Fan Fiction and Writing Have a story you want to share? Or in the mood to sit back and read one, instead? Then come hang out here!

Draconius GO
View Poll Results: How was it!
5/5: I'll sleep peacefully tonight 0 0%
4/5: A fine fic 1 50.00%
3/5: Alright, but won't make me ship Ash and Misty 0 0%
2/5: Weh 1 50.00%
1/5: So bad it gave me nightmares 0 0%
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old July 30th, 2017 (6:23 PM).
Rick Gastly Rick Gastly is offline
Memes Straight Outta 2007
     
    Join Date: Sep 2016
    Location: Lavender Town
    Age: 16
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 206
    Here's a cute/touching Songfic I made, based on "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche:
    It was night-time in the forest. Ash, Misty, and Brock were making their way through to find a place to rest for the night, after a successful gym battle which resulted in Ash getting another gym badge, continuing his quest to make the league.

    "I think this is a good place to stop for the night, what do you say?" Misty asked, pointing to a clearing in the forest.

    "Yes, I think it looks good!" said Brock.

    "Well then, I think we should stay here to camp out" Ash remarked.

    "Pika pika!" Ash's Pikachu, riding on his shoulder, remarked enthusiastically.

    The place was a lovely spot indeed, with a lake in the middle and a clear view of all the stars above.

    The trio got out their sleeping bags, Pikachu curling up at the center of Ash's chest, and they went to sleep.

    But it wouldn't be a peaceful one.

    ...

    Ash and his friends were battling Team Rocket, as usual, who were trying to capture Pikachu. They were on a hill, with a cliff in the back. Ash was using his trusty Pikachu, and his Squirtle and Bulbasaur were also out. Rocket had their usual Arbok and Weezing.

    "Squirtle! Use water gun!" Ash declared.

    "Squirtle" Squirtle responded, shooting water from it's mouth, knocking their Arbok back. He wasn't done yet.

    "Bulbasaur, vine whip, now!" Ash yelled. "Bulba-SAUUUR" Bulbasaur then caught Arbok in the vines.

    "You little twerp, you think this'll be so easy, don't you" Jessie angrily stated. "Weezing, use smokescreen attack" the firey redhead declared.

    It let off a smokescreen attack, making it very hard to see for Ash, Brock, and Misty.

    "Pikachu, use thundershock!" Ash declared. The yellow Mouse Pokemon responded with a loud "Pika-CHUUUU!" setting off a powerful thunderbolt with such force that it locked them into the air. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they lamented.

    Ash was proud of his victory, but Brock had his eyes on someone else, Misty. She was still stumbling around due to the smokescreen attack, and was getting dangerously close to the edge of the cliff.

    "MISTY, LOOK OUT!" he yelled.

    Ash turned his head to the source of the sound, and saw Misty, teetering on the edge of the cliff. She looked confused for a moment. "Huh?" she asked, before seeing the rocks below her. "AAAAH!" she screamed, but she lost balance and fell off the edge.

    Time seemed to move in slow motion, Ash and Misty could only watch as she fell down the cliff, hitting the hard rock surface below. "MISTY!" Ash screamed.

    "We have to get down there, NOW!" Brock declared anxiously. Ash nodded, trying to hold back tears. They ran down the hill quickly, and saw Misty at the bottom of the hill, covered with scratches and cuts. She was unconscious.

    "OH MY GOD!" Ash yelled, horrified at the sight. "WE HAVE TO GET HER TO A POKEMON CENTER!"

    Thankfully, there was one very close by, and they managed to carry her quickly. "NURSE JOY! YOU GOTTA HELP US, MY FRIEND IS GRAVELY INJURED!"

    Nurse Joy stepped out of the Pokemon Center building, and gasped at the sight. "What happened to her?" she said in shock.

    "She lost her balance and fell off a cliff. PLEASE, HELP HER! I DON'T CARE THAT YOU ONLY TREAT POKEMON!"

    "Oh my god." she muttered. "I'll do the best I can". They put her on a stretcher and wheeled her in to the operating room.

    The minutes ticked by, Ash and Brock gravely worried about the fate of their companion.

    After around 15 minutes, a ding informed them that she was ready to give them the condition, and they almost ran to the door. Nurse Joy came out with a sullen expression on her face.

    "We did everything we could, but the damage was just too much. She didn't make it."

    "No." Ash said, quietly. Then he said it again, louder. And he continued to get louder and louder, until he was nearly shrieking in anguish. "NO! NO! NO! MISTY! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE! NO!"

    ...

    In the middle of the night, Misty was awoken by sounds coming from Ash's sleeping bag. She smiled as she thought he was talking in his sleep, but the smile faded when she realized what he was saying.

    "NO! Please! Don't leave me! You can't leave me like this! Please, come back, COME BACK!"

    Misty figured he was having a nightmare, and it sounded really bad. She tried lightly shaking him to wake him up.

    "Ash, wake up! It's me, Misty. You're alright." She said, soothingly.

    Ash slowly opened his eyes, which she could see were streaked with tears. "M-misty?" He questioned.

    Misty nodded, and was surprised what Ash did next.

    He wrapped his arms around her in a hug, and started sobbing into her chest. Misty was taken aback by this display of emotion. She returned the hug.

    "Don't cry, Ash, it's okay, i'm right here. You just had a bad dream", she said, trying to calm him down.

    "It was s-so terrible, Misty" Ash said between sobs. "W-we were fighting Team Rocket and Weezing used smokescreen to p-push you off a cliff. We r-rushed you to a Pokemon center, but it was too late and you-you-you" he paused "You died" the final words made him cry even harder.

    "Shh, don't worry Ash. It was just a nightmare, i'm okay, everything's gonna be alright". Misty stated reassuringly. "Let it all out".

    They stayed like this for a minute, Ash having his face buried in her chest and Misty comforting him. Then, she had an idea. She remembered a song she heard before leaving with Ash, one about nightmares, which she found lovely, and she started to sing, gently running her fingers through Ash's tangled black locks as she did so.

    Hush now, don't you cry, wipe away the teardrops from your eyes.

    You're lying safe in bed, it was all a dream spinning, in your head

    Your mind tricked you to feel the pain, of someone close to you, leaving the game of life

    So here it is, another chance, wide awake, you face the day, the dream is over, or has it just begun?


    It seemed to be working, Ash's sobs slowed, and became more quiet.

    There's a place I like to hide, a doorway that I run through in the night

    Relax, you were there, but only didn't realize and were scared

    It's a place where you will learn to face the fears, retrace the years, and ride the whims of your mind

    Commanding in another world, suddenly, you hear and see, this magic new dimension.


    The soothing tone of her voice continued to lull Ash, Misty could see his eyelids were starting to droop and he was no longer crying.

    I, will be watching over you

    I, am gonna help you see it through

    I, will protect you in the night


    Misty saw Ash had fallen completely asleep. She finished off. "I'll be smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity". She took her sleeping bag, and moved it right next to Ash's. She held his hand. "And i'm smiling next to you" she repeated, giving him a kiss on his forehead, before she, too, fell asleep. They stayed this way through the rest of the night, and Ash was smiling the whole way. And Misty was smiling next to him.
    __________________
    My Pokemon TF story! Be sure to review!
    Reply With Quote

    Relevant Advertising!

      #2    
    Old July 30th, 2017 (6:34 PM).
    Vragon's Avatar
    Vragon Vragon is offline
    say it with me (Vray-gun)
    • Social Media
     
    Join Date: Nov 2016
    Location: In my little room with a window to the world!
    Gender: Male
    Nature: Impish
    Posts: 341
    Okay, so one of the bigger issues I have with this is how the characters are portrayed in this story. Now if your going to use a canon character it's not exactly a good idea to not use how the character has already been shown to be. I was half expecting Misty to punch ash off of her instead of a sudden calming out of nowhere. Perhaps a disclaimer of that you are adding parts or making it an alternate version and the characters won't be themselves.

    Other than some structuring and other stuff, I will be honest and say I didn't really like this that much. While I'm not a fan of shipping fics in general, if it's well written I would really like it. The issue I see here is that it's being rushed, and while I get you are using the song and trying to implement it, I don't think that it's good enough to make the shipping start like this (or as I felt it was acted more of Mother to child).

    Now I'm not condemning this, but merely saying keep in consideration that you shouldn't rush something like this. If Ash has a dream of Misty dying I could see him a bit emotional, though I will say I don't see him hugging her. Misty I would see doing things really different since she isn't open about her growing interest (since this is the Kanto arc and the feelings are developing as it goes on).
    __________________
    We must learn by experience to avoid either trains of thought or social situations which for us (not necessarily for everyone)
    lead to temptations. Like motoring-don't wait till the last moment before you put on the brakes but put them on,
    gently and quietly, while the danger is still a good way off.
    ~
    C. S. Lewis
    Vragon Zrone | Be the conductor of your trains of thought, like Ingo and Emmet. love these two!


    Reply With Quote
    Reply

    Quick Reply

    Join the conversation!

    Create an account to post a reply in this thread, participate in other discussions, and more!

    Create a PokéCommunity Account

    Sponsored Links
    Thread Tools

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Minimum Characters Per Post: 25

    Forum Jump


    All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:10 AM.