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Old December 2nd, 2017 (9:46 AM). Edited December 5th, 2017 by Fawful_X.
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Fawful_X Fawful_X is offline
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    WARNING! THIS FIC MAY/WILL CONTAIN: STRONG LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, OCCULT THEMES*
    *Warnings may or may not be revised as the fic continues; additional warnings will be provided at the start of the chapter it comes up on and will show up here in an edit

    The hand of fate can be a fickle one. With just a single decision, it can choose to end the fortune of an unfortunate soul, or grant it to a fortunate one. At times, however, its actions can be a blessing in disguise, or a curse that aims to take advantage of a foolhardy soul.

    A nobleman Braixen of a world populated almost exclusively by pokemon, knowingly or not, is a testament to the more subtle and conniving aspects of fate when he is forced to flee his home by an unknown assailant and take up a journey he desired to for a long time, unaware of the danger it presented. At the same time, a Zoroark found her comfortable, adventurous lifestyle disrupted by the cards that have been dealt. Bound together by a red string tied to the enigmatic Ricardo family, the two are enraveled in a mystery that seeps deep into the cracks of a dark conspiracy and must co-operate… assuming they don’t shatter from friction alone.


    So this is my first fanfiction here, and also the first one I've written in god-knows-how-long that isn't my typical "expanded nuzlocke story" affair. I'd be lying if I didn't feel a little tense about posting it, but at the same time, how will I know if it's any good or not unless I post it for the general public to see?

    I've decided to go for a tarot card motif for each chapter, both to provide insight into the contents of each chapter and because I honestly couldn't come up with any other chapter naming schemes that I was satisfied with (including simply numbering them, since it doesn't clearly define what one could expect to be reading about and I like some ability to forecast that stuff in the chapter title).

    Chapter Quick-Jump


    In-Universe Tarot Reference Sheet
    Spoiler:
    0 - Bounsweet - The Fool
    Naivety, Freedom, Chaos, Creativity

    1 - Braixen - The Magician
    Initiative, Immaturity, Manipulation, Untapped Potential

    2 - Aromatisse - The Priestess
    Hidden Knowledge, Wisdom, Patience

    4 - Tyrantrum - The Emperor
    Control, Dominance, Oppression

    6 - Togetic - The Lovers
    Decisions, Love, Understanding

    7 - Bisharp - Chariot
    Victory, War, Self-Confidence

    8 - Arcanine - Justice
    Justice, Rationality, Analysis

    10 - Jirachi - Fortune
    Fate, Luck, Opportunity

    11 - Azumarill - Strength
    Self-Control, Virtue, Tranquility

    16 - Absol - The Tower
    Disaster, Demise, Dread, Impending Doom

    17 - Blissey - The Star
    Hope, Altruism, Luck, Joy

    18 - Zoroark - The Moon
    Inspiration, Fantasy, Illusions, Trickery

    21 - Zygarde - The World
    Fulfillment, Harmony, Unity


    The disorganized, unmarked list of in-universe tarot cards that I'll sort out and add to the other list as they appear in the story
    Spoiler:
    Lopunny, Oranguru, Slowking, Eevee, Vigoroth, Xatu, Audino, Gardevoir, Timburr

    You can probably guess some of these, but regardless I'll still only reveal them as they appear in the story.
    I'd also like it if you could keep your guesses to yourself but other than that I can't really stop you if you wanna share them
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      #2    
    Old December 2nd, 2017 (9:48 AM).
    Fawful_X's Avatar
    Fawful_X Fawful_X is offline
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      Chapter 1: Death, Fool; Unversed Star, Reversed Hermit
      Spoiler:
      “Ein, Zwei… What was the next number? Drei?”

      The Braixen muttering to himself scratched his chin boredly. No matter how much he wished to go on an adventure, that didn’t change how he was stuck in a castle and essentially wasting away as he studied foreign languages to become a diplomat, just like how his father had, and his father, and his father…

      “Sir?” asked a servant after knocking on his room’s door. “Dinner’s ready.”

      The Braixen’s stomach growled in anticipation… Wait, already? The sunlight had barely even hit his book, when normally it stretches out across the door. Cautiously, he got up and looked through the keyhole of the door to try and confirm whether or not there was a servant there or not. After a brief look, he quickly realized something was very off.

      Namely, there was nobody there.

      “Sir? Your dinner is READY.”

      Mentally cursing to himself, he ducked away from the keyhole and tried to calm himself down and think of any other rational possibilities that someone could have come to him. Still… it couldn’t be someone across the hallway, as the nobles’ kitchen’s side wall was there. Nor could it be to the left, as that turned to another hallway. The right was also not possible, as that led to a staircase. That meant…

      “SIR. Your DINNER is getting COLD. Come out and EAT IT.”

      Quickly pushing away any thoughts of what this mysterious person would do, his attention soon drifted to the small open-air window. He knew that he was on the fourth floor, so throwing himself out the window would easily cripple him, or in a worst case scenario result in him splatting on the ground. As he had no means of softening his fall, he found himself scanning the rest of his room and settling his eyes on a scroll.

      He never was allowed a stick due to how “witchcraft” was strictly taboo in the castle grounds, and in all honesty, he agreed with this belief. Still, this was likely a dire situation, and such times called for desperate measures. Making up his mind, he stood up and calmly walked to get the scroll, before going to the window as he put it in his tail while the unknown person began to bang on the door.

      (Telekinesis.)

      He proceeded to swiftly jerk the scroll out of his tail, the thick, abrasive fur igniting it with ease. The fire on it turned a magenta color as the scroll was quickly incinerated, with him floating up to the window occuring in turn. With awkward, struggling steps, the Braixen soon found himself tumbling to the ground.

      (NonononoNONONO-)

      His heart stopped for the briefest of moments as a strong force that was almost magnetic in nature repelled him from the ground and safely deaccelerated him to the point he would survive without major injury. The Telekinesis soon wore off, however, and left him face-planting in the grass.

      Brushing himself off, he stood up and looked around him. Soon, he realized he was outside the castle… wait. He was outside the castle! He was free! He had escaped from a life of dull repetition and bureaucracy! Overwhelmed with joy at his liberation, he proceeded to run off in the hopes that he could find a town by nightfall.



      “The usual?”

      “Of course.”

      The Zoroark watched as the Conkeldurr bartender procured a dark grey shake and poured it into her glass, which she began sipping from.

      “Anything of note, Conkeldurr?”

      “Well, for starters, there’s rumors of a ‘demon’ that prowls the streets at night…”

      “I meant news, not rumors with little to no factual structure.”

      “Ah, no rumors? Then I’m afraid we have nothing that isn’t at least a couple weeks old.”

      “Then humor me. I travel far enough that I could stand to use information that is months old.”

      The Conkeldurr chuckled to himself and shrugged in a lax manner.

      “Ha, I shoulda guessed from Ms. Wanderlust here! Now, the big thing that’s been going on here is that some noble family from a neighboring kingdom is visiting! Think it was the Ricardo family or something like that…”

      The Zoroark’s ears twitched in intrigue. The Ricardo family hardly ever left their realm unless it suited their personal interests, and it was always done in secrecy. There being public knowledge they were in another kingdom was very disconcerting.

      “Why are they here, and are there any rumors circulating about them?”

      “Ha, that get your interest? Supposedly, they’re training some of their own in foreign diplomacy by the orders of their king, in return for their kingdom teaching some of our guys in it! Now, as for the rumors...”

      The Zoroark pulled out a notepad and began scribbling down what she heard. While what the barkeeper was saying was by no means untrue, she had her own suspicions that wasn’t the only thing they were doing. Suddenly, the barkeeper changed his tone and glowered at some rowdy patrons.

      “Stop your fighting this instant, or else I’ll crack your skulls!”

      In annoyance over how she stopped obtaining, she turned to look at a Braixen feebly fighting against a Blastoise and Gumshoos.

      “You two,” said the Zoroark. “Leave.”

      “And why should we, cupcake?” exclaimed the Blastoise. “Are you gonna cry to the old geez-”

      The Blastoise found himself cut off by the Zoroark suddenly pressing a golden thorn up to his neck, eliciting the attention of his comrade and making both freeze up in response.

      “I’ll give you a choice. Either you two leave this bar and the patrons alone, or you’ll have to worry about learning how to breathe.”

      Clearly intimidated by her, the two pokemon fled the bar, those in their road shuffling to the side to avoid being ran over before returning to their places. Her eyes proceeded to boredly glance over the Braixen, whose choice of apparel, a white shirt that had significant effort pooled into its design, contrasted with the simple vests, hats, and scarves that commoners were doing here, and the lack of stick in his tail also distinguished him from other Braixen.

      “U-Um, thank you,” said the Braixen as he stood up on his own. “Well… I set out to be an adventurer, and decided to grab a bite to eat… next th-”

      “Nobody cares. Now, do you want to be an adventurer or not?”

      The Braixen was taken aback, as he had never encountered someone that cut other people off in such a rude manner. He blinked a couple times in confusion as he looked at the Zoroark, whose major defining traits were the satchel and khaki cuffs she was wearing.

      “I asked you a question.”

      “Err… yeah, I do.”

      “Good. You are one.”

      The Zoroark lazily chucked the golden thorn into the Braixen’s tail, the illusion on it fading away and revealing it to be nothing more than a common stick, and left the bar at her usual hurried pace. After taking numerous twists and turns, she arrived at a nearby forest with minimal undergrowth, and twitched her ears when she heard someone pursuing her.

      “Hey, wait up!”

      She soon found herself relaxing and groaning, as she recognized the voice to be the Braixen’s. Resting her face in her right hand, she proceeded to turn to face him as he ran towards her, noticing the stick had been discarded as well.

      “Why are you following me?”

      “Well, I don’t really know where to go, and you do, so-”

      “Look. I’m essentially an outcast that people only put up with because I solve problems and sell what I learn. I’ve seen just about everything there is to see, and boy, you aren’t gonna like it.”

      “So? It can’t be much worse than wasting away in a tower, or breaking a taboo to flee some kind of kidnapper or assassin.”

      The Zoroark was about to speak, only to halt herself as she realized the potential weight of the Braixen’s words. Nobody sent others to capture or kill mere servants unless they were important to a noble, and such nobles tended to keep said important servants close to them.

      “...Hmph… If you’re serious about this, then mind giving me a reason as to why I should let you accompany me, such as telling me anything that went on at the local castle before you… ahem, left?’”

      “Oh… I’ll be honest, I have no idea what was going on there… I mean, first off, my parents are called away to another land that only had directions describing how to get to there so nobody knows what it’s even called, then we get weird guests that apparently came from that place, and then a bunch of incidents began happening. They started out like mistakes, but looking back, something was definitely up. Then, people started getting sick, but only certain people. And then began the disappearances…”

      “Disappearances? How odd… Are you familiar with the Ricardo family?”

      “Who?”

      The Zoroark was completely baffled that someone who lived at the castle was unaware of who exactly its guests were, and how the secretive nature of the Ricardo family towards their hosts even extended towards their family name. Blinking a couple times, she shook her head to regain her bearings, before pulling out her notepad and transcribing what she just heard.

      “I see, White-shirt. If you need to call me anything, Zoroark or Khaki-cuffs works well enough.”

      “Erm, I see. Well, what are we waiting for…?”

      “Nothing, now.”

      The Zoroark proceeded to continue into the woods, forcing the Braixen to run after her in turn, heedless of what awaits for them in the future.
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        #3    
      Old December 2nd, 2017 (1:49 PM).
      Vragon's Avatar
      Vragon Vragon is online now
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      Interesting start. I have some things to say, but I'll do what you did and just put them in Spoilers just incase there's some overall purpose for that.


      Spoiler:
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Fawful_X View Post
      Brushing himself off, he stood up and looked around him. Soon, he realized he was outside the castle… wait. He was outside the castle! He was free! He had escaped from a life of dull repetition and bureaucracy! Overwhelmed with joy at his liberation, he proceeded to run off in the hopes that he could find a town by nightfall.
      I do find the section fitting if he just left for just the sake of leaving. However, you said earlier that a mysterious person was asking him to come out so I would have at least wanted to see a sigh of relief from escaping this intruder and perhaps a little pondering about it, then this section. Else, what would the other thing add than someone coming after him? It would be no different if he had just gotten tired and just wanted to leave (which is a legitimate thing in your favor). So I'd recommend at least a little emphasis on who this person is or wants (though you did have a little of that in the initial planning). It would save this scene from being a bit of a waste in a way.

      I did enjoy the Dialogue between the conkuldurr and zoroark. You brought out your protagonist (or one of them) rather well and the bartender wasn't just there for discord or at least how you did it. I did kinda find the phrase,
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Fawful_X View Post
      “I’ll give you a choice. Either you two leave this bar and the patrons alone, or you’ll have to worry about learning how to breathe.”
      to be rather weak since "learning how to breathe" isn't the same as "struggling to breath". I get what you were going for, it just felt a little less of what it could be to me.

      As for that I find the dynamic of the two mains to be a decent one. While there meeting was neat and the Braixen following his savior believable, it kinda just happens and "cool". I'm not saying it is bad, it honestly is pretty good by my standards if that at all is a legit way of judging. Though I do find the Braixen not as enthusiastic to go along considering how he wanted to and now is. I guess I would have liked to see more of their dynamic in this chapter if that makes sense, but you have your story so that should help build them later.


      All and all, it was enjoyable. I liked some attention to detail when there was and you have a good hinge for dialogue. I would say next chapter should bring out more of your characters and perhaps using more from the scenes you set up could be something interesting to think about.

      Anyways, this was good and I wish you well in your future works.
      __________________


      Sometimes the best things come out of Conflict. It's inherent that there will be some head butting but good stuff can come out of it.
      ~Cliff Lin
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        #4    
      Old December 5th, 2017 (4:05 PM).
      Fawful_X's Avatar
      Fawful_X Fawful_X is offline
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        Vragon: Honestly, there's not really too much of a reason for me to put my fic in spoilers beyond personal convenience (namely, not having to scroll as far to get to comment X lol). That said, it does also provide a decent place for a chapter changelog if I ever need one on a chapter-by-chapter basis without extending my post much further, I guess.

        Chapter 2: Fortune's Justice, The Tower
        Spoiler:
        “So, where are you from?”

        “A far-off place, White-Shirt.”

        It was rather clear there was little chemistry between the Braixen and Zoroark, as evidenced by the awkward chatter between them as they walked through the woods. From appearances alone, the white shirt the Braixen wore contrasted greatly with the dingy cuffs the Zoroark had. These differences extended far past their presentation, however, and was made evident when they came across a weak-looking Gothita limping towards them.

        “The hell happened to you‽” asked the Zoroark. “You look like a Bastiodon ran you over!”

        Finding no empathy in the Zoroark’s words, the Gothita choked out some foreign words before collapsing and sobbing pitifully. Groaning, the Braixen shook his head.

        “That’s no way to talk to a child!”

        “Well, excuse me for acting the way I was taught to when faced with a kid.”

        “Ugh… Fine, I’ll handle this.”

        He proceeded to slowly and cautiously approach the young Gothita and gently tend to her in order to calm them down. After doing so, he proceeded to talk to her in a few different languages, before settling on one that the Zoroark was unable to understand. The two spoke for a while, and once they concluded their discussion, they both bid farewell as the Gothita ran as fast as she could back to the town the duo had departed from.

        “There’s bandits up ahead,” said the Braixen. “Said they ambushed and killed their parents at the fork in the road.”

        “And how did you discern that from gibberish?”

        “It was a different language, not gibberish… Anyway, you think those bandits might still be there?”

        “Probably. It shouldn’t be any harder to get past them than using illusions to turn invisible.”

        “What? Invisible?” exclaimed the Braixen, alarmed at the apparent violation of the magic taboo. “I can’t just break taboos whenever it suits me!”

        “And yet you said you broke a taboo earlier… And even then, would you break them in order to survive?”

        “Well, yeah… but at the same time, I couldn’t escape that situation any other way! I’m not just going to go around and willingly abuse magic to stay out of trouble!”

        “Pah, so that’s it…? Fine, if you really want to, I can just use you as bait.”

        “What did you say‽”

        “Nothing. We’re going to fight those bandits if we encounter them.”

        Feeling uncertain about what the Zoroark was saying, the Braixen proceeded to keep walking at a more wary pace. Upon arriving at the fork in the road, a Golisopod walked out in front of him from the undergrowth, soon followed by his Ledian cohorts.

        “Gwa ha ha!” laughed the Golisopod in a childish, mocking tone. “Look what came walking along; some poor noble all by his little lonely self! Gwa ha ha, such a riot!”

        “H-Hey, what’s so funny?” said the Braixen, his fur bristling as he soon realized that the Zoroark had somehow disappeared. “I mean, it’s just a pokemon walking a well-worn path, what’s so hilarious about something that happens every day?”

        “Ha, the funny thing is the amount of money you’ll be paying us! How about… we play a game? You guess my bounty, and that’s how much you’ll pay us, gwaha! Of course, if you guess even a single poke less, fail to cough up the dough, or think about trying anything stupid, then we’ll gut you!”

        “Well, how can I guess when I don’t really know you? For all I know, you could be just a petty criminal with a 500 poke bounty, or one so infamous to the point where any guess under the hundreds of thousands would be too little?”

        “Gwuh? How couldn't you have known about me, Gwarvish the Guesser!?”

        “Life in the castle is rather isolated compared to what happens out in the outside world,” said the Braixen, using the surprise he generated as a way to briefly smirk in a nervous fashion. “I mean, most news barely even reaches the gate! Now, since you have a title of some kind, I’ll assume you have a bounty of at least ten thousand, but may I have an idea on what you have done before so I can make a better guess?”

        An observer could practically see the cash signs in the eyes of the Golisopod, a clear sign his greed caused him to completely overlook the blatant flattery mixed with slight mockery directed at him. His lackeys were equally allured by the lucrative payday the Braixen seemed to offer, to the point they completely overlooked that one of their own was drifting behind their leader, something the Braixen didn’t overlook.

        “Gwa ha ha, a curious one? Why, me and my boys are among the most wanted felons in every kingdom on this continent for extortion!”

        “Ah, I see…” muttered the Braixen in a slow, thoughtful manner that originates from a desire to stall for more time to see what the unusual Ledian was planning. “Given that, you must be worth about two hundred thousand, at least… At the same time though, even the pettiest thieves would try and tell tall tales to make others more compliant towards their demands. But now, I have one last question.”

        “What?”

        “Is it worth you staying alive?”

        Before he had realized it, the Golisopod found a corsola spike being pressed against his throat by the “henchman” who had answered in place of the Braixen, who shed their disguise to reveal that it was the Zoroark.

        “One wrong move,” said the Zoroark. “And your best means of ‘gutting that noble’ is dead.”

        “W-What do you want‽” exclaimed the Golisopod.

        “Oh, nothing much. Just safe passage to Riverrend.”

        “What? No-Grrk!”

        The Golisopod winced as the Zoroark drove her weapon against him, well aware it wouldn’t take much more pressure to pierce his neck. Awkwardly, he proceeded to lead the way with the veteran adventurer clinging to his back. The Braixen followed behind him rather uneasily as the Ledian formed a protective circle around their leader, the traveller clinging to him, and the noble. Upon arriving at the outskirts, the Ledian broke formation and fled, leaving the Golisopod alone and outnumbered.

        “Now, I’d suggest running back into the woods with your friends,” said the Zoroark as she let go. “After all, I doubt you’d want to get into a fight where you’re clearly outnumbered, and where you could attract ‘unwanted attention’ at that.”

        As the Golisopod ran away, the Braixen crumpled to his knees and caught himself with his hands, the adrenaline from all the day’s events finally subsiding and making everything that has happened to him that day hit him in a gut with the full force of a battering ram.

        “What’s the matter, White-Shirt? We’ve hardly even did any fighting.”

        “Hardly? I could have been killed!”

        “Is that really it? If so, you’re on a fool’s journey.”

        “Do you even get the point I’m making? It’s that I can’t fight, and for all I knew you had left me for dead!”

        “But yet I came to your aid.”

        “Look, I’m not going to… to… deal with your muk! You never even told me what you were planning on doing, and I can’t just talk my way through everything!”

        “Are you so sure about that? Because if you were to ask me, you certainly wield the skill to… If you were to hone it, that is. Now come, I have business to attend to here… Or, you could go back home, and I don’t think your ‘friend’ will be willing to let you get out so easily, now that they know you’re using magic. You’re the one that wanted to come with me, too… Or was your judgement that messed up from wanting to fly from home?”

        The Braixen mumbled to himself about something on adventuring not seeming as fun given the bar fight he was thrust into earlier, and begrudgingly followed the Zoroark through town. True to its name, Riverrend was best known for the massive bridge that spanned the river, and connected both sides of the city… which was naught but a small portion of it thanks to most of the attractions and housing being on the bridge. The size of Riverrend’s bridge proved to be a source of great exhaustion to the uncanny pair, which was not helped by their relative lack of rest all day.

        “Gah… *pant* Are we… *huff* almost there…? *wheeze*”

        “Y-Yeh… Just *gasp* a little further…”

        The pair stumbled and wavered as they walked, eventually arriving at an inconspicuous tent ran by an Espeon. The Zoroark pulled out a small deck of cards and slammed it on the small table that separated the owner and the guests, before collapsing into a chair while the Braixen collapsed into the other.

        “Ah, I see the delivery was a success!” said the Espeon. “Jirachi decks are rare finds, given how many shams are out there.”

        “So I’ve heard…” muttered the Zoroark. “Anyway, we’re even. Now what do you want?”

        “Ah, nothing more than to tell both of your fortunes.”

        “Fortunes…?” muttered the Braixen tiredly. “Ergh, I’ll pass… Think that’s taboo, anyway…”

        “Oh, but I insist! There is nothing wrong with it, plus it will give time for both of you to relax, something that helps the stars more properly forecast what will happen, and will thusly provide a more accurate reading of what to expect from the future…”

        “Just let her do it,” said the Zoroark. “She won’t let you say no and’ll keep on going on and on about this… At least, I’m pretty sure it’s a she.”

        “...Fine, I’ll do it.”

        “Ah, wonderful!” said the Espeon. “Now, let us begin by each drawing a card from the deck. It will help the stars more accurately describe our fortune.”

        The Espeon proceeded to a card from a deck and reveal it to the pair that sat before it, the small tablet depicting a sprite whose form bore a striking resemblance to a star encircled by a wheel with red and white portions.

        “Jirachi,” explained the Espeon as it set the card back on the top of the pile. “The celestial envoy of luck, fate and opportunity, and the creator of this deck that foretells the future. Their mystic power shall guide us to a grander future, but only if we seize the opportunity to.”

        “Uh... Wouldn’t we just draw it agai-”

        The Braixen found himself gasping and grasping for words when the Zoroark drew a card depicting another one of her kind howling at the moon instead of the card that was just set on top of the deck.

        “This is me, right? If so, I assume it means something like illusions.”

        “Correct, the Zoroark is representative of illusions and fantasy, but also creativity and trickery. Now, may you draw a card, Braixen?”

        The Braixen continued to look on in amazement as the Zoroark set the card back on top of the deck, prompting her to sigh, grip the Braixen’s hand, and rest it on the deck.

        “Your draw, White-Shirt.”

        Reluctantly, the Braixen pulled a card and looked at the Bounsweet bouncing near a cliff depicted on it.

        “Uh, what does a... Bounsweet mean? That I’m... stumbling to my death or something..?”

        Clearly, what he said was wrong, given the agape mouth displayed by the Espeon and the raised eyebrows of the Zoroark. Sheepishly, he placed the card back on top of the deck in emulation of what has been done so far.

        “The Bounsweet is a rare card,” said the Espeon in slight surprise. “Those that draw it are fated to go on a journey that will change them or those they encounter...”

        As the Espeon spoke, it drew cards and set them down from left to right, the positioning of the cards seemingly sporadic despite the clear, calculating methodology behind it. Upon finishing, it pointed to the first card, an Azumarill lifting up a figure similar to a Pyroar that has been played with the bottom of the card facing the two pokemon before it.

        “The stars bring us ill omens. To begin, the peace that Azumarill presents is doomed to be shattered, and the virtues of those affected in turn. A being shrouded in an aura of mystery is apparently the driving force of this discord. If left unchecked, this entity shall throw the world into a war that shall destroy it. That is not to say that nobody will be able to resist them, however. Still, those that do will have untapped potential that is waiting to be unveiled.”

        As the Espeon spoke, it brought its paw from the card depicting an Azumarill to a Tyrantrum’s beside a Zoroark, a Bisharp’s beside an Absol, a Blissey’s beside an Arcanine, a Zygarde, and then a Braixen.

        “Now, my question is this. Do you have the patience to wait for your allies, or shall you seek them out?”

        The Espeon drew three more cards with one swipe and revealed them to its audience of two. Nestled inbetween a Braixen manipulating fire and an Aromatisse in deep thought was a Togetic wielding a bow and arrow, seemingly indecisive about whether to target a figure on its left or right. After doing so and holding them out for a bit, it returned all the cards back to the deck.

        “That, is a decision you must make, just like the decision to trust the accuracy of your fortune. Fare thee well.”

        After finishing writing down a brief outline of what was discussed, the Zoroark proceeded to get up. The Braixen had some more trouble standing from lingering exhaustion, and proceeded to collapse when he tried to take a step. With a heavy sigh, the Zoroark picked him up somewhat shakily and carried him.

        “Ugh, I don’t know what I’ll do with you, White-Shirt… I’m not even sure if we’re being followed or not by that weirdo he mentioned that tried to attack him… Hopefully we’ll get the drop on them if we are pursued...”

        If Zoroark hadn’t spoken to herself as she went to the inn, a Tailow that overheard them wouldn’t be causing the future death of an ally.
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          #5    
        Old 4 Weeks Ago (3:44 PM).
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        Cavespider_17 Cavespider_17 is offline
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          Join Date: May 2017
          Location: U.K or D.K depending on where you politically stand.
          Gender: Female
          Nature: Serious
          Posts: 60
          Overall, so far I have found the story interesting. I have noted to you previously any grammatical mistakes I have found. There is an interesting collection of Cards. I cannot wait to see more in action. I like the running joke with the Espeon for sure. It will add some humour hopefully when darker times approach. :) Good job so far.
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          "Even the sturdiest ship can sink if it is built with ignorance" - Aaron Piscar (Fictional Character)
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