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Old 4 Weeks Ago (2:05 PM). Edited 4 Weeks Ago by SorveteQuente.
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SorveteQuente SorveteQuente is offline
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    Join Date: Apr 2018
    Location: Brazil
    Age: 16
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Calm
    Posts: 417
    Wow, reading this made me inspired to write some fics to, you're doing a pretty good job so far. I'm still reading Chapter 4 and the atmosphere in Alola is very comfy from Grimsley's perspective, even though he's been through some funky stuff in the first few days there. Also, Acerola is a great character here.

    I felt like the start of the first chapter was a bit rushed, especially in the first Grimsley-Iris dialogue. I guess you didn't want to linger his trip to Alola too much, but I feel like you could do better with the dialogue. That's one of my few complaints though, and I guess the only major one.

    Looking forward to finishing Chapter 4 and reading the other ones, seems like you have posted the seventh one recently. Good luck with your story!
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