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  #3051    
Old August 30th, 2012 (11:34 PM).
Alice's Avatar
Alice Alice is offline
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Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D

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  #3052    
Old August 31st, 2012 (2:46 AM).
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LightningAlex LightningAlex is offline
     
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Retro Bug View Post
    Aha! Roommates.

    Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
    Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
    Good thing you got rid of him, though :) Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
    Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D
    Yeah, it is a fool-proof plan, if all of your roommates are intolerant bastards xD
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      #3053    
    Old August 31st, 2012 (12:08 PM).
    Esper's Avatar
    Esper Esper is offline
     
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Retro Bug View Post
    Aha! Roommates.

    Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
    You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
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      #3054    
    Old August 31st, 2012 (6:41 PM).
    Phantom's Avatar
    Phantom Phantom is offline
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
    You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."

    I am now running for President. That is my campaign slogan. Vote for Phantom!
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      #3055    
    Old August 31st, 2012 (7:40 PM).
    Gliberty's Avatar
    Gliberty Gliberty is offline
    Pro-Arrogance Party Member
       
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      Hey everyone!

      I'd like to join the club :)
        #3056    
      Old September 1st, 2012 (6:19 AM).
      Shining Raichu's Avatar
      Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
      Expect me like you expect Jesus.
       
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      Hey there Gliberty, welcome!

      Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Are you gay, straight, bi, other, transgender? If you're gay or etc, are you out? Are your parents OK with it? That kinda thing :P

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Retro Bug
      Aha! Roommates.

      Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
      Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

      I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

      The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
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        #3057    
      Old September 1st, 2012 (8:56 AM).
      Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
       
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by LightningAlex View Post
      Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
      Good thing you got rid of him, though :) Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....
      You do? Me and my friend were trying to figure it out, what is it? Aha, I sure hope so or not get another one. I like living alone.


      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
      You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
      Really? Hmm, I just didn't want to be rude and thought that's what "a respectable" person would've done. I really didn't realize how dumb it was until my (girl) friends wanted to come over and I had to deny them that privilege.

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
      Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

      I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

      The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
      (C/P what I said to Scarf here~) Also, it did make me pretty mad but I knew that he'd would be requesting a change, which made me happier. I just wasn't sure what to do in that situation as I've never been it before. It definitely prepares me and hopefully next time I don't get a prick.
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        #3058    
      Old September 1st, 2012 (3:40 PM).
      -ty-'s Avatar
      -ty- -ty- is offline
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        Hey guys,

        I have returned to the PC, after what has been nearly 6 months, maybe more.
        Not much new has happened in my life though; although, it seems like my political science courses discussions have been gearing toward some LGBTQ-related issues due to the upcoming election.

        This one girl actually yelled out, "you know what, I just don't care; it's wrong because I know it's wrong," after I pointed out her flawed propositions in a ten minute long rebuttal, since she never took the time to formulate an opinion rather than restating a learned prejudice. After she said that though, I just kept my composure and smiled and said, "well, you just proved my point; ultimately you are saying something is wrong using the fact that it is wrong to prove that point. That is a circular argument, which is derived from a prejudice rather than a philosophical argument." After that, she just glared down at her desk in anguish and didn't participate in any of the class discussion for the remaining hour of class.

        Oh boy, I can just tell this is going to be a great year. XD
          #3059    
        Old September 1st, 2012 (5:20 PM).
        Who's Kiyo?'s Avatar
        Who's Kiyo? Who's Kiyo? is offline
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        @Retro Bug - I demand to know what twenty-something heterosexual male college student in their right mind has a problem with girls being in his dorm.

        No, seriously, tell me. It's like a paradox.

        Religious views are one thing, and sure, respect of each other's beliefs is key. I wouldn't want anyone making me doing or watching something I'm uncomfortable with or don't believe in. But that was ridiculous. I think if I were you, I would've had a follow up discussion with my roommate if that came up. In what way does me bringing friends over impose on his religious beliefs?

        Ugh, well, think on the bright side. In many ways that whole "leaving" stunt he did was better than what it could've been. He could've done something worse had he had a more violent disposition, and quite frankly, a passive aggressive bigot leave is much more preferable.

        Here's to luck with any future roommates to you my sexy charming friend!

        @PhantomX0990 - Y U MAK ME CRI ;;

        That was beautiful. Very touching. Maybe one day you'll be back together. Maybe.

        @-ty- - Good job. Hopefully she's re-thinking her mindset? Nice to see you again, btw. Welcome back.
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          #3060    
        Old September 2nd, 2012 (9:10 AM).
        Esper's Avatar
        Esper Esper is offline
         
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by -ty- View Post
        Hey guys,

        I have returned to the PC, after what has been nearly 6 months, maybe more.
        Not much new has happened in my life though; although, it seems like my political science courses discussions have been gearing toward some LGBTQ-related issues due to the upcoming election.

        This one girl actually yelled out, "you know what, I just don't care; it's wrong because I know it's wrong," after I pointed out her flawed propositions in a ten minute long rebuttal, since she never took the time to formulate an opinion rather than restating a learned prejudice. After she said that though, I just kept my composure and smiled and said, "well, you just proved my point; ultimately you are saying something is wrong using the fact that it is wrong to prove that point. That is a circular argument, which is derived from a prejudice rather than a philosophical argument." After that, she just glared down at her desk in anguish and didn't participate in any of the class discussion for the remaining hour of class.

        Oh boy, I can just tell this is going to be a great year. XD
        It always makes me so sad to see young people with such prejudice. I wonder where they get it from. Older people I sort of understand because back when they first had learned about the fact that gay people existed it was probably something that no one knew much about and there were a lot of misconceptions, but today? How does someone not having a kid in their school who is gay, or a family member, or a neighbor, or at the very least see someone on television or other media?
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          #3061    
        Old September 4th, 2012 (7:58 AM).
        Shining Raichu's Avatar
        Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
        Expect me like you expect Jesus.
         
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        Prejudice is learned. The older people who don't have the brain power to overcome their own bigotry can't help but spread it to the younger generation. The ones that allow it to stick are the ones that are weak-willed and impressionable, and should be pitied for that.

        Also, it's great to have you back, ty!
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          #3062    
        Old September 4th, 2012 (12:05 PM).
        LightningAlex's Avatar
        LightningAlex LightningAlex is offline
           
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          There's a lot of ways a young person can learn to prejudge other people (especially homosexuals). It's not only the parents or grandparents. Media and friends can affect someone's brain as much as stubborn parents.
          For example, if someones best friend is extremely homophobic, the same's to be expected from that someone (especially someone who is weak-willed/stupid)

          Also, prejudice comes with stupidity. There are a lot of stupid people out there, who think that everything they do is awesome, and anything different is wrong and should be hated. Also, it's almost impossible to make a stupid person change their mind about anything! If a stupid person believes that milk is black, you couldn't change his mind even by showing him milk... yeah, a stupid example, but you get what I'm trying to say.

          I believe that at least 80% of people are as stupid as I just described. If not even more...
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            #3063    
          Old September 5th, 2012 (8:53 AM).
          -ty-'s Avatar
          -ty- -ty- is offline
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            Good to be back Kiyoshi, Scarf, and Andy :)

            Yeah, this girl said she went to a baptist church twice a week. There, I am sure she gets a regular condemnation of homosexuality; although the bible makes very little, if any claims about homosexuality. Her parents probably solidify that viewpoint as well; she mentioned her parents were avid church-goers and were also part of the republican party (and got her participating with them).

            Not to point fingers at either Republicans or Baptists, but the likeliness that someone will become homophobic increases dramatically if one grows up in a household that is extremely right-wing and follows the Baptist faith. So, in a way, she might not be homophobic if she were raised by a non-religious or tolerant religious family and/or if her parents were libertarian/democrat/independent. She would actually be highly likely to support gay rights if she was adopted by gay parents.

            This all sort of ties into the idea of freewill. We are placed in a certain circumstance by birth, that we have no choice in. Factors included: where we are born, ethnicity/race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, medical conditions, religion, economic status, among other factors.

            Our upbringing is not really much of a choice, so it's hard to change someone's ideals when they are ingrained into them. As Scarf mentioned, the number one reason why people switch their views on gay rights and homosexuality is discovering that a close relative is gay. Usually the impact can be gauged by how close the relationship is; if a second cousin is gay, then it may have little effect, and if their sibling or child is gay, it may have an enormous effect. All-in-all, gay rights support has soared simply because more people are able to come out than ever as gay rights and gay television/media is not being swept under the rug, and instead, is being integrated into our culture. IF I were born in the 50's or earlier, I most likely would not come out. The amount of people who are coming out really has legimized the concern for the those with close gay family members and the general population at large.

            In short, I can't exactly hold her accountable for the upbringing she had, but I can try to make her think more logically in order to make her consider whether her ideals on homosexuality (from her upbringing) have negative effects on society. I totally keep the angry we're-queer-and-we're-here persona under complete wraps, since that is absolutely not effective on homophobic-types. I don't know if many, if any of the people in class know I am gay either; I would rather them not for the sake of the argument, so they don't think I am biased; although, my professor that I had from a previous class knows that I am gay.
              #3064    
            Old September 5th, 2012 (11:40 AM).
            Esper's Avatar
            Esper Esper is offline
             
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by -ty- View Post
            In short, I can't exactly hold her accountable for the upbringing she had, but I can try to make her think more logically in order to make her consider whether her ideals on homosexuality (from her upbringing) have negative effects on society. I totally keep the angry we're-queer-and-we're-here persona under complete wraps, since that is absolutely not effective on homophobic-types. I don't know if many, if any of the people in class know I am gay either; I would rather them not for the sake of the argument, so they don't think I am biased; although, my professor that I had from a previous class knows that I am gay.
            It's funny. If you want to get people to understand your point of view you can't use the obvious and simple argument that "hey, this doesn't affect you in any way so let people do what they want" because it's so simple an idea that they just bat it away like a fly, like it can't be valid because it's so simple.

            That part I bolded there, that's the kind of thing that irritates me to no end. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they can't make a coherent argument without ever referencing their own sexuality, but you'd get dismissed by a lot of people if you were supportive and then people found out you're gay.

            Oh, let me also share something to make you want to vomit.



            Srsly, this acting is so bad I could spew. Also, the message is terrible, backwards, etc.
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              #3065    
            Old September 5th, 2012 (2:41 PM).
            Railgun's Avatar
            Railgun Railgun is offline
            Ever Day Another New Adventure
               
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              I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
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                #3066    
              Old September 5th, 2012 (4:40 PM).
              -ty-'s Avatar
              -ty- -ty- is offline
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by AshleyKetchum View Post
                I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
                This is a situation with no perfect option :(

                But here are my thoughts; I think some other members might be more able to give this type of advice.

                Assuming you don't live in an accepting city like New York City, San Francisco, Fort Lauder-dale, Ann Arbor, Seattle, among several other cities, here is what I would do, or suggest for you to do.

                If you feel as if you will be physically harmed for dressing more feminine, I would say ride-it-out; you don't have to dress particularly masculine or feminine, more neutral attire might be a better choice for you while in public places that are not accepting. Of course, your life is your first and foremost concern.

                I know it feels cowardly and unfair, but it may be your only option until you are able to move. I know it is not right for anyone to judge you or harm you because of your gender identity, but if there is no safe-way of going about expressing your true gender in a given situation, then it may have to be a concession on your part to dress less feminine.

                Although finances may not always permit, I think moving to a LGBT-friendly city and/or neighborhood would be the best solution you can make for yourself.
                Similarly, if you are to have several corrective surgeries, it may help your ability to go about your life with less fear of being harassed for expressing yourself. Of course, that is very expensive as well.

                I know this is not much, if any, help for your situation; let's see if anyone else has something to add or has differing advice.


                @ Scarf -
                Those videos LITERALLY seem like parody videos. XD
                I absolutely love the dramatic piano music, along with the 3rd grade acting.
                  #3067    
                Old September 6th, 2012 (9:45 AM).
                Esper's Avatar
                Esper Esper is offline
                 
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by AshleyKetchum View Post
                I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
                First, those people are prejudiced. It's not about how much skin/underwear you show, it's that you're breaking gender norms and they're not going to use their reason in that case 'cause their prejudice is in the way. People like that aren't going to be very self-aware or sympathetic.

                Anyway, here is my advice: do what makes you comfortable.

                Obviously, other people can make you feel uncomfortable, or even unsafe, if they're exceptionally prejudiced. Don't do anything that makes you feel like you're in danger. As much as you should be able to dress and be whoever you want to be, there can be danger depending on what kind of place you live in and it's not worth getting hurt.

                You don't need surgery to dress how you want to. You might feel better, more comfortable, more confident with the surgery, but it's not something you should feel you absolutely have to have. I just don't want you to think that you have to wait, that you can't do something until you get it because there are a lot of things that can get in the way if you let yourself fall into that mode of thinking. If you want to work up the courage you can always dress your way at home (if you don't already) and gradually change your look in public, but to be honest I don't see why anyone would take issue with skinny jeans like those jerks did.

                But again, it's about your comfort in being who you are. It seems like you want to dress how you did and you were fine with it until some jerks got involved. I don't want to tell you how you should look at this and I don't know your personal situation, but I would like to think that if you just did your thing like you already tried that you could just ignore the haters and have enough faith in yourself not to get brought down by them. Seems that there are good people you've met so I'd listen to them, too. Get some of your support from them because they seem to have their heads in the right place.
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                  #3068    
                Old September 7th, 2012 (7:31 PM). Edited May 24th, 2013 by Phantom.
                Phantom's Avatar
                Phantom Phantom is offline
                Uh, I didn't do it
                 
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear View Post
                @PhantomX0990 - Y U MAK ME CRI ;;

                That was beautiful. Very touching. Maybe one day you'll be back together. Maybe.
                *hands tissue* I don't like people crying, it makes me feel like punching something cause that means that someone hurt them. In this case that'd be me, and I really don't want to punch myself.

                We won't, and we know it. I don't do long distance relationships very well, and she's moved on. Which is a good thing. I want her happy. But if anyone hurts her so help me I will scalp them.
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                  #3069    
                Old September 8th, 2012 (10:54 AM).
                Altix's Avatar
                Altix Altix is offline
                Son of a Snivy and a Zoroark
                   
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                  This week was my first week of school, and it was terribly depressing. Every day I would hear like 20+ gay slurs. so ya.... I don't think I will be starting a GSA.

                  Ugh.
                    #3070    
                  Old September 8th, 2012 (11:07 AM).
                  Esper's Avatar
                  Esper Esper is offline
                   
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                  Maybe that's a good reason to start a GSA?

                  To me, it seems there are probably three different things that could come out of starting one. 1) People become more hostile now that they have "targets" for their slurs and hatred (not likely at all, I don't think) or 2) people's attitudes aren't changed, but at least you and other students have a safe space to talk (fairly common from what I understand) or 3) you increase awareness and understanding among some of the students (good chance it'll do something like this at some level).

                  So... don't give up hope yet.
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                    #3071    
                  Old September 8th, 2012 (11:30 AM).
                  Altix's Avatar
                  Altix Altix is offline
                  Son of a Snivy and a Zoroark
                     
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                    Well, I live in Idaho. The principal would not let me start one. He is an old man.
                      #3072    
                    Old September 8th, 2012 (11:57 AM).
                    Esper's Avatar
                    Esper Esper is offline
                     
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                    Posts: 10,753
                    Maybe he'll die retire soon?

                    I can't say I know the laws about these things, but I have to wonder if a principal can stop you from having one. Is there anyone who works at the school (teacher, counselor, staff person) who you think would be able to help you? They'd know if there were a student handbook or something that showed what rules you'd have to follow would be so that you could say you're following all the rules and they couldn't stop you for something technical like that. And they could be a voice of reason in those meetings and discussions that don't involve students.

                    Dunno what your situation is, but it's something to think about it.
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                      #3073    
                    Old September 9th, 2012 (9:06 AM). Edited September 10th, 2012 by Mr Cat Dog.
                    Altix's Avatar
                    Altix Altix is offline
                    Son of a Snivy and a Zoroark
                       
                      Join Date: Aug 2012
                      Location: Cda' Idaho
                      Age: 19
                      Gender: Male
                      Nature: Docile
                      Posts: 71
                      Nah, he is only 50. Anyway I think I am the only out gay kid in the school.

                      I emailed my principal...I will still try.
                        #3074    
                      Old September 9th, 2012 (10:19 AM).
                      Esper's Avatar
                      Esper Esper is offline
                       
                      Join Date: Jun 2009
                      Location: California
                      Posts: 10,753
                      That's a good start! Even if he still says no at least you tried. And maybe other people have asked about it separately, too. Sometimes a lot of little efforts together can pay off in a big way.
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                        #3075    
                      Old September 9th, 2012 (10:33 AM).
                      Kano Shuuya's Avatar
                      Kano Shuuya Kano Shuuya is offline
                      → you're here, aren't you?
                       
                      Join Date: Jul 2005
                      Location: Kansas, USA
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                      Posts: 889
                      Maaan, good luck, Altix! I bet if you start that club you won't be the only out LGBT student. That club could really benefit the school - more schools need GSAs, honestly. -w-
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