[Pokémon] Psychic Poker

-Prologue-
The Meowstic walked up to the store counter using telekinesis to carry a carton of eggs. "I'd like to buy this... again."

The Pidgeot clerk squinted at the cat. "I... didn't you just buy eggs yesterday?"

"Pff yeah. I just had some cooking errors, that's all." He bought the eggs.
He walked home, merrily humming some random tune. He lived in a treehouse. It was rather clean and all that with about 4 pictures on the walls depicting him and his sister. You hardly would ever see the sister. She was always out doing something either shady or ridiculous.

The Meowstic turned on his stove and plopped a frying pan(YES ITS A FRYING PAN) onto it. After all that he just cracked two eggs on the pan and slowly watched them.
This is taking forever... Maybe I should just use my psychic powers on the egg.

He remembered what his sister said the other night. "Stop cooking eggs! You keep burning them or worse! And also stop eating eggs! They taste terrible!"

Pff yeah right sis, i'm all grown up and mature. The look on your face when you get home...

...is gonna be terrible. A Swampert was spraying water all over the treehouse while a Slowking was questioning Meowstic, filling out a clipboard. "Annnddd how did this fire happen?"

The Meowstic lied. He did not want his sister to hear any of this. "I don't know, some fire-type was probably messing around or something. I just came back from the Pokemart."

The Slowking squinted a lot with his semi-psychic powers. "Surrrrrrrrre."

"Please don't tell anyone about the fire, okay?" Meowstic said.

A Kadabra randomly appeared between the two. "Hey guys. The tree got lit up from a cooking accident."

Oh crap. I'm gonna lose my favorite stove.

Blank. Edited because I regret things.

Razgrey said:

Oh crap. I'm gonna lose my favorite stove.

Click to expand...

Hahaha, I love this! I think my favourite part was the Meowstic being questioned for buying eggs. That was the best written part because the humour worked well written out--the character voices were also spot on.
Another part I really liked was the jump from "The look on your face when you get home..." to "...is gonna be terrible". It's a very visual style of comedy which I can definitely appreciate. The mental image of a Meowstic cooking eggs with a smug look on his face cutting to a blazing inferno with the same Meowstic watching on is simply great.

There's a couple little parts which could be touched up like adding a line breaks between certain dialogue paragraphs and description paragraphs, but you'd probably catched it with a bit of proofreading.

On the whole though, I really liked it. Hope you stick around!

AN: Due to the fact that I removed the details of Jasper's sister, I have touched up on the intro a bit.
Part 1: Mischief
Forest of Makan,
Night

Jasper was sitting on the couch, covering his face.
Whisper is gonna kill me...
The fire was gone, though a gaping hole in a section of the treehouse had appeared.

Always a troublemaker, as if that was a bad thing.

Someone knocked on the door, but Jasper just randomly knew it was a stranger. Danger.

He walked over to the door and opened it anyway. "Who're you?" A shiny Anorith was on the porch.

"I'm here to collect your rent." The Anorith said.

Jasper frowned. "Are you Makan the Anorith?"

"Er- yes!"

Jasper then smiled. "If you are Makan, of the Forest of Makan, then you would know why the Forest of Makan is called the Forest of Makan, right?"

"Because I brought the idea of treehouses into Kalos." The Anorith replies.

You might've read some books but you're just an apprentice on this sort of thing.
"Correct." Jasper cleared his throat. "And you would know that you are not Makan and Makan doesn't charge rent. Also, I am not Makan but I charge rent."

The Anorith, who wasn't Makan got a little irritated. "Can it."

"Nope." Jasper gave the shiny Anorith a hard kick, sending it several yards into the air. "That was difficult. I need some shuteye."

He closed the door and laid on the couch.
Baloney.

A few minutes pass, or was it an hour? But Jasper heard someone climbing up the treehouse. He opened his eyes and just stared at the door, uninterested.

A female Meowstic unlocked the door(which used an ID based magic lock thing) and entered, holding a phone to her ear. "Yeah, I'll see you in a bit, then." She tossed the phone into the air a few feet, which just disappeared in a pink burst of energy.

Whisper, Jasper's older sister looked at the hole in the ground. She face palmed, like she was used to spontaneous combustion in her house. "Jasper, what are you doing..."

"What did I do?" Jasper asked.

"Did you try frying another egg?" Whisper said, searching through the kitchen drawers.

Jasper relaxed, as if he didn't nearly cause a forest fire. "Definitely did not."

Whisper found what she was looking for: A twisted spoon. "Now I have to use a timewarp on the tree house again; because there's now a big hole in the wall again!"

Jasper raised an eyebrow, looking at the spoon. "What's with the bent spoon?"

"It's a twisted spoon. It gives me more powerful psychic energies if I use it."

Jasper blinked, because that didn't make any sense. Whisper shook her head and sighed. "I don't need to explain this to you because you'll forget it."

"Nah, you should explain because i'll be questioning the powers of a utensil my whole life. And why can't it be a fork?"

"Forks are dangerous." Whisper replied. She then proceeded to unfold her ears, letting out her intense psychic energies. Jasper barely paid any attention. Within a few seconds, the charred section of the treehouse was fixed. "Now, Jasper. I'm going to ask again. Did you try frying an egg this morning?"

"No."

Whisper walked right in front of Jasper and leaned up in his face. "Okay that's it. We're doing this the hard way." Whisper's ears unfolded once again, and she started trying to read Jasper's mind.

Jasper countered by unfolding his ears. Despite the fact that he was having to concentrate dangerous psychic energies, he was smiling anyway.

After about 10 seconds, Whisper gives up and just says: "You were cooking eggs."

Jasper scoffed. "Tch. You didn't even read my mind correctly that time and you let up earlier than usual."

"Because you're stopping me."

"I'm stopping you because of priv-"

"SHUT UP! I'm so tired of dealing with whatever nonsense you make up whenever I come home! So tonight, you're coming to the Honchkasino whether you like it or not and you're wearing a tie!"

Jasper rolled off his chair and knelt down on his knees, looking at the roof of the treehouse. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Whisper ignored Jasper and checked the nearby clock. "Alright we're going in 67 minutes and 13 seconds. Better get ready. I gotta run an errand now." She ran out the front door to the nearby town.

Grocery Store
The Pidgeot waved Whisper as she entered. "Heya."

Whisper looked at him for a few seconds, then calmly asked: "Hey, has my brother been buying cartons of eggs from you?"

The cashier thought for a second. "Does he look like you, but blue?"

"Yes."

"Yeah he bought plenty of eggs from-"

Whisper jumped up onto the counter and grabbed the cashier, pulling his face up to hers. "OKAY, listen very closely. Don't sell my brother any eggs ever or you'll regret it, GOT IT!?"

The Pidgeot whimpered. "Okay, okay I got it scary lady!"

Whisper calmed down and acted like nothing happened. "Thank you." Then proceeded to leave and walk home.

When she opened the door to the treehouse Jasper had his face to the floor. "Wsssprr. Mfff mfh mrrk mmmrrw." After a delay he lifted his head and said: "I got work tomorrow."

"Deal with it. Now stand up please, because that's not sanitary." After Jasper stood up, whisper pinned a tie to Jasper.

………

It took him a few seconds to register what just happened. Then he fell to the floor and started flailing around wildly. "OH GAWD HELP ITS CHOKING ME GAAAAAH ARCEUS HELP ME PLEASE ASUHDYUASDUBFHSDIUHFISYDG-"

Honchkasino

Whisper walked to the casino a bit slower, since she was dragging Jasper by the tie he was wearing. "Cmon… almost there."

A few minutes passed as Whisper slowly walked over to the receptionist, a Kricketot. "Okay… Phew. Okay, Carl. I got a guest today since I can't be bothered to leave him at home."

Carl the Kricketot stood up to find Jasper laying on the floor. Then cleared his throat. "How old is he?"

"Sixteen." He replied.

Carl sighed. "Sorry Whisper, but we can't let this juvenile in if all he's gonna do is just laze around. We can't have kids loitering around."

"I'm not a kid." Jasper said quietly.

Whisper giggled humorlessly. "That's not a problem. He's fine with waiting outside." She walked her brother outside and then started threatening him like the perfect sibling she was. "If you try to leave or go home then I WILL KILL YOU!"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

And so, he was just standing outside the casino aimlessly, scrolling through his phone.
He sent a message to his friend in Hoenn.
'How do I fry an egg?'

The response was lame.
'I don't know, ask someone else! I don't know anything about cooking!'
From a cranky Gardevoir who got cranky from being ridiculed for being male.

He sighed and put the phone back into his pocket dimension.

…

...then he started looking around mischievously. There were a few people nearby. Maybe he should prank them. Nah.

Suddenly, his tie actually started to try and choke him. "OH ARRRUAUGH HRUUU HELP ITS CHOKING ME FOR REAL THIS TIME ARCEUS HELP AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK HELP ME GAAAAAHHH-"

Part 2: Another Charlatan
Jasper's tie kept choking him. Nobody cared, they thought he was just making it up until the tie started dragging him into a nearby alley.

He was opened his eyes to see who dragged him. A butterfree. Probably some cranky lady. "Hey! I know you cheated during that one poker match! Give me my money back!"

Jasper took a few breaths, then stood up nonchalantly and fixed his beret. "Or what, you're gonna use X-Scissor on me? In fact the only bug-type move you know is String Shot."

The butterfree psychically picked up Jasper and slammed him against the wall. "Shut up! Give me my money back or i'll beat you up!"

He reacted by holding out a twisted spoon. "Nah-ah-ah. I got a twisted spoon."

"A what?"

Jasper sighed. "Do I have to explain this everytime someone asks?" Despite the fact that he didn't know what a twisted spoon was earlier, he easily explained. "A spoon takes an immense psychic energy to bend and twist into pasta, when the spoon gets bent, the psychic's power is imprinted onto the spoon, which starts to radiate psychic energies until it's unbent. But what do I know?"

The butterfree tried tackling Jasper, but his form disappears. She turned around to see 9 Meowstic facing her. "Double team!?"

"It's my special move."

"Where are you!?"

"That's a secret. Anyways, now that the cameras have seen my own tie choking me-" Jasper takes a second to unclip the tie from his body and throw it on the ground. "You're going to get arrested for some reason."

"For some reason?"

"Pfft, I don't care about reading boring books. My sister just reprimands me and i'm fine." Jasper said as if it wasn't a problem, which it likely wasn't.

The butterfree got angry and started using useless tackles on the clones, but Jasper started making more than she could count. "Watch it lady, you wouldn't want to slip."

"What's going on over here!" A giant Metagross loudly walked up to the two. "And you! Meowstic! Disable your Double Team now!"

Jasper complied, actually getting slightly intimidated for once. Every one of the illusions faded, leaving Jasper standing on a nearby lamp. He teleported down in front of the Metagross.

"Explain yourselves. The security cameras recording you-" The metagross somehow pointed at Jasper with one of his appendages. "-saw that you were getting choked and dragged into an alley."

Jasper cleared his throat before talking and then pointed at the butterfree near him. "She accused me of cheating in a game that I don't play. My sister is the one playing Poker, not me."

The butterfree frowned. "Wait- hey!"

The metagross concentrated for a second, then stared hard at the butterfree. "I'm going to have to detain you for assaulting another Pokemon."

"As if- you can't-" The metagross psychically grabbed the butterfree and started moving her inside. "This isn't over yet! Your sister is gonna pay for cheating!"

...Jasper walked back to the front of the casino and checked his phone. He got text messages from his friends in Hoenn, because he asked them all if they knew how to cook an egg.

'What's an egg?'
An Aggron. Just tanks and doesn't do much else.

'You burn it with fire.'
A powerful Salamence, who was somehow able to type a text message despite not having any opposable thumbs or hands.

'I can do anything but cook an egg.'
Slade the Linoone. He was a handyman. He could… cut, flash, rock smash, and surf. Especially Surf.

'STOP MESSAGING ME!'
Oh. He already messaged cranky Gardevoir.

'I don't know.'
That was the most useful response ever. He didn't even remember who he texted to.

"Ugggggh." Jasper sighed and stuffed the phone in his pocket dimension.

Meanwhile…

"You're gonna lose so hard that you'll be paralyzed just thinking about me." Whisper said to the opposing Alakazam.

He looked at his cards for a second. He was getting a little nervous… He wished he had Synchronize. He folded.

"Hah." Whisper showed her cards. Useless King high.

The Gallade at the table started laughing aimlessly while the Alakazam slammed the table in anger.

"Come on then, boys. Still think you can beat me?" Whisper taunted.

The Alakazam wasn't nervous anymore. "This isn't over yet."

They played hard. Bets were made. Texas Hold 'em was getting intense. Wait what's Texas? ...nevermind.

With four players still playing with the other four having folded, the Gallade bet a hefty 500(Everyone starts with 1000). Whisper's competitive ability wasn't just for battles. She gave an angry expression to the rest of the players, then unfolded her ears.

"Woah, what're you doing?" Said the random Cradily at the table.

Intense psychic powers were beginning to emit from whisper visibly. After a brief delay, she teleported all of her chips into the pot and then folded her ears.

...too dramatic?

Everyone but the Alakazam folded. "No, she's bluffing! Just watch!" He went all in too.

"You're screwed." They both flipped their cards over. Alakazam had two pairs, 8 and a 9, but Whisper had a full house somehow. 7, 8, 9, 10, Jack. Whisper smiled.

"ARRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!"
Due to annoyance of our guests by your extreme noise, you have been temporarily kicked from the casino. ~Security Chief Mobius, Honchkasino

Saturday night special. Within minutes Whisper had dominated everyone at the table: Cocky Gallade, Meh Cradily, Adamant Yanma, and a random Natu.

Nobody questioned the fact that Whisper was able to cram all the chips into her pocket. "Thank you." was all she had to say.

...her ear twitched a bit. "Wait wait stop stop don't move!"

The security Metagross looked around, sensing something. "Hmm…"

Chips started floating in the air, with several occupants looking in disbelief. One chip, ten chips, one hundred chips.

"There are Ghost-types stealing the chips!" Whisper yelled.
"Attention security, I need backup NOW! Ghost-types are stealing!" Metagross said on his 'earpiece'.

Some of the gamblers started to use their non-normal/fighting attacks or ran away with whatever money they had in their possession while security started to roll in.
Starting with a fedora-wearing Swellow. "Take 'em."

A dozen Murkrow, all wearing Black Glasses, started to come flying in through the door and windows. They immediately started attacking the ghosts, which turned visible.

Sableye.

Whisper sensed a presence behind her, and sucker punched it. It revealed itself: a Mega Sableye. Not this crap…

Whisper's only attack that was useful against it was Sucker Punch, and she wasn't the best at punching, but whatever. She kept punching the Sableye.

………

...Jasper was still standing outside. ~Hey Jasper! Help me! We're being attacked by ghosts trying to steal our chips!~

He chuckled and crossed his arms. They're ghosts. They can't eat chips.

~Shut up and help us!~ Jasper teleported into the casino, without his tie(because it was so ugly). "Heyyyyy guys what's up?" Sableye everywhere stealing chips and using sand attacks and smokescreens on the customers.

Jasper whistled. Loudly. Very Loudly.

It got everyone's attention, even the ghosts'. "Watch outtt!" Jasper started to envenom all the Sableye with Toxic carefully, easily. And soon, through all the chaos, the only Pokemon in the casino were the Metagross, Swellow, Murkrows, Sableyes, and the Meowstic.
Jasper was casually running around spamming Double Team and Thunderbolt, because he could.
Whisper and the Metagross were using whatever worked against the Mega Sableye.
The Security team was just pecking everything that they didn't like.

Too bad. "ENOUGH." The Mega Sableye said. It evaded Whisper's next punch and grabbed her, then disappeared out of sight, along with all the other Sableye.

"Whisper!!!" Jasper yelled. All of his Double Team illusions faded as he ran around, panicked.

"Those idiots stole most of our Poker Chips." the Swellow said.

The Metagross carefully walked around all the broken tables and chairs. "They teleported very far away from here somehow. You; kid."

Jasper ignored him and kept checking around nervously.

"HEY!" He got his attention. "You have a telepathic link with your sister, right?"

"...she's not responding."

"Now what're supposed to do?" the Swellow angrily said.

Jasper rubbed his ears for a second. "Well there is one thing I could try… but i've never done it before…"

"What?"

"I could try traveling through the pocket dimension."

I would appreciate if someone made a character for this story. It's boring when I just have characters that only I have bland interactions and comments.

Like Miz En Scene, I thought the first part/prologue started off strong humor wise. The transition from Jasper cooking to then being question makes for an amusing scene. Part two I feel the humor was a bit flat, though, whenever Jasper screams about the tie being tight. As for the last part, the humor was a bit better (the text messages and Whisper's poker game) and there's actually some plot going on. Shall be interesting, and loads of shenigians, over Jasper going to try to open the pocket dimension.

With the character signups, me personally I rather either just try your best coming up with other characters your main ones can interact with or maybe in private brainstorm with your friends. When you ask for signups in public like this, unless you're doing forum roleplaying, sometimes you run the risk of portraying someone else's character the way they don't like, but that's just me. I also would rather have the threads here be feedback on the stories themselves and not overflow with signups.

AN: Unfortunately, all my stories seem to transition from Comical to either Dark or Unintelligible, because I just like semi-edgy stories. Hopefully it's not the latter.

Part 3: Killing Ghosts
(So, you want names, huh? Okay, so the Swellow's name is Mobius, or that's his nickname or whatever. And the Metagross' name is Stanley. The owner of the Casino, the head Honchkrow calls herself 'Jade', though I believe that that's not a real name.)

"So, you're telling me that you might be able to find those Sableyes by travelling through another dimension?" Jade asked, she was smoking a pipe.

Jasper facepalmed. "I said that."

"Okay, Mobius. Go with this kid, because those ghosts aren't weak to anything except for Fairy and we don't have that." Mobius nodded silently.

"I'm gonna need to stand outside." Jasper walked out with Mobius and Stanley right behind him.

It was raining outside, and there were several Murkrow perched on the lampposts, their hats being waterproof. They watched as the Meowstic and Swellow stood out in the rain.

"This will ruin my fantastic beret." But Jasper started his teleportation anyway. He threw out a twisted spoon into the air and unfolded his ears. It started to float and spin around.

Mobius stared at the spoon, bored. "Any minute now…"

The spoon stopped resonating and untwisted itself, releasing an intense psychic energy that enveloped Mobius and Jasper.

A pink brightness filled everyone's eyes. When it cleared, they were in a pink dimension. "So this is your Pocket Dimension, huh?" Mobius said, looking around.

"Yep." They were both standing on a platform, with a giant pile of Jasper's possessions in the middle of the platform.

"How do we leave when we want to?"

Jasper shrugged. "You use psychic powers to leave. If we leave right now, we'll be sent to my treehouse in the Forest of Makan."

"Who's Makan?" Mobius asked.

Jasper rummaged through the pile of junk that was in his pocket dimension. "Makan the Anorith. The most powerful Anorith in existence, he's like… Level 100. He's not as powerful as a legendary, but still- hey what?" Mobius turned and flew over to look at what Jasper found.

There was an Anorith casually eating Jasper's supply of cotton candy. "What're you doing? That's mine!"

The Anorith spoke in a deep voice. "Apologies. I just found it."

Mobius looked a little confused. "What, did you cram that bug into your pocket dimension?"

Jasper proceeded to pull out his stove out of the pile and started to fry an egg on it. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………… nope. Maybe he's Makan the Anorith."

"Bugs don't have Psychic powers."

"I am he." the Anorith said. "The one you call… Makan the Anorith."

"We're being messed with here." Mobius said, not believing it. "And why are you cooking an egg?"

Jasper looked at Mobius and Makan the whole time he was cooking the egg, and didn't realize that the drying pan was on fire. "I'm hungry, I haven't eaten my favorite food in forever."

Mobius pointed at the pan with one of his wings. "The frying pan is on fire."

Jasper looked at the drying pan for a brief moment then stepped back, surprised while still holding it. Then carelessly tossed it over the edge.

"If you don't believe me then try to peck me. I resist all… but not Freeze." Makan said.

Mobius prepared to use Peck on Makan, but hesitated before he hit him. "Wait wait you're a Bug/Rock type. Peck won't work."

The Swellow's wing solidified into steel, and then he smacked Makan in the side. After rolling around from the hit, Makan shook his head and just said: "Eh."

"Okay I believe you. Wait wait we are getting off-topic here where are those ghosts?"

Jasper scrounged through his stash to look for another frying pan. "What? I can't hear you."

Makan cleared his throat despite being a shrimp. "You are able to teleport to other Pokemon through the Pocket Dimension by finding their Pocket Stash.

Mobius adjusted his fedora. "That sounds like it's easy to steal from."

"That's no problem." Jasper said, not finding a frying pan. "There's forty-eight factors that limit theft and kidnapping. Or was it forty-one?"

"Okay whatever; where is Whisper's Pocket Stash?" Mobius asked.

Jasper thought for up to a minute. "You can try flying around… if I-"

One Psychic Explanation Later.

"So… I just fly around until I find something?" Mobius asked.

"Probably."

"Okay then…" Mobius walked near the edge and looked at the abyss. "This is safe, right?"

"Yes." Makan said. A smoking frying pan fell from the sky, almost hitting Makan. Mobius recoiled from random kitchen utility falling from the sky.

Mobius motioned Jasper over. "Okay, hop on my back." Jasper and Makan hopped on Mobius' back. "Uhh… what're you think you're doing?"

"The business of Makan the Anorith." he responded deeply.

Fly!

Mobius flew with both a random cat and shrimp on his back, with Jasper occasionally saying "Go left!" or "Go right!"

Eventually…………………………
They found Whisper's pocket stash, with about only 4-9 possessions and a barrier surrounding it. "I'm so tired of flying… Gimme a sec, kid." Mobius took a few deep breaths.

Jasper looked through the barrier. There was a cabinet with a glass door, which had 4-9 letters in it. "Why do you have to be so bland." he mumbled. Oh, and there was a stack of chips, which apparently had a total value of 1028 PokeCoins.

Makan looked at the cabinets. "Your sister is more organized than you."
Jasper rolled his eyes.

Mobius finished resting. "Okay, let's go."

Spoon spell. Pink Nova. Blinding Light.

They were in some sort of glass room. Some sort of spore or ash was floating in the air. "What is…? Sis!" Whisper was in the room too, with her ears binded and she was sleeping for some reason.

Mobius took a few seconds to register it. "It's sleep… pow… der." Jasper faceplanted into the ground before Mobius finished, and then Mobius slumped to the ground, snoring.

"Eh." Makan said. He used Metal Claw on the glass walls, shattering them. Then used X-Scissor on the nearby Sableye, beating it. And then used Hyper Beam on the nearby mechanism that was transmitting Sleep Powder into the room. "Eh."

………
……
…?

"Wake up…"

"Jasper wake up…"

"Jasper, you are so lazy, wake up!"

Whisper? Are you there?

He opened his eyes very slowly. Then just rolled over and kept sleeping.

"Makan wake him up. Use Hydro Pump or something."

"Eh." Makan was about to use Hydro Pump on Jasper, but Jasper teleported out of the way while he was sleeping.

"Five more minutes." Jasper barely said.

"Of course he won't wake up. He sleeps at night."

"Don't you sleep in the day?"

"Yes, we have different sleep schedules. I'm nocturnal and he isn't."

"Eh."

"Makan, why do you keep saying that?"

"Eh, I just like to."

"You mean Makan the Anorith from the Forest of Makan?

"Yes Makan the Anorith from the Forest of Makan." Jasper interrupted. He stood up and dusted himself off. "Makan, why did you come with us anyway?"

Makan pulled out a piece of oran berry bubble gum and started to chew it. "I have psychic powers, as you know. I can read into the future. Your future, Jasper Stick, is an interesting one."

"How'd you get my last name?" Jasper asked.

Mobius stifled some laughter. "Wait- your name is Jasper Stick?"

"A better question is how an Anorith knows Hyper Beam, and Sableye knowing Teleport." Whisper said.

Makan started to chew the bubble gum louder. "It's called magic powers. Don't question my logic. Now can we please leave."

"Poker chips first." Mobius said sternly.

"Right, let's! ...where's the door?" Jasper said.

Whisper pointed at the obviously different colored piece of wall in the room. "There."

"...right." Jasper was eating cotton candy, they opened the door into a hallway that was one of the blandest hallways they've ever seen. Grey everything and the lighting fixtures were literally lightbulbs. "Lame."

After a couple seconds of walking they found a sign, it literally said: [<- VAULT]

Makan said the most obvious thing ever. "Turn left."

"Thank you very much, Captain Obvious." Whisper said with some slight annoyance.

They opened the door on the left. There were like… a number of chips on some table. "Okay, Whisper. You take the chips because you have a pocket dimension."

Jasper interrupted. "I have a pocket dimension t-"

"Shut up."

Makan turned toward the door. "There are Sableyes." Makan started to store… Sunlight.

The door opened. The lead Sableye spoke in some extremely weird voice. "Stop them!"
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Mobius gave some sort of confused expression. "How do you know five moves?"

"I know eighteen moves." Makan said nonchalantly, as if everyone knew eighteen moves too. "Those are Shadow Pokemon."

"You mean Ghost-Dark? I guess they're shadows. Except for those weird pieces of glass for their eyes." Jasper was eating another cone of cotton candy.

Makan jumped onto Jasper's cone of cotton candy and started munching on it. "Eh. No. They are Shadow-dash-Pokemon. That MEGA Sableye that you've been thinking about; it's a shadow pokemon that knows Teleport and Dragon Pulse."

Whisper squinted at Makan. "Shadow Pokemon don't exist."

"Eh. They exist. Because I am Level 100, and can use Hyper Beam, Solarbeam, Hydro Pump, Fire Blast, Metal Claw, X-Scissor, Psychic, Shadow Sneak, Dark Pulse, Dragon Claw, Thunder, Stone Edge, Magnitude, Ice Cream, Cross Poison, Brave Bird, High Jump Kick, and Anorith Laser."

"Anorith Laser?"

"Anorith Laser."

Hoenn Recording 1
Gardevoir: Hello, is this thing recording? Good, great.

Aggron: Hey, is someone watching us? Hellllllooo???

Gardevoir: Shut up. I'm trying to record here. *sigh* You ruined my train of thought.

Salamence: Hey guys, you want Pizza or Chinese tonight?

Gardevoir: Just get Pizza. Alright I remember now; oh for f@#$
-static-
Gardevoir: Okay, I've had a rough day with these idiots in the house. We just want to hear from you, *static*.

Aggron: Yeeeaah! Come eat Chinese Pizza with us!

Salamence: Hey, who's texting us?

Gardevoir: It's that idiot again. He wants to know how to fry an egg.

Salamence: Ehh- ehh I can't hold this phone!

Aggron: What's an egg?

Gardevoir: Ask him yourself, okay *static*, what do you want to tell him?

Salamence: You burn it with fire. That's how you cook everything, right?

Gardevoir: That doesn't include noodles.

Makan is sure a very unique Anorith, heh. I do admit him saying "Eh" did get annoying a bit even though it was brought up by the other characters. Feel bad for him being whacked by Steel Wing, pfft.

"The business of Makan the Anorith." he responded deeply.

Fly!

Mobius flew with both a random cat and shrimp on his back, with Jasper occasionally saying "Go left!" or "Go right!"

Eventually…………………………
They found Whisper's pocket stash, with about only 4-9 possessions and a barrier surrounding it. "I'm so tired of flying… Gimme a sec, kid." Mobius took a few deep breaths.

Click to expand...

Not really feeling the comedy in this part. Somewhat confused as to by Fly is bolded, and I think you don't need that much ellpsis after "Eventually" as we know some time have passed.

The Hoenn recording something about it is a bit stale compared to last chapter. Still though, I could go for Chinese Pizza.


Before I go, want to mention a bit the way you punctuated the dialogue. Whenever you have dialogue like this- "It's, funny, I know," he said, there should be comma before the dialogue tag (he said, etc) not period. Only time you can use a period is if the dialogue wouldn't follow up by the dialogue tag. Hope this makes sense.

AN: Thank you for your words, people. You've likely told me things that I already know, and that makes me feel slightly worse. My writing is imperfect, and it's likely gonna stay that way for awhile.
Part 4: Anorith Rising
(They call me… Makan the Anorith. They wanted to call me Makan the Armaldo, but in a strange event an everstone was fused into my carapace. I cannot evolve. But no matter. As a result of my weakness I have strived to become more than an Anorith. I became… Makan the Anorith.)

XX Years Ago...
"Alright guys! Who's the legendariest of Pokemon?" Dialga said.

Darkrai pointed at himself. "Pffft, im the best, obviously."

"I got a stat total of 600…" Shaymin said.

"SILENCE!" Arceus yelled. He stomped into the room. "I have a stat total of 720! All shall bow before me!"

Kyogre and Groudon, who were in the general vicinity at the time, were enjoying their naptime.
"I am ancient. Can I be the legendary?" Anorith said.

"No." Palkia said. "You're a shrimp."

Anorith jumped onto Palkia's head. "But I am Bug/Rock. Isn't that ancient."

Giratina grabbed Anorith with his telekinetic powers and held him up in the air. "NO, ANORITH! I'm a Ghost/Dragon type! That makes me extremely ancient!"

"What about me?" Bulbasaur said. "I'm the first Pokemon."

Arceus facepalmed through all the bickering. "Bulbasaur! You are a useless dinosaur! Get lost!"

"I still want to be the legendary. I got X-Scissor." Anorith said.

Aerodactyl shrugged. "You know what, Anorith? I think Arceus is the legendary. He's got a stat total of 720."

"YES!" Arceus yelled. "Finally someone votes for me!"

Anorith poked Arceus out of envy. "That's not fair. I don't have a stat total of 720."

Arceus kept yelling. "Anorith! I'm so tired of your whining! That's it! I am going to curse you forever, so that you can't evolve ever!"

"Isn't that a little harsh?" Shaymin said.

"Do not care. Arceus promised me that if I vote for him then I get my own dimension." Giratina said.

----------
"Anorith Laser?"

"Uhh; what?" Makan said.

"You have a move called Anorith Laser?" Jasper asked.

Makan had lost his train of thought for a few seconds. "Oh, uhh… yeah."

Jasper shrugged. "That's fine, I guess. After all I have a move called Walk-on-Walls."

"As if." Mobius said. "Anyways can you hurry-"

"Hey guys look i'm walking on walls!" Jasper had walked up the walls and was now standing off the ceiling, jokingly. "Told you so, Mobius!"

Whisper psychically pulled Jasper back down to the ground. "Let's go already. I'm gonna teleport us all out of here." Whisper started to concentrate for a moment, and then stopped. "It's not working. I'm being restricted by a Dark energy."

Makan cleared his throat. Again. "Shadow Pokemon."

"There's literally a move called Shadow Ball." Mobius said. "Can we hurry up now?"

Makan looked at the nearby Sableye. "See that Sableye? He's going to use Shadow Rush."

Mobius walked up to the Sableye in response to Makan's prediction. "Umm… it doesn't look like a shadow pokemon to me."

The Sableye started glowing purple, and then tackled Mobius. He fell back from the hit.

"Woah! You got tackled by a ghost!" Jasper said in awe/sarcasm.

Whisper rolled her eyes. "Whatever, i'll deal with this." She shot the Sableye with a Shadow Ball, which one-shotted it.

"Nineteen more sableye in the building. They're in that one other room." Makan pointed to the door nearby.

Jasper gasped. "What? What kind of building only has three rooms?"

Whisper facepalmed. "About every convenience store and lame restaurant. Regular room, storage slash kitchen room, and bathroom."

"JUST HURRY UP! CAN WE GO ALREADY!?" Mobius yelled.

"Eh…… yes."


They kicked the nearby door open, only to realize it was an automatic sliding door.

The nineteen sableye in the room automatically looked at the team, including one mega sableye. Jasper was still hopping around in pain, nursing his foot.

"Stop them! Don't let them escape with the inconclusive evidence that we are the shadow pokemon!" The mega sableye said.
The minions looked at their boss in confusion, with the best expressions ever, and then just looked back to the team and started to use annoying Ghost-Type moves.

Four sableye surrounded Mobius with shadow sneak, and then dived… through him.
"Pwahahahahaha, Haahahahahahaha!" Mobius started to fly up four feet into the air, and then recklessly started spamming brave bird on all the ghosts.

Makan was using Solarbeams on the sableye. "Eh."

Jasper walked on the ceiling, spamming either double team or toxic. "Commme get meee!"

Whisper had aggressively teleported near the mega sableye, and started punching it as much as she could.

In about a minute half of the sableye had fainted, with Whisper still punching the mega sableye, avoiding shadow balls and dark pulses.

The mega sableye jumped back, and then shot a confuse ray at Whisper, who dodged it.
Which then flew through the room and hit Jasper.

He fell off the ceiling and faceplanted onto the floor.

"Hey kid, are you okay?" Mobius said, ignoring the ghost attempting to rake him.

Jasper lifted his head up. "Nope, i'm dead. Bleah." He then started to eat some cotton candy.

"Oh wait, I have Moonblast too." Makan said. He started to fire white lights at all the ghosts, which all got one-shotted due to their horrid stats.

Soon enough, everyone was coming at the mega sableye, which was running around the room.

Jasper and Makan stayed in the middle of the room, casually eating cotton candy. "You can do it, guys. I'll just stay over here and encourage you." Jasper said.

"Jasper, just use Thunderbolt already!" Whisper yelled.

"Too tired." was his response.

Makan accidentally got his face covered in the cotton candy. "I'm stuck. Darn."

The mega sableye shot a confuse ray at Jasper, who was trying to dislodge the cotton candy from Makan's face. It hit him.

"Ach!"

Makan got the cotton candy off his face by X-Scissoring it. "Hey Jasper, you're gonna-"

Against his will, Jasper unfolded his ears and started floating in the air from the confusion. "Argh!!!" He was out of control.

"What's he doing?" Mobius said, ignoring the fact that the mega sableye ran away in the confusion.

Whisper's eyes widened. "He's exerting an extremely dangerous amount of psychic energy! Enough to level this whole place, but without his control!"

"Oh f-"

Jasper accidentally started to create an intense, destructive nova enveloping the room.

"Jasper, no!" Whisper started running towards Jasper through all the debris around the room.

Makan was blown away by the psychic blast into a corner of the room, and was still eating cotton candy. "Hey, stop. If you try that you'll break-"

She slapped him.

He stopped destroying everything, and dropped to the floor.

…

...blackness.

A voice came. "Your arm. Welp, too late for that."

The voice sighed. "Alright, go home. All of you."

Another, slightly harsh voice responded. "How? We have no idea where the heck we are!"

The first voice answered. "You're in Sinnoh. I'm gonna teleport you back to your residences, see you later."

A flash of blue light.

*gasp* Jasper woke up. He was curled up in his cot. He was in his treehouse. "What…?"

He heard someone using his stove. He looked at whoever it was. It was his sister. "What happened?"

Whisper turned around to look to Jasper. "You broke my arm." She was wearing a cast.

"Whoops." He responded sarcastically. Then he sniffed a bit at the stove. Those are those worthless pancakes she's cooking.
"Your response to that is to cook those horrid pancakes, huh?"

Whisper flipped the pancake easily, with Jasper's eye twitched. "Nope. I just like pancakes."

Jasper pulled the blanket over himself and turned to the wall. "What time is it."

Whisper checked Jasper's phone, which she pickpocketed from him. "1 PM."

"I'm late for that kid's birthday party. Now what are they gonna do without the magician?"

"Eat cake and hit a pinata."

"No, that's not it! They're not gonna have any fun without me around doing magic tricks!"

Whisper thought for a minute. "Meh, i'm sure it'll be fine."

Meanwhile…

The Torchic was chatting to some other Pokemon. "I want to be a Blaziken when I grow up!"

"I want to be a Feraligatr when I grow up!" the Totodile said.

"I'm gonna be a Gallade when I grow up." a Ralts said.

Nearby, a Rhyhorn whispered into a Gallade's ear. "That's your daughter, right?"

The Gallade sweated a little. "Yes."

A Chansey had walked up to the Ralts and told them that they couldn't evolve into a Gallade. "That's fine, then I can evolve into a Shedinja!"

The Rhyhorn frowned. He kept silent.

The Gallade's eyes widened, he sweated some more and started shaking. "I uhh…"

Woah, before I get to commenting on the latest part, I want to say in no way, shape, or form did I say your fic sucks and you need to stop. I admit to being blunt on some parts that weren't amusing to me, but it's because well comedy is hard. I tried it before, and after a few chapters it was evident a lot of my jokes were forced and such. That doesn't mean you should stop, though. Takes practice to get comedic timing right and all that jazz. Your story still has some amusing parts here and there, hence why I'm still here.

Anyways, onto the story. I like the flashback of Makan with the other legendaries, funny comparison between the fossil Pokemon and the more powerful legendaries. Guess that curse still has its benefits, huh?

Four sableye surrounded Mobius with shadow sneak, and then dived… through him.
"Pwahahahahaha, Haahahahahahaha!" Mobius started to fly up four feet into the air, and then recklessly started spamming brave bird on all the ghosts.

Click to expand...

Good ol' Flying/Normal.

"Oh wait, I have Moonblast too." Makan said. He started to fire white lights at all the ghosts, which all got one-shotted due to their horrid stats.

Click to expand...

And due to Fairy moves effective against Pokemon with Ghost/Dark yup.

I'll admit, the transition from the battle with all the Sableye to Jasper and Whisper's residence is awkward. Mostly it's weird to me the two not wonder what happened to Makan and Mobius. Perhaps next part they'll remember? I'll admit the next part with Gallade and his daughter is amusing, although I too wonder how she got the idea of she'll evolve into Shedinja. ._. They're like totally different Pokemon species lol.

Bay Alexison said:

Woah, before I get to commenting on the latest part, I want to say in no way, shape, or form did I say your fic sucks and you need to stop. I admit to being blunt on some parts that weren't amusing to me, but it's because well comedy is hard. I tried it before, and after a few chapters it was evident a lot of my jokes were forced and such. That doesn't mean you should stop, though. Takes practice to get comedic timing right and all that jazz. Your story still has some amusing parts here and there, hence why I'm still here.

Click to expand...

I know. I'm just don't like revision. Unless something needs it.
I'm just lazy.

Part 5: Name of the Game
"Er… hello?" Jasper said, he was calling someone on his phone.

"Yeah?" a voice said.

He cleared his throat. "My sister told you that i'm taking a sick day, i'm gonna tell you that that's not a prank call by the way.

"The birthday party started like an hour ago and you're going to say that you weren't lying about being late."

"...yes. I just have to for some odd reason." Jasper hung up. He sighed. The grocer was threatened last week so he couldn't buy any eggs, so there was nothing to do.

He looked around the house. Whisper was sleeping, because she was nocturnal.
She switches Breakfast and Dinner around, saying that Breakfast is at PM and Dinner is at AM.

Gasp. He felt something on his shoulder. Jasper slowly turned to look at what it was, and…

"Eh."

"Wah!" Jasper spazzed and shook the Anorith off his shoulder, which rolled around on the ground aimlessly.

Whisper stirred. "Jasper shut up, i'm trying to sleep."

"I uhh… okay."

"I said shut up."

Jasper shrugged and motioned Makan to walk outside, then opened the door and walked outside himself. Unbeknownst to him that he closed the door before Makan got a chance to walk outside the treehouse.

Makan teleported to the porch of the treehouse. "Good day, Jasper."

"Uh, Makan, what happened? I just blacked out." Jasper asked.

Makan somehow had more cotton candy and was eating it. "Well, after you got confused, you started releasing your ultimate powers, yunno. The one you can't control. So Whisper had to Wake-Up Slap you to stop you from nuking a tenth of Sinnoh."

"Sinnoh?"

Makan threw the paper cone left from the cotton candy off the treehouse. "Yes. A mysterious figure is making a Nasty Plot. He's kidnapping and turning innocents into aggressive, reckless whatchamacallits."

Jasper adjusted his beret, which he was surprisingly still wearing. "Hey Makan, how did you get my address?"

Makan frowned. Somehow. "After my tree was burnt by an accidental fire I looked to see who accidentally burnt it and it was you, and then I heard that you accidentally burnt your own tree."

Flashback
Jasper was cooking an egg outside. Broken egg shells and whites were scattered all over the ground. "Alright, this is the 78th egg flip today, let's… DO THI-"

-s again? Fire.

A psyduck was spraying the burning tree down with a crappy water gun.

"Whaddya think it means, Erin?" The mexican stereotype(Ludicolo) said to the Roserade.

She stared at the random eggs scattered all over the ground. "I think it might've been a vandal. He probably was throwing eggs at someone's treehouse, and then threw a molotov."

The Ludicolo turned back to the tree. "Looks like we have a firebug in the neighborhood."

Erin facepalmed. "Your boss is a Volcarona, Reed. Don't say that in front of him."

Present
"That never happened." Jasper said in a singsong voice.

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"HEY!" A whimsicott climbed up onto the porch of the treehouse, with a paper cone stuck in her hair. "Who threw this at me!?"

A few seconds of silence passed. Then Jasper pointed at Makan. "He did."

The whimsicott threw the paper cone at Makan, which did nothing, and then took off.

Makan threw the paper cone off the treehouse again, and then turned to Jasper. "The point is, there's an evil person who's making an army of shadow pokemon."

Jasper came to a quick conclusion, despite not having any supportive evidence. "I know! It's an evil Lugia! Big, evil, and differently colored!"

Makan shook his head. "Nope, that would be too awesome."

They didn't have anything to say for a few minutes…

Until a Murkrow flew in and perched on Makan. "Hey cat, the boss needs you at the casino."

"I have a nam-"

"Don't care." The murkrow flew away.

Makan shrugged. "Okay. Let's go." He fell off the porch, since he was too small to use the ladder. "Ow."


Jasper looked over the edge at Makan. "Okay Makan, i'll be right there," And then looked around the porch. "After I accuse one more person…"

He grabbed a scatterbug scuttling on his railing and then started blabbing at him. "Are you a shadow pokemon!?"

The scatterbug was a little confused. "I dun noe wut a sadoe poffymon iz!"

Jasper put the toddler back on the railing.

Honchkasino
He knocked on the locked door. A voice came out. "We're closed, come back in 8 to 10 hours!"

He knocked on the locked door. A voice came out. "Hey, idiot! We're CLOSED!"

He knocked on the locked door. A voice came out. "Oh my god if you keep knocking on this door I swear i'm gonna kick your a#$!"

He knocked on the locked door. A Kriketot opened the door. "Goddamnit you idiot! Why didn't you say anything!?"

Jasper looked at Carl as if he did something wrong. "Isn't the door bulletproof and soundproof?"

"Yes the door is bulletproof but it's not soundproof since you could clearly hear my voice!" Carl sighed. "Stop loitering and go." He stepped aside for Jasper to enter.

Jasper shrugged and walked past. As he walked past the arcade machines and poker tables, he heard voices in the office. "Why does your security consist of several useless dark-flying types?"

He could hear Jade responding angrily. "They get the job done! There's nothing wrong with them!"

"Your entire security team is weak to electric type moves."

"Eh. I have Magnitude 19."

"Wait one moment, I sense that someone is on the other side of the door," A Suicune opened the door, looking at the random Meowstic in front of him. "What do you want, kid?"

Jasper readjusted his beret. "I got called here?"

Jade, Makan, and Stanley were in the office, along with the random Suicune.

Jade seemed to have an angry expression, but it changed when she saw Jasper. "Oh hey, kid… Come in, come in."

"Okay, kid. This is the chief of the police f-"

The Suicune interrupted. "Kid, I am the chief of the police force, Chief Lionel. We've-"

"Hey." Makan said.

Lionel looked at Makan. "What?"

Makan cleared his throat. "Can I do the intro for you?"

"What, you have no idea who I am."

Makan chuckled a bit. "Watch and learn. Hey Jasper, this is the big cheese of the police his name is Lionel or something but i'm pretty sure he looks nothing like a Lion."

Jade burst into laughter.

Lionel sighed angrily. "Alright, if there's no more interruptions then I would like to-"

"Mister Lionel."

"What!?" he said to Jasper.

Jasper was slightly intimidated, but asked his question anyway. "Why are you wearing ribbons?"

…

"They're… just a part of me, okay?" Lionel said with a little frustration. "Now, kid,"
"My name is Jasper."
"I need you to tell me everything you know about the shadow pokemon."

Jasper took a deep breath. "Alright……… I need to go to the bathroom."

-static-

Jasper took a deep breath. "Alright… I don't know why but some Sableye teleported into the casino and then took a bunch of chips and then one of them grabbed my sister and teleported away so I used a dimbrenzional wrap to teleport me and some other fellas to my sister and then we attacked the sableye and they knew teleport and one of the sableye said that they were a shadow pokemon and-" Jasper took a few deep breaths, then continued. "-then we started fighting them but Mobius the bird was immune to ghosts so he beat a bunch of them up. And then Makan and I ate some cotton candy while sis punched the head honcho and then it used confuse ray on me and then I accidentally exploded a bunch of things and whoops I accidentally broke my sister's arm and apparently we were in Sinnoh but then I got teleported back to my house where I was sleeping and my sister was making pancakes and then Makan told me to walk outside and also one of Jade's cronies told me to come to the casino and then Makan went and jumped off the treehouse and then I accused a kid that was possibly 2 days old and I put him back and then I walked to the casino and I talked to the Mexican while I was on the way there and then I walked and a teleported a few spaces and then I reached the casino-" Jasper stopped; that was a pretty long explanation. But surprisingly, nobody interrupted the part where he talked about walking to the casino. "So I knocked on the door a couple of times until Carl or was it Karl with a K? Anyways I walked to the office where I heard you talking about something and then I walked in and you blabbed about a bunch of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah get good you doofus learn to talk like a normal Pokemon blah! And then you walked me about the shadow pokemon and then I started a long explanation."

…

Jade was sleeping in her chair, and Stanley seemed to be… sleeping too? His eyes were closed but he was still standing up. Oh, and Makan was…! Oh he's also sleeping.

Lionel was still wide awake. "So… that means the only useless- I mean useful thing to tell me is that they teleported you to Sinnoh?"

Jasper thought for a few seconds, but honestly he was just taking deep breaths. *sigh* *pant* *sigh* *pant* "...Yes."

"I'll get some men on this, then." Lionel said. Then he walked out of the room.

…

"Huh. Hey Makan? Can you uhh… wake up?" No response. Jasper just picked up the Anorith and put him on top of his beret.

"Hmm… I guess Stanley needs his beauty sleep. Hey Jade, are you awake?"

Nope. Jasper tried taking Jade's hat, without noticing that she was whispering: "Are they gone yet?"

Her eyes snapped opened. "DON'T TOUCH MY HAT!" Jasper was knocked back by Jade's yelling. "You don't touch the Head Honchkrow's hat! Now get lost!"

Makan woke up. He yawned. No Makan, not that yawn, the other Yawn.

Jade became drowsy… It was super effective.

Jade fell asleep.

Hoenn Recording 2
Linoone: Alright guys, I just finished mowing the lawn with my handy Cut HM. But when I looked out the window it all grew back.
Oh. *ahem* So, *static*, how have you been? It's been like… two weeks since you, *static electricity error* all moved to Kalos. Can you uhh… respond to us? Thanks.

Flygon: Ooh, who're you talking to?

Linoone: *static*, on the webcam. Remember him?

Flygon: Nah.

Linoone: Anyways, we're still the Hoenn League Champions.

Flygon: I'm literally just Level 55. After I beat that Wailord I got swapped out for bacon.

Linoone: Err, it's Bagon.

Aggron: Did someone say bacon!?

Linoone: N-no, please don't come over here i'm trying to record this.

Flygon: Charles, get out of here; you're gonna ruin our conversation with the mudkip!

Aggron: What???

Linoone: Charles just-

Aggron: HEY GUYS COME EAT PIZZA- *static*

One little grammar mention, I notice often you have "i'm" without the "I" capitalized so "I'm" is the proper way to spell. Taking some time to proofread you should catch that.

Onto some thoughts on this part. Oh okay so Makan is back heh. I do admit the part with the firebug pun is cute and I chuckled. With the part where Jasper and Makan talk to the police chief, I feel the "I have to go to the bathroom" and then static is unneeded and Jasper talking all fast about what happened is good enough. Otherwise, with Makan's lion joke the debates whether the legendary beasts are felines or caines will neve stop huh? =P I wonder what's going to happen next, then.

And just as I was wrapping up this review, you posted another Hoenn call lol. Yeah, Bagon and bacon does sound familiar heh. Now I want bacon pizza.

Act II
Part 6: Septic Agent
-Lumiose City-
(So, apparently my segment of the story seems to end here, does it not? Oh well, I guess we'll look at someone else's story, preferably this Roserade which investigated the tree which I- I mean, an Exeggcute burned down, because it was such a rebel, right? Let's get to it. So meanwhile…)

Erin. Police officer. Undercover. Sells flowers. The hardest part was selling flowers.
Roserades were known to be poisonous, and despite the fact that she said that she grew them herself and that they aren't actually her hands clipped off to be sold to suspicious shady individuals, people rarely bought them.

Xian. Police officer. Pancham. Literally carries a leaf in his mouth. But he's just sleeping on the job. And nobody cares about his story why am I even explaining this-
*static*

A meowstic(Yes this is still Jasper) walked by the flower stall. "Hey mister, want to buy flowers?"

He looked at the sets of blue and red roses. "Uhh… how much do they cost?"

"One Pokecoin for a rose and two Pokecoins for a rose!"

The Meowstic shrugged. "Meh, my sister is probably and likely allergic to flowers."

Erin rolled her eyes. Sure…

"Meep."

The Meowstic ignored the fact that he heard an extremely foreign sound, and just walked away.
Then he came back. "Why are you wearing a cape?"

No answer, save for a slightly angered expression. The Meowstic walked away for real this time.

"Meep!" Erin searched through the batch of flowers, and picked up a tiny Spritzee. "What am I supposed to do with you…?" The Spritzee's name was… well Erin actually forgot the name of the kid.

She sighed. Then looked up into the air, as if an imaginary spotlight was shining onto her, in the middle of a grand performance.
"Oh if only I had a better job than running this flower stall, if only I didn't have to take care of this baby bird, oh why, oh why?"

"I've fallen, and can't get up!"
Erin's attention was caught by a nearby Spinda, who tripped over a brick.
"Help me help me!"

Erin shrugged. "I'm too short. I can't help you."

"Help me help me!" After a while, he managed to stand up and start walking around like a klutz again, almost accidentally walking into Erin.

*static*

A Dunsparce slowly inched his way over to the flower stall, with Erin grudgingly waiting for him to finish moving forward.
Any day now…

He took about an entire minute to move to the flower stall. "Phew, that was really strenuous."

"It really wasn't," Erin said. "Now would you like to buy some flowers?"

"What color are they?"

"Blue. And red."

The dunsparce was probably blind, that or he just seemed to keep his eyes closed all the time. "How much does blue cost?"

Erin thought about scamming him, but of course that would likely be one of the most terrible ideas ever. Even if it was just scamming some weirdo snake thing. "One Pokecoin."

She wasn't sure how, but the dunsparce threw a pokecoin onto the ground. Erin picked up the coin, then put one of the blue roses in front of the Dunsparce.

No, seriously. I'm not lying about this part.
He literally ate it. He just swallowed it without chewing it.
Now, I don't want to know where you got that coin from.

The dunsparce started to inch away. Verrrrry slllllooowwwwwly.

Erin looked at the Spritzee. "I'm bored, do you know about anything that'll make me less bored?"

"Meep."

"...yeah. That's what I thought."

Erin's cell phone got a message.
[We have some strange reading in that abandoned house across the street. You need to check it out.]

The abandoned house across the street? There is none. He must've meant the one four feet away from me.
Erin walked into the abandoned house. "Okay kid, make sure nobody steals any of the flowers while i'm out." she said to the Spritzee.

There was a strange sound coming from within the house. She walked past several collapsed beams and planks, and found something most strange.

A floating butterfree. It was emitting a hostile, purple aura.

"H… hello? Are you okay?" Erin said a little nervously.

The butterfree looked at Erin angrily. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

"What?" The butterfree rushed at Erin, who narrowly dodged the attack. "Woah! That wasn't a tackle!"

The butterfree grabbed Erin with a psychic, and then threw her around the room. "There can be no witnesses."

The roserade stood up, injured. "N… no witnesses? You're a shadow pokemon… aren't you?"

"That's right… Ugh!" Erin interrupted the Butterfree with a Giga Drain. But it didn't seem to do anything. "You think you can stop me."

Erin started to run away, but she was lost. The abandoned house itself seemed to be intent on blocking her exit.
Oh no, oh no, oh no. Am I gonna die here? Someone help me!

The hallways were all blocked by debris, the walls all looked the same, and there were hazardous holes in the wooden floor.

She turned around, the Butterfree was back. "No! Stay away you freak!" Erin tried a quick poison jab, but it was easily dodged.

The butterfree countered with a Shadow Rush, ramming Erin in the back and knocking her down.

Ugh… can't move… Somebody… please help.
"Pl… please don't…"

It was no use. "I'm going to kill you." The butterfree used psychic on Erin again, and ruthlessly slammed her into a nearby support beam. Stopped moving.

Couple grammar stuff first.

"One Pokecoin for a rose and Two Pokecoins for a rose!"

Click to expand...

"Two" shouldn't be capitalized there.

Erin thought about scamming him, of of course that would likely be one of the most terrible ideas ever.

Click to expand...

Repeated use of "of" there.

The comedic side is somewhat underwhelming compared to your last chapter, but the dunsparce eating the rose was kinda amusing and yeah I think Erin is better off not knowing where he got the coin from, Nice use of bringing back Shadow Pokemon there, didn't think that's the last we've heard of them. I bet the police won't be happy about this.

I forgot to move this Author's Note when I made Part 6, so I'll just put it here.
Because it's unlikely that you're gonna notice this if I inserted this into Part 6 correctly.

AN: Roserade has a small alteration in this story. Whenever they want, they can twirl around in a circle, their cape concealing them, and when they finish their blossom dance the roses which their hands are made of are switched with small, frail hands.

AN: Yes, I know that all legendaries are genderless for some random reason, but this is my story!Legendary pokemon have emotions like regular pokemon and are forced to have genders like regular pokemon!
Part 7: Umbral Agent
Police detective Xian, the Pancham. He still hasn't evolved despite the fact that he's been mingling with shady types occasionally, but honestly he just thinks that having a branch in his mouth will be annoying.

The sun was slowly and steadily dropping below the horizon. Soon...

"So Reed, have you seen any Shadow Pokemon lately?" Xian asked.

The Ludicolo wasn't paying attention. He was texting three other Ludicolos and a Dragonite about a Siesta. "Wh- wha?"

Xian and Reed were just sitting at some table in a cafe. For some indiscernible reason. "I said, have you seen any Shadow Pokemon lately?" He said, leaning in closer with a bit of hostility.

"Don't you need some special glasses for those?"

Xian thought about the briefing for a moment. ("Make sure that you use this special Shadow Detector to check if anything is suspicious." Lionel said, holding up a pair of shades.) "Nope."

"Oh, so they're just radiating an all evil aura all the time, then?" Reed asked, sending the same paragraph of text to the third ludicolo.

"Yes! You can tell because they act extremely and blatantly evil! They do evil things like evil laughs!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!" Reed and Xian turned their heads to the nearby Volcarona holding a phone somehow. "I leveled up."

"Boss, what're you playing?" Reed asked.

The Volcarona put the phone away. "None of your business. Get back to work." Reed walked away with a Yessir. "And you, Xian!"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you supposed to be searching for those shadow pokemon?"

"Yeah…"

"Then you get lost too."

"Jeez, what a killjoy." Xian mumbled, standing up and also walking to the streets.
I wonder what Erin is up to.

He tried calling Erin… but no response.

"Xian."

Volcarona was right next to him. "Wah! Whaddya want?"

"You've only moved like… 9 steps. I think you should stop lollygagging."

Nasty plot. "You just don't want me to see that beauty contest app that you've been using, huh?"

"Very funny." Volcarona said. He leaned in closer to Xian's face to intimidate him, then hit his leaf on fire.

Xian tried pinching the fire, but it didn't go out. "Ow!"
Ugh, why do you have to be such a nut?
"Alright, fine, i'm going!" Xian walked a distance until the fire stopped.

Xian walked some more distance. Yunno, because walking was good exercise. Better than running.

Someone ran into him, knocking them both down.
"Oh! Sorry, mister! This might sound crass but can you give me 3 pokecoins please!?" it was a Smeargle, holding a bunch of painting equipment. Well… just a color palette.

Xian stood up, rubbing his head. "Owww… that kinda hurt… What was that again?"

The smeargle looked more desperate as the time passed. "I just really really need 3 pokecoins, please please please!"

"Okay…" Xian patiently gave the smeargle 3 pokecoins. "Why do you need 3 poke- oh okay you're gone." He ran after the smeargle who was dashing in another direction.

…

"Ladies and gentlemen… please give a roaring cheer, for Vic 'Vicky' Victoria!" a crowd of people screamed and cheered for some short figure in a stage, situated in a special theater. He could hear the voices while standing outside.

That would probably annoy anyone that lived lived nearby.

The smeargle bought a ticket from the Bidoof and ran into the theater excitedly.
Xian bought a ticket for 20 pokecoins(because the Smeargle is special for some reason) and casually walked into the theater.
Honestly, I would've liked to watch Robin Hoopa instead.

The stage was dark, with the only person that was illuminated by spotlights was the star of the show, a Victini.(I have no idea what the theater with the stage with the theater is called. Was it Ambitheater? Ampitheater? Ambipomber?)

Vic 'Vicky' Victoria was doing intense magic tricks magic tricks of the likes that nobody has seen before.

The smeargle was painting Vicky's moveset somehow, changing pages within a few seconds.

Xian made a suspicious hand motion. "You must be Shady the smeargle, who travels around the world, sketching the moves of everything you can."

Shady didn't falter in his artistry. "Oh wow, how'd you get my name?"

"I pickpocketed you." Xian said nonchalantly, holding up a wallet.

"What!?" Shady turned around and swiped his wallet back. "That's it, I'm calling the cops!"

Xian shrugged. "And ruin this fantastic show?" Vicky was now throwing around fiery dragons. "You can't possibly do that. Plus, i'm an undercover cop."

Shady had at least 14 more papers to go. He pocketed his wallet and resumed his sketching. "Some cop you are."

Vicky did a lot of things. Create dragons out of fire, stand on those dragons, fly around with those dragons, mimic blast burns, walk on fire, mimic selfdestruct, and then use Calm Mind.

Xian thought of the possibility of the audience accidentally getting burned, but the audience was probably being protected by a psychic water barrier.

This lasted for an entire 30 minutes. Vicky leapt down to the stage off one of the dragons. "Thank you for coming all my adoring fans! I'll see you all next time!" With a few last fireworks and a puff of smoke, she left. Backstage.

Xian's phone got a message.
[We have some strange readings in the building you're in. You need to check it out.]

Sighing, the pancham walked up to the nearby Ursaring with the security cap. "Hey buddy, which way leads to backstage?"

"What's it to you?" he responded in an intimidating tone.

Xian held up his badge. "This is all I gotta say to you."

The Ursaring motioned in another direction. Xian gleefully went that way.

After showing his badge to another security guard, Xian fumbled around the hallways of the theater, finally finding the room Vicky was in. He just knew somehow.

*knock, knock*

"Who is ittttt?" Vicky sounded a little annoying for some reason.

"This is the doc- *ah frik* -police. We think there's a shadow pokemon here." Xian wore his shades.

He heard Vicky using a Contest App on her phone. "What's a shadow pokemon?"

Xian sighed with some frustration. "Just open the door."

"I need to get dressed firrrssst!"

"No you don't."

"Well aren't you such a dear?" the door opened. Xian thought that Vicky wore ugly makeup for some reason, but he was wrong. "Okay, what's a shadow pokemon?"

Xian gave the best description that he possibly could. "They're evil pokemon that like harassing and harming people."

"Like that poochie that's been stalking me in all my shows?" she gasped with a slight hint of sarcasm. "And you're here to take care of him for me? Ooh, you're such a sweetie!"

Please shut up… your voice is so annoying!
"Can. You. Please. Take this seriously?" He noticed that Vicky wasn't even looking at him. "Hey, can you pay attention for at least ten seconds?" And furthermore, he noticed that Vicky was suspiciously looking at the ceiling.

He looked at the ceiling too. It was a Yanma, radiating a purple aura of evilness.

"Hey, why does he look like he got lit on fire by a Chandelure?" Vicky asked.

Xian slowly took off his shades. "That's a shadow Pokemon…"

"HEY!" Vicky yelled. "This is MY dressing room! Get lost!"

"Naw." the Yanma said.

Vicky charged up an ember. "You asked for it, then!" The Yanma quickly used a poison sting on Vicky's face. She stopped using the ember and started registering what just happened. "Oh second thought, be right back!" She opened the door and ran out of the room.

Wow… no wonder you're famous.
Xian tried jump punching the Yanma, but it just clung to the ceiling. "Get down here you oversized pest!"

"Eheh. Loser."

"Grrr! HIGH JUMP KICK!" Xian did a slow motion high jump into the air, then struck down the shadow Yanma with a kick.

"Damnit! I'll kill you now!" The Yanma hit Xian with a wing attack, which was kind of lame, and then followed up with a U-Turn.

Xian dodged. "Ha! You missed!" The Yanma started breaking through the walls with shadow rush and leaving.

"Catch me if you can, shorty!" his voice echoed.

"Say your prayers!" Xian ran through the holes in the wall after the Yanma.

…

"Never fear, Vicky is here!" Vicky swiftly opened the door, now with a bandage on her face. Her face wilted when she saw that the pancham and yanma were gone, with two holes in the wall. "Aww man… I wanted to be the hero…"

The security Ursaring's face leaned in from one of the holes in the wall. "Hey, Mrs. Victoria? The guy that attacked the theater left."

Vicky gave the security guard an angry look, from the ridiculousness of what he just said. "Gee, thanks a lot, Captain Obvious!"

…

"Hey, Cap! I got a suspect here and i'd like some backup pronto! He should be heading towards Erin's post!"

"Negative." Lionel said, as if that was completely fine. "All our other units are busy."

If it didn't waste his energy Xian would've facepalmed. "You useless idiot!" He put his radio away.

He ran a pretty annoying distance, past several citizens… a random spritzee, and into some spooky abandoned house.
Almost knocking over that random spritzee, by the way.

Spooky. As if. Xian could destroy the dark easily, and ghosts? He IS the dark.
"Come on out you doofus, I haven't got all day."

"I'm right here, idiot!" the Yanma came out from behind a support beam and throw a molotov at Xian.

Xian ran away, because if he wanted to beat this sob story, he'd need to live first. He dialed up Reed's number. "Reed! REED! I need the fire station at spooky abandoned mansion now at the southeast quadrant of town!"

"What? What's happening?"

"One of those damn shadow pokemon is trying to burn me along with the house! It's a firebug, and it's not your boss!"

"Oh, okay! I'll be right there!"

The Yanma came from behind. "Where do you think you're going?"

-Battle Transition Fade Through?-
Shadow Yanma would like to battle!

Yanma used Villainous Taunt! "You think you can beat me? You're gonna burn here, pal!"
It wasn't very effective.

"Quit sucking!" Pancham used Punch!
It wasn't very effective.

Yanma used Annoying Wing Attack!
It was super effective!

Pancham used High Jump Kick!
It missed…

Yanma used Poison Sting!
Pancham was poisoned.

"That's it, that's it! Now you've gone and done it!"
Pancham used Molotov Cocktail!
"Wait what-"
It was super effective!
Yanma fainted!
Shadow Yanma was defeated!
Got 14 Pokecoins for winning!

"Ungh……"

"Wha?" Xian heard someone's voice. He ran around until he found what he was looking for. Something that wasn't orange, brown, or black, but green. Buried under some rubble.

"Erin? Is that you?" He moved all of the planks and debris off, and indeed it was Erin. Bruised all over her body and badly injured. "Oh no."

He panicked for a moment, but calmed down quickly. "Reed, you there?"

"Loud and clear."

"I…" Xian hesitated for some odd reason. "Bring an ambulance over. Erin's hurt." He ended the call, and then picked up Erin's limp body.
Aw s@#%. This isn't gonna be fun.

The fire was spreading at a hazardous rate. It'd probably engulf the building within two minutes. Damnit, shouldn't have thrown that bottle. Xian tried any way out, but either the building was too big to move through or debris was blocking the way.

Move as close to the entrance as you can, Schenze. With luck, the fire team will have arrived. Xian ran towards to where he thought the entrance was, which was being burned to ashes. "Reed! If you are out there, call out to me!"

...no response.

"Reed!"

"That, you, Xian!?"

"Yeah! I'm in here!"

"Lionel just called me. He says that if I try to extinguish this fire, the house will collapse!"

"I don't care! If you don't extinguish this fire it'll still collapse!"

"But-"

"DO IT, REED!"

Reed shot a torrent of water at a section of the burning house. It started to crumble from all the pressure, ready to collapse at any moment…

"Alright Erin, you're gonna have to trust me on this." Xian sprinted forward, and slammed through the wall. Blackness covered his vision as he collapsed on the floor, the sounds of fire clouding his thoughts, except for one.
Thank you.