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  #26    
Old July 17th, 2017 (4:28 PM).
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I like the part where Seven was hallucinating about her professor mentioning she wants freedom like a frog in a pond. Usually one would use birds flying for freedom, I don't see that used with frogs too often.

The part where she was able to pass through the guards was a cool scene, though a part of me wonders if you can add a bit more reaction to the Pokemon before Seven was able to recall them. Otherwise, things seem to be going fine so far for her though I believe she'll face other obstacles soon.
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  #27    
Old July 23rd, 2017 (9:41 PM).
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Hax really doesn't think highly of Thoth, huh. Hopefully Thoth can prove him wrong. =p And not surprising Team Rocket are up in arms with the White Knights if those guys have beaten their grunts to death. Interested in more development of their conflict.
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  #28    
Old July 31st, 2017 (4:19 PM).
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Set's definition of fun is on the odd side, especially when it comes to toilets. I admit a part of me wasn't unsure of the toilet jokes due to you doing toilet humor in SoulSwitch's last chapter too, but huh looks like there is going to be something involving flushing toilets that is important, hmm. Also I like that Set was humored over being tricked with using Destiny Bond.
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  #29    
Old August 3rd, 2017 (6:40 PM).
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However, the connection between the two systems remain. By using the emergency systems in reverse, I can divert the excess water in the old sewer into the new one, letting you escape through the old sewers. Tell Hax that I’m not a piece of garbage, will you? Oh wait, he’s dead.”
I admit, I chuckled at that part. Blacksmith killing Hax was a cool scene, though.

Seven punching the bars in her true Zoroark form was a risky move with all those Team Rocket grunts, but seems to work in her favor in the end. Looks like this arc is about to wrap up soon!
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  #30    
Old August 7th, 2017 (5:56 PM).
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Interesting use of Pain Split there, Set was indeed was grateful for that heh. So Thoth doesn't know Steven's true identity. His theory of a sixth Pokemon is close but also so far. I wonder how he and the other Pokemon will react to Giovanni's secret.
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  #31    
Old August 12th, 2017 (7:27 PM).
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I take it only Bruno noticed Seven's true appearance when everyone was watching the video? I was about to say he probably should let Peter know if that's the case, but then again he probably don't want Seven to get in trouble.

Bayron the elder Lucario, huh? I swear, this is like the third time you named a character after me, hahaha. But anyways, that's nice of him to give Bruno a chance to convince Seven to seek asylum. I have a feeling it won't be as easy as Bruno thought it would be, though. Also, interesting Lucario has some influence over this city's police force there.
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  #32    
Old August 20th, 2017 (9:49 PM).
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Fisher's "Good pratice at pretending to be human" line at Seven there, geez way to be smooth there. At least he was considered if Seven were to blow her cover while they were out.

Looks like Seven is a bit conflicted whether to be a Pokemon or still continued her work as a Rocket. Giovanni's reaction should be interesting.
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  #33    
Old September 4th, 2017 (3:27 PM).
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“If at any point you take a step in any direction, the walls come back up.” The Adin Also, this remote activates the collar around your neck. It can either give you a powerful electric shock, or I can inject you with a powerful anesthetic.” His grin widened. “There’s also a variant that explodes, but I decided that was unnecessary.”
Bolded I think is a typo?

So, Bruno in the middle of a set up I expected that to happen. Seven pulling off the "let's play a game" scenario similar to a horror game (though a tamer version of that)? Less so. Bruno's soul must have been crushed after going through that ordeal, although I'm unsure what to make of Seven's behavior there yet.
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  #34    
Old September 12th, 2017 (9:36 PM).
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Ok, so Seven did feel some reluctance when with Bruno last chapter. I admit to forgetting the professor used the same tactics there. Now, the backstory there oh dear those poor Zorua. = < Seven being the remaining test subject is kinda cliche in that that always happen whenever this situation pops up in fiction, but I'm still interested how Seven finding all this out will affect her now.
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  #35    
Old September 21st, 2017 (10:06 PM).
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Some of the info concering Lucario and aura is cool, but dear over Bruno's situation there. Hopefully it doesn't have to come putting Lucario down. There's also that letter that sounds a bit worrisome, but it could also be false alarm and safe. Peter might have a long several hours with those two Lucario heh.
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  #36    
Old October 6th, 2017 (9:36 PM). Edited October 6th, 2017 by Bay.
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Bruno seems to still trying to get himself together, but probably it won't last much longer if Seven keeps this charade up. To Bruno she may seem proud of herself showing that video to him, but I'm convinced she has lingering doubts of how she'll feel when Bruno finally breaks.
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  #37    
Old October 8th, 2017 (9:54 PM).
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Pokemon having Chatot be their translators I think is a cool idea and makes sense. Everyone in the White Knights being Pokemon explains why they've been going against Team Rocket. Subject Nine's appearance, tho. I thought Subject Nine is gone due to that journal entry mentioning they only have a day left to live, seems that isn't the case. I feel Subject Nine's foreshadowing should have happened much earlier in the story, like during the warehouse incident. There's a chance though you probably left some subtle clues there and I need to check back on those earlier chapters.
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  #38    
Old October 17th, 2017 (10:28 PM).
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Bye bye Thoth, nice knowing you. D= But yeah, Bruno and Seven working together for this mission, this should be a wild ride.
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  #39    
Old October 23rd, 2017 (10:01 PM). Edited October 23rd, 2017 by Bay.
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I admit the ending there seems abrupt, with last chapter Bruno and Seven going to work together and then this chapter you have Preston grabbed him. This could still work if next chapter showcases Bruno and Seven working together and what happened before that alarm, but it's your call how you want certain events be shown and such.
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  #40    
Old October 30th, 2017 (4:41 PM).
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Oh ok yeah the slight change back in Ch 39 does makes the events unfolding more sense. I thought you could've made Seven react more when Giovanni mentions they won't go save Bruno. Bringing Ditto has a lot of potential of what Seven can do with it, and I think I'll like the upgraded Thoth as much as the original heh.
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  #41    
Old November 13th, 2017 (6:05 PM).
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Peter and Bruno's reunion was sweet only for it to be short lived. Nine taking Bruno away doesn't sound too good.

Seven's interview with the White Knights there looks intense, don't know if I can handle sudden combat like that haha. Wonder if the White Knights's training will be different from Team Rocket's.
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  #42    
Old November 30th, 2017 (10:45 PM).
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“It is unfortunate that we all have unique capabilities,” Nine mused to the man standing before him. “It would be better for everyone if we were all the same, but it’s an impossibility borne of an imperfect world. Failing that, one would hope that we could all at least share the same capabilities, but in evolving to fit into a society, different classes emerged to address early civilization’s different needs. Thus, inequality in aptitude became a genetic disposition that has endured beyond the point they became a hindrance to cooperation.”
That sounds awfully fishy there...

Huh, so Ditto cells huh? Guess that explains how Nine is here now. Yeah, I think it's mention in a previous chapter the puropse of those experiments to make them Pokemon assassins.

Speaking of Ditto, when that Ditto took Seven's place there I'm reminded of the Ditto sidequest in Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon haha. I can imagine the White Knights checking Seven but then the fake Seven goes "Di..too?"

Quote:
Anyways, Cold realization washed over her like a bucket of ice water. “Then how the hell am I getting back up there?”

The tablet flickered, and the words “Holy ****” appeared on the screen before the connection with Thoth died out.
Best reaction from Thoth there.
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  #43    
Old December 11th, 2017 (10:34 PM).
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“Nope! I got barfed out of a human without any pants on, and we got shot at by dozens of police officers.”

Thoth’s clock speed dipped as he took in the absurdity of that comment. “I’m really glad I don’t have any memory backups.”
Indeed you're better off not having those memory backups, Thoth.

Set's "you can't die if you're already dead" he has a point with him already being a ghost and all. The next part with Fourteen not exactly getting the commander's image right I chuckled.

Quote:
His thoughts snapped back to that meeting, and those present. Commissioner Mason, Officer Peter, and three lucario – the latter had no reason to help Team Rocket, and Peter had plenty of reason to hate the Rockets. If Gregory was a Rocket mole, it would certainly explain the police bungling at Stonebough.

The thought drew a drooping frown on his face. It’s entirely possible the police could stab him in the back if that were the case, and all they’d need for an excuse is the illegal use of an EMP.
Quote:
Bruno opened his mouth, but Nine talked over him. “There are only four groups of people who know about the Mirage Project. Professor Martin is dead. Team Rocket has the files from his public computers, but I doubt they found his private stash. The Justice Committee could only be more tight-lipped about their military secrets if they had their mouths sewn shut. And last, there’s me and the few police officers I told in utmost secrecy. Now, unless they thought a traitor or a Justicar leads the White Knights, they have to know I was involved, and the only five living beings that know my secret are Commissioner Mason, Officer Peter, Elder Bayron, and the two lucario Jarem and Kolar.”

Bruno flinched at the second name and growled at the last two. Nine studied his reactions before continuing. “The lucario have no love for Team Rocket and its pokemon as tools agenda, no other police officer knows of the meeting, and the room was checked for bugs and psychic tampering before the meeting. That leaves two options.”
Next chapter you Nine figured out about the EMP incident, but I think that bolded paragraph probably isn't totally needed since you later have him repeat it to Bruno later. Either way though, wonder what's going to happen with the Commissioner there.

With Admin Colson being captured, sounds like Seven and the others will have to hitch up a new plan there.
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  #44    
Old January 1st, 2018 (11:43 AM).
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Okay, time for catch up! While I feel bad for Peter being conflicted over the possibility of losing Bruno, the possible "Pokemon will take over the world" scenario I'm getting those same vibes from one of your past works, but that's not a bad thing. I'll wait and see how the rest of the story unfolds before I make more judgment on that.

Heh over Set not like to eat good dreams and him almost getting carried away. I admit, I probably forgot Colson having metal parts/battery with him (or, that's what I'm assuming).

Speaking of Colson, already expected he'll be going under but still sounds painful. Seven and Nine also got to meet, and I admit I still can't get over Ditto genes man. Let's hope she made the right choice in not joining with him.

Quote:
With the last of her strength, Nine lifted Colson onto her shoulder and staggered towards the door. His eyes were dulled over, and his speech slurred.

“What… what did he say?”

“He wanted me to join him,” Nine said, “And I said no.” She glanced down at him and added, “He said that you would kill me once you no longer have a use for me.”
I think you mixed up Nine and Seven here.

Quote:
Seven’s vision as she shouldered her way through a narrow staircase.
I think you're missing a word in between "Seven's vision as".
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  #45    
Old January 16th, 2018 (9:44 PM). Edited January 16th, 2018 by Bay.
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Nine grimaced. “Since that night, yes. I was hoping to find a way to counter their abilities, since I’m fairly sure the Justicar will use them to eliminate me. If I had known this would come of it–”

Peter cut him off by pressing the barrel of his gun up into Nine’s ribcage. He held the weapon so his body kept it from view of the officers and Knights behind him.

“I should kill you for what you did.”
I think this is a favorite scene of mine of Peter's throughout this story.

Knowing you, I expected Peter to not last the moment he made contact with Bruno, but it's still a brutal scene to read, yikes. I'm sure Bayron reacted badly there.
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  #46    
Old January 29th, 2018 (8:27 PM).
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From reading your notes and this chapter, I see you're now going for Team Rocket vs Team Plasma. I looked back at Chapter 48 since I pointed out the "Pokemon taking over the world" vibes going on. Guess it makes a bit more sense now with your version of N inspired by "N is a Pokemon theory" going on. I'm mixed on that characterization since in the games N later realize Pokemon and humans can work together, but I don't expect you to go that route prematurely with the way the story's tone is going now. Despite that concern, still interested we're the rest of the story will go. With your version of Ghetsis gone, I wonder how this version of Team Plasma will go.
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  #47    
Old February 18th, 2018 (6:34 PM).
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Nice little interaction with Seven and Blacksmith there, especially with him being blunt what she needed work on. And oh my over Ghetsis's appearance. I noticed the last few chapters you went with this human/not human theme going on with references to robotics and Seven's ability, and I'm reminded of some fan theories of Ghetsis's arm and eye (gen five has a lot of fan theories it seems haha). Curious how Giovanni and Ghetsis's interaction will go.
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  #48    
Old February 19th, 2018 (4:31 AM).
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    Overall the chapter was relatively interesting. You displayed in depth knowledge of topics which is important in logic building. I sense more sinister things to come. I assume the White Knights are related to Team Plasma but is it the Neo-Team Plasma or the first Team Plasma? Either way, it is nice to see some of the BW villains such as Ghetsis getting some attention.
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