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  #1826    
Old December 27th, 2011 (12:25 AM).
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Esper Esper is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keiran777 View Post
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/24/us/beliefs-salvation-army-hears-dissent-over-gay-views.html

Supporting hate like that as a charity just seems self-defeating to me.
I'm glad I don't ever donate to the Salvation Army. I just hate when I learn that yet another organization out there is quietly anti-LGBT. I mean, it's up to each of us to look into the people we give our money to, but it ought to be easier to find these things out.
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  #1827    
Old December 27th, 2011 (4:34 AM).
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Patatas Fritas Patatas Fritas is offline
bajo el mismo sol ღ
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keiran777 View Post
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/24/us/beliefs-salvation-army-hears-dissent-over-gay-views.html

Supporting hate like that as a charity just seems self-defeating to me.
I've never liked the Salvation Army's views and beliefs, but this is just sickening - That man could have died all because they were too bigoted to give the couple a room because they were homosexual, it honestly makes me feel a little ill. I'm hoping that somethings done about this!
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  #1828    
Old December 27th, 2011 (6:38 AM).
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With all this discussion about less-used terms, I'll let everyone know: I'm demisexual, and I'm also pansexual-homoromantic. Meaning I can be romantically attracted to anyone with a female gender identity, and I can be sexually attracted to the body of anyone I'm in love with (but no one else) as long as that person has a female gender identity. n3n I hope that makes sense.
I should have known this earlier since the first time I had sexual attraction was about . . . fourteen and the first time I was "horny" was seventeen but hey, I'm a little clueless. xD
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear View Post
It's interesting there's that split between romantic and sexual in those terms. Of course they're not the same (romantic being the desire to have a deep emotional love experience and sexual being GREATGOOGLYMOOGLY.)

But couldn't that lack of sexual attraction interfere with the romantic relationship later on?

Not that a relationship survives on the couple's frequency of sexual encounters, but.... here, hypothetical situation:

Heterosexual Heidi and Heteroromantic Rob get into a relationship.
Everything goes great for Heidi and Rob for a while.... walks on the beach, cute facebook messages, meals taken with beautiful sunlight and a picnic basket or a candlelight table at the fanciest restaurant in town.... but then comes that day Heterosexual Heidi starts to get a little extra flirtatious.
What does Heteroromantic Rob do, feeling no sexual attraction to Heidi, but purely romantic?

Not that heteroromantics don't proceed with sexual relationships and enjoy themselves during, but I guess the question is: Does a romantic relationship need mutual sexual attraction?

or, better yet:

Explain to me more about the concept of a -romantic.

I'm very interested.
I have had a similar situation to this . . . two or three times out of the four relationships I've been in. In my second relationship, I didn't even know about my own discomfort so I sort of "stomached it" and it soured the relationship I think.
In my third relationship, she wanted to have sex but dropped it pretty quick when I said I wasn't ready.
In my fourth relationship, which I'm still in, I brushed her off several times and later found out that I was causing her a lot of pain, which I still feel bad about. Dx But now I've gotten to a point where we're close enough and I actually enjoy it for the first time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
What do you think of the stereotypes that are attached to your sexuality/identity (gay/bi/trans/whatever)? Which one of them, if any, do you fit the best? Do you ever conform to them intentionally, or go out of your way to defy them?

First, lemme say I consider myself trans and pansexual. I try my best to just be me and not worry about whether what I do matches or goes against stereotypes. Unlike some stereotypes of trans people I'm not interested in having surgery to change my genitalia (I'm never going to get over how weird it is to type "my genitalia"), nor am I totally concerned with "passing" all the time. Quite often if you saw me you might think I was a guy. Maybe you'd think I was gay, or just a non-traditional guy, but you might all the same. I don't know what kinds of stereotypes there are of pansexual people specifically, but when it comes to the idea of someone who's attracted to more than one gender being promiscuous and always horny that isn't me.

I do, unfortunately, have a bit of that stereotype about trans girls who go overboard when it comes to clothes and my eyes naturally wander to the girly, frilly, pink things in a store, although I have enough sense/self-control to keep my wardrobe mostly tasteful. Of course as I write that I realize I'm wearing a pink polka dotted top right now. xD
Instead of bothering to type my own whole thing, I'm gonna say "same" on all the trans things, only I generally want to pass.

Sorry for not responding to the later stuff. I really liked the older discussions and I don't have a lot of computer time right now. x3x Still technically on my Christmas trip thingie.
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  #1829    
Old December 27th, 2011 (6:56 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keiran777 View Post
Well, unless he has been lying to heterosexual Heidi, they have been expecting this issue to come up sometime and heteroromantic Rob will either have to "help" her with her needs, let her have sex with other men or end the relationship. Most will go for the first option, as any -romantic getting involved with a -sexual is prepared for that, otherwise they would date a fellow -romantic.

I mean, it's not like there aren't -sexual people not really interested in sex either. :X

-Here- you can read about a recent struggle with someones mixed relationship.

If you're really curious, you should just peruse that forum. :P
I can how the first option can work, but letting a partner have sex with other people doesn't. At least not in my mind.

I just don't think an open relationship or polygamy is the right answer to any sexual frustration- love can't exist in those kinds of relationships. At least I wouldn't be able to be in one of them and feel loved. :/

Heterosexual Heidi is certainly not thinking about how much she loves and adores Heteroromantic Rob when she's rolling around with another man.

Being just a -romantic must be awful, especially if you're repulsed by sex like QuilavaKing mentioned. Sex is a pretty important part in a romantic relationship, and it could lead to a lot of misunderstandings with someone in a relationship with an asexual.
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  #1830    
Old December 27th, 2011 (7:50 AM).
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    Hello, I wonder if I may be able to join?
    I am 100% bisexual, demisexual and homoromantic , meaning I do have an attraction to guys and girls alike, however only feel sexual for guys and very special once whom I feel really strongly about. Yes, it's a bit confusing... Pokemon is sort of my way to get away from the land of real life, so that is why I am also a proud nerd.

    I agree with Kiyoshi the Polar Bear as I, if in that situation would not feel loved at all.
    Sex is important for many different reasons, however if Rob feels alright ( I highly doubt it though) with Heidi having sex with other men, there is no reason why it should not work. However, I also agree than Heidi will not be thinking about Rob, making this a big problem.

    The Salvation Army are horrible, thoughtless people. Before I looked a little deeper, I thought they were an organization to help people, not just the people whom were in a relationship or so on that they believed in. Everyone has a different belief, I agree, however this should not limit the help they give, as they are Christians and even state in their website :We believe in openly sharing our faith and the good news of God's love for everyone, helping individuals to develop and grow in their own personal relationship with God, demonstrating a practical concern for all and speaking out against social injustice.
    Concern for all? Really? I don't think so at all!

    That is the end of my ramble for today, and I hope to join this group if possible.
      #1831    
    Old December 27th, 2011 (12:11 PM).
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear View Post

    Being just a -romantic must be awful, especially if you're repulsed by sex like QuilavaKing mentioned. Sex is a pretty important part in a romantic relationship, and it could lead to a lot of misunderstandings with someone in a relationship with an asexual.
    Well, not necessarily. It might make things a little more difficult if you're in a relationship with someone who's not, but I've actually seen asexuals be fairly elitist about it. As in, they think they're above people who do want to have sex. (Kinda like sheldon cooper, but not quite as insane. lol) So, I think most of them are more or less okay with it.
      #1832    
    Old December 27th, 2011 (3:28 PM).
    Shining Raichu's Avatar
    Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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    Argh sorry I've been terrible lately, SO BUSY. Anyway, here goes:

    ***

    Hey there Delcatty123, of course you can join! I'll add you to the list immediately, it's nice to meet you :)

    ***

    Does a romantic relationship need mutual sexual attraction?

    I can't speak for all romantic relationships, but any romantic relationship in which I'm involved would definitely need mutual sexual attraction. Sexually, it's important for me that I enjoy myself and that my partner also enjoys himself and that both of us are left satisfied. I could not date an asexual person, because even if he were willing to 'help me out' with my urges, knowing that he wasn't experiencing any similar enjoyment would really kill the mood. It would just feel very one-sided, and I don't like that.

    I think feeling like that would affect the intimacy in our relationship, because for people who are interested in sex it is a vital part of intimacy in a relationship. If I cared about it and he didn't, it's just not a balanced relationship.

    Another way to interpret that question is that both of us are sexually interested but one of us is simply not attracted to the other. In that case, why are they together in the first place? :P

    ***

    The Salvation Army are such freaking douchebags. It reminds me a lot of that blog someone posted a few pages back entitled "I'm Christian... unless you're gay". I think it's our responsiblity to circulate that as wide as we can and make sure The Salvation Army gets as little money as possible.

    ***

    Also, that list of terms looks great :) if someone wants to put it all together officially and send it to me or post it here in completion then I'll make it a priority to get to re-doing the original post lol
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      #1833    
    Old December 29th, 2011 (5:38 AM). Edited December 29th, 2011 by Railgun.
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    Railgun Railgun is offline
    Ever Day Another New Adventure
       
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      Is it normal for someone in there 80s to judge about me wanting a sex change? My 85 yr old aunt has been fussing since July to the point I want to punch her. Yet my granda understands and is the same age so it's odd
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        #1834    
      Old December 29th, 2011 (6:02 AM).
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      Patatas Fritas Patatas Fritas is offline
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      It's perfectly natural, some people are just more understanding/accepting than others, your Grandmother and Aunt just have different views on the matter, it's more likely someone at that age wouldn't accept it because when they were growing up LGBTetc issues where much more frowned upon and not spoken about.
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        #1835    
      Old December 29th, 2011 (6:12 AM).
      Shining Raichu's Avatar
      Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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      Yeah Ashley, it's completely normal. Older people have a tendency to be harsher on LGBT topics. But just because it's normal, doesn't make it in any way excusable. I personally accept age or upbringing as reasons for bigotry, but not as excuses. There is no excuse, anybody with a brain has the power to overcome what they were taught as children.
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        #1836    
      Old December 29th, 2011 (7:35 AM).
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      Delcatty123 Delcatty123 is offline
         
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        Ashley, don't worry about it, it's completely natural. Back in her day , sex change was probably scandalous and looked down at, she's just going to need a bit of time to adjust. However I agree with Shining Raichu, and it's not acceptable but I believe she just needs some time.
          #1837    
        Old December 29th, 2011 (9:59 PM).
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        Alice Alice is offline
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        y u no post moar?


        I just stumbled across this video, and at first I thought it'd be a terrible idea to use a video of some complete stranger to tell your parents that you're gay, but he did do a really good job making the video, and he definitely says a lot of important things that the kid would never be able to, so it actually might help the parent accept it. What do you guys think?
          #1838    
        Old December 30th, 2011 (6:30 AM).
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        Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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        Davey Wavey is so amazing, but he's probably not the person I'd want to come out on my behalf :P. As much as I love him, he fits too many of the gay stereotypes to be applicable with my coming out. If that's how I'd done it, I think it would have made it worse... "You're like HIM?!" etc. Especially since they'd then look at his other videos and see that he does most of them shirtless :P

        Though the idea of having somebody come out for you would be great. You wouldn't even have to be there for your own coming out! It'd take a lot of the pressure off a nerve-wracking situation.
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          #1839    
        Old December 30th, 2011 (11:56 AM).
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
        Davey Wavey is so amazing, but he's probably not the person I'd want to come out on my behalf :P. As much as I love him, he fits too many of the gay stereotypes to be applicable with my coming out. If that's how I'd done it, I think it would have made it worse... "You're like HIM?!" etc. Especially since they'd then look at his other videos and see that he does most of them shirtless :P

        Though the idea of having somebody come out for you would be great. You wouldn't even have to be there for your own coming out! It'd take a lot of the pressure off a nerve-wracking situation.
        He is pretty funny, if you can stop staring long enough to listen to what he's saying. lol
          #1840    
        Old December 30th, 2011 (8:20 PM).
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          A little behind on the discussion...
          but I think for me, mutual sexual attraction is a must for a relationship.

          Oh, my date was very nice yesterday btw. He was sooooooo tall; and yes, I am obsessed with taller guys. He is absolutely perfect in every way (so far), I hope the feeling is mutual, haha. Unfortunately, I have to wait a couple of weeks to see him again. I just have to take things very very slowly so that I don't mess this up :)

          Okay, relating this back to the question...
          I don't place restrictions on sexual appeal; I just know if am or if I am not attracted. So the same goes with age, I only date people who I am sexually attracted to. This guy is about 12 years older, but it's not as if I only date to satiate an age requirement; I only do so because I happen to be attracted, that also includes the attraction to the mature personality. So, sexual attraction and personality attraction are both musts.
            #1841    
          Old December 30th, 2011 (9:37 PM).
          Magdalena~'s Avatar
          Magdalena~ Magdalena~ is offline
          Feel the hnnnnggg
             
            Join Date: Dec 2011
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            Back from my vacation y'all! ^_^ Sorry for making everyone miss me so much. n3n
            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Delcatty123 View Post
            Hello, I wonder if I may be able to join?
            I am 100% bisexual, demisexual and homoromantic , meaning I do have an attraction to guys and girls alike, however only feel sexual for guys and very special once whom I feel really strongly about.
            Hey that sounds like me. :3 Welcome to the club! ^_^

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by AshleyKetchum View Post
            Is it normal for someone in there 80s to judge about me wanting a sex change? My 85 yr old aunt has been fussing since July to the point I want to punch her. Yet my granda understands and is the same age so it's odd
            It's normal for absolutely anyone to judge transitioners. Sorry. 3: It's really annoying but I guess it's one of two things really:
            1.) She will adjust at some point by getting the hell over herself.
            2.) She will never get over it and at least that way you can just ignore her instead of wasting your time.

            Good luck and I hope everything ends out okay. Unfortunately it's not uncommon for situations like these to never resolve themselves but please stay positive anyway.
            Quote:
            Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
            I just stumbled across this video, and at first I thought it'd be a terrible idea to use a video of some complete stranger to tell your parents that you're gay, but he did do a really good job making the video, and he definitely says a lot of important things that the kid would never be able to, so it actually might help the parent accept it. What do you guys think?
            I would have liked to do that myself. I wonder if there's someone who does that for trans people?
            I ended up giving my mother a letter, which turns out to be probably the worst reasonable thing I could have done, but it could certainly work for some people. There are just so many different ways of coming out. You have to really know your parents and what would suit them best.
            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
            Also, that list of terms looks great :) if someone wants to put it all together officially and send it to me or post it here in completion then I'll make it a priority to get to re-doing the original post lol
            Has this been done yet? I think Jared was doing it, but if not, I'd be glad to do it. ^_^
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            #167: Spinarak - The String Spit Pokémon
            Bug/Poison ~ Bug eggs
            1'08" ~ 18.7lbs ~ 50/50

            It lies still in the same pose for days in its web,
            waiting for its unsuspecting prey to wander close.

            Abilities: Swarm or Insomnia or Sniper
            Moves: String Shot, Scary Face, Shadow Sneak, Pin Missile
            Locations: Routes 2, 30, 31, 37 (night)
            Cry
            Other names:

            jp: イトマル (Itomaru)
            de: Webarak
            fr: Mimigal
            ko: 페이검 (Pe'igǒm)
              #1842    
            Old January 1st, 2012 (10:52 AM).
            Charlie Kelly Charlie Kelly is offline
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
              He is pretty funny, if you can stop staring long enough to listen to what he's saying. lol
              Oh god I can't stop watching these now. I can't breathe I'm laughing so much at this bathhouse one.

              *Don't have anything for the conversation at the moment, will get back to you guys after I watch all these videos at least 4 times.
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                #1843    
              Old January 2nd, 2012 (11:59 AM).
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              Esper Esper is offline
               
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Magdalena~ View Post
              It's normal for absolutely anyone to judge transitioners.
              I'm gonna quibble here, but it's not normal, just common. When you use a word like 'normal' you might make it sound like it's okay in some way, like in a "oh, people can't help it" way or something like that. I know that some people have trouble helping their thoughts and feelings and all that, but I'm with Andy in feeling that people have brains so they can learn to be better than that.
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                #1844    
              Old January 2nd, 2012 (7:56 PM).
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              Nakuzami Nakuzami is online now
               
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Keiran777 View Post
              http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/24/us/beliefs-salvation-army-hears-dissent-over-gay-views.html

              Supporting hate like that as a charity just seems self-defeating to me.
              . . . It also said that this happened twenty years ago, lol. Well, I guess it doesn't surprise me all that much, seeing as Salvation Army started out as a religious charity and whatnot (at least, it was started by religious people. Who knew my Social Studies class would come in handy? :D) but it's still annoying, and annoying is an incredible understatement, that they hold to these anti-gay beliefs and everything.

              Also, I think the listing of the various sexualities and everything is a great idea.

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
              The Salvation Army are such freaking douchebags. It reminds me a lot of that blog someone posted a few pages back entitled "I'm Christian... unless you're gay". I think it's our responsiblity to circulate that as wide as we can and make sure The Salvation Army gets as little money as possible.
              Yay, glad I was remembered, even if it was as "somebody!"

              I would post more, but I . . . kinda can't right now, have to get to bed since school starts again tomorrow (son of a . . .) !!
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                #1845    
              Old January 3rd, 2012 (1:25 AM).
              Magdalena~'s Avatar
              Magdalena~ Magdalena~ is offline
              Feel the hnnnnggg
                 
                Join Date: Dec 2011
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                Hnurrrrrr we need more talking stuff.

                Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                Sorry idk my effort rate is low because tired. ;p;
                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
                I'm gonna quibble here, but it's not normal, just common. When you use a word like 'normal' you might make it sound like it's okay in some way, like in a "oh, people can't help it" way or something like that. I know that some people have trouble helping their thoughts and feelings and all that, but I'm with Andy in feeling that people have brains so they can learn to be better than that.
                Normal and okay are not the same thing. Normal just means something is so common that it is expected. At least the way I use it, but yeah obv I don't think it's okay to judge transitioners of course~
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                #167: Spinarak - The String Spit Pokémon
                Bug/Poison ~ Bug eggs
                1'08" ~ 18.7lbs ~ 50/50

                It lies still in the same pose for days in its web,
                waiting for its unsuspecting prey to wander close.

                Abilities: Swarm or Insomnia or Sniper
                Moves: String Shot, Scary Face, Shadow Sneak, Pin Missile
                Locations: Routes 2, 30, 31, 37 (night)
                Cry
                Other names:

                jp: イトマル (Itomaru)
                de: Webarak
                fr: Mimigal
                ko: 페이검 (Pe'igǒm)
                  #1846    
                Old January 4th, 2012 (5:14 AM).
                Shining Raichu's Avatar
                Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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                Ugh sorry guys I've been terrible lately. I've had an uber-insanely busy few days, and then I have tomorrow off followed by three more insanely busy days haha. Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

                Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                It's funny that I should rejoin the conversation on this question, because just tonight on Facebook I got this random private message from somebody I only know as a customer at work and 'that guy I used to see at school who was a few years above me'. The message said (and I quote): "
                Just a quick question are you gay, sounds random but yeah dont mean to be rude".

                This is insanely awkward for a few reasons: firstly, I barely know the guy. We've had a few quick conversations at my liquor store and nothing more. Secondly, he just came out of the closet himself recently and I have zero interest in him if that's where he was going with this line of questioning. And finally, if he picked it up from the few encounters we've had, then there must be something fundamentally or visually homosexual about me that I didn't think was there. While this isn't necessary all that important since I have no shame in being gay, I kind of like that it's not completely obvious when you first meet me because it gives me the option of deciding whether or not it's OK for somebody to know.
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                  #1847    
                Old January 4th, 2012 (5:19 AM).
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                Jubilation Jubilation is online now
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                  Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                  Not really, and if they do, it's only because they're curious. Like my friend Rhys recently asked about gay men being size queens and it wasn't offensive because I knew his was only curious. And my biffle Sarah, when I came out to her she had aton of questions.
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                    #1848    
                  Old January 4th, 2012 (6:33 AM).
                  -Jared-'s Avatar
                  -Jared- -Jared- is offline
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                  Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                  I had someone in my wood shop class in High School ask me a few times if I was gay. I wasn't ready at the time to admit it, so I said no, but he kept asking because he just couldn't believe the idea that a straight guy hadn't ever had a girlfriend by the time he was a senior. -__-


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                    #1849    
                  Old January 4th, 2012 (8:33 AM).
                  Liliana Vess Liliana Vess is offline
                   
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                  Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                  Not really, I'm usually quite open minded to questions. Like Jubilation said it's just curiosity and theres no harm in that.
                  Although when I first came out to one of my friends they started asking about top and bottom and a whole bunch of other sex orientated questions which I think was a bit too far seeing as I'd just told him I was gay xD
                    #1850    
                  Old January 4th, 2012 (2:45 PM).
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                    Do people ever ask you questions about your sexual orientation 'n' stuff that you find to be awkward or going too far?

                    I've had this happen too often. A female friend will try to get me to sleep with them, and when I say I'm not interested, they tend to ask if viagra would change that, like it's a cure or something. Then they'll never speak to me again as if I embarrassed them. -_- So now I just tell female friends that I am gay.
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