because the show today is too "corny". It seems like a genius idea, because the pokemon world is very well known, and an older audience is all you need for bigger production. :)

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My series starts with a 15 year old boy, along with an Emolga. A new technology has been developed, and it's been in production as a civilization project for pokemon. The technology is a device that allows pokemon to speak the human language. It had to be safely tested, so only select pokemon get to try it. Only one thing was missing, they needed a normal pokemon to try it out, and not some G.I. Joe trained professional.

The boy turns 16, and he's desperate to get some worth in his life. He decides to take his childhood friends, Emolga and two other humans - male and female - on a journey. Their local professor felt these were the perfect people to take the test, especially since they were 16. (The female would most likely seem to still be 15)

The boy is already in possession of Emolga, so he just had to receive his pokeball. The other two get their starters. They then get introduced to the new technology, and their pokemon were taken to the lab and technical work was done to be able to speak. The characters get funny feelings when they first experience conversations with talking pokemon. :D

Here's where the higher rating comes in; before they start their journey, a secret organization raids the lab. (I thought it would be nice to have one of the antagonists as a dewott with dual razor shells. He could dress like a mix of the new Team Rocket designs and Cad Bane from Star Wars: The Clone Wars.)

The evil organization wishes to use the same technology used to give pokemon the human language, to control their minds. They cause a mini war at the lab, and the characters get caught in it.

Once it's over, and the pokemon at the lab protect themselves, the protagonists begin their journey. (Other than emolgas, grovyles are my second favorite pokemon, so I gave this part to him) The heroes are required to take a highly skilled grovyle with them, so they can be protected from ambushes like the previous one. (Grovyle would eventually take ownership of the main character)

The heroes then become vulnerable targets, considering they are travelling. This creates the conflict you see throughout the series.

As Emolga finally polishes his battle skills, the heroes meet, catch and train other pokemon, while at the same time, fend themselves from the evil forces that try to abduct their pokemon for research.

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention; what if I said that Emolga, Grovyle, and such talking pokemon were wearing clothes. It would make more sense to me that with civilization, comes society. :)

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Tell me what you think about this series. I'm sorry for too much about myself, but I'd thought it would be nice to tell everyone about myself before I get started on my objective.

I'll move this to the Plot Bunny thread if you want feedback on the story summary then.

A few thoughts that came to mind when glancing over the summary:

Only one thing was missing, they needed a normal pokemon to try it out, and not some G.I. Joe trained professional.

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Why is this, curiously? That, and

Their local professor felt these were the perfect people to take the test, especially since they were 16. (The female would most likely seem to still be 15)

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That seems rather... odd that they're especially good because they are 16 (which sounds a bit creepy) - why this age?

The evil organization wishes to use the same technology used to give pokemon the human language, to control their minds.

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I also wonder if the technology before this happened had any sort of mine control in it or just simply interpreted their 'language' to english... that and what makes up this organisation - just dewotts dressed up as TR for an unknown reason or people as well, etc? Also why are the protagonists allowed to leave like that and leave themselves open to further attacks instead of, say, the lab people contacting the police for protection?

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention; what if I said that Emolga, Grovyle, and such talking pokemon were wearing clothes. It would make more sense to me that with civilization, comes society

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This is also confusing - what does the technology actually do then? At first I thought it would allow them to speak english and I'm not sure how that necessarily jumps into making them 'civilised' (and arguably they already have their own 'language' in some canons) and hence why they'd want to wear clothes as well. Sounds rather vague and confusing - I'd suggest considering more on what this exactly does and how it works (you'd have to be able to make it seem realistic if you went with them wanting to wear clothes imo as it seems a bit hard for me to believe atm).