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Old August 4th, 2009 (12:33 AM).
Kalak's Avatar
Kalak Kalak is offline
Luxray Lover
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel Park, Pa
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Posts: 11
Hey, I'm new here, and I was drawn in by the fanfic forums. I was wondering...I already have the beginning of my story, and was wondering if anybody wanted to offer suggestions/criticisim. feedback please! you can find a link to the story in my signature.
Suddenly, when things seemed pretty hopeless, Kira heard a voice say:

“Shinx, use bite on it!” Then, the voice’s owner stepped out of the trees and Kira was stunned to see Kalak, especially commanding a Pokémon
(Please give my Pokemon story a read! You can find it here!

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Old August 4th, 2009 (6:35 AM).
Astinus's Avatar
Astinus Astinus is offline
Remember NovEnder
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,934
If you want us to offer feedback to your story, then you should post it over here, instead of telling people to go off-site.

Now nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody speaks my name
I'm just another blister in the mouth of shame
A bug in Ender's Game

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