Rated M for demons and the things that demons tend to do.
Nobody wants to be the king of death. But it's a job, and somebody out there has to do it. You've been unanimously chosen by a panel made up of all the previous kings of death to be the new king. The only problem is, you're still alive.
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Prologue
?I woke up today and looked at myself in the mirror. Of course, I tend to do this every morning as it's a part of my daily routine, but today when I look at myself I just can't stand what I see anymore. It's like, I'm stuck here, y'know? I looked down at the counter and grabbed my razor. I held it, against my throat, right? Like I was gonna slash it and just get it over with, you feel me? But like, what's the point y'know? It's not gonna get me anywhere. It's just another hell. I'm stuck here. Forever, whether I think I'm free or happy or whatever, we'll all always be here. You know what I'm saying??
?Well, Frederick, I do get what you're saying. After all, you're just like us. Just because you look a little different that doesn't mean what's on the inside is too. Your soul is as black as the rest of ours whether you want to admit it or not.?
?Awww, Belzel.? The man sat up from the lounger he'd been laying on and stared at the little man across from him with a grin on his face. "You're the best little demon friend slash minion slash secretary thing that I've ever had.?
The demon picked up a cigar from the table next to it and pressed it against the fiery cracks in his charcoal colored skin. ?I've been telling you for who knows how many hundreds of years now not to call me that. My name is Beelzebub. I have a proper demon name unlike some of the riffraff that kids these days try coming up with for their shitty video games and fan fiction. I'd appreciate if youd use that name as it was intended, otherwise, Satan's left hand man is going to have to have a talk with him about his right hand man.?
?Oh yeah, 'cuz that went over so well the last several hundred times you tried it. Face it, the King of Death will always rank higher than even the oldest of demons as long as God and Satan hold up their bargain regarding the role. Although, I have been thinking that it's just about time that I got back out into the world. I dont even remember when I became the King anymore. I'm pretty sure nowadays being the King of Death would seem a lot more appealing to the random Joe than it did back in my day.?
?Yes, of course. Everybody these days wants to die but the greater majority of them just dont have it in them to off themselves. Your role here should appeal to a great number of them.?
?Guess that settles that then. It's time to call for a meeting of the old kings and see if we can't find the perfect candidate. Maybe in this day and age I'll finally be able to live a relatively normal and happy life up above.?
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