[Life] Mental health club
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SuperSonicChao
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Music for me too. Sad alternative music helped a lot.
I used to do walks at night to see the stars when I wasn't living in the city. Driving alone for a bit and listening to music was nice. Making music, playing guitar or piano - just sort of let me escape into some other world in my head.
Back when it was my first time leaving my hometown around 19/20 made me realize traveling always helped me. It can be rough if traveling for longer than a month or two but always going somewhere new almost felt like escaping the despair.
pkmin3033
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I haven't posted in here in a while...I generally try not to infect other people with my presence, as there is more than sufficient reason to hate me as it is without me being around to hand people more ammunition. Plus I'm not good at sharing personal thoughts, and I sound hollow/insincere when I'm trying to be supportive of others no matter how hard I try not to sound that way, which makes me both a useless and pathetic waste of space. So I've kept out the way. Plus I...honestly don't believe people, when they say anything even slightly positive in relation to me. I don't exactly think people are lying, but more...speaking without sufficient knowledge. Nobody really knows me on here, so it's...idk. I'm straying away from the reason I'm posting here.
What I wanted to ask is: do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things? What do you do when you feel this way?
More and more recently I've felt like disappearing, honestly. I chose that word deliberately because how far I want to take that concept varies a great deal depending on how bad things are. I'm generally not the sort of person who really cares about this sort of thing, but every now and then it hits really hard and I can't really deal with it. I can't really relate to others in any meaningful way, but I guess I ask because at this point it probably doesn't really matter what I do I guess, so I was wondering if anything I said made any kind of sense. Feel free to ignore me, I guess. Just seemed like the place to ask.
What I wanted to ask is: do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things? What do you do when you feel this way?
More and more recently I've felt like disappearing, honestly. I chose that word deliberately because how far I want to take that concept varies a great deal depending on how bad things are. I'm generally not the sort of person who really cares about this sort of thing, but every now and then it hits really hard and I can't really deal with it. I can't really relate to others in any meaningful way, but I guess I ask because at this point it probably doesn't really matter what I do I guess, so I was wondering if anything I said made any kind of sense. Feel free to ignore me, I guess. Just seemed like the place to ask.
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I actually had the opportunity three times. Two times I got talked out of it and the last one, which was only the end of the last year, I ended up bailing out right before the end. Don't know why, exactly, I suppose "the stars didn't align properly" or something. They basically gave me the option to choose my psychologist which basically meant I couldn't put up the energy to look. And the one they suggested happened to be on vacation. So time passed, I got doubts and nothing happened afterwards.
Well, I did tell some other people about my thoughts and stuff. In that regard at least some people know about what I think.
Drawing, sleeping, playing games. Stuff like that.
I tried philosophy, but that didn't really help. Well, at least it allowed me to expose and subsequently get rid of some of my right wing reactionary bs idiot subscribtions on youtube. Their constant useless anger was very mood ruining. So philosophy is not totally a useful thing, I guess. ^^
In a way it's funny: yes, I hated you. At least in the beginning I did. Then I got so annoyed that I had to talk to you...and realized that you're pretty ok. I suppose any attempt of getting a sort of friendship thing going mostly failed because we both may well be pretty awful at expressing ourselves and what not. Yeah, I'm failing here to give proper arguments.
Also you're a mod. If the higher ups on here where giving out positions to anyone they didn't like and trust I would own the place. :P
As much as I try to please anyone and everyone, I don't think in terms of people hating me. It's more like the majority ignores me. And they ignore me because I'm not one of the competitive, always improving, up to speed with the rest, career seeking turbo adults like everybody else seems to be. If everyone's busy and they all agree on being busy the same and bond over it, it's easy to end up forgotten.
Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
Yes, I get these thoughts quite a lot. Mainly in terms of soc media which is why I'm trying to limit it. I've found it brought the worst out in me and other's are far more prone to hate.
But I also know that no matter where the place, it's impossible for EVERYONE to hate me. I try and shut my feelings with logic.
What do you do when you feel this way?
Talk to a friend, or family member!
Yes, I get these thoughts quite a lot. Mainly in terms of soc media which is why I'm trying to limit it. I've found it brought the worst out in me and other's are far more prone to hate.
But I also know that no matter where the place, it's impossible for EVERYONE to hate me. I try and shut my feelings with logic.
What do you do when you feel this way?
Talk to a friend, or family member!
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Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
Probably gonna delete later, enjoy it while it lasts. :/
Yes, especially right now. A lot of it is just me hating myself and projecting on other people though. What gives me the right to assume anyone would like me? I'm cynical, a difficult and unresponsive friend, and I'm just kind of a broken human being?
I especially hate feeling like I'll never achieve certain goals of mine because I percieve people hate me and think I'm incompetent. But that's not fair to them either, that's just deflecting onto something else. The core problem and common denominator is me and how much I despise the person I am.
Probably gonna delete later, enjoy it while it lasts. :/
Yes, especially right now. A lot of it is just me hating myself and projecting on other people though. What gives me the right to assume anyone would like me? I'm cynical, a difficult and unresponsive friend, and I'm just kind of a broken human being?
I especially hate feeling like I'll never achieve certain goals of mine because I percieve people hate me and think I'm incompetent. But that's not fair to them either, that's just deflecting onto something else. The core problem and common denominator is me and how much I despise the person I am.
Dragon
lover of milotics
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Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
Yeah... constantly. Like I'm always forgotten about, or even ignored and often a while, I just feel like I'm in this... lonely depressed bubble that I can't really escape from. And the more I think about it, I just wonder how much of it is my fault... like I don't feel attractive appearance wise which is especially apparent whenever it's something simple like posting my pic here on PC or just in general, I worry that I'm just too jarring sometimes and I just can't help but dislike myself for many things.
But I try keeping my mind off of thoughts like this by doing things that I like but sometimes it just doesn't... work, yknow? Like it can even influence my work, and no matter how much I try to let it go it just feels worse. It's probably weird for me feeling this way, like I have just a few friends who I'd feel comfortable confiding with, a loving girlfriend and a nice family, but... idk these thoughts just keep crawling back over and over.
Yeah... constantly. Like I'm always forgotten about, or even ignored and often a while, I just feel like I'm in this... lonely depressed bubble that I can't really escape from. And the more I think about it, I just wonder how much of it is my fault... like I don't feel attractive appearance wise which is especially apparent whenever it's something simple like posting my pic here on PC or just in general, I worry that I'm just too jarring sometimes and I just can't help but dislike myself for many things.
But I try keeping my mind off of thoughts like this by doing things that I like but sometimes it just doesn't... work, yknow? Like it can even influence my work, and no matter how much I try to let it go it just feels worse. It's probably weird for me feeling this way, like I have just a few friends who I'd feel comfortable confiding with, a loving girlfriend and a nice family, but... idk these thoughts just keep crawling back over and over.
Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
fortunately I've never experienced these feelings much, though I definitely understand that it must be so, so hard for those who do. I have friends who feel this way often enough and it makes me sad I can't do much except offer reassurance when they need it :( mental health can be so tough.
my anxiety/stress has been spiking recently because of the loss of a pet and travel uncertainties. looks like if I want to visit my bf I'll have to fly to a country that doesn't ban US citizens (Namibia seems the most likely for several reasons), stay there for 10+ days, get tested for COVID twice (once on day 5 and once before departure), then fly over to where he is. and that includes two layovers too. each of the 3 flights will be 6-7 hours, and the whole thing will be $1,500+ at the very least. oof..
fortunately I've never experienced these feelings much, though I definitely understand that it must be so, so hard for those who do. I have friends who feel this way often enough and it makes me sad I can't do much except offer reassurance when they need it :( mental health can be so tough.
my anxiety/stress has been spiking recently because of the loss of a pet and travel uncertainties. looks like if I want to visit my bf I'll have to fly to a country that doesn't ban US citizens (Namibia seems the most likely for several reasons), stay there for 10+ days, get tested for COVID twice (once on day 5 and once before departure), then fly over to where he is. and that includes two layovers too. each of the 3 flights will be 6-7 hours, and the whole thing will be $1,500+ at the very least. oof..
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I'm sorry for your loss, Sheep. Losing a pet is always awful.
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Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
to put this simply i've contemplated leaving this site and deleting my discord account because of how awful i've felt over this. i try not to think about myself since my self-loathing is Very Powerful, but there you go. it's no doubt that some people dislike me -- 15 and a half years is a hell of a long time, and there are certain things i wish i could take back -- but what can you do, really. day by day i wish i was as likeable and popular as some other people here, but i'm not a likeable person and indeed im quite Awful. it has gotten to the point where i've gotten very dark thoughts about harming myself. thankfully i have enough self control... for now, at least.
but yknow some people have that positive exuberance, i suppose and people are drawn to them because of that. i wish so badly i were them. but i guess that's not in the cards for me.
to put this simply i've contemplated leaving this site and deleting my discord account because of how awful i've felt over this. i try not to think about myself since my self-loathing is Very Powerful, but there you go. it's no doubt that some people dislike me -- 15 and a half years is a hell of a long time, and there are certain things i wish i could take back -- but what can you do, really. day by day i wish i was as likeable and popular as some other people here, but i'm not a likeable person and indeed im quite Awful. it has gotten to the point where i've gotten very dark thoughts about harming myself. thankfully i have enough self control... for now, at least.
but yknow some people have that positive exuberance, i suppose and people are drawn to them because of that. i wish so badly i were them. but i guess that's not in the cards for me.
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I thought about this for some hours now and I feel like joining this club right here. It feels reassuring to know there's a place where I can run to when I need it, and where I know there are some amazing people already! Why is that exactly, though? I'll try to give some backstory.
What lead me to consider joining here was a... pretty stupid mistake on my side when it comes to university logistics. Pretty much telling people whether or not I want to do a certain course. I tried to email a professor because I feel like that's the only possible way to get things sorted out, but the wait is literally killing me! And I know because I've spent most of today doing... not much at all. And what this has made me realize is...
Catastrophic thinking is something that I definitely tend to do when something like this happens. For all I know, my worries could be totally be justified, but more often than not this just makes me act irrationally and impulsively, making things worse than they already are... not to mention, it just makes me so anxious! And on the other side of things, the "Imposter Syndrome", the act of underestimating your own abilities and skills, is definitely something I end up doing too, from time to time. I still don't know too much about myself to come to any conclusion about this, and I also have never tried to find professional help for the time being, but I hope that staying here in this club will help me and make me more aware of my own mental state... all the while I can try to support all of you, hopefully.
I've avoided this club for the most part, thinking that my own issues weren't that important to begin with, but I feel like that is a wrong mindset to have in general, and I think coming here will be the better option.
Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
I personally wouldn't say everyone, but I think I get that feeling sometimes, at least with some specific people, and it feels like there really is no solution: it's just destiny to find people you will not get along with sooner or later. The feeling I may get more often, though, is... just indifference from people and especially friends. As in, they just don't see you as that important of a person in their life, somehow.
What lead me to consider joining here was a... pretty stupid mistake on my side when it comes to university logistics. Pretty much telling people whether or not I want to do a certain course. I tried to email a professor because I feel like that's the only possible way to get things sorted out, but the wait is literally killing me! And I know because I've spent most of today doing... not much at all. And what this has made me realize is...
Catastrophic thinking is something that I definitely tend to do when something like this happens. For all I know, my worries could be totally be justified, but more often than not this just makes me act irrationally and impulsively, making things worse than they already are... not to mention, it just makes me so anxious! And on the other side of things, the "Imposter Syndrome", the act of underestimating your own abilities and skills, is definitely something I end up doing too, from time to time. I still don't know too much about myself to come to any conclusion about this, and I also have never tried to find professional help for the time being, but I hope that staying here in this club will help me and make me more aware of my own mental state... all the while I can try to support all of you, hopefully.
I've avoided this club for the most part, thinking that my own issues weren't that important to begin with, but I feel like that is a wrong mindset to have in general, and I think coming here will be the better option.
Do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things?
I personally wouldn't say everyone, but I think I get that feeling sometimes, at least with some specific people, and it feels like there really is no solution: it's just destiny to find people you will not get along with sooner or later. The feeling I may get more often, though, is... just indifference from people and especially friends. As in, they just don't see you as that important of a person in their life, somehow.
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Really struggling lately. My anxiety has been so out of control that it's been hard to do anything, let alone things that I usually enjoy doing. On top of that I've been getting really intense mood swings that keep me from reaching out because I'm convinced it's all just drama fabricated in my head and I'll lash out at my support network or just end up catatonic.
I'm just so tired, you know? Like I wake up exhausted and just begging for sleep to find me again.
I'm just so tired, you know? Like I wake up exhausted and just begging for sleep to find me again.
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welp, the last few weeks proved to be very very difficult.
tw: suicide (some very heavy stuff here so PLEASE dont read this unless you're in a good enough place to cope with reading that), addiction
if anyone feels like they might be able to help me or just be a friend, please please please don't hesitate to send me a VM or PM or something cause im in quite a lonely and difficult period right now. returning to PC yet again as an appeal to comfort from my earlier years.
tw: suicide (some very heavy stuff here so PLEASE dont read this unless you're in a good enough place to cope with reading that), addiction
Spoiler:
if anyone feels like they might be able to help me or just be a friend, please please please don't hesitate to send me a VM or PM or something cause im in quite a lonely and difficult period right now. returning to PC yet again as an appeal to comfort from my earlier years.
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My country is in some sort of "semi hibernating" state. Not sure if it can really described as a lockdown. Thing is: we got a really light one in November. When nothing changed it continued throughout December, closing all shops not considered essential. When things didn't change (no thanks to the people going skiing and stuff) it continued throughout January and just this week it got prolonged to at least February. Also masked made out of regular cloth are not enough, anymore. So now it's medical masks minimum and damn are they expensive...especially fun for people who find themselves unemployed. Also when the government tells companies to offer Home Office "if possible" you can probably tell what "possible" entails.
But to be fair: I'm actually taking it fairly well. Maybe it's because my life didn't really change much compared to before the pandemic, except with the mask wearing outside. Isolation isn't as much on an issue, ironically. Maybe it's because I've experience isolation way worse before? Also still being employed helps.
But I know that the people in my country grow tired even more so with every new "we need to continue this for another month". It wouldn't surprise me this went on until March or April, tbh.
Well, other than that: it's still all about self improving. Continuing from last year and stuff. Me not meeting people really is mostly just because I don't have anyone to meet. xD
So, trying to be less annoying and "getting some sort of actual personality" as opposed to exist because I haven't died, yet. As someone who spends a lot of time on the internet I always get sad when I see how people seem to get along so well and have fun and stuff. I still don't know how the whole "friendships" thing works. And it stings a little especially when seeing those people who found themselves in a relationship or even plan to marry.
If you want to mess with me real hard and cause some real depression just tell me to get a girlfriend. <_<
I'm also still way to sensitive to sound from my neighbors which can make me really uncontrollably angry, still. So, yeah, I know a bunch of issues I need to work out. Still looking for ways to accomplish something.
Anyway, here's a question:
Do you have plans for the year to keep your spirits up?
But to be fair: I'm actually taking it fairly well. Maybe it's because my life didn't really change much compared to before the pandemic, except with the mask wearing outside. Isolation isn't as much on an issue, ironically. Maybe it's because I've experience isolation way worse before? Also still being employed helps.
But I know that the people in my country grow tired even more so with every new "we need to continue this for another month". It wouldn't surprise me this went on until March or April, tbh.
Well, other than that: it's still all about self improving. Continuing from last year and stuff. Me not meeting people really is mostly just because I don't have anyone to meet. xD
So, trying to be less annoying and "getting some sort of actual personality" as opposed to exist because I haven't died, yet. As someone who spends a lot of time on the internet I always get sad when I see how people seem to get along so well and have fun and stuff. I still don't know how the whole "friendships" thing works. And it stings a little especially when seeing those people who found themselves in a relationship or even plan to marry.
If you want to mess with me real hard and cause some real depression just tell me to get a girlfriend. <_<
I'm also still way to sensitive to sound from my neighbors which can make me really uncontrollably angry, still. So, yeah, I know a bunch of issues I need to work out. Still looking for ways to accomplish something.
Anyway, here's a question:
Do you have plans for the year to keep your spirits up?
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So I have had General Anxiety Disorder since I can remember, starting getting panic attacks when I was 4 or 5, because I had shitty abusive parents, which can cause GAD. They never took me to see anyone about it because my dad thought I was just being soft so it wasn't up until a few years ago I really tried to figure out what was going on with me. I got misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder because it runs on my mom's side of the family and the doctor had just put in his two weeks so I think he was just phoning it in. After one session with him, he put me on lithium and sent me on my way.
Once the Rona hit and I had to stay home all day everyday, I did a lot of research into psychology and even busted out my old psych books and it was very evident that I have GAD and not Bipolar disorder. I also have low DHEA levels which can lead to lower testosterone so that with the GAD (and sleep anxiety) actually did mirror some Bipolar symptoms. I did a bunch of blood work and some thyroid ultrasounds and my new physician put me on DHEA. As with the GAD, I am not really willing to be medicated again right now so I just deal with it, knowing about it and trying to slow my heart rate when I start to feel anxious has been very helpful and smoking a bowl before bed helps with not being able to sleep.
My anxiety was really bad the last couple of months with Trump being a fuckhead and I was even get bad heartburn from my anxiety. Now that he is out of office, I have felt a huge sense of relief that I didn't think I would feel.
Once the Rona hit and I had to stay home all day everyday, I did a lot of research into psychology and even busted out my old psych books and it was very evident that I have GAD and not Bipolar disorder. I also have low DHEA levels which can lead to lower testosterone so that with the GAD (and sleep anxiety) actually did mirror some Bipolar symptoms. I did a bunch of blood work and some thyroid ultrasounds and my new physician put me on DHEA. As with the GAD, I am not really willing to be medicated again right now so I just deal with it, knowing about it and trying to slow my heart rate when I start to feel anxious has been very helpful and smoking a bowl before bed helps with not being able to sleep.
My anxiety was really bad the last couple of months with Trump being a fuckhead and I was even get bad heartburn from my anxiety. Now that he is out of office, I have felt a huge sense of relief that I didn't think I would feel.
Hello,
My name is Leaf and I suffer from C-PTSD due to people online and a few in person hurting me badly to traumatically all my life. So you can say I don't trust people nor like being around them, even fear them as well. However I joined here to practice my social skills in communicating in this community with people to see what happens. I'm not desperate for friendships nor romantic relationships if it happens, it happens is my motto. I like to take my time getting to know others as well, I know how to read people extremely well too. I speak my mind and not afraid too you like it or you don't. I also don't sugar coat things either, I'm 100% real with people and I'm always my true authentic self with anyone I speak to and get to know.
Other mental health :
Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Insomnia, Chronic Nightmares ( due to C-PTSD ), Bipolar, Argropohbia and Anthropophobia
**Side Note
I would go more into detail about myself and what I've endured, though I rather tell others if I want me to tell them in private. I hope you all can understand and respect that. It's extremely sensitive and triggering possibly to some people about my life story sad but the truth.
I'm still 5 years in my journey of healing and doing tremendously well. I'm happy I found a truly fantastic and lovely therapist who is helping me so much with my struggles with my mental health. including my C-PTSD with people and my fear and lack of trust with them.
I'm a extremely optimistic, positive and compassionate person now and not like how I used to be when I was younger. I was dinosed with mental health issues at age 13 so pretty much my whole life I had it. That's all I like to add so thank you for listening, I appreciate it everyone please take care.
My name is Leaf and I suffer from C-PTSD due to people online and a few in person hurting me badly to traumatically all my life. So you can say I don't trust people nor like being around them, even fear them as well. However I joined here to practice my social skills in communicating in this community with people to see what happens. I'm not desperate for friendships nor romantic relationships if it happens, it happens is my motto. I like to take my time getting to know others as well, I know how to read people extremely well too. I speak my mind and not afraid too you like it or you don't. I also don't sugar coat things either, I'm 100% real with people and I'm always my true authentic self with anyone I speak to and get to know.
Other mental health :
Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Insomnia, Chronic Nightmares ( due to C-PTSD ), Bipolar, Argropohbia and Anthropophobia
**Side Note
I would go more into detail about myself and what I've endured, though I rather tell others if I want me to tell them in private. I hope you all can understand and respect that. It's extremely sensitive and triggering possibly to some people about my life story sad but the truth.
I'm still 5 years in my journey of healing and doing tremendously well. I'm happy I found a truly fantastic and lovely therapist who is helping me so much with my struggles with my mental health. including my C-PTSD with people and my fear and lack of trust with them.
I'm a extremely optimistic, positive and compassionate person now and not like how I used to be when I was younger. I was dinosed with mental health issues at age 13 so pretty much my whole life I had it. That's all I like to add so thank you for listening, I appreciate it everyone please take care.
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I recieved a PM saying this club had won an award: https://i.postimg.cc/26f9PbYt/z8xn6bn-2.gif
I'm honoured to have created this club and to hear it's helped so many people. :) Thank you to everyone who's joiend this club.
I decided to donate the club award prize.
I'm honoured to have created this club and to hear it's helped so many people. :) Thank you to everyone who's joiend this club.
I decided to donate the club award prize.
The mental health club is definitely a great place, and I'm happy to see it here even now. <3
I've had... mixed days. Lately I find myself swallowing nothing a lot the more anxious I am, and I wish I could break that habit completely but it feels so hard. Been over a year now since I started behaving that way all of a sudden in February. Haven't actively taken my anxiety supplement for a year+ now too though, and sometimes I wonder if I should go back to it if it could improve this stuff. But idk. The pills I have expire next month and I'm abroad in a country they don't ship to. I guess like..mentally I don't feel bad enough to take them but....some days are still tough. Maybe I'll look into taking my ashwagandha as a lighter version/replacement instead, since I don't think I need anything too strong.
I've had... mixed days. Lately I find myself swallowing nothing a lot the more anxious I am, and I wish I could break that habit completely but it feels so hard. Been over a year now since I started behaving that way all of a sudden in February. Haven't actively taken my anxiety supplement for a year+ now too though, and sometimes I wonder if I should go back to it if it could improve this stuff. But idk. The pills I have expire next month and I'm abroad in a country they don't ship to. I guess like..mentally I don't feel bad enough to take them but....some days are still tough. Maybe I'll look into taking my ashwagandha as a lighter version/replacement instead, since I don't think I need anything too strong.