The PokéCommunity Forums The PokéCommunity Archives Fan Clubs & Groups
The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Fan Clubs & Groups Fan Clubs & Groups are places to go to find like-minded members and talk about similar interests. Join or create a club here if it doesn't fit in any of the other sections.
New threads in this forum are to be approved by a moderator before they are displayed.

 
 
Thread Tools
  #2926    
Old July 8th, 2012 (6:57 AM).
Shining Raichu's Avatar
Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Expect me like you expect Jesus.
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Australia
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Posts: 8,990
Welcome Ravenfreak!

I loved your story, that's beautiful. When you mentioned your second cousin though, I realised that that's a trend I hear about quite regularly: there are two gay people in a family, the parents of one of them are fine with it and the parents of the other are really horrible about it. I find that interesting, it's as though each family has a light and dark side and it's just luck of the draw which half you're born into lol.

Anyway on the topic of awkwardness, coming out to the people I've come out to thus far (which is again, pretty much everybody in my life - extended family included - except my parents and sister) was insanely awkward. It wasn't because I was fearful of the reaction though, or because being gay is an awkward thing to tell people like Larry said. For me, it was because I was hugely overweight and I felt disgusting in myself, so up until I came out I was refusing to admit to having any kind of sexuality one way or the other. That was because I was incredibly uncomfortable with anybody imagining me in any kind of sexual context - the thought grossed me out with the way I was, so I couldn't have imagined what it would have been like for other people.

I also thought that if I admitted to having a sexual preference, it would seem like I was being presumptuous. It's hard to explain, but it's like admitting I was gay would make people think that I thought I was attractive enough that somebody might want me back. I didn't want anybody thinking that because I didn't think that and I didn't want them laughing behind my back saying "ha, like anybody would want him" which is what I was sure would happen.

It was sort of like I thought I didn't deserve to be gay. Like "oh he's got nerve being gay, why would he think anybody would be interested in that?"

So yeah, haha, that's why it was awkward and uncomfortable for me. It was hard to shake myself out of that mindset even after I lost the weight, so it wasn't until I got over it a bit that I started telling people. Even then it was uneasy. But I'm all better now so I'm gonna take advantage of that :P
__________________
Moderator of General Chat
  #2927    
Old July 8th, 2012 (11:12 AM).
Esper's Avatar
Esper Esper is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Posts: 10,761
Andy, that's a really interesting idea you just brought up about how your sexuality was influenced by your own self-confidence/self-whatever.

I get the feeling from some people I've known that they had similar feelings. Like, can't admit to having feelings one way or another because then you take the next mental step of acting on those feelings and you run into that wall of self-disgust. I'm feeling kinda scatterbrained right now so I can't articulate what I'm trying to say, but I think you're touching on something very relevant to a lot of people.
__________________
  #2928    
Old July 8th, 2012 (12:19 PM).
Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Nature: Timid
Posts: 1,176
Hmm, I don't remember joining this but apparently at some point I did. I'm back and I think I would like to get more involved in the discussions/conversations/etc.

With that, I don't think coming out has ever been "awkward" for me. That's probably because of my "if you don't like it, bye" attitude though. Also, I haven't came out to any family members yet, but all my extended family lives far away anyhow so it wouldn't really matter.
__________________

"I'm ready for a nap..."
[YOU ARE CHALLENGED BY TIRED STUDENT RETRO BUG]
Pokémon:

The Meta Journey
  #2929    
Old July 8th, 2012 (12:37 PM).
Ravenfreak's Avatar
Ravenfreak Ravenfreak is offline
Raven rocks! :D
     
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Location: Lake St. Louis, MO
    Age: 28
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Brave
    Posts: 86
    When I was younger I didn't want to accept who I truly was, but then I got tired of hiding it and I just had to tell my mom. My sister used to mess with me about it, so that's mainly the reason why I hid it for a while. Now I just say it to my co-workers, and if they don't like it well too bad. :V Also thank you for the warm welcome. :) Self-conscious definitely plays a role in it as well, my fiancee told me that when she was in high school she seriously thought she wouldn't have a relationship because of her size but she was obviously wrong. I even thought at one point that I was going to be alone because i'm a butch and I thought "well lesbians want a girl that looks like a girl so i'm probably not going to find anyone..." :V
    __________________

    Challenges completed:
    Combined Pokemon Solo Challenge-Using Katie the Venusaur in Blue final Level:70
    Defeat the Elite Four + Champion with 1 Pokemon!-Using Katie the Venusaur in Blue Level:74
    Combined Pokemon Solo Challenge-Using Swampert in Ruby Level:67
    Love Sonic the hedgehog? Come join The Final Zone today!
    http://thefinalzone.org/
      #2930    
    Old July 8th, 2012 (2:49 PM).
    Hiidoran's Avatar
    Hiidoran Hiidoran is offline
    ohey
     
    Join Date: Oct 2005
    Location: Indiana
    Age: 27
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Jolly
    Posts: 6,193
    Come to think of it, that was a driving force keeping me from coming out for a long time too, Andy. I had a weight problem for most of my childhood and teenage years, to the point of just being disgusted in myself. Same reasoning too. If I didn't think I was attractive, who on earth would think I was attractive back? It was only after I started losing the weight that I decided I was happy enough with myself and my life to start approaching guys and letting people know.

    That isn't to say you shouldn't come out if you're not a stick. That's not what I'm getting at, and I'm sure that's not what Andy was getting at. You've just got to be happy with yourself before you can try and be happy with other people. For me, that was all about outward image... but if you're happy with the way you look, then get out there and be you~
      #2931    
    Old July 8th, 2012 (10:26 PM).
    Alice's Avatar
    Alice Alice is offline
    (>^.(>0.0)>
     
    Join Date: Mar 2009
    Location: Oregon
    Age: 26
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Careful
    Posts: 3,079
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
    I think I might have given you the wrong idea if that's the impression you got... and I seem to be being met with a vibe of apprehensive disapproval overall, so I'm guessing I have haha.

    I don't get enjoyment from causing conflict, but when I think of the way people usually come out and how they're nervous as hell and have to just spit it out and hope for the best, or have these big emotional scenes where they're crying and Mom is crying and all the rest of it... I don't know, it kind of just feels like you're handing them the power in the situation. Because you're fearful of telling them and you're nervous about their reaction, they have the power. I really don't want it to be that way for me.

    I'm not gonna be scared, I'm not gonna have one bit of nervousness and I'm not gonna give them that power. I'm gonna find a way to do it that is either so hilarious (for me) or so unbelievably confident that they will have no doubt in their mind that I don't really give a crap what they think and that their reaction is unimportant to me.

    Because of that, there will be shrapnel in the explosion and I'm gonna have fun watching it fall where it may lol. As Toujours said, I'm 100% confident about this - I get to play this card once and cause a little bit of a shake-up, so why wouldn't you have fun with it?


    And Toujours, that article is beautiful! Chelmsford seems like a wonderful place to live if a teacher can take a brave step like that without having to worry about intense repercussion from her students.
    No, I don't disapprove, I was just worried that you were being a little too naive about the whole thing... though I should've known better. lol





    Also, I just had an interesting idea for a topic... Would you move to another state/country to legally marry someone of the same sex? Or would you stay together but unmarried? (Assuming you want to marry the same sex in the first place.)
      #2932    
    Old July 9th, 2012 (10:07 AM).
    Esper's Avatar
    Esper Esper is offline
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: California
    Posts: 10,761
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
    Also, I just had an interesting idea for a topic... Would you move to another state/country to legally marry someone of the same sex? Or would you stay together but unmarried? (Assuming you want to marry the same sex in the first place.)
    No. California is gonna eventually get its act together and stuff like Prop 8 will be a bad memory. I can wait. It's gonna happen soon. I can feel it in my bones.

    Of course, if I had other reasons to leave that would be different.
    __________________
      #2933    
    Old July 9th, 2012 (5:10 PM).
    Alice's Avatar
    Alice Alice is offline
    (>^.(>0.0)>
     
    Join Date: Mar 2009
    Location: Oregon
    Age: 26
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Careful
    Posts: 3,079
    Good News:
    http://www.ontopmag.com/article.aspx?id=12330&MediaType=1&Category=24
    Quote:
    Google has announced a global campaign in support of equal marriage rights for gay and lesbian couples. The Internet giant announced its Legalize Love campaign at the Global LGBT Workplace Summit 2012, which took place in London.
    The campaign launches Saturday, July 7 in Poland and Singapore. Organizers plan to expand the campaign to every country where Google has an office, focusing on countries where anti-gay sentiment runs high.
    “We want our employees who are gay or lesbian or transgender to have the same experience outside the office as they do in the office,” Google's Mark Palmer-Edgecumbe is quoted by dot429.com as saying at the summit. “It is obviously a very ambitious piece of work.”
      #2934    
    Old July 10th, 2012 (7:00 AM).
    Esper's Avatar
    Esper Esper is offline
     
    Join Date: Jun 2009
    Location: California
    Posts: 10,761
    I'm gonna reserve my feelings on this "Legalize Love" thing. My cynical side is telling me that they're just doing this because of money, publicity, etc. etc. After all, there are millions of queer people around the world who live under nasty laws and rules and Google may just be trying to target them as customers, knowing that they're a big enough corporation to be known around the world.

    But, um, yay?
    __________________
      #2935    
    Old July 10th, 2012 (8:17 AM).
    Shining Raichu's Avatar
    Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
    Expect me like you expect Jesus.
     
    Join Date: Feb 2011
    Location: Australia
    Age: 27
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Adamant
    Posts: 8,990
    I didn't realise quite what was causing my lack of willingness to be seen as a sexual being until I read Portia De Rossi's book about her struggle with anorexia and bulimia, which touches on this very subject. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in it, I figured it was a pretty unique problem at the time but I'm happy to see it's not. Not happy that other people had to go through it too... oh screw it, you all know what I mean lol.

    In answer to QuilavaKing's question, yes I would definitely move to another country to be legally married to my partner. But that could have something to do with the fact that I don't particularly like Australia and would be happy to leave it at a moment's notice. The legality of marriage is incredibly important as well though, so if they can't cater for me here then I will go where they can... I'll contribute to the economy of a country that deserves my money.

    And Scarf - I don't think your cynicism is really necessary in this case. We said pretty much the same thing a page or two back when the Oreo thing came up, but does it really matter why they're doing it? A good deed is being done regardless of the intent or any potential ulterior motive, so I don't see why the degree of altruism is even a relevant factor. If we can stand to benefit from this, what's the problem if Google does too?

    Would we prefer Google suffer for supporting us, as though in a show of solidarity with our struggles?
    __________________
    Moderator of General Chat
      #2936    
    Old July 10th, 2012 (3:06 PM).
    Ravenfreak's Avatar
    Ravenfreak Ravenfreak is offline
    Raven rocks! :D
       
      Join Date: Aug 2010
      Location: Lake St. Louis, MO
      Age: 28
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Brave
      Posts: 86
      My fiancee and I were thinking about having a ceremony here in Missouri, though sadly of course we don't support gay marriage here. >.> We want to be legally married, but we don't want to travel... In our eyes we will be married, but in the state not so much. :( It really sucks but if Missouri ever did legalize it that would be a dream come true. As for what google is doing... i'm not 100% sure if i'm for it. It's great that they're trying to show other countries that there's nothing wrong with our sexual preference, but then again it could just be all about the money... Will it change their minds? Probably not, but I suppose it's worth a shot... I just hope that no one gets hurt during the process...
      __________________

      Challenges completed:
      Combined Pokemon Solo Challenge-Using Katie the Venusaur in Blue final Level:70
      Defeat the Elite Four + Champion with 1 Pokemon!-Using Katie the Venusaur in Blue Level:74
      Combined Pokemon Solo Challenge-Using Swampert in Ruby Level:67
      Love Sonic the hedgehog? Come join The Final Zone today!
      http://thefinalzone.org/
        #2937    
      Old July 10th, 2012 (3:14 PM).
      Oryx's Avatar
      Oryx Oryx is offline
      CoquettishCat
       
      Join Date: Mar 2011
      Age: 26
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Relaxed
      Posts: 13,190
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
      And Scarf - I don't think your cynicism is really necessary in this case. We said pretty much the same thing a page or two back when the Oreo thing came up, but does it really matter why they're doing it? A good deed is being done regardless of the intent or any potential ulterior motive, so I don't see why the degree of altruism is even a relevant factor. If we can stand to benefit from this, what's the problem if Google does too?

      Would we prefer Google suffer for supporting us, as though in a show of solidarity with our struggles?
      This is how I see it as well. There are two possible scenarios here:

      Google is doing this just as a show of goodwill because they truly believe this - They have a positive effect on the countries around them, lowering anti-gay sentiment in multiple cultures while raising the loyalty of the LGBT crowd in their brand.

      Google is doing this for purely financial reason and don't really care about LGBT issues - They have a positive effect on the countries around them, lowering anti-gay sentiment in multiple cultures while raising the loyalty of the LGBT crowd in their brand.

      Keep in mind that changes in attitudes are based entirely on the perception of the person/society that's changing, and not the reality. In reality, the entire world could be secretly anti-gay, but if one person perceives being anti-gay as something that's wrong based on what they're seeing in public, then they will be much more likely to change their opinion.
      __________________


      Theme * Pair * VM * PM

      Not all men...

      Are all men stupid?

      That's right.

        #2938    
      Old July 12th, 2012 (5:38 PM).
      Clucknadus's Avatar
      Clucknadus Clucknadus is offline
      Tornadus Therian Form
         
        Join Date: Jul 2012
        Location: United States
        Age: 27
        Gender: Male
        Nature: Adamant
        Posts: 22
        This club doesn't look like it's been very active lately, but why not, I'll join. I'm kind of unsure of my orientation; I think I might be bisexual, but I've never been with anyone of the same sex, so I can't say for sure.
        __________________
        My OU Rain Team


        White 2 FC: 4256-1301-5374 (I legally PokeGen my competitive teams)
        My Facebook Page
          #2939    
        Old July 12th, 2012 (6:41 PM).
        Shining Raichu's Avatar
        Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
        Expect me like you expect Jesus.
         
        Join Date: Feb 2011
        Location: Australia
        Age: 27
        Gender: Male
        Nature: Adamant
        Posts: 8,990
        I think some fresh meat is pretty much exactly what we need to get some activity lol. Welcome, welcome, I shall add your name to the list immediately!

        What makes you think you might be bisexual (if that's not too personal a question)? Because often you don't need to actually try being with someone of the same sex to figure it out, it's just a general attraction. If you find yourself sexually attracted to both girls and guys, that's generally enough to show you're bisexual.
        __________________
        Moderator of General Chat
          #2940    
        Old July 12th, 2012 (6:47 PM).
        Clucknadus's Avatar
        Clucknadus Clucknadus is offline
        Tornadus Therian Form
           
          Join Date: Jul 2012
          Location: United States
          Age: 27
          Gender: Male
          Nature: Adamant
          Posts: 22
          Well, that's about it. I seem to feel attraction towards both men and women. I've never tried to be in a relationship with a man, but I have had certain feelings come over me about men. Not any specific man, but just a general attraction towards men similar to that towards women. Certain things like not being able to help but look. Also certain fantasies and curiosities have run through my head that I couldn't control. I won't get specific, but you get my point.
          __________________
          My OU Rain Team


          White 2 FC: 4256-1301-5374 (I legally PokeGen my competitive teams)
          My Facebook Page
            #2941    
          Old July 13th, 2012 (7:27 AM).
          Shining Raichu's Avatar
          Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
          Expect me like you expect Jesus.
           
          Join Date: Feb 2011
          Location: Australia
          Age: 27
          Gender: Male
          Nature: Adamant
          Posts: 8,990
          I am the Sex Doctor and I diagnose you bisexual. :P
          __________________
          Moderator of General Chat
            #2942    
          Old July 13th, 2012 (8:20 AM).
          Esper's Avatar
          Esper Esper is offline
           
          Join Date: Jun 2009
          Location: California
          Posts: 10,761
          Let's get a new discussion going.

          Who are so queer people that you look up to? Who are your inspiration, heroes, idols, or just someone you like?

          I was just reading something that mentioned George Takei and I remembered how awesome I think he is. Especially, I loved that video he did when those "Don't Say Gay" laws were being born.

          Spoiler:
          __________________
            #2943    
          Old July 13th, 2012 (7:08 PM).
          Shining Raichu's Avatar
          Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
          Expect me like you expect Jesus.
           
          Join Date: Feb 2011
          Location: Australia
          Age: 27
          Gender: Male
          Nature: Adamant
          Posts: 8,990
          I love George Takei, I think he's hilarious.

          My favourite would have to be the cliche choice of Ellen DeGeneres. She is such a wonderful and beautiful person and helps so many people through her TV show alone. She's also a beacon of hope, since she always has the beautiful Portia de Rossi - her wife - on her arm, and it makes us think that it could be possible for anybody to be that happy. Doesn't hurt that she's also an awesome comedian.

          Another one would be Kathy Griffin - she's a straight woman but always jokes that she's an honorary gay man, and I'm happy to give her that. She's like the Queen of the Gays and works hard to keep that title. She's heavily involved in activism and uses her voice wherever possible to try and help us. Also, freaking hilarious. Funniest woman around (on par with Chelsea Handler :P)

          Then there's the wonderful Neil Patrick Harris. Dude is just so bro!

          (also holy crap wtf we just reached 3000 posts! I didn't even see that coming!)
          __________________
          Moderator of General Chat
            #2944    
          Old July 14th, 2012 (9:58 PM). Edited July 14th, 2012 by CarefulWetPaint.
          CarefulWetPaint's Avatar
          CarefulWetPaint CarefulWetPaint is offline
          Doctor Lobotomy
           
          Join Date: Apr 2011
          Location: New South Wales, Australia
          Gender: Male
          Posts: 1,196
          I look up to Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Parsons.

          Seriously these two guys are so amazing and fantastic actors! I really enjoy basically anything Neil is in (plus lets face it he is an attractive guy.) Plus he is actually good at magic as well as acting how cool is that! He is a serious bro as well, what beats that?
          Jim is just incredible as Sheldon, what more is needed to be said there?
          __________________
            #2945    
          Old July 14th, 2012 (11:19 PM). Edited July 14th, 2012 by Retro Bug.
          Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
           
          Join Date: Jul 2008
          Nature: Timid
          Posts: 1,176
          Weirdly enough I'm not sure if I really look up to any gays/queers. I don't really have a role model though but I do like some of the people you've mention here. (NPH, Ellen, Kathy, etc.) I would say though anyone that's really done any activism and is really out there pushing for equal/civil rights for me. It's something I'm interested in and it's always nice reading about someone doing their best to get things to happen.

          Also, to throw out some names that haven't been said. Frank Ocean, Matt Bomer, Dan Savage, and Dustin Lance Black.
          __________________

          "I'm ready for a nap..."
          [YOU ARE CHALLENGED BY TIRED STUDENT RETRO BUG]
          Pokémon:

          The Meta Journey
            #2946    
          Old July 15th, 2012 (12:31 PM).
          Railgun's Avatar
          Railgun Railgun is offline
          Ever Day Another New Adventure
             
            Join Date: Dec 2011
            Location: Newton
            Age: 28
            Gender: Female
            Nature: Quiet
            Posts: 432
            I look up to Ellen tbh

            Wait Jim Parsons is gay? I never knew that cool :)
            __________________
              #2947    
            Old July 15th, 2012 (6:16 PM).
            Shining Raichu's Avatar
            Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
            Expect me like you expect Jesus.
             
            Join Date: Feb 2011
            Location: Australia
            Age: 27
            Gender: Male
            Nature: Adamant
            Posts: 8,990
            Jim Parsons was just a recent thing, if I remember correctly. It recently came to light that he's been in a relationship with a guy for ten years or something. There was always speculation but it's just recently been confirmed.

            He's actually starring with Julia Roberts and Alec Baldwin in a new movie called The Normal Heart which is about a man raising HIV/AIDS awareness in the 80s. Just looking at the subject matter and the cast line-up, I'm really excited to see it!
            __________________
            Moderator of General Chat
              #2948    
            Old July 16th, 2012 (4:12 AM).
            Kura's Avatar
            Kura Kura is offline
            twitter.com/puccarts
               
              Join Date: Sep 2004
              Location: London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
              Age: 28
              Gender: Female
              Nature: Serious
              Posts: 11,012
              Oh man I think Ellen is totally awesome, too! Def a role model :3
              __________________
              ~Yuugiou Fan~
              ~Kamen Rider Fan~
              ♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆
                #2949    
              Old July 16th, 2012 (8:29 AM).
              Alice's Avatar
              Alice Alice is offline
              (>^.(>0.0)>
               
              Join Date: Mar 2009
              Location: Oregon
              Age: 26
              Gender: Female
              Nature: Careful
              Posts: 3,079
              Ellen is funny, but I don't really know that much about her tbh. George Takei would definitely be my choice.
                #2950    
              Old July 16th, 2012 (11:18 AM).
              Esper's Avatar
              Esper Esper is offline
               
              Join Date: Jun 2009
              Location: California
              Posts: 10,761
              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
              Jim Parsons was just a recent thing, if I remember correctly. It recently came to light that he's been in a relationship with a guy for ten years or something. There was always speculation but it's just recently been confirmed.

              He's actually starring with Julia Roberts and Alec Baldwin in a new movie called The Normal Heart which is about a man raising HIV/AIDS awareness in the 80s. Just looking at the subject matter and the cast line-up, I'm really excited to see it!
              It's good they're doing a movie about this. I've read that after the 80s we had a lot of awareness about AIDS, but recently we've let that slide and a lot of people aren't aware of or taking it as seriously as they should.

              And while I totally support more awareness about HIV/AIDS, I just can't handle watching movies about them so I will pass on this one.
              __________________
               

              Quick Reply

              Join the conversation!

              Create an account to post a reply in this thread, participate in other discussions, and more!

              Create a PokéCommunity Account
              Thread Tools

              Posting Rules
              You may not post new threads
              You may not post replies
              You may not post attachments
              You may not edit your posts

              BB code is On
              Smilies are On
              [IMG] code is On
              HTML code is Off

              Forum Jump


              All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:53 AM.