Polygamy

Is Polygamy really that bad? Most of the arguments I see against it are just because of religious beliefs or the general views around it in society today. But other cultures have it, and I don't think it would have any negative effects on society if it became more common

I think that it may reinforce the control men have over women in some cultures, mostly because it is kind of a way of saying that the woman is an object, to be used... Of course, in a place where respect is mutual, i wouldn't see anything wrong with it.

I know a lot of people who do it, and while it's not for me, I don't judge how they want to live their lives.

I feel an intimate attachment with just one person as a lot more special, nor can I understand how you could possible divide that between others, but apparently it works for some.

Even with respect and love between a person and their many lovers, I just don't see how the person can have a deep connection with all of them. Seems like a glorified harem. But it's their life choice, I'm not against it but I find it odd.

It's not something I'm personally comfortable with, and I kind of feel like a polygamous relationship is just begging for disaster. That being said, if other people can comfortably make a polygamous relationship work, more power to them I suppose.

Look up "polygamist news" and see what the search engine churns out. There's a reason a bunch of horror stories pop up.

I don't like it when it's forced, ie, men forcing many young girls to marry them, usually just to procreate.
Of course, there is systems where a woman has multiple husbands, which is galled polyandry

But if it's consensual, you are all adults, and you can handle it, I don't see a big problem.

Joker said:

I don't like it when it's forced, ie, men forcing many young girls to marry them, usually just to procreate.
Of course, there is systems where a woman has multiple husbands, which is galled polyandry

But if it's consensual, you are all adults, and you can handle it, I don't see a big problem.

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Are there really different terms when it's applied to the opposite gender? I had never heard that before.

Yeah! I learned about it in anthropology and I didn't know either
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/polyandry?s=t

Polygamy (and usually in the form of polygyny) as an institution seems to be rooted in and around control over women, or using marriage to multiple women as a status symbol. If we're talking about that I think it's fucked up and often abusive.

Polyamory as a concept however, I can understand. I was in an open/polyamorous relationship and it worked fine, but it wasn't for me. But if you have working, healthy polyamorous relationship, power to ya. Modern times and all that.

Daydream said:

Polygamy (and usually in the form of polygyny) as an institution seems to be rooted in and around control over women, or using marriage to multiple women as a status symbol. If we're talking about that I think it's psyducked up and often abusive.

Polyamory as a concept however, I can understand. I was in an open/polyamorous relationship and it worked fine, but it wasn't for me. But if you have working, healthy polyamorous relationship, power to ya. Modern times and all that.

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Yes, if the people involved in it can make it work it out, why stop'em.

Assuming there are no issues of consent and everyone involved is fine with it, I see no problem.

The only reason that it's bad is because it's attached to the state and that comes with legal ramifications. For that reason it should never be legal. What should happen is that the government gets the fuck out of marriage altogether.

If it were simply religious, then who gives a shit? I personally think it's pretty stupid but if everyone involved wants to do so then so be it!

I have no issues with polygamy. I don't find it that bad. If someone wants to be in a poly relationship, you have to be prepared for it. Both people have to be okay with it or it won't work.

I know people these days have a romantic partner while also having a qpp but idk if that's the same thing

One husband having so many wives has always felt oddly controlling to me, and sometimes some of the women are jealous and have to get used to it. I'm like, man, I would never be a part of that sort of thing. I personally like focusing on one person. It's difficult enough to really connect in a special way to one person, let alone eight.

Though, I used to be friends with some girls who were all poly and dating each other. There were three of them, and then four, and they lasted some months together until it created issues. I'm not gonna pretend to understand it, or ruin anyone else's good time, though. It doesn't personally bother me, as long as the people in the relationship are content and not forced into it.

It's a status symbol. The idea behind it is that the more money you have, the more money you have the more women you can entertain. The catch is that you need to treat them all equally. If you buy something for one of them, you have to be willing to do so for the others as well.

Afaik it has its roots in middle eastern regions where religion and state are still entangled with each other. It seems unlikely to fit into a society that advocates equality and the likes, as it is still a process of submission. If you're just one of many, you need to be alright with taking a step back and letting others get some of that limelight in your marriage.

Palamon said:

I know people these days have a romantic partner while also having a qpp but idk if that's the same thing

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qpp?

Queer/quasi platonic partner. it's an internet thing

As with all relationships and interactions, consent = mandatory. Non-consensual polyamory is cheating.

It doesn't affect me what others do but one person would be enough for me.

I do wonder how these men would feel if they were like me, unable to find a partner for over a decade.