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"Squirtle, use thunder!

Started by Ice May 23rd, 2015 3:57 AM
  • 6 replies


Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 8 Hours Ago
894 posts
4.9 Years
I feel like I suck at doing action scenes, because I try to describe all the most subtle of actions instead of just the important stuff.
I do like to keep my amount actions scenes low though, they feel much more anticipated then. Build up and pacing matter, I hate when action is too constant or too little

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Seen January 23rd, 2018
Posted January 3rd, 2018
703 posts
11.9 Years
I've only written a few action scenes, and I don't think I'm too good at it yet. ^^' *has just joined a battle RP*

I feel really clumsy when describing action, and I feel like my sentences slip into a bit of a "he did this, and then she did that, and then he went like this" formula that is really boring to read... the exact opposite of what I want!

As for how I write action: generally I end up writing a lot of introspection when RPing normally, a habit I'm trying to cut back on. My narration is also a little bit omniscient in that I might mention something my character isn't aware of. During action scenes, however, I try to focus on sensory information like the sound of battle or smell of blood for immersion, and I strictly don't mention anything that my character can't see or sense in some way. So if somebody else strikes my character from behind, then I won't mention it until my character actually feels the blow.

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Age 29
Arizona, USA
Seen 1 Hour Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
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9.5 Years

I feel really clumsy when describing action, and I feel like my sentences slip into a bit of a "he did this, and then she did that, and then he went like this" formula that is really boring to read... the exact opposite of what I want!
I think most of us do that, at least at first. I've found that a good way to break that chain of descriptors is by adding dialogue. Either throw in some banter on the battlefield or show your character's thoughts. Even something as simple as "This is more fun than I expected!", or "He's strong. Have to be careful..." helps the reader empathize with your character, which helps them get invested and raises suspense.

Of course, I grew up watching a lot of shonen anime, or reading comic books, so my fight scenes tend to be rather talkative.

Actually, that works too! Imagine a fight scene in a movie or cartoon, and write like you're giving the play-by-play to a friend. If nothing else, it's good practice.


Age 24
Seen 9 Hours Ago
Posted 9 Hours Ago
20,666 posts
7.6 Years
I honestly have no idea how to describe the way I write action. I think I'm okay at it, although I wouldn't consider myself some sort of amazing wordsmith either. I just think I'm relatively good at avoiding listing haha.


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Age 22
Seen 5 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
8,229 posts
4.8 Years
Descriptive writing is my forte and action scene writing falls under that umbrella. Pokemon battling is easy for me to write, given that my visualizations are very anime-styled. I'm not a fan of trainers screaming out commands though. Magic battles are also quite fun though not as easy to write, as there's a complexity apart from "A used this, B used this".
New Hampshire, USA
Seen June 30th, 2015
Posted June 1st, 2015
98 posts
5 Years
I'm not a fan of trainers screaming out commands though.

I know this is what no one wanted, but I have a spoiler containing 1x1 battle between two characters (one an NPC and the other a PC). Shak can ignore this since this is from my RP we're continuing (from my signature).

But, because I believe I understand emotions well enough, that's something I tend to describe, even in action scenes. I describe why they performed an attack or maneuver (but in no more than a sentence, if not in the same sentence).

With something like Pokemon, it's important to know how the maneuver looks, but it's equally important to understand how that Pokemon would perform the maneuver. Because each Pokemon is different, each would produce a Light Screen differently. They could vary in color/size/shape/state/etc.

In other kinds of combat (open-hand, weapons, magic, etc.) it's important to understand the weapon your character is using. This requires study and even personal experience/practice. You need to understand that a character can't do a backflip when they just jumped into the air and have to dodge something while in the air. But you also have to understand how physics play a factor in the particular world you are in. Can they fly/disappear/become liquid/etc.?

As for Collabs (Collaborations (which you lot call "JPs" xP), I find them much easier than separate posts during an interaction between PCs. When interacting between posts, it's confusing for everyone for a character to ask more than one question or give more than one response (unless one was intended to be an interruption) and keep it chronologically understandable. So if I have ideas of questions I know my character would ask, I would write them in a pad, but then the other Player could respond immediately after the question was stated instead of creating a break between writers so that it's more understandable. This also opens the opportunity to take detours through dialogue you weren't intending on making because someone said or did something unexpected, which is what RPing is all about, right? ^^ :D

David wanted to start it off with a bang, for which Forrest wasn't prepared. Initially, he thought it was a Razor Shell, but when he noticed the yellow film around Crawdaunt's claw, it was Crabhammer headed straight for Shiftry. "Leaf Storm!" Forrest bellowed.

Shiftry flinched from the sudden command, since he wasn't used to being commanded so immediately. His whipped his arms back and the leaves multiplied and flew toward Crawdaunt, who slammed through the wall of leaves. It slowed him down enough for Shiftry to perform a Feint Attack, if only to retreat. Forrest took a deep breath, since it was just the beginning of the battle and considering everything that just happened within a few seconds. Not only that, the maneuvers performed were uncharacteristic for the beginning of a battle.

Crawdaunt's body crackled and gleamed as he waved his claws in the air. "Muk," Forrest whispered. David had trained Crawdaunt well in performing two different moves at once, and Iron Defense and Swords Dance would be enough to overwhelm Shiftry just from the this first use.

Shiftry responded by performing a simple Harden, which he almost never did. His leaves ceased to blow in the wind and shone bright before becoming matte. He stuck his feet into the sand, as well, and his physicality seemed to enlarge. Forrest knew it was a simple Growth, but it could have seemed like an Ingrain, which he knew David wouldn't know if Shiftry even knew.

"Fake Out," Forrest said calmly. David was confused since he through Crawdaunt forced Shiftry from it's window of availability, but Forrest worked diligently with Shiftry to use it up to three times in any one match.

Shiftry disappeared from sight, leaving sunken holes in the sand. His image appeared behind Crawdaunt, to which David shouted. Before Crawdaunt could even turn around, Shiftry appeared quite close to Crawdaunt's face and kicked Crawdaunt's body and making it flinch in shock and mild pain.

Shiftry's face contorted into a sinister grin and his eyes began to glow. As Crawdaunt recovered from the flinch, Shiftry pounded Crawdaunt's body with darkly-clouded limbs. Forrest knew Shiftry enjoyed following up Fake Out with Foul Play. Not only that, with Crawdaunt's use of Swords Dance, Foul Play would deal that much more damage.

Shiftry was confident he shook Crawdaunt through his Iron Defense, but that didn't seem to be the case. "Now," David shouted over the sound of Foul Play.

Crawdaunt's pincers opened up and blackness burst from them. It knocked Shiftry back and fell him to a knee. David nodded and Crawdaunt's yellow star upon his head glowed white and shot out its form toward Shiftry. Before it could reach him, however, his eyes turned red and he tumbled out of the way, impossibly dodging each star which exploded onto the sand. "What?!" David shouted in confusion and disbelief.

"Not all offensive moves need to be used offensively," he confessed, however vaguely. Shiftry had a knack for using Extrasensory to boost his own physical and mental capability rather than torturing an opponent. He found it more useful than how Medicham would utilize Psychic in a similar manner.

"Feinting Blade," Forrest said calmly.

Shiftry's image disappeared once more, but a smokey cloud followed his invisible movements. It darted back and forth and around Crawdaunt until a portion of it turned green and passed through Crawdaunt.

With the unpredictability of Feint Attack and the power of Leaf Blade, neither David nor Crawdaunt knew how to react to such a maneuver. But now, Forrest believed he wouldn't be able to use it again, since Feint Attack wasn't completely invisible and they knew, when they saw green, that the attack would be executed soon after. Forrest also hoped that would be the end of the battle when a portion of Crawdaunt's shell cracked louded and his legs seemed to have given out for a second.

"Now it's time to get serious," David confessed, making Forrest's hopes void.

Crawdaunt's shell began to shine again, but he rubbed his claws together this time. The sound of the hardening shell somehow sharpening made a horrible noise that made both Forrest and Shiftry cringe. Shiftry responded by digging into the sand for Growth and Hardening his body.

Forrest had forgotten to make sure a Sunny Day was performed and cursed himself when Shiftry shook his leaves and the sun responded in a positive manner. "Get 'im," David commanded.

Crawdaunt's lower half was enveloped in water and shot toward Shiftry. As he tried to continue his Growth and Harden, Shiftry opened his mouth and shot out seeds at Crawdaunt. They were effortlessly dodged but made large holes in the sand as they exploded with concentrated force.

Crawdaunt's left claw "zipped" as he raised it in the air and slashed it across Shiftry's prepared body. Behind the speed of Aqua Jet, the Razor Shell cut into Shiftry's body and knocked him out of his deep stance in the sand.

Now on his back, Shiftry was helpless. Crawdaunt Vice Gripped Shiftry's right foot and held him upside-down. When Forrest saw Crawdaunt's other claw go up to Shiftry's neck, he called out "Leaf Storm!" in a kind of panic very few had ever heard from the man.

Shiftry looked equally panicked from the imposing Guillotine and erupted in leaves that cut into Crawdaunt's heavy and hardened body, forcing him to release Shiftry and be lifted by the power of the storm.

"Keep it up!" Forrest shouted with clear anger. David wasn't too surprised by Forrest's response at Shiftry's defeat. He knew Forrest always got emotional when his Pokemon were in a pinch. David chuckled at the pun as well as from enjoying the serious battle.

Even with Crawdaunt surrounded by large and sharpened leaves which spun around him with blinding speed, David knew there was still more Crawdaunt could do. "Scalding Pulse," David shouted through the Leaf Storm so Crawdaunt could hear.

The leaves began to pulse outward and then they began to burn. After a few seconds, the orb around Crawdaunt exploded and the leaves turned to ash before they could touch earth. The crab was clearly worn out and was breathing heavily. Shiftry was just as tired, but didn't let it show. His eyes turned red to prepare for the chance of a counter attack.

Crawdaunt just slowly waved his claws around while scraping them together. "Muk," Forrest whispered again. "Muk." He paused a moment, thinking of what was best for Shiftry to do. With the sun still blazing, Growth would increase Shiftry's strength. "Dig deep!" he bellowed through his chest. Those closest to him would notice a vibration through their body from the intensity of the shout.

Shiftry's body glowed a bright green, this time. As Crawdaunt performed a combination of Swords Dance and Hone Claws, Shiftry knew he had to do all he could to just barely counter this final attack.

Forrest and David both knew this would be the last attack, and this alone made the atmosphere become still with suspence. Both Pokemon glared at each other, making sure the other didn't move prematurely.

It seemed like an hour before water just appeared below Crawdaunt and shot him straight for Shiftry. He responded by unleashing all the leaves his could. With this, he opened his mouth and poured out as many seeds as was physically possible. Crawdaunt was seemingly unphased by the explosions erupting upon his body and the leaves cutting through his shell. Both Crawdaunt's claws crashed into Shiftry's body, sending him flying in the opposite direction and making the leaves fall softly where they were.

Shiftry landed to the right of David and remained on his back. Crawdaunt seemed to stop breathing and just collapsed onto the sand in clear defeat.

The last of the sun's rays looked to gather into Shiftry as his body glowed a darker green than before. He struggled to raise himself to a sitting position. "Cheater!" David shouted in jealous anger.
Hoenn: Make a Wish
Forrest Archer Johnson
Medicham, Cacturne, Flygon, Breloom, Shiftry, Masquerain
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