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Simurgh

Corvus of the Black Night

Wild Duck Pokémon
3,416
Posts
15
Years
Reposting this, it has a lot more work done and I'd rather not revive my old thread.

OKAY SO I LIED I'LL POST IT AS I GO ALONG

Simurgh

By Rachel Merryfield

Summary
Spoiler:


Pages
These will be updated often. Red Pages are pages that are not available, Blue Pages are unfinished pages. Normal links are finished pages. Some pages may be in colour.

Cover
001
002
003
004
005
006
007
008
009
010
011
012 (filler page)
013
014
015
016
017
018
019
020 and 021
022
023
024 (filler page)
025
026
027
028
029
030
031
032
033
034
035
036 (filler)
037
038
039
040
041
042
043
044
045
046
047
048

COMPLETED ON MAY 22, 2011

FEEL FREE TO COMMENT, AND TO COMPLAIN THAT I'M NOT UPDATING ENOUGH. HEHEHE
 
Last edited:

Trent_Jayir

Who the hell do you think i am
208
Posts
14
Years
Wow... no comments....?
Either way :'>
This is looking great so far, you can see how you've improved even since you began.
This is a really interesting story. I would like to say though, it's very word-heavy in a lot of the panels, which is a shame... It would be really great if you could let the pictures tell the story more than the words. Yes, that means it's more drawing and more hard work (typing isn't quite so time-consuming) but It'll be a lot more enegetic and fun for the reader, for example, on page 16, you have one panel with a whole paragraph of text... It's such a shame becuaxse it's an interesting bit of the story! I would have loved to have seen a flash-back to match what's being said, like, him actually playing with the the toy planes and seeing his reaction as he realised what makes them work ... Things like that? Really push how far you can go, see if you can tell the story mostly in pictures rather than having words with a small illustration, I hope that makes sense, haha...

Besides the sometimes word-heavy sections, this is really good so far, I would love to see you do more! You have a really nice manga-y style developing too, so keep up the great stuff! It takes a lot of effort and dedication to get as far as you have, I'm impressed!
 

Corvus of the Black Night

Wild Duck Pokémon
3,416
Posts
15
Years
Trent_Jayir said:
Wow... no comments....?
Either way :'>
This is looking great so far, you can see how you've improved even since you began.
This is a really interesting story. I would like to say though, it's very word-heavy in a lot of the panels, which is a shame... It would be really great if you could let the pictures tell the story more than the words. Yes, that means it's more drawing and more hard work (typing isn't quite so time-consuming) but It'll be a lot more enegetic and fun for the reader, for example, on page 16, you have one panel with a whole paragraph of text... It's such a shame becuaxse it's an interesting bit of the story! I would have loved to have seen a flash-back to match what's being said, like, him actually playing with the the toy planes and seeing his reaction as he realised what makes them work ... Things like that? Really push how far you can go, see if you can tell the story mostly in pictures rather than having words with a small illustration, I hope that makes sense, haha...

Besides the sometimes word-heavy sections, this is really good so far, I would love to see you do more! You have a really nice manga-y style developing too, so keep up the great stuff! It takes a lot of effort and dedication to get as far as you have, I'm impressed!
Click to expand...
Wooow, thanks *-*

Yeah, I need to get the groundwork setup now, that's why there's so much text. But thanks for the comment, I'll keep it in mind. I'm working on page 017 now so I'll keep the updates coming!

I really like your idea with the flashback... but I have no idea how I'm going to fit that in. If it was how the page finished, it wouldn't be a big deal but yeah... ;-;

(yay, a response, unlike last time :DDD )

EDIT: Finished 017 is up.
 
Last edited:
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