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Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.
1,225
Posts
15
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Where do replies or comments on stories go?
Old reply is old but. Comments on stories go in the story's thread; feel free to leave commentary and reviews there.

As for current writing:

I got hit by a bit of inspiration (and took advantage of having the dev office all for myself at work) so I came up with a fragment of what will be, for one of my next stories, part of the introduction for both The Ace and their rival.

Spoiler:
 

Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.
1,225
Posts
15
Years
And to celebrate PC is back, a preview of a thing I was writing in the meantime, because why not.

(There's a lot more context behind this and I was even asked to make it into a full story but for the time being there's this and a fuller pastebin at #writers-room that I might do something more orderly about later)

Ravir did not break stride at all when he ran down the end of the stairs and turned left into the "11" tunnel; between his azure hair blocking his sight somewhat, unkempt for a good while, and the heavy military bag he was carrying he was not able to brake properly to turn to the corridor and soundly crashed against the opposite wall shoulder-first. He let out a bored yell, shrugged it off and trotted ahead.

A few footsteps followed from the staircase and Thom soon appeared as well, having followed his brother into the corridor. As soon as the trainer got out of the stairwell, he paused for a moment to check on Feraligatr as the crocodilian leapt from the higher floor, his tail bending the rail. The two nudged each other's fists and followed after the elder brother.

"Salar, we're at Borefront-C eleven," Ravir spoke to a communicator panel attached to his shoulder. No answer. "Salar, we just hit Borefront-C, over?"

Without an answer, both Trainers carried on focusing on what was coming up ahead - some yells and commands from people who were trying to leave the facility, and the persistent rumbling of the tunnels. They passed through a security gate - already broken through by claws and what appeared to be shrapnel so they did not have to bother with it. Thom made a mental note of a still functioning screen flashing a message in yellow.

«ESB 45%»

A chime on Ravir's comm unit.

"We copy you; our hands are full but we are monitoring the escape. Can you see any of the personnel, over?"
 

Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.
1,225
Posts
15
Years
So, over the last.... weeks or something, people have told me I should write more PMD and...

Feremiz looked around the place. It was just a half-made tent with a long wooden desk where various little trinkets and ornaments lay. The Tepig took a look at them, taking note of some little silver coins and at the very center a small object, looking like a cap, that reminded Feremiz of a Pokéball... whatever that was. Round, with a red and a white half and a circle in the middle. He wondered what it meant.

Still, there was noone around so he just let his sight wander for a moment and decided to head back to the plaza.

"...Boo!" spoke the little ball-like top suddenly, adding a wiggle. "You look like a good customer."

"...Aaaah" Feremiz skipped a heartbeat and stepped back. The little ornament had moved! "...Wha? What are you?"

He took a couple of steps to get closer and lowered his head, noticing what appeared to be a simple item was instead a sort of... creature, a mushroom-like blob with the "hat" shaped round and heavily pigmented, giving the impression of an ornament.

"Pay mind here, 'pioneer'," spoke the creature, stretching a bit and lifting its 'hat', "I have good passcodes if you have coin."

"Y-you a- wait..." Feremiz stammered. He inched even closer. "Y-you're a Pokémon!"

"D'uh look *who's* speaking," answered the creature in a surly tone. "And you are a totally native Tepig, aren't you?"

The Tepig blinked a few times, surprised, and took a closer look at the creature. With small size and everything, sure he had good camouflage. Why, he was sure Vorylina and him had wandered around the place several times in the last two weeks and the store had always been "empty", he swore!

The Foongus noticed the Tepig's blank stare.

"Geez, you look tired. You did save after waking up this morning didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, 'save'?" Feremiz shook his head. "I'm new around here and I don't... I don't really know that much people."

The creature's hat bounced back and forth.

"Of course not, your people are back home ain't it? Now, I'm Gamañel and this is my little store. Who might you be, kid?"

"...Kid?" Feremiz frowned. He might be trapped in the body of a Tepig but he did recall he was a lot larger and... something about taxes. Still, he shook his head. "I'm uuuh Feremiz."

"Welcome then. This store... doesn't see much activity. See," the Pokémon spoke bouncing proudly, "I work up a very select clientèle, out of this world you might say."

"H-haaa, sure," answered Feremiz with a nervous grin.

The two Pokémon just looked at each other for a moment, half of the Tepig's mind wondering when would his Axew partner come take him off this calvary. As for the Foongus, he seemed to pick on Feremiz's uneasiness.

"Aaaah where are my manners. Sorry if we don't shake hands but-" the Foongus added, "I see we both find ourselves short of them at the moment."

Feremiz fumbled at the comment.
 

Konekodemon

The Master of Pokemon Breeding
2,074
Posts
17
Years
  • Age 39
  • NC
  • Seen Nov 20, 2023
No one interested in Bleach because it's something that's not Pokemon?

https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=349085

This is scene 1 from Chapter 3 though I did write more chapters than this:
The next morning was Jushiro's day off. He didn't need to be at a meeting and there were no jobs for him to take. So, he was free to show his guest around the Seireitei. After all, since she'd got here she had yet to see much of anything of the Seireitei after all. The two were currently having their morning breakfast together. Rika noticed he looked deep in thought about something. She looked up from her plate and smiled at him, "Something on your mind?"

Jushiro looked up, surprised he had been in a daze. "Sorry, my mind was adrift." He gave her a friendly smile. "Actually I was thinking in the places to show you. There is so much to see. We have a shopping district. The Seireitei is extremely large. Larger than any human city." He was trying to hint to her that he wanted to take her out to see what the Seireitei was like. However, the message didn't seem to get across to her.

"Wow! That sounds awesome." However, just then she changed the subject. She recalled him mentioning the word Zanpakuto when they first met but she'd passed out before he could explain, "Also, I know this is off topic here but I just remembered, when we met you mentioned something about something called a Zanpakuto. What exactly is that?"

Jushiro remembered he had been about to explain it to her that first night when they met but had lost his chance to. Well, now was as good a time as any then, "The Zanpakuto is the formal name of our swords. Each Soul Reaper has one, except most of the ones from Squad 4." Getting up, he went over and retrieved his sword, showing her. "This is my Zanpakuto in its sealed state. As you can see it looks like an ordinary katana sword." He paused a moment, drawing out the blade. "However, when we fight we call out a name or phrase and our sword will transform into something completely different. Each one is different and has a unique transformation."

She touched it and thought she heard a voice. "Did you hear something?" She questioned him. She had no idea the voice she was hearing was coming from the sword itself. She also didn't know that only the Zanpakuto's owner could hear it speak and that it was very odd that she was hearing it talk.

"I'm probably just hearing things though. It's probably just all the stress I've been under. Don't worry about it." She's been stressed? Well, a day showing her around the Seireitei to help her get used to being here may would help with her stress. Seemed she was still in a state of shock from being brought from her own world right into some unknown one she'd never heard of before meeting him.

"You were able to hear that?" Jushiro sat back and gazed at his sword. He was quite surprised his sword spoke out to her and she could hear them. "Normally only the wielder can hear their sword speak. How curious." He brought a finger to his chin. "Sogyo no Gotowari can be quite mischievous." He could see his words were confusing her once more. "Each Zanpakuto is actually a living entity within the sword. We can communicate with our swords, which helps us to be able to work alongside as partners."

"Wow! That's very interesting," she grinned.

"You should see Bankai. Now that can be cool," she heard.

"Bankai?" She questioned, "What's a Bankai?" Now there was no doubt she'd heard his Zanpakuto talking, seeing as he hadn't even mentioned Bankai to her.

Jushiro frowned at his sword. "Now that is quite enough you two. How are you able to communicate with her?"

When the sword didn't speak, he sighed. "Always the tricksters, I'm telling you." He looked to his female guest. "Bankai is the ability each Captain has been able to achieve. It's the ultimate weapon we have after we awaken our swords. It takes years to learn and more to master it. At this point in time there is only one other, who is not a Captain and has obtained Bankai and he's the Lieutenant of Squad 6, Renji Abarai. Mind you he only just learned Bankai and has yet to really master his power."

"Renji? You mean the guy with red hair and tattoos on his face I met yesterday?" She asked him. She remembered that Renji had a bit of an attitude when he'd introduced himself to her. She had already finished her meal and was just sitting at the table talking to him. She didn't yet know that Jushiro had the day off today.

"Yes. He is friends with one my subordinates, Rukia Kuchiki." Jushiro then removed the sword from the table. "He was able to achieve bankai by a manner one of our former Captains created. It was quite remarkable he was able to learn in three days when usually it takes years."

"Do you know how to do Bankai?" Rika asked him. She took a sip of her juice as she asked that, which was almost empty by this time.

Jushiro chuckled. "Yes. But with my age, my bankai can be extremely dangerous. My shikai is quite strong. And just so you know shikai is the name used when our Zanpakuto awakens." He took her plate and removed it from the table. "Since today I have off, lets tour around. I'm sure you would like to see the city." He could tell the poor girl was stressed and he was beginning to worry for her.

"Really? That would be great. Thank you very much," she told him. She finished her juice and took her glass to the sink. She had already done her morning routine hours ago. So, she was already bathed and dressed. Even her hair was already in its buns style that she always wore. All she needed to do was slip on her shoes, which was at the door. Right now, she was wearing slippers on her feet.

Amused by her enthusiasm, Jushiro chuckled as he picked up his haori, putting it on. "Come, let us go and start that tour. There is much to see." He took her by the hand and escorted her to the main area of the house where their shoes were.

She slipped on her shoes, "Wait... did you say Rukia? I know someone by that same name. She went to my school and was friends with another friend of mine. His name's Ichigo Kurosaki." She knew Ichigo? "I believe her last name was Kuchiki... hmm, why does that last name sound familiar?" She wondered as they made their way out the door. She was grateful that they would not be flash stepping this time.

"Yes. Rukia was in the World of the Living under a disguise in the same manner as I already informed you." He thought back to when he learned what Rukia had been doing while stationed in the human world and he was told, surprised him. "Rukia is the adopted sister to Byakuya Kuchiki, but at the same time she's also his sister in law. Byakuya was married to her older sister until her death."

"And now he's with Alison," she pointed out. How did she figure that out? Well, Alison must have mentioned it to her the other day. The two of them were walking around and her eyes sparkled at what she saw, "An ice cream shop!" The place looked a bit fancy for an ice cream place but she wasn't used to seeing places like these so everything looked fancy to her. The way she reacted to sweets though was so cute.

Jushiro was quite amused as her eyes lit up. He smiled. "Yes. As I said earlier, we do have a shopping district, which is in the center." And seeing her excited face he asked her, "Would you like some?"

"Oh! Really, you don't have to," she told him.

"But I want to," Jushiro grinned.

"Well, if you insist," she smiled as Jushiro pulled out his money and bought her some ice cream. She'd gotten chocolate and strawberry on a cone. She thanked him and begin licking it. After it was gone She saw a reaper struggling with some heavy bags. She ran over to her, "Hey, let me help you with those."

Rika grabbed about half the bags from the woman, smiling at her. Rika being kind to a complete stranger probably brought a smile to Jushiro's face. This girl was so kind and caring to others. She was a crybaby but seemed to really care about people.

"I don't wish to tare you away from Captain Ukitake," said the woman. She had red hair and a blue ribbon tied in a bow in the back of her head. Her eyes were blue and she was very short. That could be why she'd been struggling with her bags.

"Oh, it's fine. No problem." Rika knew Jushiro would come anyway. Hey, maybe he could follow her example and help as well.

"It's no trouble at all," Jushiro stated as he stepped over to the two. "I'd like to introduce you to my guest Rika. Like Alison, she's here for protection." Everyone knew by now there was a human living in the Seireitei under protection from Aizen. Jushiro then lifted some of the bags into his arms, wanting to be helpful as well.

"Nice to meet you. My name's Miki Abarai," said the girl.

"Abarai... Abarai... where have I heard that name before?" Rika wondered.

"Maybe you've heard of my brother. His name's Renji." She looked up at Jushiro, "Well, good morning Captain Ukitake. Thanks for the help."

"No problem," Jushiro smiled.

"You two know each other?" Rika asked him.

Jushiro nodded. "Miki is seeing Captain Hitsugaya and is his Third seat. They have been dating for quite some time and if I remember correctly you two are slowly planning a wedding?" He could remember how Renji was upset when she was adopted into Toshiro's family but he had gotten over it.

"Oh, the guy that hates it when I use his first name," stated Rika. "I'm Rika."

"I know. I heard about you from my Captain. He said you have unusual high spiritual powers and need to be protected from Aizen," Miki answered. "Though, you look like a normal human to me." Miki was as confused as everyone else why Rika had such high spiritual powers.

They got to her home with the bags. After helping her take the bags inside Miki thanked her and invited her to her wedding and the two continued exploring around. They then ran into Soifon a few hours later while walking around. Rika smiled at her, "Hey Soifon, how are you?" She should be the one asking Rika that.

Soifon looked to the human. "That should be me asking you that, not the other way around." Her brows were furrowed. "What brings you here with Captain Ukitake?"

"He's showing me around the Seireitei," she told her. Though it was about lunch time. The two had been walking around for hours. Rika was getting tired. She wasn't used to walking around as much as Jushiro was. And he could probably guess she was getting tired as well.

"It would be faster if you flash stepped. Captains Ukitake, Kyoraku, Kuchiki and the Head Captain are the ones with the fastest flash step," Soifon explained. She didn't know that Rika got motion sick easily.

"Uh… I'd rather not thanks," she responded.

"How about I treat you out to my favorite place to eat," Jushiro suggested to Rika, interrupting.

"I'd like that, thank you," Rika told him. She turned to Soifon, "It was nice seeing you again Soifon." Jushiro had wanted her to bond with Alison but it seemed she was bonding with Soifon instead. Perhaps Soifon could keep her company sometimes when she's not working but he is.

"Enjoy yourself," Soifon stated. She looked to Jushiro. "I have already tightened security."

"That's good to know, thank you. Have a good day Soifon." Jushiro placed a hand on Rika's shoulder and steered towards the restaurant district.

Her feet were sore by the time they reached the restaurant district and they weren't even at the place Jushiro wanted to take her to yet. She was walking slower and slower and was breathing hard. By now he noticed her struggling.

Feeling bad for her, he stepped back to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "I hate to do this, but it will be much faster. I'll try to go as easy as I can."

"What are you doing? Aieeeee!" She cried out in terror, feeling the wind rush passed her.

He then flash stepped to the entrance of the restaurant. "After here, I'll take you back home so you may rest."

"Hang on a minute. My stomach's not feeling so good. Sorry, I don't mean to be a burden to you." Well, she wasn't the only human here who got motion sick from flash stepping. There were times Byakuya had told Jushiro he's had to flash step with Alison. Even mentioning a few times, the woman had thrown up on him.

"It's alright. Alison's the same way. Captain Kuchiki's told me he's had to flash step with her and she gets ill every time. We'll just sit out here and let your stomach settle." He walked her over to a bench nearby the restaurant. "Here, take a seat and rest. I take it you're not used to walking."

"Could I have some water please?" She asked him, "And no, I'm not used to walking that much. I have walked some but never that much before."

"Of course. I will be right back." He disappeared from sight, causing her hair to move to the breeze of his flash step. She only had to wait nearly like two minutes when he returned with a glass of ice water. "Here you go," he offered her.

"Thank you," she couldn't get over how kind this man had been to her since they met. She drunk down the water. Then about 15 minutes later her stomach settled down.

"Feel better?" Jushiro asked her.

"Much better, thanks for asking." She noticed the building she was sitting in front of. It was rather beautiful with flowers of all different colors out in front of it. "Is that the restaurant? It's so beautiful."

He smiled once more. "It is. They have recently added more to the menu thanks to our human friends. Are you ready to see the inside?" he asked as he stood and offered his hand to her. "I should warn you, it has a very Japanese feel to it."

She took his hand and they went inside and took a look around. The two sat down to order something to eat.
 

CiCi

[font=Satisfy]Obsession: Watanuki Kimihiro and Izu
1,508
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  • Age 31
  • Seen Nov 24, 2023
I don't know anything about Bleach aside from the fact that the opening and ending songs are really good. xD Sorry I can't be more help there.

As for me, I've got a lot of things that I'm working on, some original and some fanfic. Figure I'd put a Pokemon excerpt up here, though, since... Well, obviously.

It was this night that Jun knew he was doing the right thing. After all had calmed and Kouki went home for the night, Jun needed to get ready for bed. He was too excited to sleep, though. Which was nothing new but tonight he had the adrenaline of holding his new fake I.D. His heel bounced against his mattress as he sat and looked at the Trainer I.D. in the light of his lamp. It looked so real. He compared it to ones online with his phone and it was impossible to tell that Jun's was fake. With it and the Poke Balls at the bottom of his backpack, his future as a trainer was set.
 

v_n_x_1oo

Cord
1
Posts
3
Years
Hey this is a story plot for any new rom hacker out there!

Here's the back story team burst/prism/zye want to take over the world so they go to the biggest radio tower in the evirdrevo city. And control the mind of pokemon making the corrupt and drived to evil
~by NecroticHelm

Also name for rom hack can be~ Pokemon Overdrive
 

CiCi

[font=Satisfy]Obsession: Watanuki Kimihiro and Izu
1,508
Posts
4
Years
  • Age 31
  • Seen Nov 24, 2023
Inappropriate thread revival? Don't mind if I take the opportunity to post my writing, back-to-back pretty much, a year apart from one another! And hopefully not get in trouble for doing so :D I dunno if my writing has really changed all too much from back then, aside from some refining here and there, but who knows. Maybe other people see something that I just don't. Anyway, enjoy a little Homestuck!

Tawny sighs hard, leaning back into her seat. Tavros did warn her that he would be a bit of a bastard. But he also mentioned that he's pretty self-absorbed. If she could play off of that somehow… One thought does pop into her mind, but it goes so far against everything she's been conditioned to know and think and feel that it seems impossible to do. At the same time, it calls to her. It calls to her in a way that would only happen in these exact circumstances, where she's so far from home that no one would ever know what she's about to do, except her and Eridan. And possibly the rest of the trolls, depending on how big Eridan's mouth is.
 
18
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  • Age 32
  • Uk
  • Seen Aug 5, 2020
From Galar's Darkest Hour

Leon threw the Ultra Ball at Eternatus and took a few steps back. Victor held his breath and Hop cheered as the dragon was captured. As the Ball wobbled, Victor held his breath. Seconds passed and Leon gestured to Charizard who shielded the pair. An ear-splitting explosion blasted out from the ball, breaking it.

Leon had been caught in the explosion. "No, Leon!" Victor yelled as he uncovered his eyes. The Champion was knocked down and laid motionless in a pool of his own blood. Leon struggled to breath as he attempted to look at Eternatus. As if he would get back up and face the beast again. But he would be unable to now. Victor and Hop ran to Leon, both fearful. He was unbeatable, yet he had been knocked down.
 
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  • Age 33
  • Seen Nov 26, 2020
Great reading on this thread! It's been a lot of fun going through the posts here. I'm a newbie writer myself, and struggle with many language errors, particularly run-on sentences. That's always been my style of writing. I try to cram a lot into just one sentence, which results in many of my sentences being almost of paragraph length. I've been trying to work on this issue by adding variety to my sentences, alternating longish sentences with short ones and also playing around with active and passive voices. I've come across this great free writing checker that has helped me a lot with this particular issue. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm definitely improving as a writer, thanks to help from my patient friends and this tool as well.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Bay

6,383
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17
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Great reading on this thread! It's been a lot of fun going through the posts here. I'm a newbie writer myself, and struggle with many language errors, particularly run-on sentences. That's always been my style of writing. I try to cram a lot into just one sentence, which results in many of my sentences being almost of paragraph length. I've been trying to work on this issue by adding variety to my sentences, alternating longish sentences with short ones and also playing around with active and passive voices. I've come across this great free writing checker that has helped me a lot with this particular issue. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm definitely improving as a writer, thanks to help from my patient friends and this tool as well.

Hello and welcome to the forums! I've noticed you've been posting in this section and it's great you're trying to get yourself out there and responding to threads! However this section doesn't allow links with some exceptions (like linking writing resources in the Writing Resources thread). Your link directs to a plagiarism checking site, which is something we don't usually allow.

Also this thread is to preview an excerpt/snippet of your writing, whether it's an in progress work you already posted or something new. Hope this makes sense!
 

Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.
1,225
Posts
15
Years
It's been a while since I had the energy to properly write, but now I seem to be back for the better.

Here's an excerpt from the upcoming chapter of Sabres in the Sandstone:
The Weavile dashed across the sandstone slabs, taking cues from the vibrations to turn around and slip away from Cobalion's charges and stomps every time the oryx came closer. Still, even between buffs and bleats Cobalion did not give her enough room to turn around and charge up her own attacks.

The Weavile heard her Trainer calling for her. In the corner of her eye she saw him making a gesture and pointing to one of the nearby sandstone pillars, so there she went. As she circled around she saw Xatu try to blast Cobalion away with a few air blades; at the third or so the oryx built up some elemental energy, stomped on the ground and sent three cracked slabs up from the ground and in Xatu's general direction, forcing the bird to fly up.

Seeing her chance, Rei stretched her claws before her and breathed in hard. Quickly she built up Ice energy necessary for her attack – but she stashed a bit of it away, just in case. Her eyes trained on her mark, she breathed an Ice Beam straight at Cobalion's hind legs as the oryx was turning to face her; taken by surprise Cobalion instinctively reared up to jump, leaving his hind legs vulnerable and soon cast in a small lump of ice as the beam hit.

Instantly losing balance, Cobalion fell forwards and was left struggling to break free.
 
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