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[Pokémon] Masks Within Masks [M]

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
So Colson and Seamus are brothers, huh? Seamus having a DUI does make me want to know why a professor would be driving drunk. Curious also if there will come an opportunity that Seven will do that "trade" with Colson.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
The officers rose as one and made for the door in a fluid double column. Bruno followed behind Arkus and nearly bumped into another officer. With a murmured apology, Bruno hurried out of the room.

Arkus guest starring in this fic too? Haha

"As for our final problem, now the White Knights have vanished. No more press conferences, no more tours of their public offices. They've tightened up their ranks, and none of our spies are getting the slightest glimpse of what they're up to. We're completely blind."

Something tells me the White Knights will make a return soon.

Bruno still can't stop thinking of Seven, huh? As much as I love that slow burn romance, I hope there would be some kind of interaction between the two again.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
I do like some bits of personality you gave to Set, like when the Haunter takes great pleasure in using Hypnosis and Dream Eater. I also find it kinda cute Kenny is a Star Wars fan, heh. I can see why you have Seven lose there to make her have some self doubt how she'll be able to handle the upcoming prison heist. Looks like this will be tougher than the last out at the warehouse.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Finally Seven and Bruno get a proper chat, which was cute. "even among countless stars, it burns so brightly..." Way to be poetic there, Bruno heh. And the part where he realizes why Seven was hesitant towards him, I wanna say yup that's exactly why.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
As Set floated away with Thoth, the haunter chuckled to himself. The pokemon, though it looked, talked, and acted like a human, couldn't hide her secrets from him. The torment and self-doubt emanating from her tasted like sugar crystals wafting on the wind. He flapped his tongue in the air as she turned towards the door, getting one last taste of her anguish before he went to his mission.

I like the "tasted like sugar crystals wafting on the wind" description there.

I enjoyed Set and Thoth's banter this chapter, Thoth's more serious personality works in line with Set's more unpredictable nature. Thoth's reaction to Set getting the guard's pants was the most amusing. Looking forward to more of the prison break in!
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
I like the part where Seven was hallucinating about her professor mentioning she wants freedom like a frog in a pond. Usually one would use birds flying for freedom, I don't see that used with frogs too often.

The part where she was able to pass through the guards was a cool scene, though a part of me wonders if you can add a bit more reaction to the Pokemon before Seven was able to recall them. Otherwise, things seem to be going fine so far for her though I believe she'll face other obstacles soon.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Hax really doesn't think highly of Thoth, huh. Hopefully Thoth can prove him wrong. =p And not surprising Team Rocket are up in arms with the White Knights if those guys have beaten their grunts to death. Interested in more development of their conflict.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Set's definition of fun is on the odd side, especially when it comes to toilets. I admit a part of me wasn't unsure of the toilet jokes due to you doing toilet humor in SoulSwitch's last chapter too, but huh looks like there is going to be something involving flushing toilets that is important, hmm. Also I like that Set was humored over being tricked with using Destiny Bond.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
However, the connection between the two systems remain. By using the emergency systems in reverse, I can divert the excess water in the old sewer into the new one, letting you escape through the old sewers. Tell Hax that I'm not a piece of garbage, will you? Oh wait, he's dead."

I admit, I chuckled at that part. Blacksmith killing Hax was a cool scene, though.

Seven punching the bars in her true Zoroark form was a risky move with all those Team Rocket grunts, but seems to work in her favor in the end. Looks like this arc is about to wrap up soon!
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Interesting use of Pain Split there, Set was indeed was grateful for that heh. So Thoth doesn't know Steven's true identity. His theory of a sixth Pokemon is close but also so far. I wonder how he and the other Pokemon will react to Giovanni's secret.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
I take it only Bruno noticed Seven's true appearance when everyone was watching the video? I was about to say he probably should let Peter know if that's the case, but then again he probably don't want Seven to get in trouble.

Bayron the elder Lucario, huh? I swear, this is like the third time you named a character after me, hahaha. But anyways, that's nice of him to give Bruno a chance to convince Seven to seek asylum. I have a feeling it won't be as easy as Bruno thought it would be, though. Also, interesting Lucario has some influence over this city's police force there.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Fisher's "Good pratice at pretending to be human" line at Seven there, geez way to be smooth there. At least he was considered if Seven were to blow her cover while they were out.

Looks like Seven is a bit conflicted whether to be a Pokemon or still continued her work as a Rocket. Giovanni's reaction should be interesting.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
"If at any point you take a step in any direction, the walls come back up." The Adin Also, this remote activates the collar around your neck. It can either give you a powerful electric shock, or I can inject you with a powerful anesthetic." His grin widened. "There's also a variant that explodes, but I decided that was unnecessary."

Bolded I think is a typo?

So, Bruno in the middle of a set up I expected that to happen. Seven pulling off the "let's play a game" scenario similar to a horror game (though a tamer version of that)? Less so. Bruno's soul must have been crushed after going through that ordeal, although I'm unsure what to make of Seven's behavior there yet.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Ok, so Seven did feel some reluctance when with Bruno last chapter. I admit to forgetting the professor used the same tactics there. Now, the backstory there oh dear those poor Zorua. = < Seven being the remaining test subject is kinda cliche in that that always happen whenever this situation pops up in fiction, but I'm still interested how Seven finding all this out will affect her now.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Some of the info concering Lucario and aura is cool, but dear over Bruno's situation there. Hopefully it doesn't have to come putting Lucario down. There's also that letter that sounds a bit worrisome, but it could also be false alarm and safe. Peter might have a long several hours with those two Lucario heh.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Bruno seems to still trying to get himself together, but probably it won't last much longer if Seven keeps this charade up. To Bruno she may seem proud of herself showing that video to him, but I'm convinced she has lingering doubts of how she'll feel when Bruno finally breaks.
 
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Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Pokemon having Chatot be their translators I think is a cool idea and makes sense. Everyone in the White Knights being Pokemon explains why they've been going against Team Rocket. Subject Nine's appearance, tho. I thought Subject Nine is gone due to that journal entry mentioning they only have a day left to live, seems that isn't the case. I feel Subject Nine's foreshadowing should have happened much earlier in the story, like during the warehouse incident. There's a chance though you probably left some subtle clues there and I need to check back on those earlier chapters.
 

Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
I admit the ending there seems abrupt, with last chapter Bruno and Seven going to work together and then this chapter you have Preston grabbed him. This could still work if next chapter showcases Bruno and Seven working together and what happened before that alarm, but it's your call how you want certain events be shown and such.
 
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Bay

6,385
Posts
17
Years
Oh ok yeah the slight change back in Ch 39 does makes the events unfolding more sense. I thought you could've made Seven react more when Giovanni mentions they won't go save Bruno. Bringing Ditto has a lot of potential of what Seven can do with it, and I think I'll like the upgraded Thoth as much as the original heh.
 
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