Guys. I might be leaving civilization for a long time, even after the corona virus phazes out. I don't know where i'm going, but I got my bags packed so, if I don't respond for a while, you'll know why. I'm sorry PC. I love all my PC family, and you'll all always be in my heart.
Huh? Leaving civilisation? I don't think you can do that now. Oh wait, did I miss the sarcasm? Oof
it's hard for me to have anxiety breakdowns unless the bottle in which i stuff all of my emotions in starts overflowing to the point where it can't take much more of it. over the years i've slowly but surely gotten better at generally stuffing my feelings deep inside and being stoic about things for better or worse, even if they're bad things that happen to me. unless it's something i have a lot of personal investment in, i've always tried not to have too much of a reaction to things. helps keep me sane for the most part.
Emotions seem to be a weird thing. I'm kinda on the opposite spectrum in that regard: I'm barely able to show any. It even goes way worse when it concerns other people's feelings. Having no empathy I constantly have to remind myself that what people feel sometimes should at least concern me in some way. This lets me ride on this weird slippery slope that starts with "you should feel concerned", goes to "society doesn't want emotionless empathyless jerks" and usually peaks at "when are you finally killing yourself".
There's a lot of effort involved in getting out of it. Sleeping usually helps in some degree. Admitting to yourself that you're too afraid of suicide also helps. Though, I will not guarantee this to work for everyone. The best thing I found, but also the hardest thing, is to realize that you're having bad thoughts and then telling yourself to stop and then stop thinking. After a while things usually calm down.
The human mind a piece of work sometimes, isn't it?