I'm too old to change my opinion on some things at this point lol
So, I'm trying this update to do a narration style somewhere between "first impressions" and a narrative of the journey. Still going to use bullet points instead of a "fan fiction" type narration.
We left off with our intrepid heroine Lisa arriving in Motostoke and Sonia telling her to get her rear end over to the local gym stadium for some kind of opening ceremony.
Less appealing clothes selection in this city but I do change up Lisa's hairstyle. The outfit I carried over is more than cute enough for the time being, anyhow.
Gee, Pokemon League, thanks for shacking up potential gym challengers in a filthy, infested, no name economy motel. I reiterate, QUALITY INNS AND COMFORT INNS AND HAMPTON INNS AND EMBASSY SUITES EXIST FOR A REASON.
Team Yell have GOT to be the ugliest cheerleaders ever. And they keep calling this budget motel "swanky." I do not think that word means what they think it means. Maybe this place has 15% fewer roaches and bedbugs crawling about than the places Team Yell usually stay at? I dunno.
Marnie is cool enough (though not Sw/Sh Lass level waifu material) but the way her Pokemon stares into your soul with that smile is... unnerving.
At this point, Lisa's Galarian Adventure was waylaid by a nasty bedbug infection - nah, just kidding. Off-screen, she got out of that place and found a Quality Inn on the outskirts of town.
I don't appreciate them forcing me to change into these ugly sports uniforms against my will. WE'RE TRAINERS, NOT PRISON INMATES! I smell a lawsuit in the works.
Can't the League hire professionals, who look and act the part, to be Gym Leaders? This crew looks like they just crawled out of their mother's basement. A nice business suit and proper hair care and grooming goes a long way.
I hope that later in this game I unlock the ability to chokeslam Hop through a table.
Vs. Hop Battle 3
Wild Pokemon on Route 3 are surprisingly strong, and could probably destroy Hop almost as easily as I did. Whoever said there's no need to grind (permanent Exp. Share or not) is wrong.
Time to head back to the Wild Area to grind. While grinding, both Scorbunny and Rookidee evolve. More power is most definitely welcome.
Mining cave is pretty and the glittering gems look like Christmas lights. And the people online who were saying caves were short and linear are wrong. It's no Mt. Coronet or Mt. Mortar, but there were a few branching paths that led to items.
I seriously thought this guy at the end of the mine was an old lady. Turns out he's not, and actually has the right (arrogant and insulting) attitude for a rival. Too bad he's only a secondary rival. I'd exchange him for Hop in a second if a rival exchange center was a thing.
MAGIC WAND, MAKE MY MONSTER GROW! Or something like that.
So, this diesel engine ripoff mechanic that everyone in-game has been so hyped about is... turning Pokemon into large, red-tinted hot-air balloons. Consider me unimpressed. Milo made his monster grow. I took it down fairly easily - WITHOUT making mine do the same. I intend to do the same throughout the game. I don't need to rely on a gimmicky crutch like that to win battles.
Awkward long handshake is awkward. I *really* hope Milo washed his hands before the battle. At least it wasn't a long awkward hug like that one creepy guy at my former church used to give everybody.
The local breeding place is on Route 5. The Meowth I was traded was male. So that means a trip back to Route 4, catching a female mutated creepy grin Meowth, and breeding it with Cash. The effort, however, is VERY WELL worth it.
DAY 1 SHINY BRED MEOWTH HYPE! See attached pic. I hatched it at about 11:55 on 11/15, so it still counts as first day lol
I want to keep my new shiny the way he is, so I get another egg with another Meowth to permanently add to my team. But more grinding because a newly hatched Lv1 Meowth needs to catch up with the rest of the squad.
Meanwhile Skwovet evolved and is now Big Chungus Squirrel Pokemon.
After grinding, it's time to proceed over the bridge and... oh. It's him again.
Vs. Hop Battle 4
I swear, him doing that weird crouching pose is gonna cause him back problems by the time he's 50, if not before then.
It's a long bridge, but as far as long bridges go, I still prefer the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge in Charleston, SC.
See my last Hop battle roster for my current team. I'm pretty much stopping there to post and get some much-needed sleep. Photo attached to my post is my shiny Meowth. Picture quality is poor because 3DS camera (and because minimal differences between regular and shiny Meowth), but it does have that red "shiny" mark on the status screen (middle left)
We left off trekking through Route 5 and taking out some trash.
I headed back to the Wild Area for item hunting, grinding, and adding Pokedex entries.
So, finally making it to Hulbury, we come across an interesting conversation. Not sure what to make of this chairman guy, except his casual wear looks ridiculous (are those his boxer shorts?)
With the giant colored pipes, Nessa's Gym reminds me of Mario games for some reason - even if none of the pipes were green. Crasher Wake's gym in 4th gen had a similar puzzle with water and switches, except with raising/lowering water levels instead of water pipes. So yes, you've done something similar before in a Water gym.
Oh look, another insecure Gym Leader who thinks giant inflatable form is gonna stop me. It took two hits from (normal-sized) Jolteon to end this show, and that's with only Thunder Shock.
Okay, assistant lady, because you were rude to me, I'm going to purposely make Mr. Chairman wait by heading back to the Wild Area for a bit.
At this point, either because I'm an idiot or because I wasn't paying attention, I JUST NOW realize I've had a fishing rod since I'm not sure when. Time to catch some Water Pokemon in the Wild Area, including my permanent one.
Discussion at the seafood restaurant mostly revolves around GM truck diesels... I mean, the inflatable yard Santa look-alike Pokemon gimmick, which I'm only half paying attention to. The grilled catfish is delicious, though.
At the mine on the other side of town, a familiar face is waiting. Thankfully, it's not you-know-who.
Bede Battle #2
Again, good attitude for a rival, not that strong of a team, though.
It's Team Yell again, and no, I don't need anyone's assistance to take them on. I'm perfectly capable of taking them on myself. LISTEN TO TEAM YELL AND STAY OUT OF THIS, HOP. Fine, I'll just have to each all three of you clowns a lesson.
I'm mad now. I ain't gonna tolerate this interference again. I obliterate Hoppy-boy's joke of a team before proceeding to mop the floor with the gang. Hopefully that sends a statement to the whole lot of them, but... Hop's already proven to be the type who doesn't learn from mistakes, and "Team" Yell don't seem like the sharpest tools in the shed, either.
John McClane got the ruthless and cunning Hans Gruber as his nemesis. Why am I stuck with some bratty kid?
Really, that trashy no-name motel in Motostoke is still in business? And I have to step foot in that cesspool again? I reported them to the health department last time I was here. And it's another battle in here since the staff is too busy selling illegal substances to care about doing their jobs.
At least the person I'm battling isn't Hop this time.
Once again, I get the hell out of there before I contract some sort of disease. I stay at the Embassy Suites this time because I feel like splurging a little. Free cooked to order breakfast and evening reception, thank you!
Kabu seems like a cool older guy. Unfortunately he too relies on the hot air balloon form Pokemon as a crutch. Shellder, despite not having really good water attacks, takes giant fire centipede down with two strikes.
And that's where I'll leave off for now. Looks like another long trip through previously unexplored parts of the Wild Area are in store - but that'll be next time!
Well, Lisa just wrapped up business in Motostoke, but...
Cue annoying cutscene. At least Bede drags the annoyance away. Me crushing him multiple times hasn't taught him a lesson. Maybe Bede can. I'm counting on you to completely destroy and demoralize him, Bede. Send Hoppy-boy home with his tail between his legs. Maybe then I can persuade the league to assign me a better rival.
There are some interesting new Pokemon on this stretch of the Wild Area. Not interesting enough to add to my team permanently, but I do use them for awhile to see what they evolve into.
Hammerlocke is officially the best name for a Pokemon city ever. Some good clothing options in town, too.
Why is it that every time I encounter Team Yell, Mr. Annoying also pops up? At least he leaves me to my own devices to dispatch the bizarre cheerleader gang instead of running interference.
On Route 6, I encounter Trapinch, who will round out my permanent party. Now to get it caught up with the rest of my crew.
Next town is a dusty, rugged outpost. Let's do what we have to get done here and leave.
Unfortunately,I can't get to the next Gym without running into interference.
For crying out loud, could this get any easier? Hoppy-boy is now 0-5 against me. This is not a "rivalry." This is destruction. Domination. Annihilation. Evisceration. And unfortunately it's accompanied by endless blathering, weird poses, and creepy facial expressions. I'd say that he needs to give up and consider a fast food job, but even McDonald's and Burger King have standards.
I wouldn't be surprised if Lass Lauren back on Route 2 also cleaned his clock.
So, basically, this Gym Leader is like Hitori Bocchi or Bernadetta von Varley, but with none of their charm and looking like a Shy Guy. Got it.
More inflatable balloon Pokemon that go down in two hits. At least he forced me to switch Pokemon (thanks, Cursed Body :/ ), which is more than the previous Gym Leaders did? Not much else to write home about this one. Then again, I *am* at level 50.
Afterward, Sonia wants me to check out some local attraction but...
Looks like our buddy Bede is vandalizing local historic sites. Not that I have much of an interest, but crime is crime, so...
After the most recent Gym battle, I need to accompany the elderly Gym Leader to Hammerlocke.
Back in Hammerlocke, we run into our old friend Bede. Remember him? The recently disqualified one? Well, apparently Opal takes a shine to his pink overcoat, and in an equal parts amusing and awkward scene, drags him back to her gym for hopefully not sinister purposes.
More explosions but apparently that's none of my business.
Time to head to Route 7. And... crap.
Someone decided to run interference again, and I'll give you three guesses as to who it is. The first two don't count.
I'm done writing long rants about how absolutely pathetic he is. A pest like him isn't worth my time. So from here on out, I'm keeping things short and simple. With that said:
GO HOME HOP YOU'RE DRUNK
I have no intention of camping but on Route 8...
OMG THERE'S A TRAINER NAMED LISA WHO RUNS A CAMP AND SHE'S A LASS WHO'S THE BEST NPC TRAINER CLASS IN THE GAME! Best of all, I don't have to feel guilty about defeating her in battle since she just runs a camp :)
I attended an anime convention in a town called Colchester, Vermont two years ago, and stayed at a pretty good (though not among the best) Quality Inn while there. I bring this up because the name of the next town is Circhester, which sounds like Colchester.
OMG THIS TOWN HAS DRESSES I AM BUYING ALL THE DRESSES! At least until I run out of money.
Lisa: Proving that giant balloon Pokemon are no match for properly trained Pokemon since... November 15, 2019.
Friendly note to Sonia: Inviting me to restaurants is fine, but not when that freak of nature is tagging along for the ride. I'd really rather not be seen in public with him. And as she talks more about legends this and wall scrolls that, I keep thinkng that, despite the fact that there is a special feel in an Oldsmobile, I really would rather have a Buick.
Anyway, I'm forced to follow the two of them to the hot spring, because apparently me getting to the next gym and wrapping up this Gym challenge non-challenge is low on the priority list. And because obligatory hot spring episode. For the love of... do I really have to deal with this AGAIN?
Ahem... After that complete waste of my time, I'm FINALLY left to my own devices. Route 9 awaits.
I learn that I really hate the bike mechanic. How - and WHY - does it go over water? And why the hell do I change into some ugly bodysuit whenever I use it? No, seriously. Do some bike gods descend from above, knock me out with a chloroform rag, and change my clothes while I'm unconscious? That's disturbing. Yeah, I'm gonna use this thing only when absolutely necessary. I hate being forced to change out of this dazzling outfit I picked out for myself.
Also, constant hail sucks, since Cloyster (my only Pokemon not damaged by it) can't do much to the bevy of Water-types on this route.
I'm um... not sure while there's a giant steel door blocking the path to the next town... That's the type of thing you see at warehouses and store loading docks, not entire towns.
Oh, hey, it's been awhile, Marnie? Oh, you know a secret way into town? That's cool. And a battle, too? I mean, yeah, it's been awhile since we last battled, so I don't mind.
This secret entrance is... not so secret, if people would just look past the giant metal door.
So, like, is there a "nice" section of Spikemuth, or does it all look like red-light district?
Apparently this is ground zero for Team Yell's, um... operations. And evidently nobody on the team took Economics 101, since closing off the town probably did more damage to its economy than anything else
I seem to remember a Piers from the Golden Sun series back on the Game Boy Advance. I don't think this guy is the same person, though. Looks like the hardcore British rocker type, so I get him riled up with another type of British music...
BABY WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT EVERY SINGLE WORD COULD NOT EXPRESS...
Kinda appropriate, since it's lights-out time for Piers.
Piers might have had odd hair, but at least he wasn't vain like Raihan and at least he didn't do the stupid growth thing. Aside from the doubles battle format, it's business as usual here.
It seems a certain someone hasn't given up on his quest of futility. I hope Raihan fares better against Hoppy than he did against me. I'd like for there to be good competitors at the semifinals, thanks.
Sonia's apparently a professor now. Don't you usually need to, like, earn a doctorate and write a dissertation to become a professor? Also, she seems more interested in ancient lore than teaching Calculus 205 or Chemistry 101 at the local university...
YOU HAD ONE JOB RAIHAN!
More awkward train rides. Next time I'm upgrading to first class just so I'm seated away from him.
Yeah, It's Him Again Battle #8
To absolutely no one's surprise, Marnie put up more of a fight than this chump. Most of the "Make My Monster Grow" Pokemon at least take two hits to finish off. Hoppy-boy's goes down in one strike.
Um, what the hell battle were you watching, Leon? That was more one-sided than... well, Clemson vs. Wake Forest last weekend.
I'd rather not eat dinner with you guys, thanks for asking.
Yeah, not sure what the Rose Tower is or why I need to go there just because Leon's there. Isn't he a big boy who can take care of himself? But I'm tired of being pushed around. Therefore I head back into the Wild Area for more training and capturing. I'll join you lot when I'm good and ready. Or, you know, you can take care of this situation yourselves.
Now that I'm at level 71, I'm good and ready. And they didn't take care of it themselves.
We last left off with Lisa leveling up in preparation to storm the Rose Tower and hundreds upon hundreds of grunts that must be waiting for her in that massive tower... right?
Chasing random grunt around the town square is annoying.
Can we not do the whole "partner with the person who calls himself a rival but doesn't know what it actually entails" battles? Finishing off his Pokemon first each time isn't a challenge, but it is tedious.
Also, a 1,000 foot tower and only three waves of grunts? Good going there, guys.
Now I know why she keeps her eyes half shut most of the time. Her eyes get that crazy possessed look.
So, just because I walk in, the chairman ends the conversation and lets Leon walk away? Something tells me he's not done yet and has some secret scheme. Of course, I'm not given the chance to hear Rose's side of the story.
Next day it's the "finals" tournament, which is rather disappointing - it's the same Gym Leaders I've already beaten...
The fights were in this order. Nobody put up much resistance against my team.
Only thing of note is, Bede seemed kinda desperate. I worry about what old lady Opal is putting him through. Seems like the "retraining program" at USA Prime Credit.
Okay, Leon, you're next, and... sometimes I hate being right, Rose takes over the broadcasting system and says something about ancient legendary Pokemon revival and stockpiling energy.
This is what happens when you don't listen to your elders, Leon. They go crazy and attempt some insane stunt. Well, now it falls to me to stop the chairman.
But apparently we have to head back to meet the disappearing wolf legendaries - or something like that. I don't really pay attention to legendary stuff - or anything where Hoppy is incessantly running his mouth. Regardless, we don;t actually battle them here, or attempt to capture them.
Now, onto the boss man himself within his power plant - which is guarded by a grand total of zero grunts. Nice security there, buddy.
But he'll be in the next update, as the most important battles in this game probably merit their own update.
When we last left off, Lisa had just successfully battled Rose's entire security force of exactly ZERO grunts.
So, Rose is accompanied by some sort of... skeleton dragon Pokemon? Thing looks freaky nonetheless. Anyway he talks about his plans for energy gathering, sounding a lot like Queen Beryl. Except he didn't directly attack anybody, so he's not really evil. His plans (as most involving ancient legendary Pokemon do) had some... unintended consequences. We still have to fight, though.
Chairman Rose Battle
The chairman falls, and of course the legendary is going berserk. Because why not?
After some stuff with you-know-who blabbing about nothing (tell me again why he tagged along? To make me hate him even more?) and legendary wolf Pokemon joining in one of those raid-like captures, I'm forced by plot device to capture the skeletal dragon.
With Rose now serving time for not being actually evil, it's time to finally beat the crap out of Leon and shut him up once and for all.
But first, some more leveling, capturing, and an outfit change is in order.
UK friends, tell me: Is using "champion" as an adjective a British thing, or is it simply a "Leon being an obnoxious tool" thing?
As always, this battle would be much more epic if we could WEAR OUR NORMAL CLOTHES instead of these god-awful government-mandated uniforms...
Bow Down To Your Real Champion Battle
Another "nothing to write home about" battle, but I guess I should share what happened to his "invincible" Charizard.
I have Jolteon on the field when he sends it out. Leon does as Leon does and makes it grow. I use Thunder Wave to paralyze it. He uses whatever the grass super move is, which:
a) Doesn't match his type
b) Isn't super effective against Jolteon. Its HP is still in the green.
c) Causes a terrain effect that conveniently heals Jolteon.
I use Discharge, thinking it will knock it into the yellow. Wrong. It knocks Charizard deep into the red. It's paralyzed for this turn and doesn't attack.
I swap out for Flygon. Leon uses Full Restore. His three turns are up and reverts to normal.
Rock Slide finishes this in one strike.
Tell me again how this clown went undefeated for so long?
Anyway, Lisa is crowned new Champion, and a hard earned celebration is in order - one without an obnoxious pair of brothers ruining the mood, thank you very much.
But there are things to do post-championship, the least of them being to revoke the stupid uniform policy for gym battles - but with the Galar region's government, policy reform takes awhile.
There's other matters to address as well. That may or may not be covered in an update in a few days.
Lisa's Championship Final Stats:
Pokedex Completion: 157
Play Time: 58:06
(Nobody leveled up during the Leon fight, so they're still at Level 79)
We last left off with Lisa beginning the post-game scenario. So let's get started!
I don't want head back to this foggy forest. Not because of where it is, but who's probably gonna be there.
And... I'm right. Crap.
Getting Really Fed Up With Seeing You Battle #9
It needs to be said again: How in the hell did this loser get past Route 2?
Sonia, any respected, accredited institute of higher learning and research has a long, involved hiring process for new professor hires that takes months of interviews and research into their credentials. All that is to say, you're a fine example of classic nepotism at work.
Um, we already have one set of obnoxious brothers. Do we really need a second? And what's with their stupid hair?
Sonia, you're surprised that the loser got the stuffing beat out of him? Because I'm not surprised in the least. Losing has been his special skill since Day 1.
So, we have to visit the gyms over again and defeat giant berserk Pokemon. I don't mind teaming with Piers and the other Gym Leaders. But You-Know-Who needs to get lost. And eventually we get summoned back to the lab.
Lisa fights one legendary, captures another, and curses at ineffective "Ultra" Balls during the capture. She goes through ten of the useless things before the capture succeeds.
And it's back to the foggy woods because plot. I'd let the legendary Pokemon slaughter this loser if it were up to my own devices.
WILL FIGHTING YOU AGAIN FINALLY SHUT YOU UP Battle #10
Will this idiot stop blabbing every time I decimate one of his Pokemon?
Oh, he wants to use a legendary as a crutch? Cinderace is having none of it and one-shots it.
Him? A professor?
College will chew him up and spit him out, plus, he seems like he'd be the "1.4 rating on RateMyProfessor.com" type, not that he'd ever make it that far.
What a delusional twat. Hopefully I'll never hear from him again.
Well, with that done, there's only a few loose ends to tie up. I hear Marnie's itching for a battle, but after going through all that post-game slog, I'm gonna wait a bit before taking her on.
Not sure if I want to breed/raise a proper EV/IV team, since online matching for battles is a hot mess with the Y-Comm. and I haven't been involved in online battles since the peak of X/Y.
So yeah, this is probably my last update for this, since most everything is done with. Hope everyone enjoyed joining Lisa on her quest to crush all who dare oppose her! Overall, the game was... okay. A fairly average entry that did some things well but really messed up other things. In other words, given that it's Pokemon, it was about what I've come to expect.