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  #1    
Old September 22nd, 2018 (10:59 AM).
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No one knows this.
But my life is horrible, irl and online.
I am alone, i live in an abusive household with nowhere to go.
I cannot support myself to move out.
I come online in hopes to make friends, or just be happy.
But it always fails, i can't communicate, so no one likes me.

Guys, I just want to kill myself.
I can see it as the only way out.
No one loves me, no one will miss me.
I can't call a hotline, I'm not allowed.
There's no mental health help here.
What can I do?
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  #2    
Old September 22nd, 2018 (1:39 PM). Edited September 22nd, 2018 by ShinyUmbreon189.
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    Meditation. I know it sounds stupid but meditations a natural way to relieve stress, anxiety, depression, any negative emotions but you have to do it properly and consistency is key. I know how it feels. But I'm gonna be 100 with you. The less friends the better, I learned this the hard way. The truth is, in this day and age most people are self centered and only care about themselves. I keep a small circle cause you can't trust people nowadays. By meditating you will get deep within yourself and be able to seek guidance to gain better understanding, acceptance, love, communication, list goes on. The more you do it, the easier it is to release your negative thought patterns. You need to find yourself, link your spirit back up cause I can tell it's lost. Do you have a job? If not try to get a job, cause self isolation will only lead to getting deeper and deeper into this abyss. Your minds a dangerous weapon at times and it can be used against you. If you need a friend just hit me in VM or PM.
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      #3    
    Old September 22nd, 2018 (1:42 PM). Edited September 22nd, 2018 by Enpatsu Shakugan.
    Enpatsu Shakugan Enpatsu Shakugan is offline
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    I have to question the whole part about not having friends anywhere. I've seen you here and how you post, I know that's not true.
    You do have friends here at least. Why would you want to say otherwise? The not liking part I know for a fact is baseless.
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      #4    
    Old September 22nd, 2018 (1:52 PM).
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    You're definitely not alone! I will talk to you for as long as you need so feel free to message me when I'm online. Since you're connected to the internet though, have you consider an online helpline? Do you think it would help?
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    Old September 22nd, 2018 (8:45 PM).
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    What Sheep said, I'm not an expert by any measure but my DMs are always open to anyone.
    She's also right that the internet is a great resource and you should be able to find more professional help services online.
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    Old September 23rd, 2018 (8:03 AM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by ShinyUmbreon189 View Post
      Meditation. I know it sounds stupid but meditations a natural way to relieve stress, anxiety, depression, any negative emotions but you have to do it properly and consistency is key.
      Not saying I disagree with this; however, if the "abusive household" involves lots of noise, meditation may not be enough when competing with background noise (and potentially physical). That said, I would recommend giving yourself (OP) space where noise is kept at a minimum before attempting this in earnest.

      [QUOTE[I know how it feels. But I'm gonna be 100 with you. The less friends the better, I learned this the hard way. The truth is, in this day and age most people are self centered and only care about themselves.[/QUOTE]
      Again, I'm not necessarily disagreeing but clarifying here: not so such about having less friends but better quality friends that allow deep(er) levels of communication & trust as opposed to merely having more people in your life to use for social validation and/or escapism. Sometimes, this means having more quality friends but not the point your relational ceiling (for lack of a better term) becomes distilled.

      Quote:
      By meditating you will get deep within yourself and be able to seek guidance to gain better understanding, acceptance, love, communication, list goes on.
      Not mention being able to examine your actions from an observer's perspective whilst not being as much a slave to being in the moment, which I would like to think is an important factor in a chaotic setting.

      Quote:
      The more you do it, the easier it is to release your negative thought patterns. You need to find yourself, link your spirit back up cause I can tell it's lost.
      Having someone the OP can trust could help fill in gaps to "link your spirit" via various forms of feedback, which could involve the aforementioned friends and/or professional help. Heck, finding a mentor could serve this purpose as well whilst learning (marketable) skills.

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Enpatsu Shakugan View Post
      I have to question the whole part about not having friends anywhere. I've seen you here and how you post, I know that's not true.
      You do have friends here at least.
      I assume the OP is referring to real life, which could help if there were more tangible relationships to help disconnect from the chaotic environment.

      Also, while we're at it, what are your nutritional habits looking like? Do you consume lots of carbs---in particular, added sugars? Do you consume alcoholic beverages and/or recreational/prescription drugs? The reason I'm asking this is that it's possible your biology could be working against you & exacerbating the issue.
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        #7    
      Old September 23rd, 2018 (11:10 AM). Edited September 23rd, 2018 by Zeke.
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      Crimson's post was the most helpful but ty for the support yall!
      I ended up going to the hospital, so im going to therapy.
      But my home life is still a mess, and it is chaotic. I can't concentrate to meditate and I don't think it would help because i'd just be going back into the fire.
      however, if there's others on here like me maybe keep this open for resources advice n stuff?

      I'm not an addict dw ^^
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      Old September 23rd, 2018 (11:45 AM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Raven View Post
      Crimson's post was the most helpful but ty for the support yall!
      I ended up going to the hospital, so im going to therapy.
      But my home life is still a mess, and it is chaotic. I can't concentrate to meditate and I don't think it would help because i'd just be going back into the fire.
      however, if there's others on here like me maybe keep this open for resources advice n stuff?

      I'm not an addict dw ^^
      I don't know why but for some reason I assumed you weren't able or willing to go that route.
      That was stupid of me.

      I'm glad that you're getting help now.
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      Old September 23rd, 2018 (12:07 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
      I don't know why but for some reason I assumed you weren't able or willing to go that route.
      That was stupid of me.

      I'm glad that you're getting help now.
      Therapy with a social worker is free here, it's the psychologist that cost money
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      Old September 23rd, 2018 (12:33 PM).
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      So happy you're seeing a therapist. Like, extremely so. I may not be the most helpful as far as advice goes but remember you (or anyone else who wants someone to talk to) can always go to me and I will always listen!
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        #11    
      Old September 26th, 2018 (6:58 AM).
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        I'm really happy to hear you started seeing a social worker!
        I was extremely worried about you facing an abusive household alone, I still am kind of because an abusive household is hell on earth to live through(I know this through second-hand experience), but at least now someone knows who you are and what you're dealing with.

        Stay strong!
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