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Pokémon Fallout (OOC/SU)

IceFyr1928

Is now DeathofShadows
758
Posts
11
Years
@Yellow: Gotcha. I think I'm gonna have my work cut out for me w/ Revolution anyways.

EDIT: I have noticed that the pace to this one is much slower than PTA...
 
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Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
My characters have abandoned a group of children in oreburgh (non-spirit kids/wants to become them) and there is a girl named Kalie heading to Children's city to get an escort to the mountain. If anyone cares they are there (My character abandoned them because it is her nature)
 

Lunacrest

has ninja'd: 2600
153
Posts
13
Years
I heard there was unlimited spots, and this sounds quite interesting.

Spoiler:
 
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Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@Lunacrest: Alright... Glad to see you're interested! There are some issues with your SU, but with a little patience we can work on those and get you into the RP. Now...

The first thing I noticed is that your character seems to rely on a cute and innocent facade. Survival of the fittest is a major theme in this RP. So quiet honestly? People will see weakness and it will more provoke them to attempt to take advantage of her perceived weaknesses rather than help or trust her.

I'd compare such an act to trying to playing dead... in front of vultures. I'm not saying she can't be really manipulative, just that the people of the fallout world are more often than not terrible people compared to the normal Pokemon world, and that playing weak/innocent/helpless specifically doesn't make sense.



The second thing is... you mention that she steals... laptops. The problem here is that technology is no longer a thing. Without Pokemon physically present to generate their electricity, humanity experienced a technological collapse. At this point and time, there should not be anything remotely complex running off electricity, and it would take quite a bit of explaining to justify anything at all.



The third thing I noticed was Spora's personality: "Spora is similar to Luna in many ways. She tricks people, including her "friends" into trusting her, and then she stabs them in the back. She enjoys other people's misery, and is somewhat of a sociopath like Luna. Spora always uses a hit-and-run method, as she loves the shock of those before they fall asleep."

My immediate thought on all of this is... Spora is a disembodied spirit incapable of so much communicating with anyone other than her host. How does she /do/ /anything/? o3o Did you mean to refer to her life before being a spirit? That on the other hand would make sense.


My last concern is more of a suggestion than something that needs to be changed or elaborated on. Your character's moveset is rather offensively orientated. 4 purely offensive attacks is... a tad steep, and you might find your character somewhat crippled in both utility and combat as she is now.

Other moves to consider: Synthesis, Growth, Mimic, Captivate, Charm, Attract, Bulk Up, Mind Reader, Protect, and probably a few others I didn't bother listing.

Mimic is a very neat move in particular. With just one moveslot, your character basically has an excuse to use any non-legendary move in existence, and fight an opponent with their own attacks. For Pokemon that can learn it, there's honestly no downside to replacing another attack with it. (I tend to treat it as Sketch, only it can be overwritten.)
 

machomuu

Stuck in Hot Girl Summer
10,507
Posts
15
Years
Since we were on the subject of Pokemon BW2 for a moment, I will say this (a little advertisement, if you will): BW2, in terms of innovation and content, is the best game in the series. It adds...more content than you'd expect from a pokemon game, especially what is, technically speaking, a "third" (and fourth) version. So...yeah, if you can get past the overuse of the Lucario family (not saying anything's wrong with Lucario, but the amount in which they use it in this game is slightly random and unnecessary, but by no means bad) and the sewers, you'll enjoy it. It also has a good story too, (probably better than BW, so I'd say it's the best in the series in that aspect as well). Granted, I'm not really the type that can play a new pokemon game without gameplay changes on a larger scale than were introduced in recent generations (I can't really play pokemon for as long as I can play other RPGs, not the newer ones, at least), this one is probably the most enticing game to play since Gold and Silver. So yeah, try it out, it's worth the money.
 

Lunacrest

has ninja'd: 2600
153
Posts
13
Years
@PkMnTrainer Yellow

I decided to remove the part of her being a good actress, after realizing what you said. Then, I added in some parts of her being rather manipulative, and reading someone like an open book.

I replaced some moves with the ones you suggested (which I thank you for, as I've never thought about Mimic that way). I decided to get rid of the SubPunch combo in order to get priority and speed, while having some support.

Last thing is, I added a part in where it tells you that it was how Spora was before coming into contact with Luna.
 

Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@Lunacrest: Not a problem. I often say this to people joining because I don't want you to get in and realize you hate the movesets you picked. My primary job is to try to avoid you... not having fun. So, y'know. ||P

Anyway, we've made progress. But you didn't address my question about your pokespirit's personality. Is it meant to reference her past life before becoming a spirit? If, so I'd like you to clarify that for me. It's a minor thing, but it needs to be done.

Two other things I noticed in hindsight was that the the flow of the history and personality leave a lot of things unsaid. Such as:

Why is she a thief? Like... what caused her to choose that route as opposed to scavenging or cannibalism? Was it the unreliability or difficulty of scavenging? I'd imagine a Breloom wielder would be immune to the toxicity of the plants everyone else wouldn't even touch. Is she a bit less corrupt than she is made out to be and would rather steal sustenance from people than make /them/ sustenance? Or was she frightened out of the idea by rumors of insanity resulting from such lifestyles? I hope you don't mind me suggesting improvements on your SU beyond what may be considered a deal breaker as far as joining goes.

Similarly. Why is she a loner? Was that a direct result of her parents dying, or more of the hostile, untrustworthy world she was born into? You tell what she is a lot, but not why.

Lastly, does your character know what "seismic" means? o3o The books remaining from a long gone era of piece are the only real means of educating oneself. I reasoned to myself that maybe that was more your vocabulary and less your characters, but an RP post generally shouldn't be in Third Person Omniscient (Because nobody, not even I, can claim to be omniscient over the world I'm writing about~)

I personally think a well-developed character is funner to play in the long run, so I hope you'll give my words some consideration when reviewing your character.
 

Lunacrest

has ninja'd: 2600
153
Posts
13
Years
@Lunacrest: Not a problem. I often say this to people joining because I don't want you to get in and realize you hate the movesets you picked. My primary job is to try to avoid you... not having fun. So, y'know. ||P

Anyway, we've made progress. But you didn't address my question about your pokespirit's personality. Is it meant to reference her past life before becoming a spirit? If, so I'd like you to clarify that for me. It's a minor thing, but it needs to be done.

Two other things I noticed in hindsight was that the the flow of the history and personality leave a lot of things unsaid. Such as:

Why is she a thief? Like... what caused her to choose that route as opposed to scavenging or cannibalism? Was it the unreliability or difficulty of scavenging? I'd imagine a Breloom wielder would be immune to the toxicity of the plants everyone else wouldn't even touch. Is she a bit less corrupt than she is made out to be and would rather steal sustenance from people than make /them/ sustenance? Or was she frightened out of the idea by rumors of insanity resulting from such lifestyles? I hope you don't mind me suggesting improvements on your SU beyond what may be considered a deal breaker as far as joining goes.

Similarly. Why is she a loner? Was that a direct result of her parents dying, or more of the hostile, untrustworthy world she was born into? You tell what she is a lot, but not why.

Lastly, does your character know what "seismic" means? o3o The books remaining from a long gone era of piece are the only real means of educating oneself. I reasoned to myself that maybe that was more your vocabulary and less your characters, but an RP post generally shouldn't be in Third Person Omniscient (Because nobody, not even I, can claim to be omniscient over the world I'm writing about~)

I personally think a well-developed character is funner to play in the long run, so I hope you'll give my words some consideration when reviewing your character.

I will always listen to a superior's advice, as I know it will help me.

I've decided to label my edits with colors, in order to show where I made the changes.
 
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Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@Lunacrest: Alright. I'm happy to say that I'm ready to approve you for the roleplay. You can get started whenever you want.

@Everyone: BW2 really added a bunch of really awesome looking moves to Eelektross' movepool, some of which I very much wished would've been around when I'd made Arcea. Therefore I've decided to go ahead and quickly redo her moveset.

(Dragon Claw, Wild Charge, Flamethrower, Coil, Double Team, Light Screen)
Changed to
(Dragon Tail, Wild Charge, Super Fang, Coil, Double Team, Superpower)

Oh right. Before I forget--I decidedly chose Torn Zero as the second GM for Pokemon Fallout. He'll be helping me out with stuff around here, especially regarding approving SUs since second opinions are ever so useful there.
 
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Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@Khawill: I'm glad I could provide it for you. Feel free to let me know if you need anything.
 
54
Posts
11
Years
this is my first time RPing but here goes nothing :D

the SU is incomplete but any critique is welcome :3


Spoiler:


updated with the appearance
 
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Satan.EXE

King of the Hell
2,807
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 29
  • C:\
  • Seen Jun 12, 2015
Aww, looks like I'll have to keep my ideals to myself...

So, I have a completely hypothetical question regarding Fallout.

What happens if a wielder uses the move TRANSFORM?
 

Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@WolfOfEve: Let me put it this way, If one knows transform they can transform into any human or pokespirit wielder, gaining their powers. (Transforming into a human therefore makes the user weaker for the sake of disguise.) However, they will never be quite as strong as the original, and in general must rely on outstrategizing to win as they have nothing else going for them and will therefore always lose if they can't pull this off when fighting their original.

A transform user cannot transform into inanimate objects, and also would be unable to transform into a pokemon if the situation arose. However, they can transform to change what they wear as an exception. Transform users that do not transform back will begin experiencing symptoms of weakness after an hour (More than long enough for any battle) that gets more and more severe until they either return to normal or die.

A transform user cannot accurately transform into someone that isn't in the immediate area unless they (somehow) have a photo or photographic memory. Non-accurate transformations will SEVERELY impact the power of any moves the user is trying to mimic.

Even a 'just decent' transform user will be able to take someone's form well enough that non-psychic/ghost types will have no way of telling them apart. Very good transform users will be able to mask themselves from psychic types, but not ghosts. (Reason: Ghosts can tell the difference between a person based on their souls.)
 

Satan.EXE

King of the Hell
2,807
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 29
  • C:\
  • Seen Jun 12, 2015
So, if someone was linked with a Rotom, would they be able to hide/transform into various tech and appliances?
 

Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
Well my characters just made some fireworks in Eterna, (nothing important was destroyed just some cells that they kept children in and some taverns.) I think that should make old man MacKenzie angry. Are there any pokespirit holders in Eterna (Hostile or player?) or can I make up one?
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
13
Years
Two things of note, Khawill:

1) They can't really keep the kids in cells anymore in Eterna (or anywhere else, really). The kids busted that option around the time of Aiden's and Tim's first appearances, somewhat early in-game, proving that cages were totally useless. A lot of the cells should actually still be covered in ice.

2) Aiden is still in Eterna, though he's more on the outskirts around the forest at the moment.
 
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