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“The faller” fanfic chapters 1 &2

Started by Nanusmightyena October 9th, 2019 2:41 PM
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So I decided to write about the “faller” who got eaten by guzzlord in Sumo. Since there wasn’t much information given on them I decided to take it into my hands to write their story myself. So I’m piggybacking on Anabel the lost child as far as the name for the faller. So in this story the faller comes from our world into the poke universe through an ultra wormhole.
Here’s the first chapter for those who haven’t read it yet:

The faller” Chapter 1: into the ultra wormhole:
It was 3:30am, Leanne had just finished her shift at the police department where she had worked at and arrived home at her apartment. She took off her uniform and threw it haphazardly into the laundry basket. She called for her K9 partner, Dex, a German Shepard, and he came running to her.

She let her long black hair out of her messy bun, put the leash on Dex and walked out the door to her apartment. She walked to the dog park next door as Dex pulled her along. Her long black hair flowing in the wind. She let out a sigh. He was especially energetic today since he didn’t come to work with her. It was pitch black outside and it was only her and Dex. All of the sudden a chill case down her spine.

She couldn’t quite place it but something just wasn’t right. A gaping hole appeared in the middle of sky. The hole was enormous and appeared to be atleast a half mile in diameter. Dex’s leash slipped out of Leanne’s hand and he ran away. Leanne was frozen in fear. She had never seen such a thing before. All of the sudden it felt as if the enormous vortex was pulling her in. She tried to run away but at that point it was too late it already got her. As she was pulled in the vortex all she could see was pitch black. In the distance she saw a ball of white light that was in an odd shape. She began to run towards the light. As she got closer to it she saw what it really was. An enormous white jellyfish creature. It was the ultra beast known as Nihilego.

She stopped frozen in fear as the giant jellyfish started towards her. She then began to run in the opposite direction. She saw another ball of white light. She pondered wether to start towards it or not. But figured it’s better than dying from the one behind her. She ran faster and faster towards it. As she reached it she felt herself getting pulled towards something again. In the heat of the moment Leanne blacked out.

“The faller” chapter 2: “Ula Ula Island:
“Hey you, girl, wake up. You can’t be sleeping here.” Said a unfamiliar voice. Leanne awoke to find herself lying on a beach. She looked up and saw a man in his mid 40s with silver grey hair and red eyes, he had wrinkles around his mouth and to put it bluntly, he looked like he’s seen some muk. It was Nanu.
“W-where am I...?” Leanne stuttered. Nanu raises an eyebrow.
“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re another drunk who passed out on the beach...Let’s go get up.”
“I’m not drunk... I just don’t know where I am... or even really how I got here. I was just walking my dog and suddenly I got sucked through this giant swirling vortex to here...” “Arceus... you are drunk.” Said Nanu.
“I’m not drunk! I saw this giant white jellyfish and the vortex and...” Leanne began to trail off. Nanu paused.
“Wait... you saw IT, the ultra beast. Well, one of em atleast the one you saw its name is Nihilego.”
“Nihil.... what..? Leanne questioned.
“Never mind that. Where are you from?” Said Nanu.
“I’m from the United States, I’m a police officer.” “You’re a cop huh? Where is the United States? Is that somewhere in Galar? I’ve never heard of it.”
All of the sudden a Maranie crawled past Leanne and she let out a blood curdling scream. Nanu laughed,
“what’s wrong? It’a just a Pokémon.”
“A poké.... what?” Leanne stammered. “Wait... don’t tell me you’ve never seen a Pokémon before. What have you been living under a rock your whole life..?”
It was at this moment Leanne realized she wasn’t in her universe anymore while she was unsure of just where she was she certainly wasn’t home.
“I don’t think... I don’t think I’m from here...”
“Well of course you’re not from here, you already knew that didn’t you?”
“No I mean I’m not from this universe.” Nanu paused with a puzzled look on his face. “Where I’m from there are no Pokémon just animals.” Nanu sighed and ran his fingers through his silver hair.
“So I guess I have to do my duties as an officer and find out what I’m gonna do with you.”
“So you believe me?”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that by regardless you’re sure as muk not from here. Come with me... I guess.”
Nanu pulled out an oddly shaped device and a giant bull like creature appeared with a harness on its back, this creature was known as the Pokémon Tauros. Nanu climbed aboard on its back.
“Get on girl.”
“ want me to get on that thing?” Leanne stammered.
“This is how we get around here, either get on or don’t either way I’m leaving.” Leanne reluctantly got aboard the Tauros and wrapped her arms around Nanu’s waist as Tauros started running rapidly. Although he had an attitude, Nanu was quite handsome she thought to herself. As she turned her head she saw a beautiful island landscape with palm trees everywhere. There were Pokémon everywhere as well and people. The creatures were strange and scary to Leanne. Her long black hair flowed through the wind as the Tauros ran great speeds across the island. This place was nice, scary but nice, she thought to herself. Nanu sighed,
“Since you have no where else to go I guess you have no choice but to stay with me then.” The Tauros came to a halt in front of what appeared to be a police station.
“You live at your station?” Questioned Leanne.
“Well, this way the rent is free. So this is how I do it.” They both stepped inside of the police station.
When the door opened they were surrounded by a hoard of Alolan meowth meowing at the door.
“I know I know I haven’t fed you yet.” Nanu grunted. He picked up a large bag of Pokémon food and poured it into several bowls for the meowth. Leanne smirked,
“So you’re the lonely old cat man huh?” Nanu turned red.
“HEY! I’m not old I’m only 44....My partner, Persian, he can’t leave lonely Pokémon alone. So that’s how I ended up with all these meowth.”
The police station was extremely messy there was trash everywhere and clothes strewn across the floor. There was a single couch on the right side of the room with a pillow and blanket, that’s where she assumed nanu slept.
“So, uh, I’ll get you a sleeping bag and you can sleep on the floor I guess.” Leanne felt a little grossed out about sleeping on the messy floor but it’s not like she had much of a choice.

Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.

on the second floor's nest
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Since there wasn’t much information given on them I decided to take it into my hands to write their story myself.
Welcome to the job description of a fanfiction writer!

Anyway, first thing to notice is the formatting. I'm taking you are copy/pasting this from a Word document or something similar? The paragraph breaks don't always translate well, so it ends up in something like a run-on of text like what you have here. My advice if that's the case is to leave two <Enter> presses between paragraphs, and try copy/pasting again.

Other than that, context-wise this is the good isekai - the classical story of someone from "our" world (or something like that) transported to another world. I'd like to see where this goes because I've seen little Faller-related material. So hopefully this can continue.
Venia Silente - Consulting Worldbuilder
Background... some day.
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Darkinium Z

Dani California
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Hi there! I too got interested in checking your fic out since there hasn't been too much fics about the Faller there. I was taken aback you have the Faller be from our real world and her coming when Nanu was Kahuna. I think it's implied that he became Kahuna after leaving Interpol. I'm curious how Leanne and Nanu's interactions will go.

(My own fic also references the Faller a lot, but she came from a parallel universe of the Pokemon world and she died before the start of Sun/Moon. So if you're more interested in more Faller material... Blant advertising done).

Venia already mentioned the formatting and doing the double paragraph trick. I would recommending editing the two chapters that way so new readers won't be turned off by the formatting. I do wish you luck on this!

Foul Play
[Chapter Nine up!]


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“The faller” chapter 3:
Leanne awoke early in the morning, her back hurting from sleeping on Nanu’s messy floor. She glanced over to see Nanu fast asleep on the couch next to her with a meowth sleeping on his stomach. Even though he put on a tough guy act he seemed like he was really gentle and kind deep down. Leanne got up cracked her back and looked out of the window. Alola was truly beautiful.
She slowly crept to the door and tried to open it.
“Don’t think about it, girl.”
Nanu mumbled.
“Why not?” Leanne asked.
“It’s too dangerous out there to go by yourself and without a Pokémon, plus if you die I have to make a report and that’s something I REALLY don’t feel like doing.”Leanne sighed.
“Land somewhere and occupy yourself. Don’t try to leave again”.
“Well, can’t I just take one of your meowth with me?”
Leanne protested.
“No. You can’t even battle.” Nanu grumbled.
“Now let me go back to bed and stop being so annoying.”
Nanu rolled over and went back to sleep. Leanne got up and started to wonder around the police station. She walked into a strange room filled with cabinets everywhere. Out of curiosity she opened one of the cabinets. As she began to paw through the files she found one that just stated “file x”. This was odd as most of the files were specific and stated exactly what they were for.
Leanne being bored and curious pulled out file x and began to read it. The file talked about that strange vortex she went through, the one nanu called the “ultra wormhole”. It said that in the ultra wormhole there are various ultra beasts and people have been known to get sucked into the ultra wormhole and never come back. As she was reading the file she felt one of the meowth brush up against her. She scratched it behind it’s ear and it began to purr.
All of the sudden she began to hear footsteps.
“Oh muk, oh muk, oh muk!” Leanne haphazardly stuck the file back in the cabinet.
“What are you doing in here girl? Why do you insist on being such a pain in my ass?” Leanne was silent.
“Can’t you just sit still and not touch anything like a good girl?”
Nanu looked half asleep the bags under his eyes were much darker than normal. Nanu sighed.
“If I must keep you around, you need to have a job. You said you used to be a cop right? Come with me.”
Leanne followed nanu out to his pearl white pickup truck in the front of the police station. As she hopped in the truck she noticed how dirty the inside was. There were empty drink cups and wrappers everywhere. Nanu was a very messy guy. Somehow despite his demeanor and messiness she found herself extremely attracted to him. He was a lot like herself. Rude, straight to the point and sarcastic. She liked a man who could match her sarcasm. Nanu started up the engine and began down the dirt path. Leanne looked out the window and sighed. She wondered if she would ever be able to go back home. If she’d ever see her friends and family again or the mangy mutt who abandoned her.
Nanu looked over at her,
“You’re scared aren’t you?” He said quietly.
“N-no I’m not scared.” Leanne stammered.
“Yes you are. You’re scared because you’re in this unfamiliar world all alone. It’s okay to be scared kid, it’s understandable.”
“I’m not scared, I just.... I just want to know if I’ll ever be able to go home..”
“Honestly kid? Probably not. I wouldn’t chance going through the ultra wormhole again either. You mise well make the best ‘cause this is your new life.”
Leanne looked over and saw a very large building that said “international police HQ”. “...we’re here.”
Nanu parked and turned the truck off. Nanu got out of the truck and began to walk in, Leanne stayed in the truck. “Well? Are you coming or not girl?”
Leanne sighed and got out of the truck.
“I don’t really have much of a choice do I?”


Darkinium Z

Dani California
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13.6 Years
Hi again! Before I begin, I want to mention I noticed you posting the next chapter in a sepearte thread. I went ahead and merged Chapter 3 with your previous thread. One of the rules is to if your story has multiple chapters keep it to one thread. Makes things more organized and such.

One other thing I noticed is you have dialogue in one pagragraph at times. When you have more than one person speaking you seperate their dialogue into new paragraphs. So for instance:

She slowly crept to the door and tried to open it. “Don’t think about it, girl.” Nanu mumbled. “Why not?” Leanne asked. “It’s too dangerous out there to go by yourself and without a Pokémon, plus if you die I have to make a report and that’s something I REALLY don’t feel like doing.” Leanne sighed. “Land somewhere and occupy yourself. Don’t try to leave again”.
I word separate like this:

She slowly crept to the door and tried to open it.

“Don’t think about it, girl.” Nanu mumbled.

“Why not?” Leanne asked.

“It’s too dangerous out there to go by yourself and without a Pokémon, plus if you die I have to make a report and that’s something I REALLY don’t feel like doing.” Leanne sighed. “Land somewhere and occupy yourself. Don’t try to leave again”.

Noticed how I separated Nanu and Leanne's dialogue and it's easier to follow?

I admit, I didn't think Nanu would take Leanne to Interpol Headquarters that soon. I thought there would be a bit more time Leanne getting to know Nanu and Alola more. Still interested how the visit to Interpol will go.

Foul Play
[Chapter Nine up!]


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The faller chapter 4:
As Leanne got out of Nanu’s pickup truck and began to head towards the large international police headquarters building. The sliding doors slid open and she was greeted at the desk by a receptionist.
“Oh hello Mr. Nanu, I thought you were on suspension. Who is this young lady with you? Is this a girlfriend of yours?”The receptionist then gave a cheeky grin. Nanu’s face turned bright red. Leanne blushed and turned away.
“N-no.... she’s.... she’s...This is Leanne. She’s interested in becoming an officer.”
Not really that I have a choice... Leanne thought to herself.
“Come on girl, lets go.” Nanu muttered. Nanu shoves his hands in his pocket and sighed. Leanne followed nanu down the long hall to a shiny gold elevator at the end of it. Nanu pressed the up button and the elevator made a whining noise and headed up.
“Floor 14.” The elevator chimed.
As Leanne got out of the elevator she noticed a cluster of desks with men in slick black suits at them. For some reason she felt as if all eyes were on her as she entered the room and she hated it.
“What?! None of you have ever seen a woman before come in here?! “Leanne burst out.
She hated being stared at it was a pet peeve of hers. The whole room went completely silent after that. One of the men in the black suits started laughing.
“No. We’ve just never seen one with Nanu before. Little lone an attractive one.”
Nanu’s face turned beet red again.
“I’m getting sick of everyone saying that....” Nanu muttered under his breath.
The man grinned.
“Well, If old nanu don’t want ya I’d be more than happy to take you out for a malasada and a trip back to my place sometime.” Leanne rolled her eyes. “I’d rather have teeth pulled.”
“Why are you here Nanu? You’re suspended remember?” Said a far-away voice. A very large man in a white uniform with five gold stars on it appeared. He appeared to be the chief of police.
“I know but.... we need to talk.”
The chief sighed, “alright come in my office.”
“Stay here girl. Don’t go anywhere.” Nanu told Leanne.
“Oh god, please don’t leave me alone with that creepy guy.” Leanne pleaded.
“I don’t know what to tell ya kid. This has to be a private conversation. Just ignore him you’ll be fine.”
Leanne sighed and sat down on a bench next to the door. The door slammed behind Nanu and the chief.
“This better be good Nanu. I should’ve fired your sorry ass with that stunt you pulled the other day...” The Chief then have Nanu a stern glare.
“It is... you see that girl out there? She came through the ultra wormhole. She might be able to get agent 0002 back from it.”
“Well atleast you feel some obligation to mop up your mess.”
“It haunts me every day... I see his face in my dreams every night...I....” Nanu trailed off.
“It’s just part of the business we’re in. He knew the risks when he took the mission so it’s not entirely your fault.”
Leanne pressed her ear to the door. She heard everything. What did nanu do? Could it really have been that bad? Leanne hadn’t noticed yet but a tall man in a black suit with a brown overcoat and slick dark brown hair was looming over her. It was agent looker, Nanu’s fellow officer in the international police. He sat down on the bench next to her.
“You want a malasada? I have two but I really shouldn’t eat them both. I’m supposed to be on a diet.” Looker let out a hearty laugh.
“What’s a Malasada..?” Leanne questioned with a puzzled look on her face. Looked jumped back with a shocked look on his face.
“What?! You’ve never heard of malasadas and you’re in the Alola region?! Well! You’re in for a great treat then!”
Looker passed Leanne what appeared to be a fried bread sandwich. She was taken back by someone actually showing her kindness her in this strange world she landed in.
“You didn’t lace it with poison did you..?” Leanne joked.
“I would never! I am an officer of the law after all!” Looker stammered. Leanne laughed.
“I was joking. I’m Leanne by the way.”
“Although I cannot reveal to you my real name, you may call me agent looker.”
Leanne bit into the piping hot Malsada. It was heaven in her mouth. It was spicy but not too spicy and the dough was cooked to perfection.
“That girl outside, she care through the ultra wormhole, so that thing... that monster that you call an ultra beast she encountered it while in the wormhole.”
“Did she? And she came out alive?”
“Yeah, poor thing was scared half to death when I found her lying unconscious on the beach she was almost glad to see a wretch like me.... if she goes in she’ll be safe right? You promise you have the tools to keep her safe?”
“Hmmm... I never pegged you as the type to go after younger women Nanu. The chief chuckled.
“...I’m so sick of everyone saying that. She’s just a lost girl I’m trying to help out. I just need to know she won’t be in any danger. I’m just not a fan of using another person as human bait.”
“As long as everyone follows the instructions on what to do and protocol she will be just fine.”
“So are we gonna kill it?”
“Well... it is a living creature so, we are going to try not to hurt it and just to chase it back into the ultra wormhole.”
Nanu sighed. They tried that before and it didn’t work.
Leanne’s heart sank. She didn’t want to to go back to that place... ever. She’d rather stay in this world and never go home than ever go back into that void of complete darkness with those... creatures again.
Nanu stepped out of the office and closed the door behind him. Leanne immediately got up.
“I’m not going!” Leanne shouted.
“ you heard all that huh?”
“Yeah, and I’m not going... I just can’t go back to that place again I’m sorry.”
“Look girl, I promise you’ll be safe, besides you have to earn your keep. There isn’t a such thing as a free lunch around here.”
“I’m sorry... I just... I just can’t.”
Nanu sighed. Of course she was going to make this difficult for him.


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The faller chapter 5:

Nanu pulled his navy blue police shirt over his chest and slowly buttoned it up. He then put on his navy blue pants and zipped them up. He sighed and walked over to the mirror. It was 7 in the morning. Too early for this muk in his book. Nanu is by no means a morning person. He brushed his teeth and combed through his silver hair. This was the day he thought to himself. It was finally the day he had been dreading ever since he received this assignment.

The day he chases this giant beast back where it belonged. It had been creating havoc and mass panic across Alola. Because of his credientials he would be tasked to stop it. He was ordered not to kill it, albeit that puts more people at risk. But who was he to argue with policy?

There wasn’t much he could do about it anyway. He put on his utility belt, holstered his black 9 millimeter gun and headed out to his truck.
He had a horrible gut feeling all of this was going to go terribly wrong. Nanu yawned and turned the doorknob and headed out. He started up the pearl white truck and headed to headquarters. Once he got there he parked his truck and headed inside. This is gonna be such a mukshow.... he thought to himself. He pushed through the revolving door and was greeted by the receptionist. An older women with tan skin and long white hair.

“Good morning Mr. Nanu. How’s it going today?”

“Oh, it’s going.” Nanu muttered.

He then walked towards the large gold elevator and pushed the up button.

“Level 14.” The elevator chimed as it reached his destination.

He walked off the elevator and into a room surrounded with desks with men in freshly steam pressed black suits in them.

“Are you ready Nanu?” Questioned a tall man in an brown overcoat with a black suit underneath and dark brown hair. It was agent Looker.

Nanu sighed and ran his fingers through his freshly shampooed silver hair.

“As ready as I’ll ever be I suppose. Where’s Manu, er.... agent 0003?”

“He should be here any moment now.”

A young man in a crisp black suit with long wild blonde hair and bright baby blue eyes burst through the door.

“Fashionably late as always agent 0003..” Nanu teased.

“Sorry, I just woke up late, I’m not used to being up this early in the morning.” Agent 0003 laughed.

“Alright, if everyone is ready let’s go. This thing should be on Route 4 on Meelee Meelee island.”

The three men stepped into the Golden elevator and pressed the button to take them to the roof.

“Floor 25.” The elevator chimed as it reached the top of the building.

There was a large black and white police helicopter whirring on the roof waiting for them. They hopped in the helicopter and it took off. All three men out on parachutes.

“I’ll let you know when we get over the drop zone. When we do everyone needs to jump.” Said the pilot.

“I’m kinda scared of heights... I don’t know if I can jump..” stammered agent 0003.

“Jesus boy, are you scared of everything?” Said Nanu.

“....Not everything. Only things that have the potential to kill me.”

“Alright fellas we are heading over the drop zone be prepared to jump.”

“C’mon kid, let’s go it’s time to jump.”

“I-I can’t do it.”

Nanu have agent 0003 a hard push off the plane.

“OH SHIIITTTTTTTT!!” Screamed agent 0003 as he fell. Nanu and looker then proceeded to jump off of the plane. Nanu looked down as he slowly parachuted to land. They had to be 1000s of feet in the air. He could only make out tiny dots on the ground which are what he would assume to be people and Pokémon. He saw a much larger dot chasing the smaller dots. That would turn out to be the ultra beast he was tasked to send back through the ultra wormhole. It had appeared the beast was no longer contained. As he decreased altitude and reached the ground he could only imagine what fresh hell would await him when he landed.

As Nanu and the team began to reach the ground they saw a large black beast creature with a gaping hole for a mouth several sharp black teeth, yellow slits for eyes and giant crab like claws protruding out of it. It was the ultra beast known as Guzzlord. The agency had just developed a machine to open up the ultra wormhole but it was a prototype. Not much was known about its side effects when in use.

Nanu pulled out the device and shot it close to the beast in hopes it would go in and leave this world. However, it had no interest in doing so. The giant creature continued to wreak havoc on people and Pokémon alike as it chased its helpless victims down. It had two victims cornered, an elderly lady with tan skin and short white hair and her Pokémon Rockruff. The lady shrieked bloody murder as the enormous black mass backed her into a corner and swallowed her alive.

“Damn it! I refuse to be humane with this thing!” Yelled Nanu. Nanu threw out a pokeball.

“Persian let’s go!”

A light purple cat like creature emerged from the pokeball.

“Persian use power gem!”

A wave of blue light emitted from the jewel on Persian’s head toward Guzzlord. With one swipe of Guzzlord’s claw the move was deflected. Guzzlord lifted its enormous foot and stomped on Nanu’s Persian knocking it out instantly.
“Persian return!” Nanu immediately called Persian back into its pokeball. Guzzlord then began to approach agent 0003. He grabbed agent 0003 with his giant black claw.

“Oh no you don’t! Don’t worry kid I’m coming!” Nanu ran towards the beast and drew his gun. He fired his gun at the beast multiple times effectively scaring the beast. The beast then retreated back to the ultra wormhole with agent 0003 in its jet black claws.


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“The faller” chapter 6: I’ve been there too:

“So you’re gonna make this difficult for me huh girl?” Nanu raised an eyebrow and focused his gaze on Leanne.

“Look I just can’t! And you can’t force me to!” Leanne protested.

“I suppose you’re right...” Nanu sighed. “It’s not fair of me to force you to help me clean up my mess.” Nanu looked over and saw Looker sitting down next to Leanne. He had been so focused on what was going on with Leanne he had completely overlooked him.

Nanu turned to looker.
“They got a new assignment for ya?”
Looker turned to Nanu with a mouth full of malasada.

“Umphh.... umphhh.... yes, they’re sending me to Sinnoh to investigate a gang called team Galactic.” Looker said as chunks of malasada spewed out of his mouth. Looker wiped his mouth off.

“Arceus... didn’t your mom tell you not to eat and talk, that’s disgusting.” Nanu grimaced at Looker. Leanne chuckled. Looker was kinda a weird guy but he seemed nice enough.

“So you go all over huh, looker?” Said Leanne.

“Yes, I was just put in Alola temporarily for.... a mission that went bad. I’m hoping the next one goes with less causality.”

“Let’s go girl... we’re leaving. You still have to get some kind of job though. You’re not gonna sit around the house all day and do nothing.” Nanu shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leanne followed Nanu to the golden elevator at the end of the room. They both got in the elevator and he pressed the down button.

“Floor 1.” The elevator chimed.

They both stepped out of the elevator and walked out of the building. Nanu stopped and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled out a single cigarette put it to his mouth and lit it.

“Ugh, that’s such a nasty habit my fiancé did that.” Leanne said.

“Wait... you had a fiancé?” Nanu questioned.

“Well, I did. Not now, obviously. He wasn’t the greatest towards me.”

“How so?”

Leanne paused for a moment.
“He liked to put his hands on me and he’d yell... a lot.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to put up with that muk, you know?”

Leanne quickly changed the subject. The subject of HIM made her feel very uncomfortable.

“So, I heard what happened with your partner. I had something similar happen to me back home. It’s not easy, I get that.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me your story then.” Nanu took a puff of his cigarette and exhaled. He felt bad that she had to go through that. Even though he’d only known Leanne for a couple days he was starting to get a soft spot for her. Not that she’d ever go for an old wretch like him he thought to himself. But he felt like he had to protect her, she didn’t have anyone else here. Besides he didn’t all mind having someone live with him. It gets lonely being surrounded by nothing but meowths.

A wild Litten approach Leanne and rubbed up against her.

“Awww, you’re actually kinda cute.” Leanne scratched behind the Pokémon’s ear. This world was very strange to Leanne but she felt as if every day she got more used to it. She actually wouldn’t mind training Pokémon someday. Atleast some of the less scary looking ones like Litten.

Leanne chuckled and flipped back her long black hair. “It’s kind of a long story. You sure?”

“Sure. I don’t have nothing but time right now as I’m sure you’ve heard from my conversation with the chief. It appears like you’re not as timid with Pokémon as you were when you first came here.”

“I don’t mind the less weird and scary looking ones like this little guy.” Leanne looked up and saw a flock of Pikipek flying across the hazy purple and orange sky. The sun was setting and it was beautiful. The palm trees ever so slightly shaking in the wind. She wasn’t used to tropical settings like this. Where she was from, it was more urban big city life.

“Well, it was about 2 years ago, I was a rookie on the force. So, I didn’t really know what I was doing. Me and two other officers were put on a sting operation that went bad..... if it wasn’t for my actions one of my coworkers would still be here. So, I get your situation. I’ve been there too.”

This chapter was kinda short but the next one is gonna be much much longer. Prolly the longest one thus far.


Age 24
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Something I'm noticing, even in your later chapters which are much better formatted and easy to read, your story contains a lot of dialogue. After a while, reading ceaseless conversation with little to nothing else going on can get a bit tedious and your readers can switch off and stop paying attention. Maybe work on breaking up your dialogue with descriptions or actions more.


Age 24
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7.6 Years
Could you elaborate more on that? Like give me an example? I’m definitely open to constructive criticism as this is pretty much my first fanfic ever. I really just want to be able to get better at writing em.
Basically, less talking and more doing. If you look at your most recent chapter, almost every line you wrote is one character talking to another. You should break all that dialogue up a bit more by doing things like setting the scene and describing body language and/or what characters are physically doing. Otherwise it starts to feel more like reading a script than a story. There's nothing wrong with being heavy on dialogue, but the more dialogue you have the more important it is to break that dialogue up a bit.


Seen 5 Hours Ago
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59 Days
The faller chapter 7: Leanne’s sting:

Beep! Beep! Beep! A radio alarm clock started going off. Leanne grunted. It was 6:30 in the morning. She didn’t want to get up. She haphazardly smacked the snooze button on the alarm clock. She yawned, rubbed her eyes and groggily got up.

She put her grey hoodie on and her black sweatpants. She also grabbed a large black briefcase. She then put her 9mm black smith and Weston in the waistband of her sweatpants. Today was the day she thought. She was so nervous. What if she messed up? What if it caused someone to die? All these thoughts raced through her head. This was her first undercover sting mission. So she was scared how it could end. Everything has went okay up until now. Leanne opened the door and left the seedy motel she had been staying in for the last three months. Leanne dug in her pocket and pulled out an old flip phone. She dialed a number and it rung twice before someone picked up.

“Are you ready?” Leanne asked

“Yes, meet me inside of the abandoned warehouse on fifth street. You remember the plan right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, regardless I’m going to go over it again anyways. It’s crucial we do things according to plan or things could get real bad real quick. We need to follow this plan. When we get there we do the transaction and leave no matter what. When we leave, the TACT team will immediately inflitrate and do anything that needs to be done. The cameras and microphones attached to us will get everything we need. No matter what we have to follow the plan.”

“Alright, Alright. I get it.”

“Okay, no matter what we need to follow procedure.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

A taxi rushed past Leanne and she stuck her right hand in the air to hail it so she could catch a ride. The taxi came to a screeching halt and Leanne hopped inside.

“Where to sweetheart?” An older Indian man with a bushy mustache gave Leanne a toothy grin.

Leanne rolled her eyes at the man.

“Yeah, don’t call me that… I’m going to the old warehouse on fifth street.”

The man scoffed, “You millennials nowadays...always so touchy.”

Leanne leaned her arm on the window of the taxi cab and looked out of it. This city had gotten so bad. As she looked out the window she saw a shell of a city. The city was mostly abandoned and occupied by gangs and homeless people and whatever low income families that were unlucky enough to inhabit it. It wasn’t always like this though.

“We’re here. You owe me 20$.” The man driving the taxi then took a puff of a cigarette.

Leanne dug in her pocket and pulled out a wrinkled $20 bill and handled it to the man. She then exited the taxi cab. She looked at the decaying large building in front of her. She sighed, pulled up her hood and walked in. As she pushed through the decaying doors she saw her partner officer Kruse who was also undercover, chatting with three very intimidating men in jet black suits. There was also atleast 20 or so other men in the warehouse, surrounding them. Officer Kruse was a tall, slender man with short jet black hair and green eyes.The men in suits were the leaders of the mafia. Leanne looked to the right and saw a young woman in a short skirt and crop top tied up and badly beaten. She was tied to a chair and kept screaming out of the rag that was stuffed in her mouth. It was her colleague Officer Hager. Leanne had to put a poker face on but she was horrified. She had to save her. Officer Hager was bleeding badly and could bleed out any second. One of the men in suits directed his attention over to Leanne. He then laughed.

“So, I see you’ve seen the pig that we found hiding amoungst us.” The man grinned.
“We got something special for her.”

Leanne gulped. “Oh, yeah? Screw that pig. What are you going to do?”

The man looked over to his left and picked up a box and dropped it in front of Leanne. The box had all kinds of tools in it amoung knives and other things.

“It’s simple… we torture this little piggy until we get the information we want.”

“Anyways, forget her did you bring the goods?”

Leanne opened the large black briefcase and revealed pounds of a powde white substance inside. The man then took a knife made a small incision in the bag and dipped his finger in it. He then rubbed his finger on his teeth.

“Yes, Yes, that’s good stuff. Real good. You’ve been working well with us to get us our goods for the past few months. We want to make you an honorary member of the mafia. You just need to prove your loyalty to us first.”

Officer Kruse who had been leaning on the wall in the background looked over. He knew what they were about to make her do. But she still needed to stick with the plan.

The mafia leader grinned at Leanne.

“You need to torture baconater over there. Get her to tell us what we need to know.”

Leanne nervously looked over to Kruse and he nodded at her. Leanne saw Kruse adjust his cuff link on his suit jacket. Knowing that meant he just pushed the panic button not actually “adjusting his cuff link.” Leanne couldn’t do this she just couldn’t. Even knowing help would arrive soon, she knew that her fellow officer was already at the brink of death. Any further injuries could very well kill her. But, if this sting went wrong and they were alerted, there would be many more casualties. The large man in the suit handed Leanne the box of torture weapons.

“Here, I’ll let you chose. Is this your first time? Ha! You’re a torture virgin ain’t ya?” The man then formed another creepy grin and looked at Leanne.

He rubbed his hand on the side of her face.

“Ya know… you’re quite beautiful. After this, we can head back to my executive suite and… discuss… business.”

Leanne shivered at the thought. She looked down at the box in front of her. She couldn’t do it… she just couldn’t. She began to shake.

The man raised an eyebrow at her.

“This isn’t a request it’s a demand girlie. Now, DO IT!” He screamed.

Leanne then grabbed her gun and shot the man in the face then ran to take cover behind a large stone pillar.

“God damn it Leanne!!!” Screamed Kruse. He then grabbed his weapon and shot the other two mafia leaders in the face as well and took cover. One of the mafia grunts then shot officer Hager killing her immediately. Leanne began to panic. This was her fault. She didn’t follow protocol. This was her worst fear. She got someone killed.
Leanne got out from cover and fired a shot at one of the mafia grunts. It hit him in the shoulder and he went down. One of the mafia leaders began running towards Kruse. Leanne fired several shots at him but missed all of them. She wasn’t good at shooting moving targets, but was a perfect shot when someone was still.

The grunt shot Kruse in the chest killing him instantly. All of the sudden the door to the warehouse burst open with a swarm of officers coming in.

“EVERYONE FREEZE! ON THE GROUND!” Shouted one of the officers.

It was an all out shootout. In the end, all the mafia members in the warehouse were killed and several officers were killed and wounded.


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59 Days
The faller chapter 8: So, do you want to catch a Pokémon?

“So that’s what happened huh?” Nanu raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I really screwed up….” Leanne muttered.

Nanu took a puff of his cigarette then paused for a moment.

“You know it’s odd.. having this much in common with someone. Usually, I’m a loner.” Nanu blushed.

Leanne smirked, “So, you’re starting to like me huh?”

Nanu instantly changed the subject. “So, uh, do you want to catch a Pokémon?”

Leanne paused for a moment. This whole time she’d been there she’d never really thought about it. I mean, some Pokémon were really cute. And she figured it’d just be like a pet that you have fight. She did miss her dog Dex quite a bit since coming here.

Leanne smiled, “I’d love to.”

“Follow me.” Said Nanu.

Leanne followed Nanu into the wooded area outside of the police headquarters. She looked around her and saw a flock of pikipek in the trees above her and caterpie crawling about. The giant trees towered over them as they ventured deeper into the forest. Leanne began to wonder why Nanu didn’t stop to try to catch any of the Pokémon they had already passed. All of the sudden a yellow and brown lizard-cat like creature appeared before them. What was odd was it appeared out of thin air. Leanne has never seen anything do that before. But then again she was in a different world.

“Here, try to catch this one, this is an Abra. Throw this pokeball and one of my Pokémon will come out.”Nanu handed Leanne a pokeball.

Leanne took the pokeball and threw it. Out came Nanu’s Honchcrow. It let out its cry as it was released from its pokeball.

“Tell it to use dark pulse.” Nanu advised Leanne.

“Uh, use… dark pulse!” Leanne shouted.

Honchcrow flapped it’s wings violently and a pulsating shade of darkness rushed towards Abra. Abra tried to move out of the way but it was too late it got hit and damaged greatly. Abra then put a finger on its head and stared directly at Honchcrow and a unseen force damged Honchcrow slightly.

Leanne felt a rush go through her body. She had never experienced anything like this before. This was amazing! The thrill of battling was so new and exciting to her.

Nanu smirked, “looks like you’re having fun huh? Tell it to use swagger next.”

“Honchcrow use swagger!” Leanne shouted.

Honchcrow cornered Abra and it then pranced around it appearing to be gloating. Abra then got confused and tried to hit Honchcrow and missed. Nanu handed Leanne a pokeball.

“Here throw this.”

Leanne threw the pokeball at Abra and it encapsuled it. Abra then went in the pokeball and it moved from side to side several times before finally stopping. Leanne never felt a rush like that in her life. She picked up the pokeball.

“So this is.. mine now?” Leanne questioned.

“Yeah, he’s all yours.”

Leanne felt a smile purse her lips. Her very first pokemon. She ran up and hugged Nanu. Nanu’s entire face turned red. Leanne then looked up at him and grinned.

“As much as you blush around me… I’d be lead to think you have feelings for me Nanu.”

Nanu scoffed. “I don’t have time for that nonsense… plus trust me when I say no one wants these problems.”

Leanne felt a little disheartened from hearing that. She was beginning to fall for him. But she just couldn’t read him. In some ways he acted like he wanted her but in others not so much. Was she not his type? Was someone in their 20s too young? She had always had a thing for older men but something about Nanu was special. The amount they had in common was crazy and there was something about him that was just so irresistible to her.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said that..” Leanne said quietly.

“So, are you ready to go back girl?”

“Yeah, we can go.” Leanne said ever so quietly.

They both made their way back to Nanu’s truck. Leanne pulled the pokeball out of her pocket and stared at it. This was hers now, her very first Pokémon. She couldn’t wait to make it her best friend. She decided she was going to name him Dex after her dog.

“So, do you have other Pokémon? Or just the one?” Questioned Leanne.

“I have some other ones. The main one I use is called Persian.”

Nanu grabbed a pokeball and out came a large purple cat with a chubby face and a blue gem on its head. Persian let out a cry as it was released. Leanne walked up to Persian and scratched it behind its ear. Persian purred as it was pet by Leanne. It’s fur was extremely soft and it appeared to be extremely well groomed.

“Heh, looks like he likes you.” Nanu smirked.

Nanu hopped in the truck and Persian and Leanne followed. Persian jumped in Leanne’s lap. Leanne stroked Persian’s soft purple fur as Nanu drove the truck down the dirt road. Persian purred and rubbed against her hand. They pulled into the police station. Nanu grabbed Persians pokeball and called it back into it.

“So, I have some stuff I have to take care of… So go train Abra or find a job or something. Now that you have your own Pokémon you don’t need to be attached to my hip anymore.” Nanu said as he lit a cigarette.

Leanne raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.. I’ll take your word for it.” Leanne grabbed her pokeball and threw it.

“Go dex!”

Leanne’s Abra popped out of the Pokeball. Leanne leaned towards Dex and pet him on the head.

“You ready to go train?”

“Abra! Ab!” Dex cried cried cheerily.

Leanne and Dex began to wonder off into the tall grass nearby.

Nanu took a puff of his cigarette. It struck him as odd how attracted she appeared to be to him. She has to have some sort of ulterior motive. No way someone so young and beautiful would want him. Nanu’s cellphone began to ring in his pocket. He fished it out of his pocket and put the old grey flip phone up to his ear.


“Nanu, it’s the Chief… do you wanna come back to work? I’ve thought about it and… what happened was just you trying to do what you thought was right.”

“Yeah of course sir.” Nanu said startled by the conversation.

“Good. You can start next week. Oh yeah, we have something coming up I want you to help with.”

“What’s that?”

“The policeman’s ball. I need someone to help organize it.”

Nanu sighed. That kind of nonsense really wasn’t his cup of tea. But, he really needed to get back on the chief’s goodside.

“Yeah, I’ll do it… do I have to go to the actual ball?”

“I’d prefer you did. Besides you can bring that cute girl with the big brown eyes as your date.” Teased the Chief.

“Ugh, I’m really sick of everyone saying stuff like that. But, I’ll see you there.” Nanu sighed and hung up the phone.

Nanu walked into the station and stepped in his room. He took off his red under shirt and his black police shirt and put a record on the record player laying next to his night stand. Nanu then haphazardly plopped down on his couch and laid down.

“Lasttt night I dreamt… that somebody loved meee..” sang the voice on the record.

Nanu looked up at the ceiling and just watched the ceiling fan whirl around as he listened to the record. Nanu grabbed yet another cigarette from his pocket lit it and stuck it in his mouth. He took a puff of it and sighed. He ran his fingers through his silvery gray hair. He wondered why he only pushed people away, like Leanne. It was because of his past. Letting people in, that’s only ever hurt him. Maybe he should give her a chance and stop pushing her away. Maybe she wasn’t like the others. All these thoughts kept spinning through his head.


Darkinium Z

Dani California
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13.6 Years
Hi there! So I got caught up on the rest of the chapters there. So we got both Nanu's and Leanne's backstories there. Real quick, concerning Leanne's backstory, what happened to Officer Hager? Yeah can see there are some romantic tension going on between Leanne and Nanu there heh. Cute that Leanne has an Abra as a Pokemon and the police ball should be fun.

Concerning gimmepie's comment on too much dialogue and little less, I sorta agree there might be some parts where you can add more body language and setting more as he mentioned. However, I also wouldn't worry getting the pacing figured out right away. You'll get better as you write more and read more works, preferably published novels. Still wish you luck on this work!

Foul Play
[Chapter Nine up!]


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59 Days
The Faller: Chapter 9: Leanne’s first battle:

Leanne and her Abra, Dex, had wondered into the tall grass behind Nanu’s house looking to train. Leanne scanned the area for any wild Pokémon but so far, no luck. All of the sudden, a wild pikipek appeared in front of her. She felt a smile purse her lips and got into a fighting stance with Dex.

“Alright Dex! Let’s go! Use psychic!” Leanne pointed towards Pikipek and yelled.

Dex placed a finger on its forehead and a large pink wave of energy emitted from it towards Pikipek. Pikipek dodged it and opened its mouth and a small puff of flames came out and hit Dex.

“Oh no! Dex are you okay?” Leanne rushed over to his side.

Dex then gave Leanne a confident nod to let her know it was fine.

“Dex use psychic again!” Leanne commanded.

Dex again let out a pulsating link wave of energy and directed it towards Pikipek. Pikipek was damaged. Pikipek then again used ember on Dex. However this time, Dex was able to dodge it. Pikipek appeared to be badly damaged from the last attack.

“Alright Dex! Finish it off with one last psychic!”

Dex let out a powerful pink wave of psychic energy and aimed it towards Pikipek, effectively knocking it out.

“Good job buddy!” Leanne reached out and patted Dex on the head. She smiled at Dex and was positively glowing. She had just won her first battle with her first Pokémon. It was extremely invigorating to her. Despite everything though, she missed home. She wondered if she would ever be able to return or if she’d be stuck her forever. Atleast if she has to be stuck here, she has Nanu and Dex. She had only been in this world for a a few days but it felt like a decade.

Leanne and Dex continued to wonder around the now wooded area. Leanne paused for a moment. She was lost, she had no idea where she was. This wasn’t good. Dex wasn’t in the best shape from the last battle so he might not be able to protect her. And she didn’t have any Pokéballs on her to catch any more Pokémon. Essentially, she was screwed. Nanu couldn’t come save her either because he didn’t know where she was. She felt herself begin to panic.

The area around her appeared to be some kind of forest. As Leanne and Dex wondered through the forest it seemed like it was never ending. All of the sudden a wild Charjbug appeared. Leanne paused. She had never seen anything like it. It appeared to be a worm. But it was box shaped? The odd looking Pokémon freaked her out a bit.

“Alright Dex…. can you handle this?” Leanne’s Brie furroughed as she worried about Dex’s state.

“Abra!Ab!” Dex cries out to let her know he was confident he could win.

“Alright Dex…. use Psychic!”

Dex let out a powerful wave of pink psychic energy towards Charjbug. It hit Charjbug head on but it didn’t seem to be phased. Charjbug then summoned a large thunderbolt and had it hit Dex head on. Dex was out cold. Leanne rushed to Dex.

“Dex! Are you okay?” Leanne held Dex in her arms.

Dex didn’t respond. It was knocked out. She realized now how screwed she was. All of the sudden a horde of Vikavolt came flying towards her. This is it, she thought. This is how she is going to die.
She began to flinch and covered her head with her arms. Suddenly, a midnight form Lyncanroc rushed to her aide.

“Lycanroc use Rock Tomb!” Shouted an unfamiliar voice in the distance.

Lycanroc gathered up a giant pile of rocks and with the swing of its paw had the rocks form a tomb around the Vikavolt. The horde of Vikavolt was badly damaged and fled. A woman with chocolate brown skin and purpleish black hair dressed scantily clad approached Leanne. It was Oliva, the kahuna of Akala island.

“Yeah… I think I’m okay… I’m just lost.”

“You’re awfully lucky I happened to be out here training right now.” Oliva crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Leanne.

Leanne got up and brushed herself off.

“Yeah, you’re telling me…” Leanne let out a sigh of relief.

Oliva raised an eyebrow. “You don’t look like you’re from Alola… are you a tourist?”

Leanne giggled, “Sure let’s go with that.. my Pokémon got badly damaged during that battle. He needs help…” A look of worry pierced her face.

Oliva glanced at Dex. “Yeah, he’s in rough shape.”

Oliva pulled a small diamond shaped seed out of her bag. It was a revive. She handed it to Leanne.

Leanne fed the revive to Dex and he got up. Although he still appeared to be in pain. Oliva pulled a spray type medicine out of her bag and sprayed it on Dex’s wounds.

“Abra! Abbb!” Cried Dex. He flinched as theuse of the potion on his wounds stung him.

“Wow, he looks a lot better now. Thank you!” Leanne had a cheery grin on her face.

Oliva smiled at Leanne, “So, where are you staying?”

“Do you happen to know Officer Nanu? I’m staying with him but… I’m not exactly sure where he lives.. or the name of the town.”

Oliva giggled, “ So old Nanu finally settled down huh?”

Leanne blushed, “ N-No! It’s not like that!”

Oliva burst out in laughter, “I know where he’s at, I’ll take you to him.”

Leanne and Dex followed Olivia and Lycanroc out of the forest. That was a close one, things could’ve gone real ugly real fast, Leanne thought to herself.

“If you want, you can train with me sometime.” Oliva said.

“I might have to take you up on that.” Leanne said cheerily.

As Leanne and Olivia moved out of the forest, she saw all kinds of Pokémon around her. Leanne looked in awe as the Pokémon moved about. Leanne’s brow furroughed yet again, she could only imagine how embarrassed she’d be once she got back to Nanu.

Leanne knew they had to be getting close, as she began to smell once again the salty ocean air. When they reached the station, she saw Nanu sitting in the bed of his pickup truck smoking a cigarette.

“Look what the Meowth dragged back.” Nanu sneered as he took a puff of his cigarette. Nanu raised an eyebrow and stared directly at Leanne.

“Do you really need to be babysat 24/7? I thought giving you a Pokémon would make you less attached to my hip.”

Nanu got up off of the tailgate of the truck and flicked his cigarette butt. He then jammed his hands in pockets and approached Leanne. Nanu looked like his normal disinterested self. She wondered if he was worried about her at all.

Oliva places her hands on her hips and faced Nanu. She scowled at him, “ You know, she could’ve died out there. Her partner fainted and she got attacked by a horde of Vikavolt. If I wasn’t there to save her…. Olivia trailed off.

Nanu’s face scrunched up as he almost looked like he was beginning to show some concern for Leanne. He sighed. Of course he was worried, but being his normal stubborn self he didn’t want to show it. He was beginning to get feelings for her and that scared him.

“Come on inside girl… I’ll draw you a bath to calm your nerves.” Nanu said apathetically


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59 Days
The faller: Chapter 10: Guzzlord returns:

Nanu turned to Olivia and looked at her with a dazed puzzled look. Olivia chuckled.

“So, you do care about this one huh? Where’d she come from?” Olivia raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a…. long story. But, long story short, she’s not from around here.”

Nanu looked Olivia up and down she looked good as ever. He had always had a thing for her. Teasing her at every chance he got to indicate his feelings like a school boy.

Nanu let out a toothy grin, “So, I’m gonna assume that by how rough you’re lookin’ that you still don’t got a man.”

Olivia huffed and her face turned beet red. She folded her arms and scowled at him.

“Looks like you’re still the same ass you always were, huh Nanu?”

Nanu smirked, “Heh, you should know that by now…”

Nanu paused for a moment. “So, uh… there’s this policeman’s ball thing. And I know it’s kinda stupid but would you want to go?” Nanu nervously ran his hands through his silky silver hair.

Olivia’s mouth was ajar and her eyebrows raised. She was shocked. She’d never known his feelings for her. She felt dumb for not seeing it sooner though. Now that she thought about it, he teased her and oogled her an awful lot. He was an attractive enough guy. But, this was Nanu that we’re talking about. Could she really see him like that?

Olivia, still in shock stayed silent.

Nanu raised an eyebrow and sighed. He then placed his hands at his hips and leaned toward.

“So, I’m gonna take your silence as a no.” He said appearing somewhat disheartened.

“No… it’s not a no. I’m just… shocked. You’re a handsome man, I just… I need some time to think on it.”

Nanu sighed, “Alright, just let me know.”

Nanu shoves his hand in his pocket and dig around until he found a loose cigarette and a lighter. He put the cigarette in his mouth, lit it and plopped in the bed of his pickup. He laid on his back and put his arms behind his head. Women were really something else, he thought to himself. He never understood ‘em and he never will. As much as he liked Leanne, he’d had his eye on Olivia for awhile. Besides, she was much closer to his age. And not only that but they’d known each other forever. Olivia was the obvious choice. What better time than now to shoot his shot? Especially when he’s getting forced to go to this policeman’s ball thing anyways. Nanu got up from the truck bed, took the cigarette butt out of his mouth and flicked it in the grass. He shoved his hands in his pockets and headed inside.

As he shut the door behind him, he saw Leanne sitting on the couch looking distressed from what had happened. He figured he should probably try to comfort her. He sat down next to her.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah… I’m fine. As a cop, I’ve come close to death a million times.”

“I think we should get you some more Pokémon… it’d be a lot safer for you.” He said.

Leanne’s eyes lit up. She was excited to get another partner Pokémon. It would sure make things a lot less lonely.

“Come with me.” Nanu got up and headed towards the door.

They both headed outside and into the tall grass yet again. As Nanu walked outside he felt a chill go down his spine. Something wasn’t right. All of the sudden the sky turned pitch black. Something told him to go back inside, to turn around. But, he shrugged it off. A large swirling vortex opened up in the sky, and out of it came the Ultra Beast Guzzlord. The giant Pokémon roared and threw out its giant black claw and grabbed Nanu. As the creature grabbed Nanu a single Pokèball fell from his pocket by Leanne’s feet.

Welp, this is it, this is how I die, Nanu thought to himself. Leanne picked up the Pokéball and threw it out came Nanu’s Persian.

“Alright Persian we need to save Nanu!” Leanne screamed.

Persian let out a cry.

“Persian use Night Slash!”

Persian swiped it’s claws and out came a giant black blade of energy aimed towards Guzzlord. Guzzlord took the hit head on and appeared to be somewhat damaged by it. Guzzlord let out a scream before dropping Nanu. Nanu fell to the ground straight on his back. Guzzlord then retreated back into the ultra wormhole and the ultra wormhole closed. Leanne called Persian back into its Pokéball.

Nanu cried out in pain and put his left hand on his back as Leanne rushed to his side.

“Nanu! Are you okay?”

“I was kinda hoping you’d let me die…. I can’t move now.”

Leanne sighed, “A thank you would’ve been nice.”

Leanne picked Nanu up and put him over her shoulder. Nanu’s brow furroughed. He was surprised by how strong she was. He was so immasculated by having a woman pick him up. It was embarrassing. Nanu’s face began to turn red. Leanne opened the door and put Nanu down on the couch. She then took his shirt off and began rubbing and putting pressure on his back.
She was surprisingly good at this Nanu thought to himself.

“I used to be a chiropractor before I became a cop. So this should help a lot.”

“This...feels…. amazing..” Nanu smirked as she rubbed his back.

“You got a lot of knots in your back.. I just need to get these worked out and you should be good.”

Leanne continued to rub his back as he laid back with a face emitting pure bliss. Nanu was surprised she risked her life to save him. Guzzlord could’ve easily killed her. Or taken her into the wormhole too. It would’ve had a vested interest in her since she was a faller. She must really care for him.

Leanne motioned for him to try to get up. Nanu got up popped his back and was able to walk perfectly fine.

“Looks like you’re more useful than I thought you were.” Nanu sneered.

Leanne rolled her eyes, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me ya know. You never took the time to ask.”

Knock! Knock! Someone knocked on the door. Nanu walked over to the door, it was Olivia.


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59 Days
The faller: Chapter 11: Ultra Beast rising:

Olivia faced Nanu, with a beet red face she looked him straight in the eye.

“So… I’ve thought about it, I’ll go with you to the policeman’s ball.”

Leanne sat there in complete shock. She’d been throwing out hints at Nanu since she got here. What does Olivia have that she doesn’t? She felt as if maybe she wasn’t good enough. Maybe her abusive ex back in her world was right. Maybe she wasn’t good enough for anyone.

Nanu looked behind him only to see a distraught Leanne. Leanne looked completely heartbroken. He felt bad. She had just saved his ass too. He’d never have anyone do anything like that for him. He sighed and scratched his head. He didn’t want to hurt Olivia’s feelings, so he was just gonna lie.

“So, uh, I’ve thought about it. And, I’m not messing with that nonsense… it’s just not for me. I also… I don’t think I’m in a place to be seeing anyone right now.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. It was HIM, that came onto her in the first place. How dare he reject her? Olivia folded her arms and scowled at Nanu.

“I see….” Olivia paused for a moment and looked to Leanne.

“So, would you want to take me up on my offer to help you and Abra train Leanne?”

“Oh…. Now? Oh okay.” Leanne got up and followed Olivia outside.

Leanne threw out Dex’s pokeball.

“Abra! Ab!” Dex cried out.

Olivia threw out a single great ball out came her Midnight Lyncanroc.

“Lycan! Rock! Rock!” Lycanroc cried out.

Olivia shook her head, still in disbelief of the situation that had unfolded.
“That Nanu… he’s sure something else huh?”

Leanne crossed her arms and scowled.

“Yeah, he’s kind of a prick.” Leanne huffed in anger.

Olivia chuckled, “That he is. So, I’m assuming that Abra is the only Pokémon you have? We’re gonna catch you another one.” Olivia handed Leanne a Pokeball as they proceeded into the tall grass.

All of the sudden a wild Absol appeared. Leanne signaled Dex to battle.

“Dex! Use psychic!”

Dex let out a powerful wave of psychic energy and aimed it towards Absol but it didn’t seem to do much. Leanne’s brow furroughed confused.

“Rule #1 Of pokemon battles… every Pokémon has a type they are strong and weak against. Since your Abra is a psychic type, it’s not very effective against Absol, a dark type. Here let me help you out. Use my Lycanroc.” Olivia signaled Lycanroc to be used by Leanne to battle. Leanne called Dex back into his Pokeball.

“Lycanroc use Rock Tomb!” Leanne shouted.

Lycanroc used the stones around it’s neck and threw them straight at Absol. It appeared to do a decent amount of damage.

Absol turned to Lycanroc and hit it with a powerful wave of dark energy, using Dark Pulse. It hit Lycanroc straight on and damaged it.

“Lycanroc Rock Tomb again!” Shouted Leanne once more.

Lycanroc again used Rock Tomb and badly damaged Absol.

Leanne threw the Pokeball at it. It wiggled around 4 times before finally being caught. She walked up to the Pokeball and gripped it in her palm. She was grinning from ear to ear. Her second Pokémon. And it was so cool looking too!
Who needs Nanu? She can get by just by herself. Leanne had always been self sufficient anyways. She never needed a man. But it was just something about that old man that caught her attention, which was a hard thing to do.

“Well, I’m gonna head out. It was nice seeing you Leanne. Call me if you ever want to train again.” Olivia waved goodbye and headed out with Lycanroc.

“See you! Thanks for helping me catch Absol!” Leanne waved to Olivia as she walked away.

Leanne sighed. Should she go back in the house and face him? It’s not like she has anywhere else she could go. Leanne inhaled and exhaled deep breaths and walked inside. Nanu was sitting on the couch with an Alolan Meowth in his lap. He was slowly stroking its purplish-silver fur. He looked up and made eye contact with Leanne.

“Look, I….” Nanu trailed off and scratched his head.

Leanne looked at Nanu with a blank uninterested stare. Her dark brown eyes glazed over.

Nanu sighed, “Do.. Do you want to go to the policeman’s ball with me?”

“I’m not a second choice. I’m a first choice or nothing. I’ve been throwing out signs this whole damn time. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. You you’re not obligated to feel the same…. just tell me.”

Nanu got up grabbed Leanne’s hands and looked her in the eyes. Leanne’s face turned beet red. It felt like those beautiful red eyes were staring straight into her soul. He smirked at her.

“I chose you.” Nanu said, and kissed Leanne. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him.

Leanne felt like she was melting. The spark between them strong enough to become a thunderbolt.

Nanu then put his hand on the side of her face and looked her in the eyes. Leanne was shocked and speechless. This wasn’t the Nanu SHE knew. She wanted to ask him, who he was and what he did with the REAL Nanu.

“So… what do you say?”

“Of course I’ll go with you.” Leanne said grinning ear to ear, beaming like a schoolgirl.

“That’s a good girl…” Nanu rubbed the back of his palm on her face and smirked again at her.

Leanne felt like she was paralyzed. Frozen in shock, if you will. She couldn’t move. Suddenly, Nanu’s phone started ringing. He looked over at his phone on the counter, it was practically ringing off the hook. It was work’s ringtone.

“Arceus…. Talk about bad timing.” Nanu sighed and walked over to pick up the phone.

“Yeah?” Said an apathetic Nanu.

“I need you to report to headquarters ASAP. Ultra Beasts have been popping up everywhere and we need to contain them.” It was the chief of police.

“Oh yeah… I forgot to call, I think I encountered that Guzzlord thing just alittle while ago.”

“WHAT?! AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ANYONE!?” Screamed the Chief.

Nanu looked over to Leanne, who was still frozen in shock. “Sorry Chief, I got alittle, uh, caught up with something.”

“Just get here ASAP.” Click! The chief hung up.

Nanu sighed and turned to Leanne, “So looks like duty calls. They want me to help hunt Ultra Beasts. Stay here, don’t go anywhere. It’s not safe.”

Leanne looked Nanu dead in the eye, “I’m not letting you go alone. I caught a new Pokémon with Olivia. It’s really strong. I don’t want anything to happen to you like last time. Please, let me come.”

“Look girlie, maybe I didn’t explain the risks. You could end up getting sucked back into the wormhole and getting stuck there forever. Or even worse, you could die.”

Leanne looked Nanu dead in the eye, “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Nanu was taken back by this. Last time he tried to get her to tangle with the ultra beasts and wormholes she said she never would. Is she really doing this all for me?

Nanu looked at Leanne with reluctance, “...Fine. You can come. But don’t leave my side. Got it?”

Little did Nanu know, much down the line, that decision to let her come, would haunt him forever. Leanne and Nanu hopped in his truck and took off towards the International Police Headquarters. As they traveled there the sky got darker and darker. Something was just not right. As they pulled into the international police headquarters, the sky turned pitch black. Agent Looker was outside waiting for them in the parking lot.

Looker turned to Nanu, “Ah! Nanu! Impeccable timing as always! I fret that this is the end time, should we not be able to neutralize this threat!”
He looked over and saw Leanne, “Ah! And I see you have brought young Leanne with you! That should draw out the Ultra Beasts since she’s the faller! We have reports that the ultra beast known as Nihlego has been spotted here in these woods behind us. Come, we must head there with haste!”

Leanne raised an eyebrow and furroughed her brow with a puzzled look on her face. What did he just call her? A faller? Leanne and Nanu followed Looker through the wooded area. Unlike the last time they had went through, there was no Pokémon around. They all appeared to be scared off by something. It was eerie how quiet it was. This whole thing felt like a setup for a horror movie Leanne thought to herself. As they headed through the woods Looker stopped in his tracks. Leanne saw it too, her face turned pale. It was the creature she saw in the ultra wormhole all those weeks ago. Leanne gulped, and threw out a Pokeball containing her newly caught Absol. Nanu threw out a Pokeball and out came his Persian. The giant Jellyfish beast let out a loud cry before it began the battle.

So I decided to end this chapter on a cliffhanger. Will this be it for Leanne? Who knows.


Seen 5 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
60 posts
59 Days
The faller chapter 12: Looker’s fate:

Leanne stood frozen in fear in front of the giant jellyfish looking beast in front of her. Her Absol turned towards her seeking battle instructions. Leanne shook her head and snapped out of it. This was the same creature that’s chased her in the ultra wormhole the first time she was sure of it.

“Absol use Bite!” Leanne commanded

Absol charged towards Nihlego and bit it fiercely in one of its tentacles and it flinched in pain. Nihlego swooped one of it’s gigantic tentacles towards Absol knocking it several feet in the air. Absol plummeted to the ground badly damaged by the attack. Leanne called Absol back into its pokeball. Nanu sighed. He knew she wasn’t ready to handle this. He threw out a Pokeball and out came his Alolan Persian.

“Persian, black hole eclipse!” Nanu shouted.

Nanu began a strange dance that Leanne hadn’t seen him do before. It puzzled her why he’d be dancing at a time like this. After he finished the dance, a strange power emitted from the bracelet he always wore, and his necklace with the black stone on it began shaking. All of the sudden, Nanu and Persian glowed with a strange dark energy. Persian charged towards Nihlego and a black hole appeared in the sky. The black hole swallowed Nihlego and spit it back out, badly damaging it.

Nihlego began charging towards Leanne. It picked her up in one of it’s tentacles.

“You’re not taking her you bastard!! Over my dead body!” Nanu shouted towards the beast.

Nanu and Persian rushed towards the beast.

“Perisan Dark Pulse now!!” Nanu shoutedin a panic.

Persian hurriedly let out a wave of pulsating dark energy and aimed it towards Nihlego. It missed it by inches.

“Persian Dark Pulse again!!”

Persian again emitted a large pulsating wave of dark energy and aimed it towards Nihlego. It hit it head on. Nihlego cried out in pain and dropped Leanne on the ground. Nihlego then emitted a wave of dark sludge and aimed it towards Perisan. It hit Persian and it collapsed from the damage it took. Nanu called Persian back into its Pokeball. He then threw out another Pokeball, out came Nanu’s Krookodile.

“Krookodile Thunder Fang now!” Commanded Nanu.

Krookodile rushed towards Nihlego and bit it while emitting thunder from its enormous teeth. Nihlego cried out again in pain, and retreated. The giant beast teleported out of sight. Nanu then called Krookodile back into it’s ball. Nanu rushed towards Leanne. His brow furroughed with apparent concern for her. Nanu looked around but couldn’t find Looker anywhere. They must’ve lost him in the chase. Oh well, he’d deal with that later. One problem at a time.

“You okay?”

Leanne cringed in pain, “Yeah…. it was just a really far drop, I think he screwed up my neck.”

Before Leanne could get another word out Nanu picked her up and carried her. Leanne was usually the self suffice type. She didn’t usually need or want anyone to come and save her. After all, she was a cop in the most dangerous city in the United States. Leanne huffed, she had mixed feelings about Nanu saving her then carrying her around. Although after that fall, walking would be pretty painful.

Nanu smirked, “You don’t gotta act so tough all the time. You know?”

Leanne rolled her eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said sarcastically. Although getting saved and carried wasn’t her style, she didn’t mind all that much. Because it was him. As Leanne put her head on Nanu’s chest she could smell the last cigarette he had and the cheap cologne he had been wearing. It was rather minty. Nanu scanned the area looking for any sign of Looker, no luck. He wasn’t even quite sure where he was. He didn’t usually venture this deep into the wooded area behind HQ. He also left his cell phone in the truck, like a dumbass. His eyes kept darting back and forth, simultaneously scanning for any wild Pokémon that might attack. He found a stump and slowly set Leanne down and sat down himself.

Nanu dug in his pocket and pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. He put the cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and took a puff.

Leanne scowled at him, “That’s such a nasty habit. That stuff kills, ya know?”

“Not soon enough…” Said Nanu as he took another puff.

“You didn’t have to carry me, I could’ve walked…”

“You don’t have to play tough all the time. It’s okay to let your guard down every once in awhile.” Nanu chuckled.

Leanne rolled her eyes at him, “Shouldn’t we be looking for Looker? We lost him awhile ago.”

Nanu sighed and got up, “Can you walk?” He then flicked his cigarette butt on the ground.

Leanne still in pain managed to get up, “Yeah, let’s go.”

As they progressed through the densely wooded area they still saw no signs of Looker. Both hoping that they’d find him alive and not as a corpse. Nanu stopped dead in his tracks. Looker’s brown overcoat was on the ground. It appeared to have been torn up, perhaps by a Pokémon. He picked it up and noticed footprints big enough to be Looker’s heading west. As he followed the tracks he got a bad feeling in the pit of his gut, and it wasn’t from bad sushi.

They then heard a loud roar from what appeared to be a Pokémon. They took off running towards it in hopes of finding Looker. All of the sudden they came face to face with a giant Bewear. Nanu threw out a Pokeball and out came Persian.

“Persian use Power Gem now!” Nanu shouted.

Persian’s gem on it’s head began to glow brightly and it emitted a purple wave of energy towards Bewear. It hit Bewear doing quite a bit of damage. Bewear then used Hammer Arm on Persian and smacked its gigantic arm down its mid section doing significant damage.

“Persian Black Hole Eclipse now!” shouted Nanu.

Persian opened up a giant black hole in the air that sucked Bewear it and spit it right back out. Bewear was knocked out. Nanu called Persian back into it’s Pokeball. It was possible that Bewear ate and or killed Looker, although he hoped this wasn’t the case.

“Come on, let’s keep looking, follow me.” Nanu shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leanne grabbed onto Nanu’s arm, and he blushed. She then smiled at him. As scary as all of this was in this world, she was still happy she found him. Her life and fiancé back in her world was less than stellar. As they were walking they found a cave and headed inside. This was likely the cave Bewear was staying in due to all the berries, honey and other food stored in it. In the cave lay an unconscious Looker, beaten and battered. Nanu shook him to try to wake him up, no luck. He then tried to feel for his pulse. He still had one he was alive, but in bad shape.

“Here, you pick up his feet, I’ll take his….” Before Nanu could finish, Leanne picked Looker up like it was nothing and threw him over her shoulder.

Nanu stood there with his eyebrows raised and obvious shock on his face.

Leanne smiled at him, “I was a power lifter back home, this is nothing.”

Leanne and Nanu trudged on through the forest. It was getting dark out, so they had to move fast. Neither one of them particularly knowing where they were going. It seemed like they were walking in circles. They were both getting increasingly tired and hungry. Even though Leanne knew she was strong, she didn’t know how much long she could carry Looker on her back. They had to get out of there though ASAP, for Looker’s sake. Nanu sighed, they were definitely going in circles. He threw out a Pokeball and out came Honchcrow. He ordered it to fly up above the trees and show them which way was the way out. Honchcrow soared up high and was able to see the way out. It swooped back down and Nanu and Leanne followed it as it lead them out of the forest.

In the distance they began to see Headquarters. Leanne let out a sigh of relief. Thank god, Looker was starting to get heavy. Must be all those Malasadas he eats. She hated how useless she was back there. Her Pokémon battling skills were subpar, and she knew she had to get better. She couldn’t always rely on someone like Nanu or Olivia saving her. One of these days she might be actually screwed.

As they approached Nanu’s truck, Leanne carefully placed looked in the backseat. They both got in and drove as fast as possible to the hospital. Nanu had to be going atleast 90 Down the road, Leanne thought to herself. As they neared the hospital a wild Stufful walked in front of the truck as they were driving.


It got hit head on. Nanu slammed on his breaks and got out.

“This is the last damn thing I need…” he mumbled.

He looked at the injured Pokémon. It appeared to still be alive, albeit barely. It was bleeding, bad. Nanu turned to Leanne. He crossed his arms and sighed.

“There’s a Pokémon center a quarter mile down the road the other way, I guess I have no choice but to take you there.” Nanu carefully picked up the injured Stufful in his arms and got back into the truck. He handed it to Leanne as he drove. Leanne looked over to Looker, he kept getting more and more pale. He looked like he was running out of time.

Nanu pulled up to the Pokémon center with a screeching halt. Leanne ran out of the truck into the Pokémon center with Stufful in her arms. Nurse joy looked over to her, horrified at the sight of the mangled creature. She immedately put Stufful on a gurney and rushed it back into the E.R room. Leanne felt someone had to stay there with the injured Stufful. Leanne ran back out to the truck.

“Hey.. I think I’m gonna stay here with this little guy… I’ll walk to the hospital when I’m done. I promise, okay?” Leanne was torn between being there for this Pokémon and being there for Looker. But, she felt an instant connection to Stufful for some odd reason.

Nanu raised an eyebrow, “Alright, but meet me back at the hospital whenever it gets patched up… if it gets patched up… I’m not sure if Looker will make it..”

Leanne nodded at Nanu and he drove off.

Leanne went back in the Pokémon center and waited in the waiting room. Eagerly awaiting the news of poor Stufful.

Nanu pulled into the hospital parking lot and carried Looker on his back into the hospital. A nurse immediately rushed up to them.

“Oh my god! What happened?!” The nurse said in a panic.

“He got attacked by a Pokémon… he’s alive but just barely.”

The nurse took Looker and immediately rushed him to the I.C.U. Nanu followed not far behind. What a terrible day this has been, he thought to himself


Darkinium Z

Dani California
Seen 3 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
5,795 posts
13.6 Years
All right, catch up time!

So, I checked real quick if Pikipek can learn Ember, and at least in Gen 7 they actaully can't. I'm assuming you thought that due to Toucannon's signature move Beak Blast, but yeah thought I should point that out.

I feel that's a bit of a sleazy move of Nanu to ask Olivia out to the ball, and then changes his mind and asks Leanne instead. Nanu does know Olivia longer so it makes more sense for him to ask her. But hey, at least now both his and Leanne's feelings are reconciled.

Hm, I feel Guzzlord's entrance was a bit underwhelming. Just a few attacks from Persian and then the big guy disappears. I thought there would be some struggle and more reaction/emotions from Nanu. You did better with his reactions when Nihlego appeared.

Yikes over Looker. Hopefully he's all right.

Foul Play
[Chapter Nine up!]


Seen 5 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
60 posts
59 Days
To be honest with you, I’m highly considering rewriting all the chapters to add more detail and make them much better. I’ve been reading a lot of fanfics, (yours included, it’s really good!) and most are much better written than mine. Which is no surprise as I haven’t written a thing in about a decade. But yeah I want to rework my chapters and make them better/more detailed/ more accurate.

All right, catch up time!

So, I checked real quick if Pikipek can learn Ember, and at least in Gen 7 they actaully can't. I'm assuming you thought that due to Toucannon's signature move Beak Blast, but yeah thought I should point that out.

I feel that's a bit of a sleazy move of Nanu to ask Olivia out to the ball, and then changes his mind and asks Leanne instead. Nanu does know Olivia longer so it makes more sense for him to ask her. But hey, at least now both his and Leanne's feelings are reconciled.

Hm, I feel Guzzlord's entrance was a bit underwhelming. Just a few attacks from Persian and then the big guy disappears. I thought there would be some struggle and more reaction/emotions from Nanu. You did better with his reactions when Nihlego appeared.

Yikes over Looker. Hopefully he's all right.


Darkinium Z

Dani California
Seen 3 Hours Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
5,795 posts
13.6 Years
To be honest with you, I’m highly considering rewriting all the chapters to add more detail and make them much better. I’ve been reading a lot of fanfics, (yours included, it’s really good!) and most are much better written than mine. Which is no surprise as I haven’t written a thing in about a decade. But yeah I want to rework my chapters and make them better/more detailed/ more accurate.
Oh I'm flattered to hear that you thought my story was good! If you have more thoughts on what you've read so far, don't be shy on commenting in the thread! And I wish you luck on rewriting the chapters! If you need a second opinion or such, I don't mind helping!

Foul Play
[Chapter Nine up!]
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