• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.

[Pokémon] Effects of a Brief Therapy

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
It's been two years since the previous champion: Wallace has been dethroned. However, the new champion had decided that the idea of waiting in a room for challengers to come and face him would not be great for them in the long run.

So he and his friends decided to spend all their hard-earned money on a mansion near Mauville City for relaxation and reflection, which in turn allowed Steven to take place as champion until someone else's ambitions would overpower his.

Part I: First Time at a Hospital?
The windy grass surrounding Mauville was being treaded on by a lone Gardevoir, who had a thin, brown cloak wrapped around them. The morning sun caused their orange eyes to shine bright enough for nearby people to notice the abnormality.

They were on their way to Mauville, for any reason pertaining to such a massive city, of course.
"Hey lady?" Gardevoir stopped and looked to see a Mightyeana and a Breloom staring at them; their grins unbecoming of anyone with a modicum of maturity. "You shouldn't be wandering around alone. How 'bout you tag along with us, huh?"

"Hmf." Gardevoir didn't like that one bit, and threw off their cloak, revealing the knife held in their right hand.
"What the?!" Breloom shouted as his friend gasped. The presence of a psycho with a knife was already causing them to back up in terror.

"I'm not a lady, you morons!" Gardevoir shouted at them smugly, while feeling the knife's blade. "Do you have any more assumptions to make about me?"

"Yeah!" Mightyeana responded. "You don't have the guts to try and stab us!"

Gardevoir chuckled slightly. "Is that so? Well… you'll see." And with that, he ran forward, knife in hand.

Luckily, that was all it took for the two miscreants to turn around and run away, screaming.
Gardevoir didn't pursue, and instead turned back to Mauville, leaving his cloak on the ground.

It took a while since he didn't visit much, but he found his way to the city's hospital.
The sliding doors made way for Gardevoir to talk to the receptionist Lucario, who was busy reading a book. He looked up for a second, "Hi there, how can I help you?" then went back to reading his book.

"I've uhh…" Gardevoir started slowly, leaning on the counter while sluggishly processing an answer. "...got an appointment this morning. The name's Frost." He placed a paper card on the desk, which the receptionist read briefly.

"You're carrying an illegal object on you. Mind giving it here?" Reluctantly, Frost handed his knife over.
Lucario pointed a thumb at the hallway behind him. "Room 118, on the right."

"Thanks." Frost said dryly, before walking down the hallway and knocking on a door.

"Come in!" And so he did. The doctor in question was a Kecleon. "Have a seat, please. I'll be with you in a moment." She said, grabbing a sliding table and adding several instruments to it.

Frost casually walked over and sat on those tables that are in these kinda of rooms. Anyone could tell from his disinterested expression that he didn't want to be here.

"So… what seems to be the problem?" Kecleon asked, using a stethoscope to (seemingly)check Frost's heartbeat.

"I'm not exactly sure myself, but I've been having pain in the chest and I've occasionally been feeling dizzy while battling."

Kecleon put the stethoscope back on the sliding table. "I'm gonna need to examine your chest, hold still for a second, please." She rolled her swivel chair over to Frost's left, then his right. Then she gasped.

"What?" Frost asked, slightly worried.

"When did this this get here?" She demanded, indicating the horizontal scratch on the left side of Frost's heart.
It wasn't just any old scratch, either. It was indented a few millimeters in his heart and reached all the way to his skin.

"Oh, this?" He said, casually rubbing the scratch with his left hand, which Kecleon quickly moved away. "I got it from a battle about two years ago."

Though the quiet shock of Kecleon was only brief, it was obvious that something was wrong. "No... you're…"

"...what? What is it?" Frost said, getting increasingly nervous as he leaned forward. "C'mon, spit it out!"

"You're dying." The doctor said.

The Gardevoir paused. He was still processing what was just said to him. "Wh… what?" Was it really true? "After everything I've ever been through… stopping Kyogre… and Steven… I'm going to die to a scratch?!"

Kecleon shook her head. "No, not quite. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put it so simply. If I may explain, it's not that you're dying, but your lifespan has been shortened. By years or decades, we don't exactly know. Your heart could've been mended if you sought treatment quickly, but… there's not much I can do now."

Frost was still breathing heavily. A mix of emotions was swirling in him, and he didn't know what to feel. Take it out on someone? Tell them they're wrong? Or just ignore it?
But no. Nothing. There was just silence.

"Listen, there are some things you can do to stay healthy." Kecleon wheeled her chair over to a drawer and unlocked it, revealing multiple small bottles with berries on their labels. She sifts through them until taking one with a crimson berry. "This is medicine made from a Payapa berry. You'll want to take it to lessen the amount of stress on your body." Frost took it without much of a reaction. "And you'll need to stop battling."

That last one didn't sit well with Frost. "I… have to stop battling? But, I've been doing that all my life; what am I supposed to do then?" He asked, burying his face into his small hands.

Kecleon leaned forward in an attempt to get Frost's attention. "Hey, it's alright. Plenty of Pokémon don't need to go battling every second of their lives. Listen, I know someone that can help you."

"Who is it?"

"A friend. You can find him in Room 201 upstairs." The doctor grabbed Frost's hand to move him off the table. "Come on, it's better than waiting for a miracle."

...fine. Frost shuffled off the table and slowly walked to the door. "Be sure to take your medicine every morning, alright?" The doctor reminded him.
"Alright." He sighed and closed the door behind him.

For a while, he just stood there for a while to stare at the carpet.
How did I let this happen? This is all my fault. All… my… fault…
Well, as the doctor said, he shouldn't be waiting for a miracle, so Frost walked over to one of the elevators in the lobby and pressed the button to send it down.
He took a moment to look over at the Lucario at the reception; still reading.

*Ding!*
Simple as that. He went up to the second floor quick enough and found Room 201 only a few steps away.

He knocked on the door. "Is anyone there? Kecleon sen-"
"It's unlocked." Frost took a moment to collect himself, and then entered.
 

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
Part II: A Brief Therapy
There's was a Zoroark with an innocent smile standing next to couch, lawn chair, and a nightstand. "Kecleon send you?" He was a sore thumb in the bleached, white room.

"Yes." Frost answered. He wasn't really in the mood for a whole lot, so he just walked through the white room towards the chairs.

"Perfect. Now…" He grabbed the couch that Frost was about to sit in and pulled it back, leaving him to sit on the simple, but comfortably angled chair. "You can just call me Zoroark. Or Z if you prefer."

"What're you, a teacher?"

Zoroark immediately burst into laughter upon hearing that, to which Frost frowned. If he was sitting on his chair, he would've fell over with how he was laughing. "Haha… Oh, that's good. Now how about you have a seat?" He asked, sitting in his comfy couch.

Frost readily sat on the lawn chair and relaxed himself. "So… I heard you can help me- what are you doing?" Zoroark was grabbed a music player and put it on his nightstand.

"..." He pressed the loop button and then play.



"Uhh, wow. You work in a hospital, and you force your patients to listen to this?" Frost asked, someone perturbed by the choice in music.

Zoroark chuckled slightly, and then grabbed a notebook and pencil from his nightstand. "I'm a therapist. This'll help you relax." He briefly looked up, then begun writing. "Huh, you're kinda muscular for a Gardevoir. How 'bout we start there?"

"What? No, Kecleon sent me here because-"

"I'm just trying to get a feel for your attitude, so try to cooperate with me here." The therapist leaned back in his chair.

Frost sighed, which was the obvious cue that he'd answer. "I prefer fighting with physical attacks."

Now that's another thing he can scribble into the notebook. "Interesting. I assume you didn't have access to a Dawn Stone back then, so that's why you're not a Gallade. Any other reasons?"

Frost was just staring into the ceiling while leaning back in the chair. It was really hard for him to have an attitude when the music was drilling into his head. "Someone picked on me when I was younger."

"Because you were different?"

He sighed. "Yes. She called me names for looking 'feminine' despite being a guy. This harassment went on for years, so… I hid myself from her, tried to become stronger."

Zoroark was making sure to write down all the important details, though Frost was secretly wondering if he was gonna use that information or other purposes. When the Gardevoir looked over, he just whispered: "Go on."

"I only hung out with my two bird friends back then. One day, this fellow came by, saying he was going to challenge the Pokémon League. He asked us if we wanted to join him, so we did." Frost subtly laughed, as if he understood the concept of 'fun'. "We traveled together. We made many friends. We fought all the gym leaders."

"Hold on a second." Zoroark said, putting his notebook back on the nightstand. "Have you defeated the League Champion before?" He looked excited, like a fan meeting his star for the first time.

Frost nodded. "Yeah. Multiple times, in fact. None of us actually wanted to be champions, so we let Steven take our place."

"So you must be very powerful, then? Anyways," He retrieves his notebook to write down some more info. "do you have anything more to say about your physical strength?"

"Yeah, I guess. I…" The Gardevoir paused, as if he was told he wasn't going to live much longer. "In Victory Road, I met her again." He balled up his fists, and for a second it looked like he wanted to start throwing punches. "I hurt her badly. I know Night Slash, and I'm sure that when I used it, it was the most painful feeling she's ever experienced. I…"
Frost raised his hand, and used his psychic powers to shut down the music player. "Wh… what the HELL did you do? Why did I spill my secrets to a nerd like you?!" He jolted upright, and his psychic powers were becoming more obvious.

Zoroark calmly waved his arms to calm Frost down. Not that he could've been threatened by a psychic-type, anyway. "I said I'm trying to understand your attitude. So please, take it easy. I'm sure it was difficult to talk about your past like that, and I apologize."

Frost just glared at Zoroark, breathing heavily. Somehow, he found it within himself to calm down. "Did Kecleon even tell you why I'm here?"

"Hm." The therapist smiled. "No, but you're going to tell me now, aren't you?"

"Are… are you serious?" Zoroark nodded, his smile ever present on his face. "Diagnosis was that my lifespan has been shortened by an injury and if I wanna live longer I gotta stop battling!" Frost just facepalmed at the therapist's lack of professionalism. Somehow, he hasn't thrown his fist into Zoroark's face yet. "Battling was my life. What am I supposed to do now? Just sit around and wait to die?"

Silence. Zoroark simply flipped his notebook to the cover and then literally threw it behind him, garnering some slight cringe from his patient for such carelessness. "Don't fret now, I've got the perfect solution for your problem!" He reaches under the cushion of his couch and pulls out a book, indicating that he didn't have solutions to most other issues.

"Mystery Dungeons & Dragons? What?"

More smiles; they just wouldn't stop. This time he had a hopeful look on his face for Frost to accept the book. "Go on, take it."

"But why?!"

"This is the best I can offer as a substitute for battling. Now, don't just judge a book by its cover! If you apply yourself, you'd love it in no time!"

Frost had enough of this. He told this idiot about his life, and for what? A book for nerds?
He stood up. "I'm going home now."

"Take this with you."
"But-"
"Take it."

"Fine! I will take your stupid book just so you'll shut up about it!" Frost yells, swiping the MD&D book from Zoroark's hand. He sighs, then turns to leave. "Damn nerd."

Zoroark stood up as well to close the door behind Frost. "Oh, and I forgot to mention. Try not to threaten anyone with a knife on the way home."

"How did you-?" Too late, door closed on him. Sigh.



Frost went back down to the lobby, took his knife back, and left to go back to his mansion. Well, not -his- mansion, but his friends'.

Outside of the city, the Mightyena and Breloom were hanging out again. They didn't notice Frost, until he made sure to say "Good day, gentlemen." as he passed by.
Their horrified expressions were amusing, even if brief.

The mansion that Frost had been living in the past few years had seen better days, as vines started to grow on the brick walls surrounding the exterior, even blocking some of the windows slightly. Many bugs and critters cheerfully walked through the overgrown yard, as no one had taken the time to mow it.
Frost made a mental note to get someone to take care of it later as he unlocked the front door to enter.
The mansion was split into multiple rooms, almost half of which were bedrooms, as many friends owned the mansion together.

To the left, was the living room. There lay a Swellow on a sofa, lazily watching TV. He looked over as the front door closed. "Hey, Frost! How was your hospital visit?"

Oh great, am I gonna have to tell him what's happened to me? Yeah… I guess.
"It was alright, Nick." Frost replied, putting his medicine and book on a nearby kitchen table. "I think I'm gonna go grab lunch now. You coming?"

Nick's eyes lit up as he hopped off the sofa and turned off the TV. "Sure. Say, are you alright? You seem a bit more deadpan than usual."

"It's, uhh…" The Gardevoir just waved the question away with his hand. "I'll tell you in a bit. Now c'mon." He waited for Nick to walk outside, then locked the door as he left as well.

"So, there's this place I wanna try, in Mauville there's a food court."
"No."
"Wha? Why not?"
"Because I hear that people literally fight over chairs."
"Oh fine."
"You didn't happen to see me trying to stab anyone today, did you?"
"No. -Did- you try to stab anyone?"
"Y'know what? Nevermind that, forget I said anything."
 

Vragon2.0

Say it with me (Vray-gun)
420
Posts
6
Years
So it seems we have a fusion of human and pokemon perspectives in this fic. I'll admit, pokemon in human roles will be a new read for me, but we'll see where this takes us.

So our main is Frost and boy does he have an issue with things. I find it odd that he'd carry a knife when he's already physically adept, though if mons can still use their moves...why would they need knives? Call it more thinking deeper about the world/lore of your world, but I hope this question is answered as time goes on, along with a few others.

I'll be honest, the colors are rather...distracting. I have little to know idea why they exist all throughout the story and from what I'm reading there is no clear indication made by you. I suspect they apply to certain "emotional tonage" but that can be handled by adjectives or adverbs.

Before I get to each chapter individually, I wanna focus on one little aspect I noticed amid your work.
The windy grass surrounding Mauville was being treaded on by a lone Gardevoir, who had a thin, brown cloak wrapped around them.
Now, I know Bay will kill me for saying this since I'm clearly no exception in someone that uses passive voice, but in this case I'd like to help yah in this. Now, notice how the one treading is the "Gardevoir" and it is after the "treaded". Now in some cases this is fine but for certain sentences like this it leaves a somewhat odd look to it and an even stranger read. For example, compare that to how it reads when you switch it like so.
A lone Gardevoir, wearing a thin, brown cloak, was treading along the windy grass surrounding Mauville city.
The tricky thing about it is you don't wanna repeat it too much since, despite what several peeps say, Passive Voice ain't a bad thing and can even be better than active. It's more a judging case in editing.

Alrighty so with that out of the way, let's get down to the chapters.
Chapter 1:
Knife Comment aside,
"When did this this get here?" She demanded, indicating the horizontal scratch on the left side of Frost's heart.
It wasn't just any old scratch, either. It was indented a few millimeters in his heart and reached all the way to his skin.
This makes me think Frost has his heart on the outside of his body. Which...let's be real, would be pretty ... odd. I would be interested in how this relates to the sort of lifespan drop and all, since that is a pretty serious condition oddly related to a heart injury that seems to be on the outside or at least close enough to be in scratching distance.

Now, one thing I can say is that you set up Frost pretty well. Not technically a brute, but not exactly a willing to go with the flow person either. There's this sort of middle ground this person is in and the reaction to hearing the news was taken...oddly well. Makes me curious if there's more to him accepting things as they are when compared to his story. This can be indicated when doing the challenge of those two earlier. Less outright attacking and more just trying to say "get lost" before showing he'd follow on his threat without even chasing them.

Chapter 2:
"Uhh, wow. You work in a hospital, and you force your patients to listen to this?" Frost asked, someone perturbed by the choice in music.

Zoroark chuckled slightly, and then grabbed a notebook and pencil from his nightstand. "I'm a therapist. This'll help you relax." He briefly looked up, then begun writing. "Huh, you're kinda muscular for a Gardevoir. How 'bout we start there?"
As good as Driftveil's theme is, gonna have to call you on your works doctor. Especially when there's this,
A real relaxer

Now as for this Z doctor (odd how he goes by his species name but not Frost, oh well), he seems to be a rather strange therapist. Though, you've shown he has a sort of "in the back processing" going about him, due to figuring things out and somehow getting Frost comfortable enough to talk about things that even Frost was confused about talking about. I suppose there could be some influence, or maybe he's just a talkable individual Frost felt like he could say before his retracting judgement came along. All in all, this Z character is the most mysterious and probably has some special relevance in helping Frost, though that was a pretty short therapy session, not gonna lie.

So in summary:
So far nothing too much into Frost or Z but it makes sense for just being at 2 chapters. Frost definitely is the focus with his past, attacking (wonder if he had jail time), and current predicament. Some things need to be explained about your world, but so far the world is pretty interesting, although I would have preferred a more distinct world rather than Hoenn but with pokemon. However, there's loads of time to answer these questions and set up for some interesting pieces, especially since you have one of Frost's friends tagging along. Should be a nice set up for some deep convo and maybe even some funny moments together.

Good luck!
 

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
Hello! And thank you for commenting on my story. I'm haven't written in a few months, but I think I can make an attempt to get back at it while trying to improve in any way I can.

I find it odd that he'd carry a knife when he's already physically adept, though if mons can still use their moves...why would they need knives?
I have an obsession with giving characters kitchen knives. But honestly yes it doesn't make much sense.

I'll be honest, the colors are rather...distracting. I have little to know idea why they exist all throughout the story and from what I'm reading there is no clear indication made by you. I suspect they apply to certain "emotional tonage" but that can be handled by adjectives or adverbs.
After looking it over, the colors are indeed distracting, especially in dark mode. When I was adjusting the parts to be published, I did notice that the colored words stood out quite a bit.

I just like having colored text. But I guess I should understand that nobody cares about colored text and it should only be used sparingly.

Passive Voice ain't a bad thing and can even be better than active. It's more a judging case in editing.
By the way, I'm bad at writing good essays. Not only that, but I could not for the life of me comprehend what was being taught to be in higher-level English classes.

This makes me think Frost has his heart on the outside of his body. Which...let's be real, would be pretty ... odd. I would be interested in how this relates to the sort of lifespan drop and all, since that is a pretty serious condition oddly related to a heart injury that seems to be on the outside or at least close enough to be in scratching distance.
That... 'thing' in Gardevoir's chest? It may or may not be... its heart. I read Bulbapedia for this stuff.

Alright, have a good day now.
 

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
Part III: The Sacred Sword
The sun's ascent to the peak of the blue sky had finished, and was ready to begin dipping down below the horizon.

Frost and Nick were seated at a local cafe, as when they were passing by the food court, two Pokémon were literally battling over a chair.

Frost had ordered a square sandwich, cut diagonally through the middle of course, and Nick ordered egg rolls, which he gleefully ate. "So run this by me again, you didn't try to stab anyone while you were outside, right?"

The Gardevoir sighed as he nibbled on his second sandwich half. "Yes, now stop pestering me about it. I'm trying to talk here." He cleared his throat and put the sandwich down. "You remember Aliyah from about three years ago, right?"

"Your childhood bully?" Nick asked, to which Frost nodded. "Yeah, I think I might've seen her after we beat the league. Why do you ask?"

"Well actually…" Frost paused, hesitant to speak about the details, but he had to come out with it sooner or later. "Something happened before that; before the league. You may have noticed that I suddenly disappeared when we reached Ever Grande City, right?"

Nick nodded. "Yes I did. Brendan sent me to find you, but when I came back, you were already at the Pokémon center. What were you doing?"

"I went back to Victory Road. I found Aliyah all by her lonesome coming through." Nick's expression subtly changed to worry, but Frost continued. "I was angry. Angry because of all the abuse and harassment I'd been suffering because of her."

"You… did you fight her?"

Frost just slowly shook his head. "It wasn't much of a fight. I attacked her with everything I had; shadow balls, double teaming, and Night Slash. I almost killed her that day."

"But you didn't."

Frost leaned forward on the table aggressively, almost sending his plate off the edge. "Why are you so calm when I'm telling you my murder story?"

"Because…" Nick leaned back in his chair as a waiter grabbed his empty plate. "It's all in the past now. We do things that we regret, then we carry on. Did you ever apologize to each other for your actions?"

Apologize… say sorry. Sorry. That one word just seemed to reverberate in Frost's head. He heard Aliyah's pained voice begging for forgiveness. "I… we… I don't think we ever properly apologized to each other. And I'm not sure we'll ever get the chance to."

"You never know." While Frost was thinking, Nick reached over and grabbed the unfinished triangle sandwich, shoving it into his mouth.
"H-hey!"

"Srry. Dint no yu wrr sill hgry." Frost just gave his 'friend' the staredown as he chewed through it. "So, is that what you wanted to tell me?"

Frost leaned back in his chair and angled his body so that Nick could see his scratch. "See this? During the battle, one of the icicles Aliyah threw at me damaged my heart." he sighed and slouched. "The doctor told me that because of it, I wouldn't live as long as a Gardevoir normally would."

"...so you're dying?" Nick asked, dumbing the explanation down.

"Yes, but no. Just..." Frost sighed; he -was- dying. But it was -totally- fine, he just needed a deep breath to calm himself. "Listen, don't tell anyone else about this, alright? I don't them to worry."

In response, Nick stretched his wing out over the table. "Of course. Not that you gave me much choice when you told me." Frost extended his hand and shook… Nick's wing.

"Well, I'll be going back home now. How about you?"

"Nah, I think I'll be shopping. Maybe fighting over a seat later."

Frost nodded, and teleported away, leaving a cloud of light smoke as his signature.
Nick never liked that, as he started coughing and waving the smoke away. "Ugh! Unbelievable."

-----

Once again, the mansion's state was a reminder that someone needed to clean up the place. Frost walked around to the backyard, where it was much more cleaner.
It even had a pool, for anyone that could fit. One of his other friends- a Linoone, was happily swi- surfing in the pool. "Slade."

The Linoone looked over and gave Frost a wave from the pool. "Oh, good afternoon, Frost!"

Honestly, Frost didn't hold Slade in a very high regard. He was oblivious to a few things, and only existed to be the… 'practitioner of the most hidden of moves'. That, was at least a polite way to title him. No one had the heart to tell him why they let him learn almost all the HMs.
"Hey, buddy. Backyard good?"

"Yeah! I've been keeping it nice and tidy in case anyone wants to take a dip." Which may never even happen, sadly.

"Okay, that's great. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. The front yard isn't looking so good, so would you mind sprucing it up?"

Slade's eyes lit up. "The front yard? Oh no!" He hopped out of the pool, dripping wet, and ran towards the front of the mansion. "We can't have tall grass in front of our house!"

Frost chuckled to himself a bit, and entered the house through the backdoor while Slade happily cut through the grass. Dust populated the tops of drawers and tables, causing Frost to cough slightly.
I need to clean this up… without stressing myself out with my psychic energies…
He sighed as the inconvenience and began to meticulously clean out dust around the house with towels and a broom.

Nick returned after about an hour or so, only to make the situation worse by throwing gusts through the house, knocking things over. "Whoops, sorry."

Eventually, they managed it. After several hours and snack breaks, Frost, Slade, and Nick cleaned most, if not all of the mansion. It was truly a place built for a king.
Or a former league champion. Frost thought to himself, staring at a display case full of badges and medals. He didn't want to do anything else now, and it was getting late, so he just retired to his room and hopped on his messy bed.
He left his payapa medicine and the MD&D book on the nightstand next to his bed. He just stared at the book that Zoroark had insisted on giving him.
No way I'm reading that.
Just sleep. Think about your problems tomorrow.
Despite the commotion that Nick and Slade were making downstairs in front of the TV, Frost drifted into a deep sleep.



Or, at least he thought he did.
He was suddenly standing in a dark void. He couldn't see anything; not even his hands. But there were two eyes with red irises, reflecting his own orange eyes. "Who is…?" He walked closer in an attempt to get more vision on the stranger.

Felt the ground. It's rocky.
The darkness was gone. They're in a cave.
I can see. He saw that the stranger… was not actually a stranger at all. "Aliyah?"

A white light shone from behind the other Gardevoir; the exit. Aliyah was blocking Frost's way out.

"What? Where am I?" The answer became clear quickly enough: Victory Road. "Aliyah, I'm not here to…?"

Aliyah's eyes were unfeeling. The whole time, she hadn't moved one bit. Until… "You're not gonna get away with what you've done, Frost!" she clenched her fists.

"Listen, I'm sorry! I don't want to fight you again!" She wasn't having it. Aliyah immediately raised her hand, psychically picking up Frost and throwing him into a wall. He gasped in pain as he struggled to stand back up. "Leave me alone…"

Aliyah calmly walked over to Frost and picked him up by the neck. How did she have the strength for that, anyway? "It was a mistake to let me walk away. Now, you'll die!" She slammed him into the wall again.
And again.
...and again.
…...until at last, the rock wall crumbled and Frost was sent careening into the dark void. He screamed out for anyone to help him, but his voice was silenced by the darkness.
I deserve to die.
There was the ground. It was coming closer, and there was nothing that Frost could do to stop it from meeting him.
He closed his eyes and waited for everything to end.

"Ah!" It was a nightmare. Of course it was! Frost could feel his heartbeat, and was having trouble letting it go.
You deserve to die. That was what echoed in his head.

Frost's hands shook as he took his payapa medicine and walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. He took one of the berry-shaped vitamins and popped it in his mouth, washing it down with water.
A nearby clock displayed a glowing 7:03. Frost scowled.
Hell no, I'm not gonna go back to sleep. Not with that damn nightmare.
He left the medicine bottle on the counter as he walked back to his room and sat on his bed.
What am I gonna do now? I can't battle anymore because I tried murdering someone. What...
The MD&D book caught his attention, but Frost shook his head. He was not gonna read that crap.

He waited.

The bedside clock only read 7:21. Frost was losing his patience.

He reached over and grabbed the book.
Am I seriously doing this? He thought, questioning himself. But still, it was worth looking into, and so he opened the book up.

"Page one. Pokemon Mystery Dungeons. And dragons." He flipped to the next page. And then he read everything on that page, too.


He kept reading. The pages kept turning. The minutes turned into hours. Frost could just not stop reading the book. After all, he wanted something to do as a replacement to battling, and Zoroark eventually delivered.
He no longer found it within himself to battle as long as he kept reading the book, and he was going to be reading it for a long time.

4 days later…
A bus stopped at a road near the mansion. Several young Pokémon streamed outside, led by an older looking chaperone.

Frost stopped writing papers about MD&D for a moment to look out through a window. Today was the day. Frost had spoken to a group of people on the internet who were hesitant about trying MD&D and asked them if they wanted to give it a try. Naturally, some of them agreed to it, and he set a date and time.
He saw the kids walking towards the mansion and decided to go outside to greet them. "Hey kids, are you here to try Mystery Dungeons & Dragons?"

They were all of different ages and types. Frost wasn't entirely sure if some of they were capable of writing. But they all answered in ways that could be counted as a 'yes'.

"Great. Who's in charge?"

"That would be me." Frost's attention was taken by a Zoroark. "So, what did I tell you? I honestly didn't expect anyone to get hooked after my last patient burned one of my books."

Frost squinted. "You? Did you plan for me to do this?"

Zoroark shook his head, chuckling while he was at it. "Of course not! Not everyone actually reads the book and gets into it. You're one in a thousand!" He then clears his throat. "By the way, my name isn't Zoroark. It's Enki, but you can just call me N for short."

"So, are you a teacher or not?"

Enki laughed, but not for as long as last time. "Haha, no. I'm just a chaperone for the kids, but I am willing to participate in your MD&D campaign. Hm?" He looked down at a Houndour tugging on him.

"Umm, I thought your name was-"

"Yes, yes, tell me later, Damion." He looks at Frost's amused stare. "Nothing suspicious about me." He says, trying to wave off whatever he was talking about.

"Alright then, let's go." Frost led the group into the mansion, which now didn't have a jungle growing in front of it thanks to Slade's cut usage. He walked past the kitchen and to a dining room, with a fancy table and several chairs for everyone. "Have a seat wherever you want." And he promptly sat on the chair with the most papers in front of it. Everyone followed suit, with N having to pull out some chairs for others. Sheets of papers with multiple blank lines among text were in front of almost every chair.
Let's see…
There was a Houndour, Lombre, Marill, Combusken, a Minun, and of course, N the Zoroark. "Let's start by introducing ourselves. I'm Frost, and don't make the mistake of assuming I'm a woman." He then pointed to the Houndour. "Now how about you?" He already knew that the Houndour's name, but everyone had to hear it anyway.

"Uhh, I'm Damion. Mister N said this would be good for me so…" He didn't have much to say after that.

Then the Lombre introduced himself. "Yeah, you can call me Kram, and I'm from Petalburg. Yeah. That's it."

"And I'm Linden!" The Marill said quickly.

The Combusken had this bored look and had his arms crossed, like he was being forced to come here. "Yurko."

"Hugin." The Minun said, pointing a thumb at himself for emphasis. "I'm from the far away land of… Selatapura."

N leaned forward. "And I'm Enki, but you can of course call me N." The kids stared at him as if he was crazy, but he gave them a convincing thumbs up in return.

Frost cleared his throat to direct attention back to him. "Alright, you may have had a look at the papers in front of you. You will be making characters to… roleplay as. Damion, we'll start with your class. Are you looking for anything in particular, like a warrior or magic user?"

"Well, I think I want to be…"
And the characters were created, one by one. Everyone except Frost created their own character, some with different names. Right as Frost was about to begin, a Swellow suddenly popped in. "Hey everyone! What's happening?"

"...we're playing MD&D." Frost answered, slightly annoyed at Nick's interruption. Though he still had the capacity to not scowl in front of his players, at least.

Gleefully, Nick waddled closer to the table. "Ooh, sounds fun! Can I watch?"

"Sure. I almost thought you were gonna ask to join for a second." With that aside, Frost opened up a notebook filled with ideas and plots. He picked one made from a previous event in his life. "The Sacred Sword of Terrakion, an artifact of one of the four musketeers of Unova. Countless adventurers have searched for this sword, though all their efforts have been in vain." He briefly paused to look up at N, who gave him a reassuring double thumbs up, so he continued. "Today, you might just be the group of adventurers that discovers the Sacred Sword. Your journey starts in Hengeston, a town located in the barren landscape of the Cavnas region."

He put the notebook down. "Okay, guys? You're going to discuss your plans on finding the Sacred Sword, but try to be in character, alright? Okay, you can talk now."
 

Vragon2.0

Say it with me (Vray-gun)
420
Posts
6
Years
Dang a lot happened this chapter, heh.
Before I get to the goody stuff, I'd like to address a few things I noticed during reading.
The sun's ascent to the peak of the blue sky had finished, and was ready to begin dipping down below the horizon.

While I can see what you're aiming for, "the sun reaching the peak and about to start descending" the wording here sort of conflicts with itself. Since you say in this "to begin dipping down below the horizon" it paints a picture of a sun nearing it's setting phase just after you reached high noon and all. Perhaps this is just me when I read this, but I would cut some of those additional bits so that it's a smoother and more concise statement.

Secondly: When it comes to your coloring text, I think you can use it, but there should be some intended purpose/point to it aside from simply enjoying colors. This is your work and colors can be a good vibrance of drawing attention to some sections, but let me ask you a question regarding them. "What's the difference between two colors". I suppose that's my biggest question regarding them.
I deserve to die.
There was the ground. It was coming closer, and there was nothing that Frost could do to stop it from meeting him.
He closed his eyes and waited for everything to end.

"Ah!" It was a nightmare. Of course it was! Frost could feel his heartbeat, and was having trouble letting it go.
You deserve to die. That was what echoed in his head.

I'm curious why the two bolded parts are different. I assumed that the first part was him accepting death and the guilt from his attack (which is well said on his thoughts by calling it a "murder story" earlier), however, this second one saying "you" makes me a little confused and thinking perhaps either the first or the second one was a typo or the wrong word choice. Since well, I'd assume if a sentence is repeating in your head from a dream you would need to have heard it in the dream and well...he didn't exactly hear "You deserve to die" just "now you die!!!" and all that.

With all that done, time for the goody stuff.
Frost leaned forward on the table aggressively, almost sending his plate off the edge. "Why are you so calm when I'm telling you my murder story?"

"Because…" Nick leaned back in his chair as a waiter grabbed his empty plate. "It's all in the past now. We do things that we regret, then we carry on. Did you ever apologize to each other for your actions?"
I like this part right here. Not because he's right (because he is missing a bit of information as well as different things) but that this seems to fit perfectly for the advice of an outsider that's a friend. While it does aid in adding more to Nick's sort of "it's done and dusted" nature, it does offer some advice that while is something Frost will need to use, is an incomplete solution and I do enjoy when things like these are done in writing. Not everyone has the right answer all the time and sometimes takes comparing many different ones together and this one was a good highlight of that.

Though, there's something else really well done here. By having Frost call a story about him beating up someone a "murder story" that says sooooo much about how he views the situation and arguably himself. While yes, it has been stated a few times about how he dislikes that choice of his, this one right here I think is the toe-dip into something deeper. And the best part? It's only 2 words. There's a saying that "a good writer can take a thousand words and make them a hundred". The way this shines for your story is that by subtling showing him essentially confessing how he truly feels about that situation, you're adding a whole new layer of depth to the conversation even if Nick doesn't notice it, or at least the reader knowing he noticed it.

He waited.

The bedside clock only read 7:21. Frost was losing his patience.

He reached over and grabbed the book.
Am I seriously doing this? He thought, questioning himself. But still, it was worth looking into, and so he opened the book up.
I like how you delve and keep to two conflicting aspects of himself. Patience and a sense of self-pride you could say. I enjoy when two aspects of a character conflict and form a conflict even if it's just a minor one, but I do enjoy how it's handled in this.

Also, I'm glad the zoroark has a name now heh, how interesting (and fitting) for it to be N.
 

LilyGardy

The Flowering Pokemon
4,496
Posts
8
Years
I've read the chapters so far a few thoughts:

- I like that you have chosen a Male Gardevoir here. Not only because it is one of my favourite Pokemon but also because Male Gardevoir are rarely used. Gardevoir's Japanese name incidentally translates to 'Sirknight' I think.
- I'm not sure Frost needed to carry a knife with him. As it is stated he is a keen battler he would be adept at using whichever moves he has. The Breloom would almost certainly fall to whatever Psychic move Frost has, the Mightyena should not worry a former Champion Pokemon like Frost.
- I'm not sure what 'time' this story is set. It seems to be Gen 5 as it is stated that Wallace is Champion and that Dawn Stones exist as well as the presence of a Zoroark.
- Does the Fairy type exist in your storyline? If it does this would make sense Frost Psychic/Fairy.
 
Last edited:

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
I like that you have chosen a Male Gardevoir here. Not only because it is one of my favourite Pokemon but also because Male Gardevoir are rarely used. Gardevoir's Japanese name incidentally translates to 'Sirknight' I think.
Yeah, I like Male Gardevoir for mostly the same reasons. Also because it looks feminine, yet can still be a male. I just like using those kinds of Pokémon. But not the other way around.

I'm not sure what 'time' this story is set. It seems to be Gen 5 as it is stated that Wallace is Champion and that Dawn Stones exist as well as the presence of a Zoroark.
Does the Fairy type exist in your storyline? If it does this would make sense Frost Psychic/Fairy.
It's Gen 6, and Frost would most certainly not be happy to know that he'd be Fairy-type!
 

Razgrey

Excalibur
135
Posts
7
Years
Part IV: And thanks, friend. See you again.
"Alright, Kram, you've rolled a 16. You hit the buizel with a powerful razor leaf for thirty damage! He faints, and you've healed up to full." Several hours had passed since Frost had started his MD&D campaign had started, and for the most part, everyone was enjoying it.
Especially Frost, who was glad to have something to do to pass the time, as well as take his mind off of his problems.

"I'll heal N." Hugin, the Minun said. She grabbed the dice and threw it across the table. It rolled… a 1. Most of the players went into a brief uproar.

Frost chuckled lightly and clasped his fists together for his nasty plot. "You raise your staff for a healing light… but you actually cast a blinding light on N! The bright flash confuses and deals fifteen damage to him."

"Oh no…" N says unconcernedly, waving his hands in the air. "I'm sure it'll be fine. You just need to defeat that last bandit."

"What're you gonna do, N? I need you to do something." Frost asks. It -was- his turn, after all.

The zoroark frowned; he didn't like that at all. "Uhh… can I eat a chesto berry?"

"Sure." Frost takes a coin and flips it, receiving heads. "You eat the berry, but you're still confused. Chesto berry is for sleep, not confusion. Who even let you work in a hospital, anyway?"

"But it was delicious!" N said cheerfully.

Damion the houndour slowly reaches over the table and grabs the dice. "So… it's my turn now… uhh, I use ember on the koffing?" He throws the dice forward- rolled it, actually; he couldn't grip it very well. It's… a 20!

"Alright!" Frost cracked his knuckles, only to wince and shake his left hand. "Damion doesn't just burn the koffing with an ember, he throws a fire blast at it. The resulting explosion sends both the koffing and the buizel blasting off into the sky." He pauses for effect. "Good job, you defeated those two Team Dink grunts!"

The victory was met by quiet cheers, which was expected for first timers. The combusken in the group tapped N to get his attention. "Something you need, Yurko?"

"Mister Enki, I think we need to go now. We were supposed to finish twenty minutes ago."

"What?!" The marill, or Linden, immediately hopped out of her chair and ran out through the front door of the house, without having the courtesy of closing it behind her.

N chuckled only slightly. "Hehe… Well, I guess we really do need to get going now. I don't want their parents thinking you're a kidnapper, now would I?"

"That ain't funny." Frost said, standing up and cleaning up the table. "But anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the experience. If you're interested in coming back, we can start right where we left off."

Damion tugged on Frost's 'dress', just to say: "Thanks for playing with us, it was fun!"

Frost struggled to smile, but he was able to pull it off. "No problem, kid."

All the kids streamed out of the house and back to the bus, which had arrived… 21 minutes ago. Whoever the driver was, they were lazy or had some serious patience.
Frost watched them from outside his mansion, as well as N. Nick was just staring through a window. "So…" the zoroark started. "Guess you're a nerd now, huh?"

Frost scoffed when he heard that. "Shut up."

Once more, N laughed. "Well anyways, you might want to schedule an appointment with me. You know where I work." With that, he began walking towards the bus, but halfway there he turned around. "Oh, and my name isn't actually Enki!"

Frost's frown just intensified. "What? Then -what- is your name, then?!"

"Maybe I'll tell you! Just keep calling me N for now!" Before Frost could object, he hopped into the bus, and the doors closed.


"Hey, I finished mowing the lawn!" Frost looked to his right to see Slade, having freshly Cut the grass down.

"That's great…" Awkward. "Hey, we should get something to eat. How does that sound?"

Slade's face lit up with glee. "Ooh, yeah! Where are we eating?"

"C'mon, we'll see." The two of them set off for Mauville for some quick lunch. "Slade, I gotta ask, do you do anything -other- than Surfing or Cutting?"

Two days later…
The ocean off the coast of Lilycove City was calm today. A lapras was on its way to the beachside to drop off a passenger.

Several Pokémon were playing around on the beach today, but that didn't stop the lapras from landing on the beach like a washed-up staryu. "And here we are. Be sure to give us a rating if you enjoyed the ride, madam."

"Thanks." A gardevoir stepped off the lapras' spiky shell and onto the beach. She carried a satchel on her right shoulder, with it having a Rain Badge pinned on the front. "What're you going to do now?"

"I'll just be resting a while before going back. Be sure to have a good day, alright?"

Gardevoir smiled slightly. "You too." With that, she took the time to walk around town. "Everything looks different than what I remember…" The contest center, the museum, the harbor… all a bit different somehow. Not that it was a bad thing, of course.

She walked up to a nearby luvdisc just floating around and gave them a slight tap. "Excuse me, do you know who the League Champion is?"

"It's Steven Stone."

"Steven? But I thought it was someone different."

If luvdiscs could shrug, this one would. "Don't ask me about the league. I don't pay much attention to it these days."

"Okay. Well… sorry for taking up your time." She simply walked away without receiving a response.

What am I gonna do now?
Perhaps keep walking. Yes, that should do fine. Surely someone else would know about the league. Someone like… a gym leader!
The closest gym was in Fortree City, which actually wasn't that close. But still, it had to be done. Gardevoir set out in a run on the route between Lilycove and Fortree.

-----
Fortree City hadn't changed much. It was still very… forest-y. Houses could only be reached by climbing ladders, which was a bit annoying to some.
Gardevoir climbed up to where the gym was and immediately walked into the closed door. "Uh- what?" She assumed the door would automatically slide open in a second, but it didn't.
Is it closed?

"Trying to challenge Winona?" A swablu perched in a nearby branch asked.

"No. I'm just here to ask her some questions." Gardevoir turned to face Swablu, being careful not to walk too close to the edge.

Swablu pointed one of its wings to itself. "Well I'm part of the gym! You could ask -me- a question. The gym's closed anyway."

"Ah… alright. Do you know who the previous League Champion was before Steven?"

"Wallace?"

Gardevoir's head lowered slightly in frustration. "No… that's not who I'm looking for. Umm… was there anyone who was a champion between when Wallace and Steven were?"

Swablu made an attempt to pose like a thinker, but couldn't do so with its fluffy wings. "Well… there was this person named Brendan who became champion for a few days… and then he passed it onto someone named Frost… but then it just went to Steven." But at least it could do a proper shrug. "They should probably make up their minds sooner for this kind of stuff."

"Frost… do you know where I can find him?" Gardevoir asked, tentatively leaning forward.

"Well…" Swablu started, looking away slightly. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I hear he lives around Mauville City."

That put a smile on Gardevoir's face. "Mauville. Thank you!"

"No prob-"
Gardevoir immediately sped off and climbed down a ladder. "Thank you very much; I have to go now!"

She ran. Ran for several miles. Sometimes she stopped to rest for a few minutes, but she kept running south towards Mauville.

The city appeared as just a small speck in the distance, but slowly became bigger until its full grandeur could easily be seen from the outside. Gardevoir was about to run into the city, but she stopped when she noticed a very obvious mansion off a mile or two to the side.

...she ran that way instead. By the time she got there, she was nearly out of breath, and her chest felt like it was burning.
Just a few minutes… I gotta keep going… I need to. Ugggh…

After a few minutes of taking deep breaths and staring at the mansion, she slowly walked over to the front door… and rang the doorbell.

……
Steps were heard. The door was opened by an orange-eyed gardevoir. "Uh, yes?"

"I-I… do… do you remember me?"

Without skipping a beat, he just said: "No, I'm afraid I do not recognize you in particular."
But your eyes… do you really not remember me?

Gardevoir's head just dropped right there. She felt tears coming, as she felt like she came all this way for nothing. "I… ok. Sorry." She stood at the doorstep, with the other gardevoir just giving her a blank stare.

Eventually, she did turn around to leave. Slowly.
"Ahahahahaha! I'm just joking with you!"
What?
She turned around, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. "F-Frost?"

"Aliyah." He had a smug smile on his face. Immediately, Aliyah ran forward, only to get stopped by Frost raising his hand. "No hugs, if you don't mind."

"Oh- uhh, of course. I'm…"

"I'm sorry."

Aliyah blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry I attacked you in Victory Road." Frost's smile faded. "I was just... -really- angry back then. But I've decided to change for the better. Can you forgive me?"

Aliyah slowly smiled. "I… yes. Yes! Do you forgive me, for the things I've said to you when we were younger?"

"Yeah. I guess every child has to be a brat." Frost snorted slightly as he was saying that. "But it's fine. We're different now."
Aliyah's smile became bigger, and he stepped forward to embrace Frost. "Hey, what did I say?" He gently pushed Aliyah off of him.

"Haha… sorry about that. It's just that… it's strange, you know? We don't see each other after such a long time and we can just forgive each other that quickly?"

"Maybe so. Did you come here looking for me?" Frost asked, gesturing to himself.

Aliyah took a step back. "Uhh, yes?"

"Heh. You've changed much more than I remember. Hey, you seem a bit tired. Wanna come inside?" Frost asked, moving out of the way to let Aliyah in the mansion.

She nodded. "That would be lovely." And walked inside.

"Nick, Slade! We have a guest!"
 
Last edited:
Back
Top