We called them C&E's in my church. Christmas and Easters, since that was the only time of the year they went to church.
The Rainbow War! XD
I had an... interesting conversation with my mother on Tuesday. We were actually in the middle of a funeral procession.
Moar story?
My mom has always been pissed that I'm atheist, even though she's a rather terrible believer herself. She always brings up that she said it was the worst thing she ever did to send me to Catholic school, and that it made me atheist. I have to agree, but I had to explain to her the other reasons for atheism, the ass hole of a priest we had, the sexist nature of the church, the inconsistency of the Bible, the treatment of gays in the church...
Then she flipped a lid.
Apparently I'm only "bi" (she refuses to accept further, nor to accept the fact that I have a minor preference to women over men. I have no idea why I do, just weird like that.) because of the people I hung out with in high school. Apparently it was the cool thing to do and I did it to "fit in", just like, get this, my atheism.
I started laughing so hard when she said I was only atheist cause it was cool and I was just acting it. So ****ing funny! I mean when I say I'm atheist, I am a strong atheist and I will start rants and jump in any religious argument I find because I CAN DAMMIT (:P)
Then I got upset. I told her that my atheism, true, has a part with how religion treats the lgbt community. But I told her that I miss Church. She shut up and listened, and it's true. I miss the music, the singing, the feeling that you're in something bigger, the safety of knowing, of feeling that you're safe. When we were in that church for the funeral I cried, not for the departed cause I barely knew them, but for the fact that I missed this, I might not believe it anymore. But the community. I remembered my church and how much I meant to them since I was the only altar server. How it felt when I helped others for church related programs and such. I explained to her that I lost a lot when I stopped believing.
Then she asked why then don't I believe? Save what I lost? I explained that if I were to act like I believed, go through the motions but not have the faith behind it, it would actually be an insult, sacrilegious, and not like I cared, but there felt like there would be something inherently wrong with that.
She said ok.
Then she started actually asking questions. Like, not being mean, but really asking questions and being curious. It as such a step forward. Then she started asking me about lgbt stuff, purely curious. It was such a step forward! Then she started talking to me about other stuff, like how I really want to be a teacher. She said I should try for it, when before when I said it when I graduated high school she was like "GRR YOU'LL NEVER MAKE MONEY IN THAT JOB HURR HURR".
That ounce of respect I had for the church in that I didn't want to be considered sacrilegious, it got to her. I don't know why.
It's a good thing though.
