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  #601    
Old May 5th, 2018 (9:27 AM).
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Is he acting this way around others as well, or is it just you? If the former...well, no matter how much you may want to support him, you can't force him to talk. Whether or not he chooses to confide in you in his choice, and whether you like it or not, if you're his friend, you'll respect his right to privacy and personal space and give him the time he needs to come to you...if that is indeed what he decides to do.

Sometimes, people face problems that they just don't feel confident or capable of discussing with others, and there isn't much you can do but give them time. You've made it clear to him that you're still there for him if he wants it. The ball, as they say, is in his court now.

If it's just you...well, if he won't give you an explanation, then you're better off without such a person in your life. If you did something wrong, and you're willing to apologise and make amends if necessary, that is all you can do. If he's not going to discuss disagreements maturely, it's a waste of your time to try and reach out to him.

Either way, you need input from him if you're going to continue being friends. It's frustrating and upsetting to lose people, especially if it's sudden and seemingly without explanation as this seems to be, but people are inherently self-centered creatures, and there isn't a whole lot you can do when someone decides to shut you out. I'm not saying you should forget about him and move on immediately - unless he's mistreating you - but right now, it sounds to me as though you've done everything you can.
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  #602    
Old May 5th, 2018 (9:39 AM).
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    It's hard to say if he is treating only me this way, or others as well, but I see that he gets along with some people (mostly my friends Gabriel and Aline) normally like he did before this whole episode.
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      #603    
    Old May 5th, 2018 (9:49 AM).
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    Following your psychologist's advice sounds like a good plan, if you don't want to confront him directly about this again. From what you've said, he hasn't offered much of an explanation - WHY does he feel that way towards you now? If he'll answer that, then maybe you can discuss things with him and make amends...or at least feel better about going your separate ways.
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      #604    
    Old May 5th, 2018 (10:18 AM). Edited May 5th, 2018 by SorveteQuente.
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    SorveteQuente SorveteQuente is offline
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      I guess you're right, Dawn. I started to think more about myself few weeks ago and avoid creating personal dramas in my mind that are mostly not true.

      I'm only 2 years now to finish secondary and should probably start thinking in what I want to do in my life. That's what she (my psychologist) said in the last session.
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        #605    
      Old May 5th, 2018 (10:37 AM).
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      Letting go of someone who has been a close friend, especially when you don't see the reason or cause to do so, can be difficult and painful to do. But you definitely need to put your own mental health and wellbeing first, and this person's attitude and behaviour towards you sound like they've been a real detriment. It really is best to just let other people carry on with drama, if that's what they want to do: you're not responsible for the way they think and act, and if they're not going to tell you why they react to you the way they do, you can hardly be held accountable for that either. There can be no progress without communication, and if you're being blanked out, it really is best not to bother.

      If he does a sudden 180 in personality, though, be careful, OK? If there is a genuine grievance and you manage to work it out, there's no reason why you can't continue your friendship if that's what you want. But don't let yourself be used or led along. Personal issues are no excuse to mistreat other people, and being told that he "can't stand being around" you definitely qualifies as mistreating. By all means, be civil and friendly, but don't allow him to abuse your trust like that a second time.
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        #606    
      Old May 5th, 2018 (2:03 PM).
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        I need some advice. So, for the last 2 years I have been basically friendless, not counting the two irl friends i have that never make plans with me because they're already busy all the time whenever i ask, and not counting the many internet friends i have. i don't really know what to do. i'm an extremely awkward person, as i have social anxiety, general anxiety and depression and it's possible i might have autism (havent been evaluated yet, it's a long story).

        they have events at the college that i attend, but.. a lot of them either go on when i have classes, or the ones that dont go on when i have classes do not interest me. i'm not sure what to do. they have some events at my local library but there's no one really my age that goes to those. it's also hard to find people irl with common interests of mine that are also my age and aren't weirded out by the fact that i like youtube so much (common interests are youtube especially, but also video games).

        i don't know what to do. i havent really hung out with anyone in.. almost 2 years, not counting the time i saw my best friend. it's lonely, and it sucks. i hate it. i vent to my boyfriend about this almost every weekend (we're long distance but plan to meet up for the first time late this month), because my sister is always going out and hanging out with friends and it makes me jealous because i stay home pretty much every weekend not counting the times i go to the book store or mall or small places nearby with my mom.

        i'm just..stuck. and lonely. please be considerate of my feelings when replying. thank you.
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          #607    
        Old May 5th, 2018 (3:26 PM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by hoshiko View Post
          I need some advice. So, for the last 2 years I have been basically friendless, not counting the two irl friends i have that never make plans with me because they're already busy all the time whenever i ask, and not counting the many internet friends i have. i don't really know what to do. i'm an extremely awkward person, as i have social anxiety, general anxiety and depression and it's possible i might have autism (havent been evaluated yet, it's a long story).

          they have events at the college that i attend, but.. a lot of them either go on when i have classes, or the ones that dont go on when i have classes do not interest me. i'm not sure what to do. they have some events at my local library but there's no one really my age that goes to those. it's also hard to find people irl with common interests of mine that are also my age and aren't weirded out by the fact that i like youtube so much (common interests are youtube especially, but also video games).

          i don't know what to do. i havent really hung out with anyone in.. almost 2 years, not counting the time i saw my best friend. it's lonely, and it sucks. i hate it. i vent to my boyfriend about this almost every weekend (we're long distance but plan to meet up for the first time late this month), because my sister is always going out and hanging out with friends and it makes me jealous because i stay home pretty much every weekend not counting the times i go to the book store or mall or small places nearby with my mom.

          i'm just..stuck. and lonely. please be considerate of my feelings when replying. thank you.

          I can relate to this. I only have one friend I met when I was a toddler but at the age we are now, it is so hard to make plans with her because my friend has autism and she has alot of mental problems. i used to hang out with my sister and her friends alot but my sister moved to a different State to be with her husband who got a job on another State.

          Since you mentioned you like Youtube and video games, did you check on the internet if there are events close to your home that are about Youtube and video games? I know that some colleges have clubs. Does your college have any video games clubs you could join? if not, check out a website called Meetup. Meetup is a website for a variety of interests including hobbies, gaming, sports, etc for people to meet up when there is an event being hosted. My sister introduced me to Meetup and she also brings me along with her when she hangs out with her friends when we were still living together.

          Since you mentioned you also have a sister, ask your sister if you can tag along with her when she goes out to meet her friends. Ask your sister if she also knows anyone who likes Youtube, video games, and hopefully she will recommend a friend for you.
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            #608    
          Old May 6th, 2018 (12:57 PM).
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          hoshiko hoshiko is offline
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by XNaut View Post
            I can relate to this. I only have one friend I met when I was a toddler but at the age we are now, it is so hard to make plans with her because my friend has autism and she has alot of mental problems. i used to hang out with my sister and her friends alot but my sister moved to a different State to be with her husband who got a job on another State.

            Since you mentioned you like Youtube and video games, did you check on the internet if there are events close to your home that are about Youtube and video games? I know that some colleges have clubs. Does your college have any video games clubs you could join? if not, check out a website called Meetup. Meetup is a website for a variety of interests including hobbies, gaming, sports, etc for people to meet up when there is an event being hosted. My sister introduced me to Meetup and she also brings me along with her when she hangs out with her friends when we were still living together.

            Since you mentioned you also have a sister, ask your sister if you can tag along with her when she goes out to meet her friends. Ask your sister if she also knows anyone who likes Youtube, video games, and hopefully she will recommend a friend for you.
            i'll look on google to see if there are any nearby events related with those things, but..probably not. also the problem with hanging with my sister and her friends is that she's 13. none of her friends will be even close to my age.
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              #609    
            Old May 8th, 2018 (8:57 PM).
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              lately i have been feeling like everyone hates me!! they give me reasons to think that. my own family hates me too. we always argue & yell at each other, it's mostly about how they have been treating me lately. and people do also. bullying me, harassing me, & etc. i have mental illnesses (I Am NOT CRAZY!!). Anyways. . .my family doesn't seem to be giving me much "emotional support" & have causing me so much stress & depression that i eat the pain away. what else can i do?! they make me think that i should. . .end it all!! (if you know what i mean?!). i can't take it anymore!! i am going to be 28 years old this year! i think that i should live on my own, instead of my mom's house (she & my dad are divorced). she won't let cause she thinks that i won't be able to live on my own. I don't know what else to do?! i want a dog cause i would be able to take care of it, plus it will help me get out of the house & do something (which they want!). No to that! It's like the same chaos with me gettiing my first job. my family forced me to get a job, so i did & loved it!. then my parents struggled to get along & all & then i became mental ill. i had to leave my job which was the "hardest thing i ever did!" now they are treating me like i need better medicines for not troublesome problems. my doctor isn't helping me either! he's not thinking about me, just how he can drug me up! and my family supports him cause he's "the doctor." i feel so alone & may run away or end it all!! i can't take this anymore!! i have basically given up! nobody "asks & thinks" like they "really" care about me anymore!! they may say it but don't seem like they do to me!! and the bullies haunt me too. i had to switch schools in high school cause of them bullying & harassing me all the time!! Until i became too afraid to even go ton school. even at my new school i got bullied!! some of them wanted to fight or beat me up! and the rude & perverted people i have come across haunt me too! I am sorry for the long story here. I don't see my therapist for awhile longer this month. i need someone to talk to.
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                #610    
              Old May 9th, 2018 (4:25 PM). Edited May 9th, 2018 by SorveteQuente.
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by HollyBear127 View Post
                lately i have been feeling like everyone hates me!! they give me reasons to think that. my own family hates me too. we always argue & yell at each other, it's mostly about how they have been treating me lately. and people do also. bullying me, harassing me, & etc. i have mental illnesses (I Am NOT CRAZY!!). Anyways. . .my family doesn't seem to be giving me much "emotional support" & have causing me so much stress & depression that i eat the pain away. what else can i do?! they make me think that i should. . .end it all!! (if you know what i mean?!). i can't take it anymore!! i am going to be 28 years old this year! i think that i should live on my own, instead of my mom's house (she & my dad are divorced). she won't let cause she thinks that i won't be able to live on my own. I don't know what else to do?! i want a dog cause i would be able to take care of it, plus it will help me get out of the house & do something (which they want!). No to that! It's like the same chaos with me gettiing my first job. my family forced me to get a job, so i did & loved it!. then my parents struggled to get along & all & then i became mental ill. i had to leave my job which was the "hardest thing i ever did!" now they are treating me like i need better medicines for not troublesome problems. my doctor isn't helping me either! he's not thinking about me, just how he can drug me up! and my family supports him cause he's "the doctor." i feel so alone & may run away or end it all!! i can't take this anymore!! i have basically given up! nobody "asks & thinks" like they "really" care about me anymore!! they may say it but don't seem like they do to me!! and the bullies haunt me too. i had to switch schools in high school cause of them bullying & harassing me all the time!! Until i became too afraid to even go ton school. even at my new school i got bullied!! some of them wanted to fight or beat me up! and the rude & perverted people i have come across haunt me too! I am sorry for the long story here. I don't see my therapist for awhile longer this month. i need someone to talk to.
                You can PM me to talk about, if you want.

                Anyway, I need help too.

                Lately, in high school, I have been developing feelings towards a guy. A crush, I don't even know him, but I find him cute, physically. I wanted to introduce myself to him, know him better, and maybe produce a relationship, but I don't know how. I have been crushed before, but never tried anything, and I would want someone to share moments together.

                I need some advice about relationships.
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                  #611    
                Old May 9th, 2018 (5:48 PM).
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by SorveteQuente View Post
                  You can PM me to talk about, if you want.

                  Anyway, I need help too.

                  Lately, in high school, I have been developing feelings towards a guy. A crush, I don't even know him, but I find him cute, physically. I wanted to introduce myself to him, know him better, and maybe produce a relationship, but I don't know how. I have been crushed before, but never tried anything, and I would want someone to share moments together.

                  I need some advice about relationships.
                  Thanks hun. I think that i sent you a friend request?
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                    #612    
                  Old June 24th, 2018 (11:28 PM).
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                    So I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now and things are beginning to fall apart. Me and my girl are living together and have been for a while. My problems are that she just isn't into anything that I am and she is just really boring to me.

                    When we first started out the first month before we had even met she said that she would try anything with me of my interests and was open to it to play games and go out places and whatnot. Now it's like all that stuff may have been something she was initially open to before it was actually happening, but now she doesn't want anything to do with my interests. She tried playing Super Mario Kart with me one time and couldn't even get through three races. On the third race she got so frustrated and slammed the controller on the bed making my Super Nintendo fall off the dresser. I was mad, not at the fact that it fell but at the extreme display of emotions and not even really trying.

                    All she ever does is stay on her phone looking at facebook crap, listening to boring music. She always puts me through these awful movies and wants me to sit through the whole thing, and I do because if I've started it I'll at least finish it to see if it is good. But it hardly ever is. She is never satisfied with anything and only complains about everything when her life isn't even bad. The biggest problem this girl has is making sure she gets her nails done each week. Her job isn't stressful, she works overnights at home for the same company I do taking customer service calls. Some nights she takes maybe up to four calls that are over in about 5 minutes, and some nights she doesn't even get a call and just sleeps most of the night or watches her mindless reality shows. Then sleeps again for a lot of the day. Also she spends and spends money, to the point that she has me pay for a lot of things as well because she'll make herself flat broke.

                    I once told her that I wasn't going to watch anything else that she wanted until she tried again to play some video games or at least show some type of interest with what I was into and she says that she doesn't know how to do that and doesn't want to because she never played them before. Now I understand that, but I think I've earned her at least trying due to the countless hours of crap that she has sat me through.

                    She is a very selfish person as well. She will cook everyday so that's something though, but beyond that she is selfish to her family and only wants to do things that she wants to. There was one time when I went into the city so I could get some save batteries changed and shop at a game store. I invited her and she said no. Then I went out to do some errands and I was still in the area and asked if she wanted to come again to the city and she wound up coming. She then hijacks the day and has us go out to eat and then go Geocaching or whatever it is called before I even got to go to the store which was the whole purpose of me going out there to begin with. She had the nerve to say "okay we did all my stuff now we can do your thing". That just got me really heated so I just went with it since I didn't want to ruin the day.

                    She even thought I was cheating on her once and went and called an old friend of mine when I wasn't home to ask her if I was doing anything. She didn't want me seeing this girl anymore and I obliged and stopped talking to her. She went and called her talked for a couple hours and then wound up being friends with her. That got me so angry and I told her how I felt. It's like if I told her I didn't want her buying something for 1000 dollars because we couldn't afford it yet I go out and buy something for that same price right after saying that. She got her answer and figured out I wasn't doing anything and that it never even crossed my mind or my friend's. Then that same day I go to the bathroom and she checks my phone literally five minutes after we had the last conversation concerning that. It's such a disrespectful thing to do once all has been said and done with answers to everything and saying that she trusts me because I didn't do anything and realized that I wasn't lying.

                    She is totally your typical Jersey girl and it's starting to really get to me that I can't handle this relationship because to me she is just so boring and she doesn't even try to make me happy anymore and I seem to be the only one trying to keep her happy because I love her. I've fallen into actually being unhappy being with her. Now I sit in the kitchen a lot just to get away and do my own thing playing video games and to just be by myself.

                    I just want to find someone into the same things that I am or would at least try to understand who I am through my main source of entertainment, but this far in I realize that she isn't going to do that ever.

                    I just wanted to vent really. If any of you guys have some advice or anything go right ahead and post. I welcome any type of view on the matter and if you have any other questions to help you help me just ask. Thanks a lot for reading guys.
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                      #613    
                    Old June 25th, 2018 (4:26 PM).
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                    Snip
                    Personally, I don't think shared interests are absolutely essential to maintaining a healthy relationship, nor do I think you can really force your hobbies on her. If you absolutely feel like you need to share some sort of hobby to maintain common ground though (because I agree that it does make things better), I'd suggest looking for something entirely new together perhaps.

                    I think a far bigger problem would be the invasion of privacy and total lack of trust when she got the idea you might be cheating. If there's anything to worry about, I think it's that.
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                      #614    
                    Old June 25th, 2018 (6:31 PM).
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                      I am thinking of doing two years at a local community college (classes on Monday and Wendsday mornings and Thursday evenings) but thinking of starting a job at a local Halloween Shop and volunteering at a Haunt on the weekends. I am asking how I can balance it all out in the end.
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                        #615    
                      Old June 25th, 2018 (8:30 PM).
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                      I am thinking of doing two years at a local community college (classes on Monday and Wendsday mornings and Thursday evenings) but thinking of starting a job at a local Halloween Shop and volunteering at a Haunt on the weekends. I am asking how I can balance it all out in the end.
                      Start with the study and the job and then add the volunteering once you've gotten used to your schedule and know where you can fit it in. You don't have to start everything all at once.
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                        #616    
                      Old June 25th, 2018 (8:48 PM). Edited June 25th, 2018 by Trev.
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                      I'm gonna preface this by saying that I don't have a full insight into your feelings or your girlfriend's feelings, and any criticisms I level at either of you are not personal attacks and should be taken with a grain of salt.

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by OuterTsuchinoko View Post
                      So I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now and things are beginning to fall apart. Me and my girl are living together and have been for a while. My problems are that she just isn't into anything that I am and she is just really boring to me.
                      Have either of you considered branching out of your individual interests to attempt an interest that neither of you know about? That's a good way to find common ground.

                      Quote:
                      When we first started out the first month before we had even met she said that she would try anything with me of my interests and was open to it to play games and go out places and whatnot. Now it's like all that stuff may have been something she was initially open to before it was actually happening, but now she doesn't want anything to do with my interests. She tried playing Super Mario Kart with me one time and couldn't even get through three races. On the third race she got so frustrated and slammed the controller on the bed making my Super Nintendo fall off the dresser. I was mad, not at the fact that it fell but at the extreme display of emotions and not even really trying.
                      It seems like you have an issue with her saying she was open to try, but then felt lied to or felt it was unfair that she didn't take to your interests the way you do. Is this true?

                      Mario Kart is... kinda difficult for people who don't play it often enough to learn its nuances. Hell, I can barely play it. I can understand why she was frustrated (hell, have you seen YouTubers play it?). Maybe consider that challenging, difficult games aren't her cup of tea and try to find games with a lower difficult curve that you can bond over.

                      Regarding your anger about her showing emotion... why did that make you angry, exactly? Is it because you were expecting a different reaction and felt hurt that she didn't give you the one you expected? Or were you angry because she reacted negatively at all? Or some other third explanation?

                      Quote:
                      All she ever does is stay on her phone looking at facebook crap, listening to boring music. She always puts me through these awful movies and wants me to sit through the whole thing, and I do because if I've started it I'll at least finish it to see if it is good. But it hardly ever is.
                      Imagine if this statement was flipped. Would you be happy with a person who thought this about your interests? There are many entertaining things on Facebook - they don't have to be entertaining to you, but can be to others, and that's their right to enjoy. Music taste is highly subjective, and you have no more authority to judge her's than she has to judge your's. Same with movie tastes - you not liking her movies doesn't make them awful, they're just not your taste, just like your games aren't her taste. Changing your perspective like this will make conversations about this subject a lot easier to manage. If you come in judgmental and critical, you'll never get anywhere.

                      Consider having a conversation with her about what she's into and talk about things you're into, and find ways to combine them instead of forcing each other to sit through something one of you doesn't enjoy.

                      Quote:
                      She is never satisfied with anything and only complains about everything when her life isn't even bad. The biggest problem this girl has is making sure she gets her nails done each week. Her job isn't stressful, she works overnights at home for the same company I do taking customer service calls. Some nights she takes maybe up to four calls that are over in about 5 minutes, and some nights she doesn't even get a call and just sleeps most of the night or watches her mindless reality shows. Then sleeps again for a lot of the day. Also she spends and spends money, to the point that she has me pay for a lot of things as well because she'll make herself flat broke.
                      These seems like personal issues unrelated to the whole "we have no interests we share" thing, and this whole paragraph makes me believe that the lack of interests and unwillingness to engage with each other is merely a symptom of bigger problems in your relationship that need to be addressed.

                      Quote:
                      I once told her that I wasn't going to watch anything else that she wanted until she tried again to play some video games or at least show some type of interest with what I was into and she says that she doesn't know how to do that and doesn't want to because she never played them before. Now I understand that, but I think I've earned her at least trying due to the countless hours of crap that she has sat me through.
                      At the risk of sounding blunt or rude, this is a horrible mindset to engage someone with. You don't earn anything from anyone regardless of what you do, and ultimatums never, ever, ever produce good results or compromise. These are some really unproductive behaviors you should consider addressing if you're truly trying to resolve things with her.

                      Quote:
                      She is a very selfish person as well. She will cook everyday so that's something though, but beyond that she is selfish to her family and only wants to do things that she wants to. There was one time when I went into the city so I could get some save batteries changed and shop at a game store. I invited her and she said no. Then I went out to do some errands and I was still in the area and asked if she wanted to come again to the city and she wound up coming. She then hijacks the day and has us go out to eat and then go Geocaching or whatever it is called before I even got to go to the store which was the whole purpose of me going out there to begin with. She had the nerve to say "okay we did all my stuff now we can do your thing". That just got me really heated so I just went with it since I didn't want to ruin the day.
                      Be careful with insulting her, it feeds into an argumentative mindset.

                      Have you discussed with her (amicably) about this particular situation? You say she "hijacked the day" - how did she do that? The only way she could have forced you to do something in this situation was if she forcibly moved you into the car and drove you herself where she wanted to go (if she did do that, that's a whole bigger issue to address). On some base level, you did these things with her because you wanted to be with her or wanted to do something for her. Did you communicate to her that you wanted to go to the store first? Did you have a conversation that could have compromised you both doing your activities in a productive order?

                      Quote:
                      She even thought I was cheating on her once and went and called an old friend of mine when I wasn't home to ask her if I was doing anything. She didn't want me seeing this girl anymore and I obliged and stopped talking to her. She went and called her talked for a couple hours and then wound up being friends with her. That got me so angry and I told her how I felt. It's like if I told her I didn't want her buying something for 1000 dollars because we couldn't afford it yet I go out and buy something for that same price right after saying that. She got her answer and figured out I wasn't doing anything and that it never even crossed my mind or my friend's. Then that same day I go to the bathroom and she checks my phone literally five minutes after we had the last conversation concerning that. It's such a disrespectful thing to do once all has been said and done with answers to everything and saying that she trusts me because I didn't do anything and realized that I wasn't lying.
                      Okay, this is really problematic. Like, severely problematic. This is not healthy behavior at all, and I'm actually genuinely surprised you're still with her after she did this. I personally would leave someone if they did these things to me.

                      Nevertheless, you are still together. Clearly this issue is still bothering you - have you talked about it further? Have you explained to her that these actions hurt you severely? How did you explain it? If you did, how did she react, and how did you handle that reaction?

                      Quote:
                      She is totally your typical Jersey girl
                      Again, watch the insults. They feed into an argumentative mindset.

                      Quote:
                      and it's starting to really get to me that I can't handle this relationship because to me she is just so boring and she doesn't even try to make me happy anymore and I seem to be the only one trying to keep her happy because I love her. I've fallen into actually being unhappy being with her. Now I sit in the kitchen a lot just to get away and do my own thing playing video games and to just be by myself.

                      I just want to find someone into the same things that I am or would at least try to understand who I am through my main source of entertainment, but this far in I realize that she isn't going to do that ever.
                      I don't think your issue with her is that she's boring. You both clearly have a much more difficult relationship with many more problems than just you finding her boring, and though I can't deduce the way in which you both approached discussions of these situations, it sounds like they weren't discussed in ways that led to compromise, understanding, or resolution. And honestly, even though you say you love her, the way you talk about her is not particularly loving. Leveling insults at someone and judging her based on your own subjective biases is not something that people who love each other do.

                      If you truly want to stay with her, I recommend you both have a very serious sit down talk in a private area and, amicably and emphatically, discuss these bigger issues. It's clear the turmoil in your relationship stems from more serious issues than just a lack of shared hobbies, and you both need to address these and resolve them in ways that are not harmful to any one person if you want to stay together.

                      Outside of that, I'd seriously recommend breaking up. You and her both sound miserable together, and if you can't resolve your issues, there's no reason to stay together. Some people just don't work out. Don't let it get you down.

                      Good luck, and if you need more help, just quote me and I'll try to get back to you.
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                        #617    
                      Old June 26th, 2018 (12:42 AM).
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                        Quote:
                        Originally Posted by TheGhostHunter View Post
                        I am thinking of doing two years at a local community college (classes on Monday and Wendsday mornings and Thursday evenings) but thinking of starting a job at a local Halloween Shop and volunteering at a Haunt on the weekends. I am asking how I can balance it all out in the end.
                        Use Monday and Tuesday to focus on your first class. Use Wednesday and Thursday to focus on your second class. Friday can be a break day or used to catch up on something you haven't finished. Focus on your job first during the weekend followed by any major school objectives that couldn't be finished during the week and then the Haunt if you still have time for it. Pace yourself to avoid burning out. Consider keeping a schedule or making notes to help organize your thoughts.
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                          #618    
                        Old 4 Weeks Ago (10:39 PM). Edited 4 Weeks Ago by MysticalNinetales.
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                          I have a friend who recently has developed some questionable, potentially harmful habits. I just need advice on what to do.

                          So, one of my best friends started hanging out with this new group of people. I know them, I've met them at parties and we've all hung out before, they seem friendly. However, they've influenced my friend (let's call her Hazel) in a negative way. Hazel started smoking cigarettes whenever they're together (which is fairly frequent, the last couple of nights for sure). Not only that, but it was brought to my attention that they have all taken some hard drugs which raises my concerns.

                          Weed, go for it. Hell, I've smoked the good greens a few times before. Other drugs, though, are scary and harmful. Never mind the damaging effects of tobacco use.

                          I've confronted her about her habits on multiple occasions (By confronting her, I mean lightly bringing up the subject and asking her about it) and she kind of just laughs it off and tells me I'm worrying about nothing. I want to believe her but I honestly don't trust her judgement at this point. I mean, yeah, we're teenagers and this is our last summer before senior year of high school, I know that we're all going to do crazy things, we might drink and party. But, there's a point where it's dangerous.

                          I'm just worried that if Hazel continues to associate with these people and engages in the activities that they've been engaging in, her habits will only worsen. It's especially alarming considering how many teenagers I know (or used to) who've developed addictions to certain substances and as a result have completely thrown their lives away. I don't want that to be Hazel.

                          I know this may be a heavy subject, but what should I do?

                          Do I have a reason to be concerned? Should I talk to her about it again? Or perhaps I need to leave it alone?

                          Thanks in advance for your advice. I've already discussed this with some of my friends, I just wanted some outside opinions on the matter.
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                            #619    
                          Old 4 Weeks Ago (7:06 AM).
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                            Quote:
                            Originally Posted by MysticalNinetales View Post
                            I have a friend who recently has developed some questionable, potentially harmful habits. I just need advice on what to do.
                            Have a serious talk with your friend to explain why she is heading down the wrong path. You can cover any concerns you have during this conversation. If she ignores your advice than she will have to face the escalating consequences of her actions. If she heeds it you can support her during the recovery process. Walking away from this hazardous situation is ultimately a decision she will have to make.

                            Here are some helpful links.
                            https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/cigarettes-other-tobacco-products
                            https://smokefree.gov/
                            https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/marijuana
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