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Martha's Mad Musings: Why Ash Doesn't Age

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Old February 15th, 2016 (9:29 PM).
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Following on from what was discussed in the general Conspiracy Theories category, I'd like to write an article from Martha's perspective on why Ash doesn't age.

As the title implies, Martha's conspiracy theories would be quite outlandish and ranty, and more humorous.

There are a lot of theories as to why Ash doesn't age but I'd want to write about one of the more relatively uncommon ones - that when he became frozen during Mew and Mewtwo's battle in the first movie, [insert science mumbo jumbo here] caused him to stop ageing. The chemicals in his body changed, he gained parts of Mew and Mewtwo's DNA. One of Mew's Dex entries states that:

Quote:
A Mew is said to possess the genes of all Pokémon. It is capable of making itself invisible at will, so it entirely avoids notice even if it approaches people.
so Ash is able to make his Ageing Genome (or something) invisible, and we all know (well Martha knows) that if something is invisible it doesn't exist! He can slow down time relative to him so he doesn't age, etc etc etc etc.

Will probably end with an ironic one-liner referencing other theories as complete bs/ridiculous/implausible etc.

Lmk what you think and then I'll start writing it if all is g! The aim would be for this to be the first of a few 'Martha's Mad Musings' articles.
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Old March 18th, 2016 (11:13 PM). Edited March 22nd, 2016 by Charlie Brown.
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(Author's Note: Super sorry for the massive delay - uni had just started up and it took me a bit to get into the groove of things.)

EXCERPT: Join Medium Martha as she uncovers the unbelievable, crazy truth on another Pokémon mystery - why Ash doesn't age. (Don't take her too seriously.)

Martha’s Mad Musings - Why Ash Doesn’t Age


Greetings children! My name is Martha. I am a certified medium with many, many decades of experience and wisdom that I would like to impart upon you all, my subjects.

I had the fortune of meeting a gifted (and dashing! kekekeke) young trainer named Ash Ketchum in Ecruteak City at the turn of the century. I then had the pleasure of seeing him from afar a few months ago and realised that he looked eerily similar to how he did more than fifteen years ago - still as young, as youthful and as devilishly handsome as ever. Blasphemy, I thought, for a boy to avoid aging! So I devoted the last two months of my life to finding his secret to never aging, and I finally have answers.


Ash Ketchum: 2000 and 2016

FACT: Ash Ketchum engaged in a battle with the Legendary Pokémon Mewtwo and Mew.

Most ordinary people don’t remember this battle, but I do. It was the Battle of the Century, a slog between the Clones and the Legitimates. I vividly remember hearing about Ash dashing out to stop the battle between Mewtwo and Mew, and getting caught up in the crossfire. The sort of damage one gains from a Psyshock launched by Mew and a Psystrike sent from Mewtwo? You can’t just sleep that off. That sort of damage changes you.

FACT: The damage from this attack caused Ash’s DNA to mutate.

The Real Truth Behind Pokémon Moves written by an unknown scientist describes Psyshock as “a move of unbelievable power that warps the air around a Pokémon”. A Psyshock coming from a weak Pokémon would be expected to do that sort of thing. But coming from a Mew, the most powerful Pokémon in the world? Psyshock wouldn’t just warp the air around a Pokémon, but alter DNA as well.

Ash turned to stone after being struck by Mew's Psyshock.

The dramatic and rapid altering of Ash’s DNA caused his body to shut down and temporarily turn to stone until his DNA had settled. Some say he woke up due to the power of tears, but that’s Grumpigwash. Crying doesn’t solve anything. Do you think I got to the powerful position I am in today by crying?

FACT: Part of Mew’s DNA was transferred to Ash.

It wasn’t just that Ash’s DNA mutated - it accepted part of Mew’s DNA during this mutation process. Jillian T. Fig of Solaceon Town, Sinnoh, describes this process as “acceptutation”. Mew’s Pokédex entry explains its ability to “make itself invisible at will”. This ability is located in its DNA.

Mew's DNA.

This part of Mew’s DNA, which allows it to make itself invisible, was involved in the acceptutation process. This means that Ash’s DNA now has this ability too.

FACT: Ash can therefore make his Aging Genome invisible at will.

Humans have what is known as an Aging Genome. It is what controls the aging process. Humans with large Aging Genomes age at a comparatively faster rate than those with smaller Aging Genomes, such as myself (as you can tell). Through the acceptutation process, Ash gained the ability to make his Aging Genome invisible.

FACT: When you cannot see something, it does not exist.

This is a simple law of physics. If something cannot be seen, it does not exist. By making his Aging Genome invisible, Ash’s Aging Genome therefore does not exist. Without an Aging Genome, Ash can no longer age and will forever remain at the youthful age he currently is.

The sneaky little boy thought he could cover up his secret, but I always get to the bottom of things! When you see the truth, it all makes so much sense. It has nothing to do with a wish he cast upon Ho-oh when he left Pallet Town - who would suggest such a thing? Ho-oh lives in my beloved Ecruteak City and would never leave to Kanto, and anyway, wishes don’t come true. You just need to accept the truth that Ash doesn’t age due to his DNA mutating when he was struck by Mew’s Psyshock, granting him the ability to make his Aging Genome invisible and thus halting his aging process forever. Don’t delude yourself with any of the other lies out there.
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Old March 19th, 2016 (3:55 AM).
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Looks pretty good to me! It was fairly amusing throughout - good work with it. =)

I do agree another image or two would be good to have - maybe one of say the Pokemon tears healing Ash for readers who don't know what you are referring to there (the first movie).
Quote:
Some say he woke due to the power of tears,
woke up, perhaps?
Quote:
It is what controls the aging process - humans with large Aging Genomes age at a comparatively faster rate than those, such as myself, as you can tell, with smaller Aging Genomes.
This could perhaps be split into two sentences, and maybe put 'as you can tell' into brackets moved back after a minor rewording, e.g.:

"It is what controls the aging process. Humans with large Aging Genomes age at a comparatively faster rate than those with smaller Aging Genomes, such as myself (as you can tell)."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiroshi Sotomura View Post
Also, do you want to write up an appropriate disclaimer?
I feel that could be in the article excerpt - something that makes it clear that it's silly and along the lines of 'Here's a crazy theory by Martha please don't take it seriously'.

We also need a cover image! Any ideas? Ideally something that incorporates the medium GSC sprite, of course.
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Old March 20th, 2016 (2:22 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiroshi Sotomura View Post
-snip-
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandbill View Post
-snip-
Thanks guys! I've made the suggested changes and chucked in an excerpt at the top that should also work as a disclaimer 8)

For the cover image I'm happy to make one with the GSC Medium Sprite + a RBYGSC in-game background + some text. Are there particular fonts/colours you'd like me to use to keep it consistent? Since I originally planned to have this as a series, it would be good to have a consistent cover image (with just the text changing).

e: Also sorry the images are super large - if you'd like me to resize them myself please let me know! They're all anime images so wasn't sure if I need to credit them myself.
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Old March 20th, 2016 (3:29 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Brown View Post
Thanks guys! I've made the suggested changes and chucked in an excerpt at the top that should also work as a disclaimer 8)
Neat. I'll give it another proofread later. Maybe add in '(Don't take it seriously.)' at the end of the excerpt?
Quote:
For the cover image I'm happy to make one with the GSC Medium Sprite + a RBYGSC in-game background + some text. Are there particular fonts/colours you'd like me to use to keep it consistent? Since I originally planned to have this as a series, it would be good to have a consistent cover image (with just the text changing).
I'd personally suggest against text - article titles are separate and article series are indicated in each article (and I think Jake was thinking on changing how those are presented too?)

Otherwise consistency is key, e.g. with the Medium sprite. There's also these (loose) limits for cover images:
Quote:
These have limits of 640x480 as a minimum size, JPG (or PNG where best), and aim for 100 KB as a file size limit. If you know aspect ratios, aim for images to be 4:3, 16:9 or 1:1.
Quote:
e: Also sorry the images are super large - if you'd like me to resize them myself please let me know! They're all anime images so wasn't sure if I need to credit them myself.
The sizes are fine because the Wordpress side of things can resize them to our liking! And images get re-uploaded in the process as well. As for credit, you can just go with 'Images courtesy of The Pokémon Company.' at the bottom of the article text in cases like these.
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Old March 20th, 2016 (4:48 AM).
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y/n/m?

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Old March 22nd, 2016 (4:28 AM).
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Excerpt and cover images looks good to me!
One other thing I noticed:
Quote:
and realised that he looked eerily similar to how he did more than 15 years ago
Typically write numbers smaller than 100 out in word form (so fifteen over 15).

Also, please provide an email address and a username (can't be changed) and nickname (can be changed and how you'd be credited as the author on Daily). We do the author credit thing via an account on the wordpress side.
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Old March 22nd, 2016 (4:36 AM). Edited March 23rd, 2016 by Charlie Brown.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandbill View Post
Excerpt and cover images looks good to me!
One other thing I noticed:
Typically write numbers smaller than 100 out in word form (so fifteen over 15).

Also, please provide an email address and a username (can't be changed) and nickname (can be changed and how you'd be credited as the author on Daily). We do the author credit thing via an account on the wordpress side.
Fixed!

Charlie Brown for username and nickname, and for email (Y) (don't judge, it's my only email without my full name lel)
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Old March 22nd, 2016 (4:42 AM). Edited March 23rd, 2016 by bobandbill.
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Originally Posted by Charlie Brown View Post
Fixed!

Charlie Brown for username and nickname, and beepbeep for email (Y) (don't judge, it's my only email without my full name lel)
Cool, check your email! After that you can create an avatar and bio for yourself. Login via this after setting your password: daily.pokecommunity.com/daily-account-login Then go to this page and edit the About Yourself info: http://daily.pokecommunity.com/wp-admin/profile.php Note the avatar will appear small on Daily.
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Old March 22nd, 2016 (5:05 AM).
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sweeeet all done!
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Old March 23rd, 2016 (4:11 AM).
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It's live!
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