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[Pokémon] The Aura Stone

Rick Gastly

Memes Straight Outta 2007
238
Posts
7
Years
A new story i've written.


Chapter One:
This Is Your Life


"Okay, class, today we're going to talk about the Crimean War." The history teacher droned in a monotonous voice. "Now, in 1853..."

Ugh, history class is the WORST! It's incredibly boring and monotonous, and none of it has any use in real life. Like, why do we need to know about the leaders of the Ottoman Empire, or what were the causes of World War I? I could get along just fine without knowing, thank you.

Oh, hello there, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sam Chandler. I am 16 years old, and live in New York City. I'm kind of a loner, I only have a few friends, though we have a very good bond, and have been together since Kindergarten. However, for the most part I like being alone, listening to music, usually classic heavy metal. I also play some video games, such as Super Smash Bros and occasionally Pokemon. So yeah, I don't have a very exciting life but I don't really mind.

Thankfully, this was my last class of the day. After the droning lecture finally came to a close, the bell rang, and I went off to my bus. I got a seat next to my best friend, Tim.

Ever since kindergarten, we've been near inseparable, much more like brothers. Over the summer, we hung out pretty much every day, and know almost everything about ourselves. On the bus ride, we chatted about usual stuff, like games and music. We also discussed plans for having a big Pokemon battle with me, him, and my other friends which would happen on Friday. While i'm not the biggest fan, I like a lot of Pokemon, such as Grovyle, Luxray, and Toucannon, but my very favorite is Scyther, it looks so cool! Anywho, after discussing those and other things, the bus got at my stop, and I went home.

Walking home, however, something caught my eye.

On the curb of the sidewalk, a stone was sitting there. It was colored blue, with a black stripe running down the middle of it. The stone shone in the light, and I could see white flecks on it. It really was a lovely stone. I did what the average person would in this kind of situation, and picked it up. It felt very smooth to the touch. I was definitely going to bring it home, my parents would likely think it's pretty.

All of a sudden, a blinding flash emitted from the rock. I jumped back in shock, landing hard on my behind. I picked myself up, very confused. Then, things got even WEIRDER. Bolts of energy started streaming from the stone, and went inside of me, giving me a big stinging pain, I screamed in terror and pain. They continued for about a minute, and I think I even heard voices. However, after all that weirdness, the bolts of energy finally died down, and things settled back to normal.

"What on earth was THAT?" I questioned to no one in particular.

I was very confused as to what those bolts of energy were. Was the rock from another planet or something? I couldn't really think of any earth rock that could send out bolts of light. Was it not a rock at all? Were the bolts of energy just an illusion? The questions kept buzzing around my head and no answers were coming.

I decided to put them to bed by telling myself that it was actually a mirage and nothing weird happened. However, just to be safe I decided not to take the rock home. It would look pretty cool and my parents would probably like it, but I didn't want to risk anything else weird happening.

I checked myself over head to toe, to make sure it didn't like transform me or anything, everything seemed normal. So, I finished my walk home.

I got home to silence, my parents didn't get home until a few hours later. I went upstairs in my room, put on headphones and listened to one of my favorite songs, Straight Through The Heart by Dio. I really got into it with the music, singing along quite loudly (Thankfully I was alone), and really rocking out. I did what I usually did on a Tuesday afternoon, did homework, listened to more music, and played some Pokemon. Not the most exciting life, ain't it?

However, while doing this I started noticing a weird feeling. It wasn't bad, but it felt like butterflies in my stomach. It started out mild but grew as the afternoon went on, and it soon became really aggravating and annoying. I went downstairs to get some stomach medicine. Unfortunately, it was in liquid form, and tasted revolting. However, it did make the weird feeling in my stomach go away.

Around that time, my parents got home. They prepared dinner for me. It was pasta.

Normally, I didn't really eat the pasta that fast, it wasn't really my Favorite food, though I did like it. However, for some reason, today I felt really hungry. I couldn't really think of much other than "I GOT TO EAT THIS". I wolfed down the pasta. Usually it took me 10-20 minutes to finish but this time it only took me 2! My parents were shocked and so was I (And frankly we were kinda grossed out, as I was practically drooling before eating).

"You're... one hungry guy today" My dad hestitantly replied.

"I guess so" I replied sheepishly, shrugging.

After that, we went our separate ways once again, I went upstairs, where I chatted with friends online, continuing planning the big Pokemon tournament.

While doing so, however, I noticed the funny feeling in my stomach again. It was stronger than before, in fact it almost felt painful. I thought it was just a stomachache from eating so fast, so I brushed it off. I continued to listen to music while chatting about various topics.

Eventually, by around 9:00, however, the feeling didn't go away. It wasn't quite as bad as before but still very bothersome. I decided to sleep it off, thinking it would be better in the morning. I informed my parents that I was going to bed, and then I did my usual nightly routine, brushing my teeth and washing my face. When looking at my face in the mirror, I noticed something odd.

My normal black hair seemed to have blue streaks in it. Not really too noticeable, but they were definitely there. I tried washing it out, but no matter how hard I scrubbed the streaks remained.

"Strange." I muttered. "These weren't there before".

I thought back to the gem incident earlier this afternoon. Could this be caused by that? Will it get worse? These thoughts continued to buzz through my head as I climbed into bed.

When I got into bed, I had trouble falling asleep for a while, the nagging pain in my stomach joined by a slight tingling throughout my body, but eventually I managed to drift away into a peaceful sleep.
 
Last edited:
37,467
Posts
16
Years
  • Age 34
  • Seen Jan 2, 2024
Hi! Your story has a nice beginning, intriguing! Your language and writing is nice too. A few things to think about though is an old classic tip: show, don't tell. You start the story off with stating a lot of things about your character and his friend, like his favorite pok?mon unprompted, saying he's a loner instead of convincing us through events that he actually is. Consider weaving information about the characters into the story more naturally, to make the reader feel like they are getting to know the person instead of having an essay of facts showed into their faces, to put it bluntly c:
 

Rick Gastly

Memes Straight Outta 2007
238
Posts
7
Years
Story has been retitled "The Aura Stone", to better reflect direction.
Chapter Two: Signs
The next morning, I woke up with a splitting headache, but at least my stomach-ache was gone. However, I felt strange. Not a sick kind of strange, but I just felt weird, like something was off. I shrugged off the feeling, thinking it was just tiredness, and took a shower. I stepped out, dried myself off, and screamed.

My brown hair was blue!

Not only that, but when I was running my hands through it, it felt a lot softer than my normal hair. Almost like... fur.

I thought back to the stone I found yesterday, and what I had felt afterwards. "Was the stone responsible for this?" I thought to myself. It must be, but what kind of a stone makes hair blue? And is this the only change? But then a more immediate issue came to my attention. "I've got to hide this!" I thought. But how?

I originally considered wearing a hat, at first, I had a good array of hats that I could use. However, my parents would probably get suspicious, after all, I didn't wear hats every day, or any day for that matter. So scratch that. Next solution: Pass it off as hair dye? Maybe, but as far as I know we do not own any blue hair dye. But as soon as I was about to submit into telling my parents, I remembered: We own brown hair dye! I could just use that and cover it up.

I rummaged around the drawers in the bathroom, until I found what I was looking for, a bottle of brown hair dye. My mom always used it because her hair was graying, and it worked well, so I figured it was worth a shot. I opened the bottle, and rubbed it in. It worked like a charm! Instantly my hair returned to its natural brown. However, there were a few blue streaks that shone through, I hoped people wouldn't notice.

I had to hurry to finish my morning routine, and with the scare done, I managed to do so well.

Eating breakfast, once again I noticed that I was hungrier than normal, as I shoveled down the food quick. Off the top of my head, I don't know any stones that cause increased appetite and changed hair color. Maybe I should research this. But not on WebMD, they'll probably say it's cancer or something. Sorry for the tangent!

Anywho, after doing all my normal morning stuff, I caught the bus just in time. The bus ride was normal, as I talked with my close friends, about Pokemon and stuff, like normal. As I got off the bus, I felt an itch at the back of my leg, and scratched it. What I didn't know was that a small patch of black fur was sprouting there.

Walking into the hallways of the school, Jo, a girl in some of my classes, was walking alongside me, though not too close. She was in a few of my classes, but I didn't know her very well. However, today there was something about her that caught my eye, or rather, my nose. Sniffing the air, I soon figured out what it was, and uttered an incredibly embarrassing reference.

"Hey, you smell good. Is that your boy's cologne?"

She did not seem to be flattered by that comment, as she turned towards me and gave a "What's wrong with you?" look, and walked away a bit faster. As she walked away, I was left kinda confused by how I noticed the cologne. She wasn't really that near me, and I didn't notice it when I was near her in class. Has my nose always been that sensitive? I wouldn't think it would be so strong. Man, things are getting pretty odd lately. And it all started with that weird stone...

Nonetheless, I went off to my first class, Algebra. Thankfully, the class went smoothly, as nothing weird happened. The following two classes, History and English, went well too. But I wasn't lulled into a false sense of security just yet, as yet another weird occurrence took place. While walking down the hallways after English, I suddenly felt a monster headache. Groaning in pain, I sat down and closed my eyes, waiting for it to pass. As the pain receded, I heard a voice.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone inquire. I slowly opened my eyes, and saw the figure of a girl. But there was something off about what I saw. She seemed to be surrounded by a blue glow. I gave a hard blink and her figure returned to normal.

"Oh, i'm… fine" I lied. "I just had a bad headache".

"Do you need to go down to the nurse's office?" She asked. I considered, but I realized the nurse likely wouldn't believe my story about the stone, or the blue hair. "No, i'm going to be alright". I answered.

"Um, okay then". She said, somewhat skeptical.

I tried to rationalize what had just happened. It couldn't have been the stone, what kind of stone has all these effects? Maybe the stone was some magic rock, or something, but magic doesn't exist in real life! Does it?

Collecting myself after the incident, I headed off to lunch. Getting to the cafeteria, I found that the food for today was the "mystery meat". Great. The only "mystery" in that thing is how they managed to make it taste so bad. But today, as soon as they plopped it down on my tray, something came over me. I suddenly felt really hungry for it, so hungry for it that I practically even started drooling. Someone in the back of me snapped me out of my trance.

"Umm, Sam, move up! You're blocking the line!" I didn't know who said it, so I turned around, seeing the face of classmate Nick. But when I did, a low, almost feral growl rumbled from the back of my throat, surprising me, and apparently him, as his eyes widened. I quickly walked away.

What was happening to me? None of this behavior was remotely normal for me. Was I turning into some kind of werewolf? I mean, the increased appetite, more sensitive senses, and behavior at lunch line all match up with symptoms i've seen in lots of movies. But they can't be real! I really needed answers, because this was getting too bizarre.

After hesitantly eating my food (I had snapped out of the odd behavior at the lunch line) It was off to Science class. I was seriously starting to consider seeing the nurse about all the odd things that have happened today, but my symptoms didn't match any illness I knew. Thankfully, there were no weird signs for the first 10 minutes of class, and I started to calm down.

However, midway through, the uneasy feeling in my stomach from yesterday returned, only significantly stronger, I almost felt nauseous. I clutched my stomach, groaning in pain, and waited for the pain to pass, but it didn't recede.

I then felt Tim tap on my shoulder. "Umm, Sam, are you okay?" He inquired.

Despite the fact I was far from normal, I lied "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I don't think your legs have been that...hairy, before." He replied. I was puzzled.

"Umm, Tim, what are you talking abou…" I started, but then I looked down and couldn't believe my eyes.

On my legs, which were once fairly smooth, spots on them were getting covered with black hair, and it was growing, fast. And to make matters even worse, my feet were starting to feel very tight in my shoes.

I broke out into a sweat as I saw my body changing before my eyes. I knew it had to be the stone that I found yesterday, there was no other explanation! All the odd signs throughout the last day or so, the increased appetite, the blue hair, the more sensitive nose, the odd pains, were all warnings of this! The stone was changing me into some kind of creature!

As soon as I realized this, my body went into panic mode. I had to get out of here. I couldn't let people witness whatever was going on with me. Trying to stifle a scream, I hastily bolted out of the classroom, ignoring Tim's concerned voice calling my name.

I ran like my life depended on it, breathing heavily. I ignored the stares and calls from other students. I had to hide. Thankfully, just a bit down the hall was a bathroom, and I hastily ran inside and slammed the door.

I sat down on the floor, the black hair had now covered both my legs. I screamed in both pain and horror as my body started to take the form of something that shouldn't exist...
 

Vragon

Guest
0
Posts
Okay, let me start off by saying I was pretty impressed with the writing style for this chapter. I enjoyed the natural way of writing it with a hint of whimsical subtlety something I like a bit. I would like to point some things out though.

I originally considered wearing a hat, at first, I had a good array of hats that I could use. However, my parents would probably get suspicious, after all, I didn't wear hats every day, or any day for that matter
You state you considered wearing a hat then go over to your selection of hats. This is fine save for the second comma. From what I can tell the array of hats and your idea to wear a hat are supposed to be linked with the "at first". This doesn't work though and makes the sentence a little awkward if not split into 2 sentence.You see both sentences are independent and don't have a linker so I'd advise using one of my favorite extinct punctuation mark, the semicolon. It'll help in the reading of this section without you having to change the words stated.

"...wearing a hat, at first; I had a good array of hats"
Course you can also solve this by a little sentence arranging so that it's 2 sentences instead of 1, but whatever dots you 'i'.

"Oh, i'm… fine" I lied. "I just had a bad headache".
Whenever the word "I" is used, even with an apostrophe to mean another word, you capitalize it. Also, I'd like to say that, t keep consistent with the dialogue punctuation, you probably want to keep the periods and commas inside the quotation marks. I had to learn this too so bear with me. Use a comma, after fine since you are splitting the dialogue with the "I lied".

I know I've been mainly harping on grammar, but now I'd like to address the bigger thing I noticed.

I thought back to the stone I found yesterday, and what I had felt afterwards. "Was the stone responsible for this?" I thought to myself. It must be, but what kind of a stone makes hair blue? And is this the only change? But then a more immediate issue came to my attention. "I've got to hide this!" I thought. But how?

Eating breakfast, once again I noticed that I was hungrier than normal, as I shoveled down the food quick. Off the top of my head, I don't know any stones that cause increased appetite and changed hair color. Maybe I should research this. But not on WebMD, they'll probably say it's cancer or something. Sorry for the tangent!


Has my nose always been that sensitive? I wouldn't think it would be so strong. Man, things are getting pretty odd lately. And it all started with that weird stone...


I tried to rationalize what had just happened. It couldn't have been the stone, what kind of stone has all these effects? Maybe the stone was some magic rock, or something, but magic doesn't exist in real life! Does it?

These I believe are all the instances you mention the rock, in order. So the problem is this, the first two times you mention it you set up a questioning, if it is indeed the cause. This is a good set-up. Now the third part, you assume that it started with that weird stone, implying you've concluded that it is indeed the cause or at least some event that was part of the cause. Fast forward to section 4 and you start rationalizing about the stone and how it couldn't do that.

Now the issue I see is the jump from 3 and 4. From where you assume the stone started this and yet question it later. In my opinion, I'd reword section 3 to be like the others. Not only does that section mess with the subject of 4, but it also isn't like the others in flow (Questioning on "what stone" does this).

All in all, besides a few typos and other grammar issues, some minor and others just related to what I've said earlier you end with an overall good chapter. I liked the well tied in parts of the transformation coinciding with your day. I also, enjoyed some the humor bits.

Overall this was a good read and keep up the good work.
 
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Bay

6,381
Posts
17
Years
Hi there! Sorry I haven't gotten to check this until now, just been very distracted/busy.

Real quick on grammar, I've noticed that you sometimes lowercase "i'm" and "i've". You're supposed to capitalize the I to "I'm" and "I've."

I do agree with the pacing of the beginning could be worked better. The mention of Sam and his interests/hobbies have been repeated a few times within a few paragraphs. You could have shown Sam's personality a bit more with having the beginning be Sam talking to his friend and show it through their conversation and Sam's body language/reactions.

I thought the first chapter's first ending and second chapter's pacing was better on how Sam noticed the subtle changes happening and the reaction from his family, friends, and students there. I admit transformation fics aren't something I read all that often, but I think I'll keep an eye on this.
 

Rick Gastly

Memes Straight Outta 2007
238
Posts
7
Years
Chapter Three: "Change And Comfort"

Author's Note: Perhaps we should show this change through another perspective?

(Tim's P.O.V)

It's not everyday you see your best friend growing fur on his legs.

Me and Sam have always been very close, sometimes even like brothers. We always looked out for each-other and helped pick eachother up when we were feeling down. And today was no exception, though under the weirdest circumstances possible.

Today started out as a pretty ordinary day for me. On the bus ride, me and Sam talked about what we normally did, whether it be Pokemon or music, including planning for our big Pokemon tournament that was going to happen in 2 days. I didn't notice anything off about Sam at that time, he was talking with me normally. However, as we got off the bus, I thought I saw a blue streak in his hair. I figured it was just a trick of the light, he never dyed it before, so why would it be different now?

I went through the first half of the day, going through French, followed by Global History, Trigonometry, Lunch, and then Gym. Then came the class me and Sam shared, Science, and that's where things got weird.

The class started out normally, with me taking notes while the teacher droned on. I was seated behind Sam. However, midway through the class, I noticed something didn't seem right with him. He seemed to be in discomfort, holding his stomach, which I figured was in pain. I was going to ask him if he was okay, or if he needed to go to the nurse's office, but then I looked down and noticed something much more troubling.

On Sam's legs, what appeared to be patches of black hair were growing, and fast. But they didn't look like normal hairs, more like fur. Okay, that's definitely not normal. Is he some kind of midday werewolf or something? Is he going through puberty again? I had no idea what was going on, so I decided to get Sam's attention. I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Uh, Sam, are you okay?" I asked.

Though I was certain he was not okay, he responded "Umm... yeah. Why?".

I then informed him: "As far as I know, your legs haven't been this... hairy, before."

Sam seemed very puzzled at that. "Hairy? W-what are you talking..." But he then looked down, and saw the still growing fur on his legs. He seemed to break out into a sweat, and probably not wanting to make a scene, bolted out of the door. What was happening to my friend?

"Sam, wait up!" I called out. But by that point he was already well out the door. I decided to follow him for myself. I might be invading his privacy, but what do you expect? I see my best friend turning into some animal or something and I don't see what's going on? I ran off after him, but I couldn't see him. However, I stopped in front of a men's bathroom when I heard a voice.

"Why is this happening? Aah! It hurts!". It sounded like Sam! From the tone of his voice he sounded like he was in pain. I opened the bathroom door, and gasped in shock.

Sam was lying on the floor, an expression of both pain and shock on his face. His legs, by this point, had completely covered in black fur. And his feet were no longer human, either. They were also covered with the black fur, and they had also reshapen, forming animalistic, three-toed...paws.

"Oh my god." I said softly. "W-what's happening to you?" I asked in disbelief.

"I-I don't know!" Sam said in similar panic. "I found this weird stone yesterday, and since then weird things have been happening, and now this!" I could hear him struggling to hide his pain and shock in his voice. "Don't just stand there, do something!" he screamed out. I could also see fur was starting to grow on his arms as well, black at the front and blue further back.

I was feeling very sorry for him, he seemed really freaked out and in pain. (Though to be fair you'd be if this happened to you) Even though I still had no clue what was happening and how it was, I tried to comfort him. I sat down next to Sam.

"If I could stop this I would! But I have no idea how this is happening to you. Just...try to hang in there. I have a feeling you're gonna be fine."

My words didn't seem to calm him down. "I'm gonna be fine? I'm gonna be fine? I'm turning into...some kind of animal, and you tell me i'm gonna be...Aah!" he screamed again. "What?" I asked in concern. "My legs...they feel like they're growing!" he screeched out. I looked down at his legs, and saw he was right, they were getting dangerously tight in his pants, until soon his pants burst, revealing that the top half of his legs had thickened significantly, and were covered in blue fur.

Another wave of pain then hit Sam, I could tell as he let out another scream. I saw his hands doing a similar thing to his feet, reshaping into three-fingered paws. "The-the pain!" he cried out. "it's unbearable!" "Make this stop!" he cried. I really wished I could do something about this implausible scenario, but I had no idea how to stop it. So I just sat there, comfortingly wrapping one arm around his shoulder, and put my other arm on his back, trying to keep him calm while this unthinkable change was taking place.

He then clutched his right hand in pain, and I saw tears forming at the corners of his eyes. It was not hard to see why, as what looked like a silver spike started pushing it's way out of his right hand. The same thing happened at his left hand. He once again cried out for help, and I once again tried reassuring him.

"It's okay." I stated softly. "You're going to be alright."

But would he be alright? I wasn't so sure.

My grip on him then slipped as Sam doubled over in pain. He tried to say something but the words wouldn't come out. "Sam!" I screamed, the concern and fear showing in my voice.

"T-Tim…" he managed to force out. He pushed himself up, holding his chest. Inferring that something was going on underneath, I lifted up his shirt, and saw that another spike, similar to the ones on his hands, was pushing it's way out of his chest. As well, cream-colored fur was growing, outwards from the spot of the newly-grown spike, and was also growing on his back. His eyes widened at the sight of this. With all these changes to him, I was soon getting an inkling of what was going on with him.

"Oh my god…" I stated quietly. "Sam," I started, putting my hand on his shoulder again, "I think I know what's happening to you!" I said in shock.

"W-what?" Sam asked, the cream fur still growing on his chest.

"You're...you're turning into a Lucario!" I replied. I couldn't believe it myself, I mean Pokemon weren't real! But I couldn't think of any other animal which looked like Sam did.

Sam looked at me in shock, but that quickly turned into a clenched-teeth grimace. I watched in horror as a long, blue-furred tail snaked it's way out of his back, only interrupted by Sam's screams of pain, and calls for help. "Stop this, please!" "I don't want to be a Pokemon!" With everything he said I just felt even worse for him. I didn't know what must have been going through his head. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, holding him close.

Soon, I heard Sam grunting in pain, which sounded a bit more canine than before, as the final changes took place. I watched, still holding his shoulder, as his face pushed out into a long, canine muzzle, teeth sharpening into fangs. Blue and black fur grew over this as well. His ears moved to the top of his head, and grew into points. Where his hair once was there was fur, and three dreadlock-like aura sensors grew out of it. Lastly, Sam shut his eyes.

"No, not the eyes!" he cried. When he opened them, they were red.

The transformation was done. Where Sam once was was a spitting image of a Lucario. Thoughts were buzzing around my head, interrupted when I heard a sob, which sounded a bit closer to a dog-like whimper. I turned and saw Sam's lip quivering, obviously trying to hold back tears. "Are you...okay?" I spoke, reminding myself that this Lucario was my best friend.

Only one word escaped from his mouth. "N-no". Then it seemed as though panic set in. "How did this happen? Who made this happen? How will my family react? How will the other students react? Will I still be able to go to school? Will I still be able to even live my life? Then, the floodgates opened. Sam grabbed me, and started sobbing into my chest. I was taken aback by this display of emotion, and tried to calm him down, placing a hand on his back.

"Hey, it's alright...I don't care if you're a Pokemon or whatever. It's what's on the inside that matters, and you're still you."

My words didn't calm him down much. "B-but i'm a freak!" he said between sobs. "I'm a Lucario, something that isn't supposed to exist!" "I don't want to be a Pokemon!" "I didn't even know I could be one!" "Everyone's gonna think i'm a weirdo!"

Trying to reassure him, I continued "I am just as confused as to how this happened as you are, bro. But even if some people might think you're weird, you're still gonna be my friend, human or Pokemon. And besides, you have to admit that being a real life Pokemon is kinda cool!". He did seem to calm down a bit at that, but still had his face buried in my chest.

We sat like that for a few minutes, me letting the bizarre situation sink in while I continued to give positive platitudes to my Lucario friend. Eventually, he settled down enough to talk to me.

"Maybe...this won't be so bad… I mean after all i'm still human on the inside…" He stated, kinda hesitantly, before taking a few deep breaths. Then, it seemed he realized something important. "So...what do I do now? Should I go home? I mean, i'm not sure if i'm ready to face everyone else…" He said sadly.

I decided to chip in with my two cents. "I think you should go home. I mean, your parents might have a bit of trouble accepting it at first, but it would be more convinient, they could explain it to the school and you wouldn't have to try to awkwardly explain how this happened to everyone."

"Okay." Sam replied, pulling out his phone. He opened up the "texts" app and tried to type to his dad (he worked from home) but he struggled to type with his new paws. Instead, he handed it over to me. I hastily conjured up a text.

"This is Tim. Sam just threw up in the bathroom. Can you pick him up from the school?" Sam just had to roll his eyes at my lame excuse.

Shortly after, his phone buzzed, saying "Poor thing. Don't worry, i'll be there in about 10 minutes."

During the next few minutes, while I should have got back to class, I instead chatted with Sam, helping him calm down now that the bizarre situation was settled. We shared a few humorous anecdotes, such as the time he lost a Pokemon battle, got mad, and threw the 3DS in the trash. He seemed very relaxed and calm, and I was glad about that, given I likely wouldn't if I became a Pokemon.

However, inevitably the conversation then shifted towards his new body. He talked about the bizarre occurances that happened before he changed, such as his increased appetite, new hair color, and animalistic behavior at the lunch line, and expressed some concerns, but also some positives (He said that his fur felt very comfortable, like wearing a robe).

After a while of this, Sam's phone buzzed again, with a text marked "Dad" reading "I'm outside."

"Well, Sam" I stated, "I guess it's time to face your dad. Let's hope he doesn't freak out too much." Sam chucked a bit at that line, and got up.

But before he left, he said one last thing.

"Umm...Tim?" He asked.

"Yes, Sam?"

"I just want to say...thank you, for trying to calm me down when I was...changing. You're such a good friend." He then gave a smile, showing his sharp teeth.

"No problem." I replied. I was going to say "That's what friends are for" but I didn't want to be cliche, so I just waved goodbye, as he left the bathroom.

As I walked to my current class, which was Art, I only hoped he would be okay. I excused my lateness by saying that "my friend got sick" which is true with a certain definition of "sick". The teacher seemed to accept it, and I carried on my day, though still thinking about the bizarre situation that had transpired in the bathroom (That's a rare sentence).
 
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Vragon

Guest
0
Posts
While I did fine this chapter enjoyable as well as Tim's character being well established and executed, I noticed there were more errors with this chapter. I'll point out what I see, but on overall quality the plot of the chapter is nice as well as the retelling from Tim's perspective.
Author's Note: Perhaps we should show this change through another perspective?

(Tim's P.O.V)

It's not everyday you see your best friend growing fur on his legs.
I get you want to introduce Tim's perspective into this, but the line below I see more as a hindrance. Also, you can just merge the (Tim's P.O.V.) with the Author's note and basically have only 1 sentence of all the info you need to say.

On Sam's legs, what appeared to be patches of black hair were growing, and fast. But they didn't look like normal hairs, more like fur. Okay, that's definitely not normal. Is he some kind of midday werewolf or something? Is he going through puberty again? I had no idea what was going on, so I decided to get Sam's attention. I tapped him on the shoulder.
I wanna take a moment to point out your style of humor. I enjoy it. It's that kinda cheesy, but in a laid back way so it doesn't come off as point blank stupid, but rather akin to a bad pun that everyone laughs at. Some of the sentences are a bit ... ehh obvious, namely the "that's definitely not normal" causing me to say, "No s*** Sherlock. Not like you mentioned the hairs weren't normal in the previous sentence." Again, I'm not criticizing the humor; it works well in the blend. But steering clear of some obvious moments that no human would have to think twice to get, would be something I would advise doing.

"Oh my god." I said softly. "W-what's happening to you?" I asked in disbelief.
softly....you say it...softly.....like....I can maybe get confusion... and all from seeing your friend squirming on the ground....but like.....elaborate....why did he say it softly?...Like....I said softly, out of the disbelief... or what not.....you know.....a reason why he isn't screaming out of horror...

Don't just stand there, do something!" he screamed out
You kinda have already established that your "focus on me, reader" words are in italics. Plus, I learned this from others, but the reader won't need such an "In your face" bolding of text to get the main point. In fact, this section might not even need italics, but that depends on how much emphasis you wanna put on it.

I was feeling very sorry for him, he seemed really freaked out and in pain. (Though to be fair you'd be if this happened to you) Even though I still had no clue what was happening and how it was, I tried to comfort him. I sat down next to Sam.
Incoming Tirade! Incoming Tirade!
Your friend is in pain....going through a transformation....and you try and comfort him by sitting next to him. Like...no, you should be doing your dead level best to help him out. I'm mean if you're not observant enough to spy the clothes bit then perhaps you could try and get some kind of thing for him to clamp his teeth on or something. I dunno, just better than sitting next to someone squirming in pain. Like calming him down in that situation isn't sitting next to him, it's either trying to make him in less pain or literally hugging the poor soul rather than a pat with words of encouragement.
Tirade Concluded

"Okay." Sam replied, pulling out his phone. He opened up the "texts" app and tried to type to his dad (he worked from home) but he struggled to type with his new paws. Instead, he handed it over to me. I hastily conjured up a text.

"This is Tim. Sam just threw up in the bathroom. Can you pick him up from the school?" Sam just had to roll his eyes at my lame excuse.

Shortly after, his phone buzzed, saying "Poor thing. Don't worry, i'll be there in about 10 minutes."
I wouldn't say it is a lame excuse....Just not a believable one. I mean, this may be just me, but I'd suspect it if my kid was texting me that he was throwing up instead of a teacher or someone at the school who could confirm it.
Also, I've noticed these errors as well and Bay pointed them out earlier but, "I'll" needs to have a capitalized I as well as not using linkers to start sentences (and, or, etc.).

During the next few minutes, while I should have got back to class, I instead chatted with Sam, helping him calm down now that the bizarre situation was settled.
This is an awkwardly worded sentence to me. I get the why the "while" part is there, but I honestly think it should be a "which" statement since you're talking about the minutes rather than something at the same time as another.

I will say in closing that you had a bit of punctuation errors and stuff so checking on those I would recommend. This was a good chapter even though: Some obvious parts were still told, elaboration was lacking in some areas and Tim kinda got on my nerves during the transformation sequence (heh heh heh) due to uselessness and the amount of ... inaction he took. Like I get not knowing what to do, but in that case you need to convey it better so it honestly works with it rather than goes halfway. I wish you well!
 
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Bay

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My words didn't calm him down much. "B-but i'm a freak!" he said between sobs. "I'm a Lucario, something that isn't supposed to exist!" "I don't want to be a Pokemon!" "I didn't even know I could be one!" "Everyone's gonna think i'm a weirdo!"

Bolded part, if someone's still speaking, you don't need that many quotations. Quotations at the beginning and ending dialogue should be fine. Also I notice you still have typos where you didn't capitalize the i in "I'm."

I think having this chapter in Tim's perspective works. We get a chance to see a bit of his characterization here and him supporting Sam's sudden change. There are a couple words he used like platitudes and anecdotes that I don't think middle schoolers used much, but I think those are the only instances that struck me there. I also agree with Vragon that he could have been more active in trying to help, even if none of his ideas worked. There's probably lots of opportunities of him trying to find something in school.
 
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