[Other Original] I'm Not a Child, Not Yet an Adult

So, this is kind of an older story I've been trying to work on. I've only been able to get the first chapter done so far. It's a hard one to work on for me because the MC is sort of relatable to me. I'm not saying she's like me or anything. I thrive on making my characters different from myself for risk of them being Mary Sues. :| Keep in mind too, that I don't usually post here... but I'm going to try again since it might be worth it this time.

I hope you find it enjoyable.

Let me know if you see any typos. I don't really like to edit my own work because I have a habit of hating it and starting over... odd writer's quirk I guess. ><


Chapter 1: Coming of Age

The hard part about turning eighteen years old was being unprepared. I had no idea how to act like an adult because no one ever taught me. This made my life rather difficult since I was at an age where everything was going away. The things that were part of my everyday routine were about to change. This would be very challenging, considering my insistence on sameness too. I just wasn't ready to be an adult, and I had a feeling I never would be for a while.

Mom had decided to throw me a small party for turning eighteen, saying what a huge milestone it was. It included many of our family and a few of our friends. I didn't like parties and never liked celebrating my birthdays either, not even as a young child. It was always so overwhelming for me to deal with each time. I sat there on the couch while rocking slowly back and forth. She came in to fill the snack tray and noticed me inside the house.

"You should be out there having fun. I suggest you go out there and mingle with some of your guests," she said to me with a disappointing scowl.

"It's too overwhelming for me," I told her while avoiding her eye contact this time. "Why do you even bother trying to throw me parties?" I asked but realized she had already gone outside again.

There was really no point in doing what she said because I knew my limits and triggers. Mom was the type of person who didn't try to understand me even a little. I was often pushed into certain situations because of her too, which just seemed to distress me more. I often wished she would have a little more empathy for someone like me, but that would never happen.

"I'm not going to tell you again," she said as she poked her head inside. "You better come out here and start enjoying your birthday party now," she demanded me, but I exhaled softly.

It wasn't long until I ventured out into the backyard. The first thing test caught my attention was the indistinct chatter among the guests. Soft music also played at the same time, and the sun shone rather brightly as it hung high in the deep blue sky. I felt as if everything was getting louder and brighter, causing me to cover my ears while closing my eyes.

I plopped myself onto the ground then rocked myself vigoursly back and forth. This caught the attention of all the guests with their chatter now focused on me. I didn't really care what they were saying or how they reacted, seeing as my brain had shutdown. I did my best to block everything out, but I ended up sobbing instead. Maybe this would make Mom understand that this was a bad idea from the very start.

"This is not how you act at a party, Destiny…" she scolded me, which only increased my panic. "Start acting more like an adult and less like a child," she scowled and crossed her arms in disgust.

I repeated my actions over and over without stopping. It must have gone on for a half an hour because she had eventually gotten everyone to go home. I didn't really have much concept towards time, but I realized it once coming back to reality again. My mind had come back to life like a computer after rebooting and resuming its tasks. Mom shot an angry glare in my direction, causing me to avoid her eye contact.

"Why can't you be like everyone else in this world?" she began yelling at me. "I can't believe you went and embarrassed me like that," she threw up her hands with sudden disappointment.

I went back inside while she took care of the mess outside. I had to get away from her because my anger was getting the best of me right now. I didn't understand why she was punishing me for something beyond my control. This was what always happened where she would pin it on me. It was often my fault for not acting normal, and I hated that about her.

"Hey sweetie," Daddy said upon entering the living room. "Is everything okay with you?" he tilted his head when I plopped angrily onto the couch.

"Your daughter had one of her tantrums at her own birthday party. She didn't want to come inside, and when she finally did, she threw a fit in front of her guests," Mom explained once she came into the house.

"Are you sure? You know she gets overwhelmed by her surroundings as well," Daddy said, suddenly confused by her over the top explanation. "I'm sure that's what really happened," he nodded, but she just scoffed and dumped everything right into the sink.

I continued to scowl while looking away from them. My arms were crossed as I began rocking myself again. It felt like a volcano was about to explode in my mind. Anymore sudden triggers, and it would blow it's top for sure. The worst part was not knowing how to control my emotions, seeing as they got in the way a lot.

"Don't worry too much about her, okay? I know you didn't mean to," Daddy smiled before I looked away again.

"You make it sound easy," I sighed and tried to calm down. "She needs to know that she'll never get a perfect daughter out of me," I told him once my mind settled some.

It's not like I didn't want to be normal or anything like that. I just found it harder to function around other people, and Mom's behavior didn't help matters. I wanted her to accept me for who I was, but she continued to make me life a constant living hell. It was difficult enough turning eighteen years old because there was so much to learn. I knew it would be a while before realizing what an adult was really like for me. Would I ever function the same way most adults usually do?

I really like this story ;A; I can sort of relate to it? i look forward to the next chapter!

I can relate too. I'm socially awkward, and I hate my mother. Then again, I can save face like an international spy/poker player, and I wish her dead, so, not to empathetic? XDDDDD

A few notes on grammar. First, allow me to make a distinction or two:

Everyday = Always

Every day = Every day

Anymore = Further

Any more = Any more

Both instances made me irk, as the space in between, or its absence, makes quite the difference. And then there's this:

"Your daughter had one of her tantrums at her own birthday party. She didn't want to come inside, and when she finally did, she threw a fit in front of her guests,"

Click to expand...

Inside, or outside? I'm confused.

But out of most stories here, this one seems to be mostly grounded in reality. That scores points with me. I myself have trouble doing so, being super creative and over-imaginative, to the point that some designs for a video game I once hoped to create were compared to Pokémon, Kirby, and Zelda characters... I blame my heavy tuna diet... what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, one more thing! The dialogue; everyone speaking seems to possess quite the developed vocabulary. Do all characters have an educated lexicon? Doesn't anyone speak a bit more simple? If all characters speak just like the author does, then it's a sign of weakness in the realm of characterizing one's speech pattern. Or maybe I'm wrong, and these are all just high-class White people. XP

Anyway, nice first chapter. One thing I would've done is have Destiny take the second or third paragraph be one wherein she introduces herself to us, the audience. We don't know everything she does, so it would've helped quite a lot. Even Katniss Everdeen does it... to the point of madness in the third book, but at least we won't forget her name. XD

Keep it up! I may just subscribe to this diddy.