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Writing The adventure begins... [Story Part I]

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  #26    
Old November 5th, 2016 (9:44 AM).
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I definitely agree with the idea of having the mother on one, quiet island, and the father on the man-made one. It just shows off their racial diversity and makes a clear statement that daddy isn't home much, which is what we want. It would be odd if he worked next door and yet mom barely ever sees him.

FBI's idea of finding a ship part could be good too, it makes the starting island a little bigger and gives the player more of a chance to train their Pokemon. It doesn't, however, give them an option to capture new Pokemon. I don't know if they should or shouldn't at this stage. The first gym doesn't seem all too far from the start and we need to be careful with that depending on what level the gym leader is.
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Old November 6th, 2016 (1:41 AM).
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I pretty much agree with what FBI and Zervais have laid out there.
Apologies for my minimal contributions the past week or so, I've been in a massive creative dry spell.
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Old November 6th, 2016 (6:39 AM).
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I pretty much agree with what FBI and Zervais have laid out there.
Apologies for my minimal contributions the past week or so, I've been in a massive creative dry spell.
Does that mean we can confirm the leaf ceremony as the introduction and maybe get some dialogue? Or is it still far too early for that?
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Old November 6th, 2016 (6:41 AM).
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Does that mean we can confirm the leaf ceremony as the introduction and maybe get some dialogue? Or is it still far too early for that?
I'll read through it again just to make sure of everything but it looks pretty solid for now. I'll get back to you for sure tomorrow after I've slept.
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Old November 6th, 2016 (7:51 PM).
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Alright, apologies for the double post but I've looked through more thoroughly and I've thought through it now.

I really like the leaf ceremony and would love to kick it all off like that. I think that's really unique and sweet and helps set the tone a little bit. I do agree with Nina though that I'd rather have the characters travel to the father themselves. So I think the mother should give the players their Pokemon and the PokePad. Perhaps the father can update it with some fancy new feature(s) as his gift or something?

You could even have the player and their sibling travel across the first route together like in X/Y if you wanted.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (2:46 AM).
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Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
Alright, apologies for the double post but I've looked through more thoroughly and I've thought through it now.

I really like the leaf ceremony and would love to kick it all off like that. I think that's really unique and sweet and helps set the tone a little bit. I do agree with Nina though that I'd rather have the characters travel to the father themselves. So I think the mother should give the players their Pokemon and the PokePad. Perhaps the father can update it with some fancy new feature(s) as his gift or something?

You could even have the player and their sibling travel across the first route together like in X/Y if you wanted.
Since it's pretty much confirmed that the father (or at least his company) made the device, it would seem a little odd for the player to receive the gift from the mother. I've also already made the argument about story themes: the father should give the tech and the mother the pokemon because it reflects their ideals.

In RSE you only get the Pokenav once you reach the first Gym, so we could delay giving the player this because the meet your father event will also happen about the same time. However if we can't delay getting the Pokedex and Pokepad this long, the father can always mail the gift - it would actually highlight his disconnected attitude even more. I don't they're so essential that the player can't last until the first gym without though.

It would be nice if we can travel with the sibling along the first route and maybe even get the traditional tutorial elements (catching your first Pokemon, etc.) out of the way then, but they should run ahead rather than follow you.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (6:23 AM).
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OK, so after some discussion we've reached a decision we'd like for the start of the story. Specifically, we'd like to stick with the "starting in the city" idea, where the story begins in the residential part of the city the father is in.

Following the leaf ceremony, the general flow would be: the player starts in the residential area of the city, they will receive their Pokémon, they'll be given a task that takes you on a loop outside the city, they'll return to the city and receive the PokéPad, and finally they'll face the gym.

I'll post a image showing what I mean later.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (7:48 AM).
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I'll just summon Touched so he can explain what he was arguing.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (7:54 AM).
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I'll just summon Touched so he can explain what he was arguing.
Nevermind. I realize that I'm happy just working on my stuff and letting you guys deal with these parts of the hack. Though I wish you guys had discussed the merits of both with everyone involved in the story before making this decision or atleast explained :(
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Old November 7th, 2016 (8:28 AM).
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I always thought it was weird starting in the city, especially because the dad is nearby yet he's supposed to be 'away from home'? Oh well, guess it's not my choice anyway, I only applied to be a tester due to the fact I'm working on my own hack, but I thought I would put my input in, especially because I love story writing. It's your choice in the end, even if it is supposed to be a community hack. I'm not in charge, so I'm good with whatever.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (8:44 AM).
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Explanation


Map of Island One (starting island):


Keep in mind this map is just a rough sketch and the orientation of the setup can be changed as needed

Key:
  • A: Starling City (The starting area)
  • B: Part of the City, this is where people live and is less urban and more traditional looking.
  • C: The beach
  • D: First part of Route 1
  • E: Some cave or something on Route 1
  • F: First exit of route 1, takes you back to part G of the city
  • G: Second part of the City, this is the urban city like part where people work
  • H: Road between the parts of the city
  • I: Another part of route 1, takes you to other places on the island

So the rough outline thus far is as follows:

Part B is the nice residential area of the city, and doesn't contain any high rise buildings or anything. It's flat, peaceful and traditional. It's a port town, and the oldest part of the city.

The player's house is located near C (the beach). This farthest from the bustling city life and where the leaf ceremony occurs. From the leaf ceremony, the player can go back to their mother's lab with their sibling to receive the starter Pokemon.

From here, the order can be shifted around somewhat, depending on pacing needs.

There is a roadblock at H, and the player needs to visit the father at part G as he has a gift for you. The mother has also set the player an errand: they must collected the artefact located at E. Conveniently, this is the other way to part G. Thus the player takes the looping route from D to reach E, exiting at F finally reaching the other part of the city.

The player then meets up with the father and receives the Pokepad. This is the first time you meet the father. After receiving the Pokepad he adds the necessary phone numbers (his, and your sibling's) to the phone app. He may possibly be intrigued by the tablet that you are carrying with you?

Upon leaving the building you get a phone call from your mother. The roadblock at H is now gone so you can return along here to the mother. The mother then takes the artefact and gives you the Pokedex app for your Pokepad. You also receive Pokeballs.

Now you're free to challenge the first Gym, located at G. Maybe there are trainers along the bridge/road at H for some additional training.

After challenging the gym, you can now set down the path at I to the rest of the island. This path was previously blocked off by an HM (or whatever we have replacing them) that only becomes accessible after defeating the Gym.

Reasoning


The other story outline require that the player take a boat to meet the father. This has several disadvantages. First, the path to the father is somewhat inflexible and occurs at much later stage than described in the outline above.

Second, the fast travel to the father breaks the flow of the game. You have to get to a boat and then arrive at a completely different area without walking. The only route along the way is the route to the harbour town. You also have explored 2/4 islands within the first 10 minutes of play. It feels wrong to jump around the islands so soon in the game.

The reasoning behind the other plan (to have the father on another island) was to use geographical separation to highlight the emotional separation between the family as well as to reflect the themes. However, in the plan above, the father is still separated from the family. He is at work the whole time and requires you to visit him at work to give you a gift because he's too busy to leave even on this special day. This is actually a more profound separation: he has no excuse because he lives in same house and the same city, he just chooses to be away from home to further his career. If he had lived a route and a boat ride away his distance would be more justifiable. As for the thematic and artistic angle, having two parts of the city better reflects these themes. The two parts are thematically different, while coexisting as a whole. They're at odds with each other: the newer, more urban part where your father works and the older, more traditional part where your family lives. This separation better shows the main theme of the hack (native vs. settler) and gives the artists quite a lot of freedom when doing tiles as the different parts will be visually distinct.

TLDR: This plan flows better because there is no need for fast travel, it is more flexible and achieves essentially the same stuff as the other plan.
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  #37    
Old November 7th, 2016 (9:43 AM).
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I think that's dumb atmosphere and story wise, but ok, I'll stop contributing those kinds of idea anymore.
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  #38    
Old November 7th, 2016 (12:37 PM).
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Alternative:

You start on a nearby island connected by a land bridge. Your home and your mother's lab is located here. After receiving your starter you travel across the land bridge (route 1) with your sibling and get some minor training in. After crossing over to the main island you visit your father's office and receive the PokePad. You now meet up with your mother again somewhere to get the Pokedex. Now you have to run a small errand to fetch a tablet, so you visit a nearby cave and return it to your mother. Now you return to the city that your father's office was in to challenge the first gym.
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Old November 7th, 2016 (2:43 PM).
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To be honest, I'm actually okay with Touched's idea now that it has been explained to me and the reasoning he has behind it. We want to dad to seem like he's always away at work, and it clearly shows that and doesn't leave any reason for excuse as he literally is in the same place. I think this could work. I was on the fence about it but it makes sense, so I like it.
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Old November 16th, 2016 (12:55 PM).
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Alright, since a decision was made for the city approach, hows about we make some progress on the idea?

What we have right now, the player starts the game in the lab after the leaf talk. Sibling, mom and you are in the lab at this point and start proceeding to the door. At this point Mom gets a phone call from dad asking for you guys to come to his main office. Mom says that you guys should go see what dad wants because he's a busy man, and that you can do the leaf ceremony afterwards. Before she sets you off to see dad, she wants to give the two of you guy your presents first. At this point, you pick your starter and Mom sets you off to visit dad.

We talked about letting the sibling take the lead in heading into the town. He/she can be the one who shows you to the office building.

Can we get some dialog for this entire sequence?

Here are some ideas:

Mom: Lets head to the docks and let these go. When we get back, I've a surprise for the two of you. (Happy emote)
- Mom walks to lab table and grabs her bag -

Sibling: Lets get this over with. How are leaves supposed to grant wishes anyways?
- Sibling is talking while mom is getting her bag -

Mom: [sibling] the world is a mysterious place, the unthinkable, illogical and unprecedented are always happening.
- Mom starts heading to the door with sibling following. After a few steps (4-5 ahead) she turns around and waits for you to come), you catch up to them -

When you guys are outside the lab, Mom gets a phone call and she checks her phone. You overhear the conversation between your mother and father.
Mom: Hello?
Dad: [Mom' name], are you with the children right now? Can you ask them to see me in my office urgently? I managed to free a slot in my schedule.
Mom: We're just about to do the [ceremony name] leaf ceremony. If you've got time, perhaps you should come to see them.
Dad: I'm sorry [Mom's name].
Mom: [Sigh emote] OK, I'll get them to walk there then. Give us a few minutes.
Dad: Thank you.

-Phone cuts-

Mom: Dad wants to see you two, we'll do the leaf ceremony afterwards. But before you go, I'd like to give you my present. Please pick one, I've prepared them for this special day.

Sibling: Wow, Pokemon! Thanks Mom, can I have two??

Mom: [Sibling] we have to be fair to [Player].

Sibling: Alright..alright. I just can't decide. [Player] you can pick first, I'm trying to make up my mind.
- jump into starter selection -

Sibling: No! I wanted the [Starter]. Fine I guess I'll just pick my second choice then.
- Picks type advantage starter -

Mom: Good choices, [Starter1] and [Starter2] will prove great partners for the rest of your lives.

Sibling: [Player] lets battle! I'll show you what I can do!! [Excited emote]

Mom: There's no time for battling, go visit dad. He's a busy man and you shouldn't keep him waiting. I'll be waiting here at the lab, we'll finish the leaves ceremony once you two are back.

Sibling: Lets go fast [Player], I wonder what dad will give us.
- Sibling starts to lead the way -

[Here the player can control their playable character with the Dpad]
Sibling is always going to be some steps ahead and continuously walk. You need to follow them. If they're too far around they'll turn around and wait for you to be within X steps and ask you to hurry (at that point you can only move towards them).

- Once you are at the entrance of the building, Sibling turns around-
Sibling: I think Dad is supposed to be on the top floor. I don't remember though, I guess we'll go inside and find out.

- you enter the building with them. Dad is waiting at the lobby talking to someone -
Dad: Oh there they are! That was sooner than expected, I'm always happy to see my kids at work.
- you two walk towards him -
Sibling: Dad are you going to give us something? Mom gave us Pokemon, I got a [Starter]!

Dad: Is that so [Sibling]? We haven't got much time, so lets go fetch your gifts.
- dad start walking to elevator -

Dad : Mom wanted you guys home early for the leaves ceremony. It may seem pointless, but it would make your mother happy.

Sibing: It is pointless[.]

Dad: Haha
- He laughs as the screen fades and you guys go up the elevator. Screen unfades, and you guys are at dad's office floor. He's got a nice office desk near a windowed area and another Desk containing the Pokepad device holders and other mysterious devices -

Dad: Follow me. Be careful not to knock anything over, we've worked years to build these things.

Sibling: These are amazing. I have no idea what they do though.

Dad: Ahh here it is. These are called Pokepads. They're high tech devices containing useful applications for any Pokemon trainer or otherwise. [Sibling], [Player], my gift to you is the fruit of [Company name]' labor. I'm sure it'll prove useful.
- dad picks up pokepads from table and hands it to each of you -
Dad: There was a time when I was a Pokemon trainer too. I explored my homeland jhoto. It was nice, the people were nice, they understood me and I wanted to help them. I hope you will also experience something like that on your adventure.

Sibling: Dad, tell us more about your journey! What was your first Pokemon?
-office phone rings-
Dad: It'll have to be at another time. Looks like I've got work to do, come visit me another time. [smile]

-You and sibling walk to the elevator and head to the lobby-
Sibling: Dad seems like he would be a strong trainer. I want to be a strong trainer too [Player], for that I'll train hard and try to be like dad. I'll see you later [Player], I haven't got a second to waste!
- Sibling runs out of lobby -

[At this point, you are able to control your character and explore the lobby. The elevator can have an access code. When you walk out of the building a script executes and your sibling walks up from off screen towards you]

Sibling: I almost forgot. [Player], let me start my career here. Lets have that Pokemon battle!
- After match -
If loss: Sibling: It's only natural the first battle doesn't go my way. You can't get up unless you've fallen. Oh by the way, [Player], I noticed you don't have your running shoes on. You probably couldn't find them because I threw them out. Go talk to mom, I left a pair of brand new Running shoes with her, it's my present to you. Well, I'm going to explore the route a little bit. Tell mom I don't want to do the stupid leaves ceremony, my Pokemon adventures await!

-Sibling walks off and player is free control at this point-

The idea is you go back home to get your running shoes, and your sibling can be blocking the entrance to the route saying something like the "Prof oak's voice echos in your head" thingy but to go and get your shoes from mom. Mom would ask about the sibling and just do the leaves ceremony with you.

Thoughts?
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Old November 21st, 2016 (12:30 AM).
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I'll take a more detailed look into FBI's proposal soon. Just wanted to make sure everyone knows I haven't forgotten!
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Old November 28th, 2016 (2:22 AM).
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Snip
Alright, most of that looks good but if the Leaf Ceremony is doubling as when we name the player/sibling it doesn't make much sense to put it off until after they visit the dad. It'd make more sense if the phone call came upon their return to the lab.

So as something of a timeline

-Leaf/Naming Ceremony
-Return to the Lab
-Sudden phonecall (Dad want you to visit him at work)
-Mum gives you Pokemon
-Go to meet dad/receive DadPad
-Insert first battle here
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Old November 28th, 2016 (3:41 AM).
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Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
Alright, most of that looks good but if the Leaf Ceremony is doubling as when we name the player/sibling it doesn't make much sense to put it off until after they visit the dad. It'd make more sense if the phone call came upon their return to the lab.

So as something of a timeline

-Leaf/Naming Ceremony
-Return to the Lab
-Sudden phonecall (Dad want you to visit him at work)
-Mum gives you Pokemon
-Go to meet dad/receive DadPad
-Insert first battle here
We're doing starter selection on the beach:



So can we move getting the Pokemon before the return to the lab?
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Old November 28th, 2016 (3:42 AM).
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We're doing starter selection on the beach:



So can we move getting the Pokemon before the return to the lab?
Definitely! That was my mistake.
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  #45    
Old January 27th, 2017 (8:54 AM).
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Hi! I'm very interested in this and have been watching the planning for a while. I'm not a team member, so if I'm not aloud to comment on this then feel free to delete it.
Anyway, maybe you could have every starter available but still only picking one? Just a thought
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Old February 4th, 2017 (9:05 PM).
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Originally Posted by The new Zovrah View Post
Hi! I'm very interested in this and have been watching the planning for a while. I'm not a team member, so if I'm not aloud to comment on this then feel free to delete it.
Anyway, maybe you could have every starter available but still only picking one? Just a thought
Hi! I don't think that will happen. I actually like the idea, personally--from a player's perspective--because of the variety it gives me for building my team. However, there are several reasons it wouldn't happen:
  1. Planning. I assume the starter options were put up to a vote and/or discussion, and it was decided to use the gen 4 starters*. You could try to find the thread/poll where it was decided and read why these were chosen.
  2. Game balance. While having more starters gives the player more options, it makes it that much more difficult to balance the gyms, etc.
  3. The Pokédex. We're using a smallish Pokédex, so no guarantees that all the other starters will even be in the game. Most were probably cut due to other pkmn being too similar (e.g. Blaziken v. Infernape)
  4. The actual selection scripts and images. These are already written/made, and I doubt they'll be redone to compensate for the additional starters.
  5. Planning (again). Planning has started to shift away from what starters to use, and other things are being worked on instead (which indicates to me that it's gonna stay this way).
(I probably missed 1 or 2 others as well)

Hopefully that sums it up succinctly enough

*the video demo of the selection script shows gen 1 starters, but I suspect those could just be temporary choices
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Old 1 Week Ago (5:55 PM).
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I think it might be interesting if, on your way to Dad, you pass through a 'shifty' part of the city with dark alleys, maybe kind of overgrown with vines and in disrepair, cracked sidewalks, etc, with a chance for a wild pokemon to attack you. Particularly grimer and city type pokemon, some cat and pigeon pokemon, even feral parrots, dogs, and zigzagoon as a raccoon.... Or a human thief could attack you, then back off when they realize who you are 'related to'. To help build up your dad's reputation, if common criminals are afraid of him.

Just an idea.
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