Life << new LGBTQ+ Alliance (◕‿◕)♡ Page 3

Started by Astromancer August 31st, 2020 12:07 PM
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Sandalphon

She/her
In bed
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Posted 22 Hours Ago
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7.5 Years
I don't have any friends irl so I can't really go to pride or anything. It's best to go with someone to large events or to clubs because you never know, safety first.

And my family can't stand that I'm bi and gnc.

only the strong

ruler of valkaheim | Moderator of Off-Topic

starseed the auticorn

unicorn in a human disguise

Age 32
she/her or he/him
the land of magical unicorns
Seen October 19th, 2020
Posted September 25th, 2020
6,626 posts
16.4 Years
I don't have any friends irl so I can't really go to pride or anything. It's best to go with someone to large events or to clubs because you never know, safety first.

And my family can't stand that I'm bi and gnc.
Same. Many of my LGBTQ+ friends are online. I do have a real life friend that is, but we don't live close enough to each other. Before becoming pan, I actually told my dad about being bi. He was perfectly fine with it. My mom is the one that wouldn't get it. She grew up thinking stuff like that was taboo. Even now, she thinks she accepts it, but I think if she knew my sexuality/gender preferences... she'd be like "no you aren't you don't even know that stuff" or something. >___>

Sandalphon

She/her
In bed
Seen 16 Hours Ago
Posted 22 Hours Ago
16,004 posts
7.5 Years
Same. Many of my LGBTQ+ friends are online. I do have a real life friend that is, but we don't live close enough to each other. Before becoming pan, I actually told my dad about being bi. He was perfectly fine with it. My mom is the one that wouldn't get it. She grew up thinking stuff like that was taboo. Even now, she thinks she accepts it, but I think if she knew my sexuality/gender preferences... she'd be like "no you aren't you don't even know that stuff" or something. >___>
Oh, I don't have friends online either.
There's more lgbt people online which is reassuring though.

only the strong

ruler of valkaheim | Moderator of Off-Topic

Hyzenthlay

Age 20
The neglected garden
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?

I’d say the most active support I’ve offered is voting yes to gay marriage in Australia. Multiple times actually, because I got to vote on the behalf of a few others!

Otherwise there really isn’t much you can do in my small town and I’m not a fan of large gatherings/parties, so I likely wouldn’t attend a parade etc. for that reason aha. I’m more of a passive member but I’ll still do my part when I can! Like with voting. :)

Fox

She/Her
Foxland
Seen 1 Hour Ago
Posted 1 Hour Ago
597 posts
6.6 Years
Username: Foxy
Pronouns: She/Her but don't mind They/Them
Gender: Female
Romantic orientation: Panromantic
Sexual orientation: Pansexual
Relationship status: Casually seeing someone? (It's complicated..lol)

Regardless to what I talked about in "stereotypes" below, I am still struggling a tad bit with my identity. I feel like I look the way I do based on trends and fashion. But if I'm being honest with myself, I've always been attracted to Androgyne and have felt a strong pull towards being Androgynous. After cutting my hair short, it's like I'm feeling closer to being the true me. Unfortunately my wardrobe remains very girly since it's a little hard to afford some new masculine clothes. But when the time comes, I will surely feel it out.


Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
Yes, I am. Growing up with two wonderful moms helped me not to be afraid of what others think of me. I think watching my mom love another woman while growing up is what changed everything for me. I first kissed another girl when I was 16 or so. I was heavily confused for awhile, and started dating girls. I tried to explain that I was bisexual but something about it didn't fit just right. I started finding my self attracted to all genders as I got older. Love, to me, did not stop at someone's gender. I met someone else who was Pansexual(never heard the term before) and they explained to me what it meant to them and suddenly that's what clicked with me. I started openly telling anyone who asked that I was Pans around the age of 20 (am now 26). But thanks to my parents for giving me the courage to love like I do and not to worry about judgement.


Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
Growing up, I was a tomboy. And when I first started becoming confused about my sexuality, I would dress more boyish. But now, I'm a very materialistic female. Probably your average "basic white girl" stereotype. So I would say, yes. lol

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I used to attend Pride every year with either my parents or my friends. My parents like to travel to LGBTQ Conventions and work at them, so sometimes I would tag alone. Where I live now, I don't really have a big pool of IRL friends, but back home I would say about 80% of my friend group were LGBTQ and we would always be out doing stuff for the community.
FOX

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Sandalphon

She/her
In bed
Seen 16 Hours Ago
Posted 22 Hours Ago
16,004 posts
7.5 Years
If I can get someone to agree I'll see if I can go to Pride. I'm getting out more now so hopefully I'll develop some friendships. NS has a pretty good LGBT pop.

only the strong

ruler of valkaheim | Moderator of Off-Topic
Age 20
she/her
Seen October 10th, 2020
Posted October 3rd, 2020
17 posts
66 Days
Username: MadisonSteel
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers
Gender: Trans Female
Romantic orientation: Biromantic
Sexual orientation: Asexual
Relationship status: Single

I'm out to my parents, sister, most friends at school, and a few relatives. I'm involved in some LGBT stuff like my school's club and sometimes pride. I'm not really very actively part of the community though. I'm not really out, but I also don't really hide it either. Kind of an open secret that I'm trans.

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast

Age 18
Any
Oregon
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted October 12th, 2020
199 posts
2.2 Years
Username: Neb
Pronouns: Any
Gender: Fluid (questioning)
Romantic orientation: panromantic with a preference towards girls and NB people.
Sexual orientation: Pansexual
Relationship status: Single

Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? Despite being raised by lesbian parents, I never really knew about the community until my teen years. When I came out as pan I got some pushback at school, so I kept it to myself. Only recently have I started to walk flamboyantly. I’d like to wear dresses outside of pride events, but I’m still too afraid of harassment. To show my support I change my online persona every June.

Name: Lucky
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage

pastelspectre

Simp for Ethan Nestor

Age 23
he/him
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted 2 Weeks Ago
2,097 posts
10.6 Years
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?

Would say I’m active, I think..am pretty vocal about supporting lgbtq stuff, even on family Facebook where have some close minded family members added.

Am pretty vocal about it.. online but being vocal irl is kinda scary
credit to markipoggers on twitter for avatar

Eleanor

💖

Age 21
Italy
Online now
Posted 1 Hour Ago
1,692 posts
4.4 Years
This may be pretty random but... starting today, it's Ace Week! Or Asexual Awareness Week if you will. It will go on from October 25th to 31st.
That said, and given that there are a few ace people in this group also, why not discuss about this orientation a bit more? Something that I feel like asking, in particular, is... how important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself?

I've always been uncertain of this actually. I feel like my asexuality would really impact only my future partner's life and relationship with me, and... not to be the devil's advocate here, but asexuality is just not something that can be spotted, like for example two men holding their hands can be interpreted right away as them being gay. (And yes I know this is just an assumption people make and probably shouldn't, but I guess this is the kind of world we still live in today). And yet, being able to raise awareness on asexuality as a whole, being just proud of my asexuality, and in a way letting my potential partner already know what my boundaries are, seems equally enticing. I feel like this kind of thought process could be applied to some other identities or orientations too, so I'd like to hear some of your thoughts on this if you don't mind!

That said, happy Ace week everybody!




Eleanor 💖
Paired with Ninetales 🌸 Moderator of Challenges and Writer's Lounge 🌸 Sig art

Fairy

she / her
Laverre City
Seen 4 Days Ago
Posted 5 Days Ago
10,779 posts
9.5 Years
This may be pretty random but... starting today, it's Ace Week! Or Asexual Awareness Week if you will. It will go on from October 25th to 31st.
That said, and given that there are a few ace people in this group also, why not discuss about this orientation a bit more? Something that I feel like asking, in particular, is... how important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself?

I've always been uncertain of this actually. I feel like my asexuality would really impact only my future partner's life and relationship with me, and... not to be the devil's advocate here, but asexuality is just not something that can be spotted, like for example two men holding their hands can be interpreted right away as them being gay. (And yes I know this is just an assumption people make and probably shouldn't, but I guess this is the kind of world we still live in today). And yet, being able to raise awareness on asexuality as a whole, being just proud of my asexuality, and in a way letting my potential partner already know what my boundaries are, seems equally enticing. I feel like this kind of thought process could be applied to some other identities or orientations too, so I'd like to hear some of your thoughts on this if you don't mind!

That said, happy Ace week everybody!

Yes! Happy Asexual Awareness Week! I'm so glad we're able to have time to observe a lesser understood orientation. I can't answer any questions about being Ace/Aro, but I'd certainly love for those who are to share their stories. :)


edit: sorry for the double notif i had to fix a typo ;;


Sandalphon

She/her
In bed
Seen 16 Hours Ago
Posted 22 Hours Ago
16,004 posts
7.5 Years
I'm ace bi myself. As in I'll date anyone regardless of gender but I don't have any real sexual attraction. However, I won't judge anyone based on how much or how little sex they have. It's peoples personal life you know?

only the strong

ruler of valkaheim | Moderator of Off-Topic

Hyzenthlay

Age 20
The neglected garden
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
How important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself?

I'd say it's pretty important to understand this part of yourself because feeling no/minimal sexual attraction or not desiring physical intimacy are usually game-changers when it comes to relationships... so any prospective partner needs to be aware of that. I was very confused over whether I was asexual because I still felt romantic attraction. Nobody understood, that, though - it's under the surface of things. Peers have just assumed I'm a prude or something because I reject sexual advances, I don't fawn over people for their bodies, and I cannot for the life of me fathom wanting to hook up with people I hardly know.

Media made me even more confused over this, because promiscuity and sexuality are so heavily focused on. Was I weird for not being that way, too...? I feel pretty excluded from others my age because of this. I haven't told anyone in real life simply because they wouldn't understand. I guess I don't need to now that I'm in a hetero relationship, anyway?

My relationship with Revise formed from a long, really close friendship, and by 2019 I started having... other feelings haha. That's when I found out I'm demi! Although I didn't realise that label even existed until recently lol. Glad I found it. <3

Happy asexual awareness week!
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Today is born sparkling
Like the day when we first met

Eleanor

💖

Age 21
Italy
Online now
Posted 1 Hour Ago
1,692 posts
4.4 Years
I've actually learned about asexuality right at the beginning of this year's pride month, and it was really all thanks to chance. Someone just posted a selection of pride related emojis and I just asked more information about one that I'd never seen before. And there it was, I spend days looking up more information about asexuality and found out it fit very well with me. I started labeling myself as asexual, still reassured by the fact that it acted as an umbrella term for many other identities as well, and I found that quite comfortable.

I realized only later that I was more leaning towards actually asexual than say, demisexual or graysexual though. Or at least, that is what I'm feeling right now! The fact that I'm still very inexperienced with any sort of relationship, both on a physical level and on a mental level, is actually still making me think that my labels could change in the future, but I'm happy where I stand for now. And if you look at the other side of things... that same inexperience is probably there because of asexuality!

Some more signs that I'm asexual? Well, I've always been kind of a prude - not so much now as I used to be, but yeah. Most of that attitude was unjustified and I feel like I can safely leave it behind me, but it still lingers sometimes I suppose, especially irl. And also... I've been thinking over this for a bit but I feel like there is a disconnection between instinct and reason, so to speak. I can't quite find a meaning for some of the things I feel. And that's as far as I can go...

Thank you all for your contributions during ace week and, I hope that this answers your question, Fairy!



Eleanor 💖
Paired with Ninetales 🌸 Moderator of Challenges and Writer's Lounge 🌸 Sig art
Age 21
Somewhere in Australia
Seen 2 Hours Ago
Posted 3 Weeks Ago
56 posts
1.4 Years
I only recently learnt what demisexuality was when I was chatting online with someone who was demi. I thought that that could be me, since I have only experienced attraction to one person, my best friend, with whom I've now in a relationship with for more than two years. Growing up, I never had a crush on anyone and I've never known how to answer questions about the attractiveness of others.

I've never really considered coming out as demi mainly for two reasons:

1. I'm still trying to work out if I'm really demi or hetero or somewhere in between. Even though I've never been attracted to strangers, I still find I have some preference for certain physical characteristics, though I find that personality is far more important to me. That confuses me, since I'm not sure if demi people have physical prefs or not. I also feel like I have a high libido, but no real sexual interest outside of my partner.

2. From an outside perspective, I lead a heterosexual life, so I'm not sure if I have any need to come out as demi? I also see a lot of ridicule online towards demisexuality so I'm pretty hesitant. I also feel like though it's a nice-to-know thing, it hasn't really been an important part of who I am.

Sorry if this a bit of a ramble, this is like the first time I've actually discussed I could be on the ace spectrum 😅

"caw caw"

Hyzenthlay

Age 20
The neglected garden
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Hours Ago
I've actually learned about asexuality right at the beginning of this year's pride month, and it was really all thanks to chance. Someone just posted a selection of pride related emojis and I just asked more information about one that I'd never seen before. And there it was, I spend days looking up more information about asexuality and found out it fit very well with me. I started labeling myself as asexual, still reassured by the fact that it acted as an umbrella term for many other identities as well, and I found that quite comfortable.

I realized only later that I was more leaning towards actually asexual than say, demisexual or graysexual though. Or at least, that is what I'm feeling right now! The fact that I'm still very inexperienced with any sort of relationship, both on a physical level and on a mental level, is actually still making me think that my labels could change in the future, but I'm happy where I stand for now. And if you look at the other side of things... that same inexperience is probably there because of asexuality!

Some more signs that I'm asexual? Well, I've always been kind of a prude - not so much now as I used to be, but yeah. Most of that attitude was unjustified and I feel like I can safely leave it behind me, but it still lingers sometimes I suppose, especially irl. And also... I've been thinking over this for a bit but I feel like there is a disconnection between instinct and reason, so to speak. I can't quite find a meaning for some of the things I feel. And that's as far as I can go...

Thank you all for your contributions during ace week and, I hope that this answers your question, Fairy!
So you're very new to this as well! In that case, there's a lot to discover, I imagine! Once you find that special someone, especially. :D I definitely understand you on having more of an instinct for it that can't quite be reasoned. That makes it feel more right though, at least for me, like its not a choice I'm making but just who I am! Can also relate to being a prude because don't even get me started on lewd anime, ahaha

Actually, on that subject, does anyone else on the ace spectrum find they more or less only see/"ship" platonic relationships in media? Because I do! As in, others will be all "they're so gay for each other" or "X girl and X boy are the OTP", and I'm always the one who's like... why can't they just be friends? lol. I inflict my asexual side onto everything. xD

I only recently learnt what demisexuality was when I was chatting online with someone who was demi. I thought that that could be me, since I have only experienced attraction to one person, my best friend, with whom I've now in a relationship with for more than two years. Growing up, I never had a crush on anyone and I've never known how to answer questions about the attractiveness of others.

I've never really considered coming out as demi mainly for two reasons:

1. I'm still trying to work out if I'm really demi or hetero or somewhere in between. Even though I've never been attracted to strangers, I still find I have some preference for certain physical characteristics, though I find that personality is far more important to me. That confuses me, since I'm not sure if demi people have physical prefs or not. I also feel like I have a high libido, but no real sexual interest outside of my partner.

2. From an outside perspective, I lead a heterosexual life, so I'm not sure if I have any need to come out as demi? I also see a lot of ridicule online towards demisexuality so I'm pretty hesitant. I also feel like though it's a nice-to-know thing, it hasn't really been an important part of who I am.

Sorry if this a bit of a ramble, this is like the first time I've actually discussed I could be on the ace spectrum 😅
Ah, I'm exactly the same, in a two year relationship with my best friend! I also have such preferences myself - though physical characteristics mean far less compared to personality, as you say. I imagine that's a normal thing with demis? Because I'm definitely still hetero romantic with masculine prefs. This is what confused me to start with as well, but I feel more validated as a demi when others like me feel the same!

Anyway, this is the first I've heard of ridicule towards demis, so I was just wondering what kind of ridicule you've come across? I'm super new to this myself!
🌲💞🍀
Today is born sparkling
Like the day when we first met
Age 21
Somewhere in Australia
Seen 2 Hours Ago
Posted 3 Weeks Ago
56 posts
1.4 Years
Ah, I'm exactly the same, in a two year relationship with my best friend! I also have such preferences myself - though physical characteristics mean far less compared to personality, as you say. I imagine that's a normal thing with demis? Because I'm definitely still hetero romantic with masculine prefs. This is what confused me to start with as well, but I feel more validated as a demi when others like me feel the same!

Anyway, this is the first I've heard of ridicule towards demis, so I was just wondering what kind of ridicule you've come across? I'm super new to this myself!
Well it's definitely reassuring to hear someone else have super similar experiences to me! Yeah I would imagine that's normal for demis - I've just never really meet another one/discussed it before.

In terms of ridicule, it was just when I was really discovering what demisexuality was I'd often find people on online forums etc dismissing it as just being normal, or that people just wanna claim they're something just so that they're special, or just people joking about it, but I feel like that really dismisses what being demi is? Like I agree that it is not 'abnormal' but it definitely is different from the hetero normal view of attractiveness.

"caw caw"

RadEmpoleon

Empress of Randomness

Female
the shredded cheese in your fridge
Seen 1 Hour Ago
Posted 1 Hour Ago
793 posts
1.5 Years
Mind if I join?

Username: RadEmpoleon
Pronouns: she/her
Gender: female
Romantic orientation: (idk what this means sorry)
Sexual orientation: straight
Relationship status: single

I’m not LGBT myself but I support! Consider me an ally! Although I probably need all these different terms explained to me.

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Caite-chan

...blasting off again!

Age 33
Female
Vermillion City
Seen 36 Minutes Ago
Posted 14 Hours Ago
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17 Years
YAY another Ally. No worries I'm on the same page as you when it comes to all the different terms.
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Nah

Age 28
Female
Seen 1 Hour Ago
Posted 2 Hours Ago
Romantic orientation: (idk what this means sorry)
Basically it's that what you're interested in in a relationship and what you're physically/sexual attracted to or turned on by don't necessarily have to match up. It's a difficult concept for many people to grasp since it is newer to societal consciousness than sexual orientation, and sex and relationships have been for centuries (or millennia even) entwined in the minds of most people. Typically if you're heterosexual, you're heteroromantic. Typically if you're homosexual, you're homoromantic. Typically if you're bisexual, you're biromantic/panromantic.

What is maybe an easy way to understand it is to think of asexual people. You've probably bumped into someone either online or irl who has no interest in sex or no sex drive, but is in or is interested in a relationship. Or to use a slightly more personal example, I am aromantic, but am not disinterested in sex.
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“No, I... I have to be strong. Everyone expects me to."