Help & Advice Thread

Centipede Chan · Apr 1, 2015

Harley Quinn said:
Has anything happened in the last three days? Have you made any steps with doctors, mental health, etc?

Time and busying yourself are the best medicines for the immediate hurt. There isn't a get fixed quick way of dealing with these sorts of things, but they're healthy ways of diverting your attention when you need it. Reflect upon what happened, but don't let it consume your day. Hold out hope for the renewing of whatever you had with them, but only hold it on a loose string. Move on.

Well I talked to my therapist and my social worker and we got an appointment to see a psychiatrist the 16 of April.

Her · Apr 2, 2015

DDDchu said:
Well I talked to my therapist and my social worker and we got an appointment to see a psychiatrist the 16 of April.

You think you'll be able to hold on for the next few weeks?

Centipede Chan · Apr 3, 2015

Hopefully I can. There are some events in school pulling me back though but I just need to tell my counselor about some bullies and I should be good.

Edit:

So I am getting more depressed and lonely. Why do my closest friends, the one I talk to the most, all have relationships and I don't? What am I doing wrong that no one wants to be happy with me? Seriously, what the actual fuck. This loneliness is eating me alive and every day I am stuck with hours on end with just me and horrific thoughts.

countryemo · Apr 5, 2015

I don't know what to do, its my fault...

Well my stepdad got a dog a few years back for hunting and since he is allergic, he couldn't really stay inside so he was mostly a outside dog. He is a lab and not well cut, so he was very high energy and ran away a lot, so he has been kept in high fenced areas or more recently on a chain. Today we went shopping, when we got back we found him dead... hanged. He climbed up the slide and I guess fell and the chain was stuck. Its my fault, recently I've been trying to get him to go up there to get some more excercise has I haven't walked him in a while. And sometimes the chain got stuck in a crack, I've been afraid this might happen, but he would never go up there without me. Today he did. I feel so bad. I didn't want him at first, but I got stuck taking care of him, but I really started to like him, I don't want to admit he's really gone. I wanted him to be able to come inside, I wanted a better life for him, this isn't what he deserved. :((

Star-Lord · Apr 8, 2015

I have an absolute crippling lack of motivation to go to class.

Like when I attend class I participate and get good grades but getting me there is a hassle to the point where I skip a good 3/4 lectures per year. Anything would be appreciated at this point considering attendance now counts for like 15-20% of my grade.

Christos · May 10, 2015

Archer99 said:
Alright, I need help. And it's a big, big thing for me.

I have issues when it comes down to doing things like schoolwork. I can't do my homework sometimes because I'm too lazy (and maybe because it doesn't matter if you do it or no), I have huge issues to do schoolwork outside school. I can't really find a reason or a way to do it, without pushing myself too hard.

Why I need help with this?, I'm starting uni on a year and a couple of months, I still need to finish this year and another one at school. But I'm sure that killing this bad habit of mine is going to be hard... And I'm actually trying to solve it, without any good results. Sorry if it looks like I care too much about it, but I really hate being so lazy and even when I can fight it sometimes, the laziness kicks back again. And I'm done when that happens. It's a cultural thing from here as well, people is very lazy. But I'm not going to talk about it now.

Thanks for your help and time.

Try to stay away from your PC or the internet for a few hours every day. I know once you get home from school you just want to relax, but if you get too relaxed you'll just end up doing nothing for the remaining of the day. Try doing your homework right after lunch every day, just one or two hours. Knowing that you'd have nothing else to do for the remaining of the day if you finish your work early should be motivating enough.

For me it helps to have a set time to not do anything productive at all, so for example 6 pm, if I haven't actually done any studying until then, I just don't do any. :p

Uni should be different but you should still try and get your school work done too. By then you'll hopefully be more serious about it, plus there are things like gaps in your schedule where you should have enough time to do some work/studying done, and there should be plenty of rooms, maybe a library, where you can do your work after your classes are over before heading home, so you can just go home and relax afterwards.

So basically, set some time periods of the day when you should be doing work, and when you should be being lazy. It's different for everyone, some people are more productive at night. For me it helps to just get everything over with as early as possible so I can have the remainder of the day to myself.

Sylphiel · May 11, 2015

Hey guys! Just a quick little notice to please not call out people in threads here, as there's too much of a chance of it encouraging nothing but a needless flamewar. If you feel there's honestly a problem regarding somebody off-site, then feel free to report them to that site's admins, but calling them out here for any reason here is not something we encourage.

Thank you!

Charlie Brown · May 11, 2015

Archer99 said:
Alright, I need help. And it's a big, big thing for me.

I have issues when it comes down to doing things like schoolwork. I can't do my homework sometimes because I'm too lazy (and maybe because it doesn't matter if you do it or no), I have huge issues to do schoolwork outside school. I can't really find a reason or a way to do it, without pushing myself too hard.

Why I need help with this?, I'm starting uni on a year and a couple of months, I still need to finish this year and another one at school. But I'm sure that killing this bad habit of mine is going to be hard... And I'm actually trying to solve it, without any good results. Sorry if it looks like I care too much about it, but I really hate being so lazy and even when I can fight it sometimes, the laziness kicks back again. And I'm done when that happens. It's a cultural thing from here as well, people is very lazy. But I'm not going to talk about it now.

Thanks for your help and time.

Hey! A bit of a late response. What really helped me when I was in high school was visualising the goal that I wanted to achieve, and it's something that I continue to do now to work through periods of laziness or demotivation. I think in order to be able to combat laziness you need to have a clear reason for doing something - for example, that might be getting into your desired course in university, or making your parents proud, or getting a scholarship, or whatever. For me in high school, it was as simple as wanting to be the top student in my class.

Once you've worked out your reason, you need to be able to actually visualise it. Everyone visualises things in a different way - maybe put photos on your wall of your goal, or phrases and quotes on your wall to keep you going, or write in a diary every night so you can keep track of 1) how you went today and 2) how it's helping you get to your end goal. Think about how it will feel to achieve the goal you want to achieve - it's all about positive thinking.

It's all well and good to think about these things but as you may understand, it's useless without any action. I think the first step is just getting started with something, no matter how small. Set a timer - tell yourself that you're going to devote the next 30 minutes or an hour to studying. Put everything else away, just have your books in front of you. The hardest part is always getting started, so just focus on doing whatever you can to actually get started. Open up the chapter of the book you're studying, or start reading your notes, or whatever. Once you start, you just need to push yourself to keep going, and slowly you'll be able to build momentum - after a tough one minute of studying, the next few minutes might be easier, and soon you'll find (hopefully) that you're on a roll because you're able to build up momentum.

It's definitely easier said than done and like anything, it's difficult and takes time to build up these habits. But if you keep working and visualise your goal and realise that even though what you're doing might not be the most fun thing in the world, if you keep going you'll be able to reach your goal. Building momentum needs to start somewhere after all!

Let me know if you have any questions (:

Salvation · May 13, 2015

Archer99 said:
Alright, I need help. And it's a big, big thing for me.

I have issues when it comes down to doing things like schoolwork. I can't do my homework sometimes because I'm too lazy (and maybe because it doesn't matter if you do it or no), I have huge issues to do schoolwork outside school. I can't really find a reason or a way to do it, without pushing myself too hard.

Why I need help with this?, I'm starting uni on a year and a couple of months, I still need to finish this year and another one at school. But I'm sure that killing this bad habit of mine is going to be hard... And I'm actually trying to solve it, without any good results. Sorry if it looks like I care too much about it, but I really hate being so lazy and even when I can fight it sometimes, the laziness kicks back again. And I'm done when that happens. It's a cultural thing from here as well, people is very lazy. But I'm not going to talk about it now.

Thanks for your help and time.

So this might end up being a case of a blind man leading another blind man so bear with me lmao.

If you truly want to fix this problem, the best way to do this is to "just do it". I know it's a really big cliche but the only way to beat laziness is to do what you need to do. The thing about motivation and whatever is that it's not very reliable. You can be motivated one hour but not motivated the next hour. As soon as you lose that motivation, you fall back into the cycle and go back to doing nothing. So if that's the case, what you need to do is to develop self-discipline (which is a great trait to have anyways). You need to develop the ability to tell yourself, "This is something I need to do.", and then to go and do the said activity.

"But Thoughts how can I go and do something if my problem is not doing something?"

True, this part I don't really have a solid answer for but I do have suggestions and I do have the will to help you. The best way to go about this is to schedule specific blocks of the day to do specific activities as Christos mentioned before. But you have to be intelligent about your scheduling too. Don't just set a block to "study" for four hours and burn yourself out. Schedule in your breaks as well. Yes, they're mandatory, schedule in breaks. Personally I like to study in 3 hour blocks with a set up of 25 minutes studying, 5 minutes off. After 3 hours, I'll force myself to break and chill out for an hour or so. However, when you're working, you're working. Don't make dumbass excuses to log onto the showdown server or to check social media. Do that in your 5 minutes. But remember, you're not a machine so schedule in fun time and time to do nothing as well.

In the beginning its going to be hard to stick to your schedule (especially if you've set yourself an unreasonable schedule). Stay flexible and tweak it so that it's actually reasonable. I also recommend telling someone about your efforts and to get them to hound you to stay on the schedule. Worse comes to worse, message me and I'll get on your case about it.

Last thing I wanna address is that the cultural thing you mentioned in your post is just an excuse. That's it. You define who you are, not your culture or whatever. I'm asian but that doesn't mean anything other than my parents came from a country that wasn't Canada. If you've decided that you will be a productive person, good for you, but this has nothing to do with your culture.

GL BRUH.

zevarius kerensky · May 22, 2015

how do i forget 8 years of my life... no, i do not wnta tlk about it

Centipede Chan · Jul 7, 2015

Welp. Just welp. I give in.

Konekodemon · Aug 1, 2015

Quickly! I need urgent help. What's the pressure point to get rid of stomach pain in the lower stomach?

rebelrabbit · Aug 15, 2015

Glad I found this thread because I have a rather....odd predicament. It's one of "those" problems involving those of the female persuasion, something I've never, ever, been good at, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but this is just ridiculous.
I'll start at the beginning, I live in a house with 6 other people, all around my age, sort of like a collage dorm without the collage. From my first day there, one of the women (who I'll nickname Crystal from now on) has made countless advances to me, usually involving either surprise hugging me or just plain sitting on my lap and grinding my leg. I mainly ignored it, occasionally throwing a humored remark when I was in a good mood. A short while after I moved in, Crystal's older sister (who I'll nickname Amy) moved in. Amy and I almost immediately became great friends, and in about 2 weeks we started dating. However, Crystal never stopped her advances, even though I repeatedly told her to stop. I asked Amy to reel in her sister, but she replied "I dunno, she's never really been with anyone before, maybe you should get with her too." I was a little surprised by her statement, but quickly dismissed it as sarcasm. That is, until a few days ago. I was walking around the house at midnight-ish when I heard voices coming from Amy's room, and noticed that her, Crystal, and the house's last female resident that is rarely seen as she is always hiding, were all talking. Me being the Curious George that I am, I eavesdropped on their conversation, and subsequently royally crapped myself. They were talking about how they were all attracted to me, and "to make sure that no-one feels rejected or left out," they were planning to convince me to go out with all three of them. All. Three. Of. Them.
What the HELLdo I do about this?! Whenever I try to think of a solution my brain just BSOD's. I mean, yes, they're all good people to hang around with (including miss 'hides in dark corners' as I'm one of the two guys she talks with, although I didn't think she thought of me like THAT), and I enjoy spending time with them, but part of me sees that as a bit...wrong. Part of me says no, it'll only cause problems, but another part of me says yes as they're practically plotting things out together. Please help before I do something ungodly stupid.
(looking at this post, I wonder if this is actually within the guidelines...)

£ · Aug 15, 2015

rebelrabbit said:
Glad I found this thread because I have a rather....odd predicament. It's one of "those" problems involving those of the female persuasion, something I've never, ever, been good at, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but this is just ridiculous.
I'll start at the beginning, I live in a house with 6 other people, all around my age, sort of like a collage dorm without the collage. From my first day there, one of the women (who I'll nickname Crystal from now on) has made countless advances to me, usually involving either surprise hugging me or just plain sitting on my lap and grinding my leg. I mainly ignored it, occasionally throwing a humored remark when I was in a good mood. A short while after I moved in, Crystal's older sister (who I'll nickname Amy) moved in. Amy and I almost immediately became great friends, and in about 2 weeks we started dating. However, Crystal never stopped her advances, even though I repeatedly told her to stop. I asked Amy to reel in her sister, but she replied "I dunno, she's never really been with anyone before, maybe you should get with her too." I was a little surprised by her statement, but quickly dismissed it as sarcasm. That is, until a few days ago. I was walking around the house at midnight-ish when I heard voices coming from Amy's room, and noticed that her, Crystal, and the house's last female resident that is rarely seen as she is always hiding, were all talking. Me being the Curious George that I am, I eavesdropped on their conversation, and subsequently royally crapped myself. They were talking about how they were all attracted to me, and "to make sure that no-one feels rejected or left out," they were planning to convince me to go out with all three of them. All. Three. Of. Them.
What the HELLdo I do about this?! Whenever I try to think of a solution my brain just BSOD's. I mean, yes, they're all good people to hang around with (including miss 'hides in dark corners' as I'm one of the two guys she talks with, although I didn't think she thought of me like THAT), and I enjoy spending time with them, but part of me sees that as a bit...wrong. Part of me says no, it'll only cause problems, but another part of me says yes as they're practically plotting things out together. Please help before I do something ungodly stupid.
(looking at this post, I wonder if this is actually within the guidelines...)

It is your choice, but allow me to offer my two pence:

Dating 3 people at once is going to be a very complicated and crazy affair to deal with. What if they turn against each other? Is there one in particular that you're close to? Would they put dating you before plotting some absolutely crazy scheme?

Whatever you do I'd be intrigued as to how this went tbh! My common sense and reason would advise against such an arrangement, but... you only live once, right?

WestCoastShiny · Aug 31, 2015

Dating problems

Aye what's good everyone. I don't come here much but well, I'm in a weird situation. So basically, school started last week, and I like my female friend's sister who's a year younger. I've talked to her and hung out with her but idk how my friend would feel about it. Not sure if it matters but I'm a junior in hs (16) and her sister is a sophomore and she's 15. I used to like my friend before I met her sister but then I found out she's had a bf for about 2 years (this is the friend I'm talking about). But anyways, me and my friend are pretty good friends and I fear that if I were to date her sister it would ruin the relationship. Idk I'm just having mixed feelings :/ Not sure what to do which is why I came here for advice.

Outlier · Aug 31, 2015

I don't see a problem with dating a friend's sibling assuming everyone is consenting and respectful. It might help to ask for your friend's blessing though. I can understand why she might feel awkward or uncomfortable but hopefully she's cool with it.

Just to clarify when I said "assuming everyone is consenting" I just meant you and the girl you want to ask out. You shouldn't need to get your friend's consent but it's probably best to do so if you think she might have a problem with it and you don't want to upset her.

WestCoastShiny · Aug 31, 2015

Hm. Well I guess we'll see over time. I'm just not sure how I'd put it into words to tell my friend. Also as a side note, I've only recently hung out with her sister while my friend is there since they're like my after school squad kind of thing. Sometimes I hang with them during lunch but usually it's after school in the library.

Hiidoran · Aug 31, 2015

I would say it's most important that you seek your friend's blessing before you ask her sister out. If you two are good friends, I'm sure she'll give it to you. This may change the relationship dynamic with your friend though, as most romantic relationships end up changing your friendships anyway. I'm not saying the two of you won't be friends anymore, but it may change a bit. You just need to ask yourself which is more important to you - pursuing a romantic relationship with this girl, or your friendship? ~~...and let your heart guide the way!~~

Hope everything works out for the best though. High school is a tough time. Everyone knows everyone.

Centipede Chan · Sep 3, 2015

Hey um, anyone here willing to message me about anything and everything? I need so much advice and help and everything, and "seek professional help" is not an option at the moment. Or any time soon. I just really need someone on the outside to talk to and be able to vent to. I am sure there are many but I don't want to start randomly messaging people and making them suddenly really worried for my existence.

Sorry I post so much here too.

Stroker Ace · Sep 4, 2015

Hey guys, I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment... You see, there's this girl at Pokemon club I met back in December of 2014, and we wound up chatting occasionally at club meetings, was preoccupied with another girl at the time, and I didn't develop a crush on her until around March. I finally grew the balls to talk to her regularly around July, and we wound up going to the fair and hanging out at her house in August (on separate days). The thing is, I'm not sure whether or not 1. she will reciprocate the feelings I have for her and 2. when to ask if she wants a relationship with me. We've hung out a lot this past week, the first week back from summer break, but I'm not sure if she really likes me or just thinks of me as a good friend.

Help & Advice Thread

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Centipede Chan

Her

Centipede Chan

countryemo

Kicking against the earth!

Star-Lord

withdrawl .

Christos

Sylphiel

Charlie Brown

[font=lato]coolcoolcool[/font]

Salvation

To be saved.

zevarius kerensky

i bid my timberwolf in defiance of yer claim!

Centipede Chan

Konekodemon

The Master of Pokemon Breeding

rebelrabbit

CRAAAAWLING IIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIN

£

You're gonna have a bad time.

WestCoastShiny

Outlier

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WestCoastShiny

Hiidoran

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Centipede Chan

Stroker Ace

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