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Old September 27th, 2017 (4:13 AM). Edited September 27th, 2017 by She.
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    If example you confessed your love to a person and he/she say ," Let's be friend first?". What does this mean in your point of view?
    (P/S: You guys are already friend but not quite long)
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    Old September 27th, 2017 (4:30 AM).
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    To me it means they don't want to rush into a relationship, which is a smart choice. If you get to know the person, you'll be able to see if they're really a good match for you.
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    Old September 27th, 2017 (4:35 AM).
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      I personally don't mind it and I'd still be friends.
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      Old September 27th, 2017 (5:25 AM). Edited September 27th, 2017 by Nah.
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by FlakyGuy View Post
        I personally don't mind it and I'd still be friends.
        Will you confess to her/him again after a long moment?

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Zafira View Post
        To me it means they don't want to rush into a relationship, which is a smart choice. If you get to know the person, you'll be able to see if they're really a good match for you.
        I agree with that, we have to build trust for each other first to convince your partner. That's one of the secret to a long lasting relationship.
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        Old September 27th, 2017 (5:28 AM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Home View Post
          Will you confess to her/him again after a long moment?
          After I've given them time to think about it sure.
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          Old September 27th, 2017 (5:32 AM).
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            Quote:
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            After I've given them time to think about it sure.
            yesss <3
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            Old September 27th, 2017 (6:11 AM).
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              Is there really a difference, while you're getting to know someone? It's going to be pretty clear if they are just a friend or a significant other.

              Playing into the long game, it'll suck to be in love with a good friend who doesn't feel the same way.
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              Old September 27th, 2017 (6:39 AM).
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                Quote:
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                Is there really a difference, while you're getting to know someone? It's going to be pretty clear if they are just a friend or a significant other.

                Playing into the long game, it'll suck to be in love with a good friend who doesn't feel the same way.
                Well I'm not really expert in this kind of things but I'm sure every choices you make will have risk and that's why we must be fully prepared. But once you confess to your good friend, it'll never be the same as before either in a good path or bad path.
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                Old September 27th, 2017 (9:37 AM).
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                  I'm confused about something here. How could you grow love for someone if you weren't already friends with them to begin with? Unless you mean one of those 'love at first sight' things, in which case I would argue that it would only be physical love, IMO. Again, in my opinion, I would say that love is never just physical or emotional/mental, it's the whole shebang.
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                  Old September 27th, 2017 (10:04 AM).
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                  This happened to me once(ie. someone confessing to me), and I said I'd think about it. I honestly did do that but I soon said I wasn't interested. We stayed friends after that, and it never became a problem.

                  It'd never happen the other way around because I'm way too shy, but if it did I'd hope it would work out the same way as above if they weren't interested.
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                  Old September 27th, 2017 (10:24 AM).
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                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by string555 View Post
                    I'm confused about something here. How could you grow love for someone if you weren't already friends with them to begin with? Unless you mean one of those 'love at first sight' things, in which case I would argue that it would only be physical love, IMO. Again, in my opinion, I would say that love is never just physical or emotional/mental, it's the whole shebang.
                    What I mean is you already friend with the person but not quite long yet and you confess to him/her.
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                    Old September 27th, 2017 (12:18 PM).
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                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Home View Post
                      What I mean is you already friend with the person but not quite long yet and you confess to him/her.
                      Then in that case what they say means that they might consider it, or it might mean that they already decided they don't want that, but they didn't want to flat out reject you. The longer you know the person, the easier it should be to tell what they really mean.

                      Either way, it seems like a roll of the dice. You either end up in a relationship with them, or you stay friends, or at worse, you end up losing them as a friend because things just get really awkward after that.
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                      Old September 27th, 2017 (2:42 PM).
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                        There's only a few circumstances where I would confess my love to someone right away, and they all involve video game or anime characters :P So I personally would wait a bit and if they say no, ask again. After being rejected twice you might as well give up, they're probably not into you.
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                        Old September 27th, 2017 (8:29 PM).
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                        Idk I'm so socially awkward and lonely that none of this would happen lol
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                        Old September 30th, 2017 (6:03 PM).
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                        I'd try to be friends for a few months, than pop the whole relationship question later.
                        Nothing ruins a friendship, then going into a relationship too soon.
                        Nothing ruins a relationship like not being friends for a while first.

                        I've never been in a proper relationship.
                        But I just know from what I was in.
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                        Old October 1st, 2017 (11:31 AM).
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                          I've faced this exact situation this years, there was this girl I really really like . . . I've brought her some flowers secretly for her birthday, then I gathered some bravery and I decided to tell her my feelings.
                          She said she appreciated the attentions, but wasn't in the mood for something important, then she proposed me to remain good friends, I said "perhaps"

                          I think that the best thing to do is to mantain a cordail relationship, but not "as a friend" it would be painful IMO.
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                          Old October 1st, 2017 (2:12 PM).
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                            It means you need to persevere and develop a relationship that can eventually become love; because you've not done enough to reach that point yet.
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                            Old October 2nd, 2017 (9:52 AM). Edited October 2nd, 2017 by the_swan.
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                              Quote:
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                              It means you need to persevere and develop a relationship that can eventually become love; because you've not done enough to reach that point yet.
                              I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
                              (still like her tough)
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                              Old October 2nd, 2017 (12:54 PM).
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                              Quote:
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                              I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
                              (still like her tough)
                              Which is a very mature response to such things. Holding out hope is perfectly fine, but it's a sign of emotional intelligence to accept their feelings and not let your own infatuation be the only feelings you recognise.
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                              Old October 10th, 2017 (2:00 PM).
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                                Quote:
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                                I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
                                (still like her tough)
                                You're right. op's explanation definitely points towards this being the best approach.

                                Persevere if if there's plenty of evidence to make you think that it's worth your while. Don't do it when you're too busy obsessing over your affection.
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                                Old October 14th, 2017 (4:03 PM).
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                                So I confess my feelings to someone I have grown to develop feelings for, and they don't feel the same way as I do, essentially?

                                My case of action would be, at least for the time being, separating myself from this person. So long as attraction to her exists, then we can't be friends.
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                                Old November 1st, 2017 (12:49 PM).
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                                I guess there's enough confusion in that idea that in order to feel love one has to mandatorily be friends to the other person; that's pretty simply and empirically not true. You certainly need to know the other person well over a simple cursory degree, but friendship is not at all necessary.

                                If we are already friends but haven't been for that long yet, and the question pops up as in the scenario given, and their answer is "Let's be friends first" when we are supposedly already friends, that'd be a huge warning sign. It'd be a clear indication that even under the label of friends that person does not value you as equitatively as you value them (as friends or romantically) which mind is a normal and not a bad thing, but it does mean you'll likely always be at a disadvantage. Or it could be a warning sign that that person has a desire to wall things. But with all that, the thing to take from that warning sign would not be to not try, but to find out more about this person first and to figure out if what we are in love with is really the person we have in front of us, or an emotional or social ghost of.

                                Given the reasons people fall in love, I'd venture nothing sucks more than falling in love with a fake person.
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                                Old November 3rd, 2017 (11:39 AM).
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                                Quote:
                                Originally Posted by Home View Post
                                If example you confessed your love to a person and he/she say ," Let's be friend first?". What does this mean in your point of view?
                                (P/S: You guys are already friend but not quite long)
                                It means they're not into you and that's the excuse they came up with to avert a difficult conversation, doubly so since you've already been friends with them for a while. If there was a chance of it working they would have suggested dating instead of being friends; the whole point of dating is to get to know the other person and see if you work well together.

                                They're probably trying not to hurt your feelings because they like you as a friend and don't want to have a difficult conversation that's going to leave you upset. This is seriously misguided on their part and personally it really irritates me when people do this; I don't like people jerking me around and wasting my time and I'd much rather they just be direct with me.

                                I'm gonna give some advice here. A major mistake that a lot of (usually younger) people of both sexes make is not being clear and upfront about things from the start. It's difficult to do because it's awkward, embarrassing, and can often end with you feeling like crap if you get rejected, but it's something you really need to do. Be clear from the start why you're getting close to someone or they're just going to see you as a friend and it's going to get awkward if you try to turn it into something else.

                                You also need to not obsess too much over any one person that you're interested in. If you let them know from the start that you're into them and they didn't reciprocate, just move on. The odds of them spontaneously developing feelings for you are so low that they may as well not exist and you're going to waste a lot of time for what's eventually going to end in heartbreak for you (unless you're perfectly fine being "just friends" with them and seeing them with someone else, and let's be honest, you're not). You're only hurting yourself by trying to pursue something that's not there. Move on and you'll find someone else you're interested in eventually; trust me, there are at least 4.5 billion other potential candidates, you'll find someone if you keep at it.

                                Also, don't let someone take advantage of you. Try to keep a clear mind and don't let your feelings blind you from the signs of a bad relationship. Being in a relationship feels great and you're not going to want to think about the signs of trouble even if they're super obvious and everyone around you sees it. Keep your head and be proactive about problems. Listen to advice, even if it hurts you or makes you angry. If you have good friends, they'll be there for you and if they give you advice, it's because they're worried for you.

                                Above all else, though, respect yourself and don't let people jerk you around. You're worth more than you might think and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Don't let someone try to change you. If you want to improve yourself in some way, go for it; that's great, but do it for your sake. If someone can't love you for who you are, don't waste your time; there are countless others out there who will. Be strong and don't waste your time on people who don't respect you.
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                                  #24    
                                Old November 11th, 2017 (1:17 PM).
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                                  I don't know because I'm too awkward to say anything and nobody would confess love to me anyway...
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                                  Old November 13th, 2017 (5:39 AM).
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                                    I would say it depends on how young both of you are. If i may ask...How old are you?
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