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  #4126    
Old August 28th, 2013 (2:51 AM). Edited August 28th, 2013 by umbryan.
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umbryan umbryan is offline
     
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by voltianqueen View Post
    I wish I could snuggle my lady >__< She is so beautiful. I hope I can visit her next summer, or as early as spring. If my parents will let me... e__e

    I dunno if I'd say I'm lonely exactly, just...wanting to be near!
    Awwwwzzz! I hope so too! That must be tough! Does she like live on campus?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
    I for one think that everyone should be self-sufficient/independent and have realistic direction in life (not become a rockstar or live on disability), that is, know what their aspirations, and some, even if they are vague, goals in life, prior to starting a serious relationship.

    I for one am not into the whole ephemeral relationships that are carefree and artificial "love yas" are thrown out there the entire month, if that, the relationship lasts. Though, these types of artificial relationships may last much longer, and that it especially why, for those who don't want this, to establish themselves in the ways described above to avoid being stuck in a one of these! Also, never date out of loneliness, that is another sure-fire way to end up here!

    I am enjoying my two-year hiatus from dating, as of this month, and I feel as if I am more able to establish and accomplish my goals without having to deal with another person. This time in my life is about me, only. I would suggest others do the same at this juncture, assuming you are just a few years out of high school.

    Though, I totally get what you guys are talking about. Having that physical contact with another person is a great and comforting feeling. I just know it's best not to rely on someone else for my happiness just yet. Though, the time is getting there. I will be ready by April, graduation. Classes started today, and the thought of graduating and moving has just become so much more real. I have devoloped this mindset over the duration of the past two year, and it's just a few more months, 8 or so, until I will be ready for a commitment, after diving back into the whole dating thing. The prospect is exciting. I have realized, it's not about raising your standards in those you date; rather, it's about raising the standards of ourselves first, and dating someone we feel that we deserve. I had a lower opinion of myself then, and dated accordingly, to what I thought that I deserved; though he was attractive, everything else was abysmal! So, that would be my ultimate advice. Date someone you feel like you deserve, and make yourself more deserving!
    You sound so robotic and cold xD "I love yas" and stuff are what make relationships fun xD

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Omicron View Post
    May I join? I'm pro LGBTS all the way. I'm a heterosexual male but can't find myself romantically right now. Well, I'm not sure of anything right now.

    BTW, after reading, reading a lot xD, back in the thread I've concluded that you are all very intelligent, I' ve seen very intelligent discussions and arguments. Hopefully I can get some help here and help others as well. :)
    Welcome! And from what I've been told, the joining process is very informal. All you basically do is introduce yourself, get involved here in discussion, and Shining Raichu will recognize you and put your name on the list.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
    I agree :) People often start off a 'relationship' with a sprint, rather than a walk. They have a date, hang out a few times and are instantly together.

    I knew/dated my current boyfriend for about a month before we were 'in a relationship' and now, 7 months later, we still are. Meanwhile, my friends who rushed too quickly are now doubting themselves. One lasted two months and the other got to about five.

    Of course, everyone is different with that they want in a relationship (or if they want one at all) but I think there is way too much pressure to label someone your boyfriend/girlfriend preemptively... which can just lead to disappointment.

    Welcome Omicron! :D
    Everyone's different and every relationship is different. I've dated guys and the chemistry and attraction was just so high and others, it took longer to gain chemistry. And I can honestly say that neither one of those two situations had a higher success rate than the other.

    And I love yous are fine, you just need to get to a point where you mean it.
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      #4127    
    Old August 28th, 2013 (1:40 PM).
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    Esper Esper is offline
     
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
    I for one think that everyone should be self-sufficient/independent and have realistic direction in life (not become a rockstar or live on disability), that is, know what their aspirations, and some, even if they are vague, goals in life, prior to starting a serious relationship.
    I think that's why people's first relationships usually don't work out in the end, 'cuz lots of first relationships happen when you're young and still figuring out your future.

    Heck, I know a few people in their 20s and 30s who still don't have their futures figured out and are having dating issues because of it.
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      #4128    
    Old August 28th, 2013 (8:09 PM).
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    XIII XIII is offline
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
    I think that's why people's first relationships usually don't work out in the end, 'cuz lots of first relationships happen when you're young and still figuring out your future.

    Heck, I know a few people in their 20s and 30s who still don't have their futures figured out and are having dating issues because of it.
    I used to think I would be some bigshot lawyer or guitar player.

    I decided on herpetologist. I recently discovered this passion and it's lasted way longer than anything else. I think maybe a vet (reptile specialist) would be a good idea but I've heard it's very hard to get into these days. :(

    Everyone I've dated, however, still has cliche answers like: puppy vet, guitar player, football star, cheerleader for the basketball team, super famous author, famous anime drawer lady, etc.
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      #4129    
    Old August 29th, 2013 (3:03 AM).
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    umbryan umbryan is offline
       
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
      I think that's why people's first relationships usually don't work out in the end, 'cuz lots of first relationships happen when you're young and still figuring out your future.

      Heck, I know a few people in their 20s and 30s who still don't have their futures figured out and are having dating issues because of it.
      OMG! Your avatar is adorable xD
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        #4130    
      Old August 29th, 2013 (4:02 PM).
      Mimosa_song Mimosa_song is offline
         
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        Hi, I was wondering if I can join this club. Been looking at it on and off for a while. I support and all for it. I'm not sure I'm heterosexual but anything can be possible. (Though always been heterosexual ) But I like to chat here and meet others. I love helping and I care for others a lot. Nice meeting you all. :)
          #4131    
        Old August 31st, 2013 (12:45 PM).
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        Phantom Phantom is offline
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        I'm seriously starting to think I overestimated that puddle earlier. >:\

        ANYWHO

        Question for people that now live in areas that allow gay marriage. My state, Minnesota, just legalized gay marriage, with the starting date August first. How has allowing gay marriage effected the LGBT community in your area? Are people being more open?

        Because I'm sort of noticing that. People are being way more open with their orientation, I mean, someone flirted with me at the grocery store, and I'm pretty sure I've seen that woman before, since I go to the same store every week. She must live in the area. Just something tells me that she would not have done that a month ago.


        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Mimosa_song View Post
        Hi, I was wondering if I can join this club. Been looking at it on and off for a while. I support and all for it. I'm not sure I'm heterosexual but anything can be possible. (Though always been heterosexual ) But I like to chat here and meet others. I love helping and I care for others a lot. Nice meeting you all. :)
        Nice to meet ya.

        Welcome to the club, Shining will now sing you the theme song.

        *waits*
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          #4132    
        Old August 31st, 2013 (1:12 PM).
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        Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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        We have a theme song? o.O I've never had anybody flirt at me before :\ dunno what that feels like :P
          #4133    
        Old August 31st, 2013 (4:07 PM).
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        Moist Moist is offline
        other in a month When you,
           
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
          Question for people that now live in areas that allow gay marriage. My state, Minnesota, just legalized gay marriage, with the starting date August first. How has allowing gay marriage effected the LGBT community in your area? Are people being more open?
          Well considering the fact that gay marriage isn't legal in Australia and the party that is supporting Gay Marriage probably isn't going to win in the election.... I"ll get back to you in 5-20 years.
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            #4134    
          Old August 31st, 2013 (5:24 PM).
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          I've been lurking for a while now without posting but I felt the necessity.

          Our theme-song;
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            #4135    
          Old September 1st, 2013 (4:40 AM).
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          Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by GreatTornado View Post
          Well considering the fact that gay marriage isn't legal in Australia and the party that is supporting Gay Marriage probably isn't going to win in the election.... I"ll get back to you in 5-20 years.
          Don't worry, I'm gonna vote for them and there seems to be a lot of support for them in my area! I wouldn't write them off just yet - a lot of people don't like Tony Abbott.
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            #4136    
          Old September 1st, 2013 (3:04 PM).
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          Moist Moist is offline
          other in a month When you,
             
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
            Don't worry, I'm gonna vote for them and there seems to be a lot of support for them in my area! I wouldn't write them off just yet - a lot of people don't like Tony Abbott.
            Unfortunately, Australia wants Tony...
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              #4137    
            Old September 1st, 2013 (4:09 PM).
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            U.Flame U.Flame is offline
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            I'm still confused as to which areas allow gay marriage and which areas don't, it's all happening so fast! I actually had a gay marriage discussion with a friend of mine. He said he doesn't have anything against gays but is against gay marriage for complicated reasons. Basically, he thinks it will result in a population decrease. I believe marriage is just a title and won't affect the number of homosexuals nor the amount of couples that want children. There's no reason it shouldn't be legalized.
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              #4138    
            Old September 2nd, 2013 (1:53 AM).
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            Mana Mana is offline
             
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            Quote:
            Originally Posted by U_Flame View Post
            Basically, he thinks it will result in a population decrease.
            I hate to break it to your friend but this is actually a good thing. There are far too many people in the world anyway o_o.

            Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
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              #4139    
            Old September 2nd, 2013 (9:52 PM).
            Moist's Avatar
            Moist Moist is offline
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
              Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
              B-b-but that's impossible! Letting gays marry means that our kids will turn out to be gay and the whole world will will DIE!!!!!!

              That's what I would say anyway.
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                #4140    
              Old September 3rd, 2013 (9:18 AM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
              I hate to break it to your friend but this is actually a good thing. There are far too many people in the world anyway o_o.

              Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
              This is what I try to explain to my dad.

              What is strange is that he was raised Christian, says constantly that creationism is bullcrap and "who knows what happens after death, who knows if god even exists. we should just enjoy life while we can, because no one really knows whats good or bad or if he's even out there".

              Yet... he hates gays. I'm not even allowed to say the word gay.
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                #4141    
              Old September 4th, 2013 (2:57 AM).
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              Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
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              I just... don't understand. The mind boggles so much that Australia wants Tony Abbott. They all know he's mad as a cut snake, it's ridiculous. There is no alternative so bad that Tony Abbott is the correct option. The worst part of it is that Kevin Rudd finally changed his position on gay marriage, just when it was too late.
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                #4142    
              Old September 4th, 2013 (7:12 PM). Edited September 5th, 2013 by Kanzler.
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              Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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              Come to Canada, bro. We're pretty much the same country - Anglo, immigrants, population, economy, huge amounts of territory where nobody lives, the natives we forget about, proud military traditions, and plenty of uranium! Same-sex marriage included.

              -----

              So I'm cruising along the internet and PC and find myself on r/genderqueer. Then I read this:

              Quote:
              But after puberty hit, my peers became quite vocal about how I wasn't a normal girl. Girls don't play video games and read Plato. Girls wear bras, talk about boys, put on makeup, dress pretty and torture themselves with hot wax. I was puzzled because I just couldn't see the point in doing all those things. Bras are uncomfortable. Baggy clothes are more practical. Waxing hurts. Putting on makeup is boring.

              I became widely known at school as "the tranny" and I was soon convinced there was something wrong with me.
              Don't play video games and read Plato, wtf? Who makes that **** up? That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time. Really, Plato? Philosophizing is a man's work? I've honestly never heard of that one before. And a personality like that --> tranny? Those are some messed up assumptions with some messed up people involving someone who needs to take a damn good look at the rest of the world instead of those who happen to be in her immediate community before making sweeping conclusions like that. There is more to life than what the people physically around you think.

              rant over. More serious and controversial question:

              We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people? If not - when is it appropriate not to take someone seriously? I know this is a touchy subject for those of us personally invested, but it's not targeted at anybody in particular and if we can agree "all" is an overstatement, is it wrong to doubt the others?

              http://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/1lqfqj/so_theres_nothing_wrong_with_me_after_all/
                #4143    
              Old September 6th, 2013 (11:34 AM).
              Mimosa_song Mimosa_song is offline
                 
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                I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

                I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

                Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
                  #4144    
                Old September 7th, 2013 (3:12 AM).
                Mana's Avatar
                Mana Mana is offline
                 
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Mimosa_song View Post
                I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

                I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

                Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
                I... I think I missed the question here.


                Quote:
                We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people?
                Oooh touchy subject here. Should we take everyone seriously - I think it depends on what counts as serious or not.

                For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

                Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.

                Did that even make sense?...
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                  #4145    
                Old September 7th, 2013 (12:46 PM).
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                Phantom Phantom is offline
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
                For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

                Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.
                I don't think it's the fact of being encouraged or discouraged, I think it's more of showing support. Support doesn't have to mean encourage. Support just means that you tell the person that you're there for them, whatever their choice is. Support, I think, is more important than encouragement. Encouragement in a situation like finding your sexuality, or figuring out your gender, sounds like peer pressure to me.

                You mentioned that you know gay people who claim to be bi, well I know straight people that claim to be bi or even gay to get attention. (In my opinion these people are sick, but I digress) There are cliques where being gay is interpreted as not really cool, but attention grabbing. Where people see you as different and want to cling to you because they think its cool. Part of this is why when I told my mother I was questioning, she asked if it was someone elses' influence. She said I was just saying it because so and so was doing it.

                Every situation is different though. But support is what everyone needs. Encouragement, discouragement... they make it sound like there's an option, like they're making a choice on whether to try out for the 'insert sport' team. You need to support them, not their change. Don't point out there differences, they are who they are, they are just discovering who they are.


                Speaking of discovering.

                So...

                My heads a bit swirly right now.

                Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

                But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

                And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

                Demi romantic kept coming up.

                Anyone willing to offer assistance?
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                  #4146    
                Old September 7th, 2013 (1:56 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by Alice.
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                Alice Alice is offline
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
                So...

                My heads a bit swirly right now.

                Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

                But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

                And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

                Demi romantic kept coming up.

                Anyone willing to offer assistance?
                I went through the exact same thing through most of last year. I kept trying to figure out exactly who I was. I wanted to narrow it down to a single label that I could confidently say was me. After coming out to a lot of my friends, and trying to explain all of the nuances of my sexuality to them, I realized... who cares? Frankly, I don't, and I seriously doubt anyone that I'm not romantically engaged with does either. I guess I've just become jaded, but it's so much easier to just say **** it, and be me the way I want to be. If anyone asks, I say I'm bi, which is entirely inaccurate, but it's just not worth worrying about it, and it's certainly not worth explaining it to people that have never heard of a sexuality other than gay, straight, or bi.

                At first, I thought I was straight, then realized I was gay, then I decided that I'm probably just bi, then realized I must be homoromantic polysexual gynephiliac, who's actual preference changes every few months. I think you can see why I stopped trying. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's how I'm dealing with the exact same situation. I also have Asperger's as well, although I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

                This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
                  #4147    
                Old September 7th, 2013 (2:26 PM).
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                Phantom Phantom is offline
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                Quote:
                Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
                This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
                Naw, I am too. Like. I don't know... Facts. I tend to think in facts a lot of the time with something, and the thing is there is no black and white when it comes to things, at least, this thing. It's why I read blogs, to see how others feel, and to see if their conclusions and experiences match my own.

                Though demiromantic seems to be the answer... this week. >:/
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                  #4148    
                Old September 7th, 2013 (6:21 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by Entermaid.
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                Entermaid Entermaid is offline
                   
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                  I'll butt into this conversation as well.

                  Being a gay man with virtually zero sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those. The hypocrisy of it all for gay individuals that harbor this sentiment against bisexuals, "how could a person possibly be attracted to both genders" is that these sort of sentiments mirror ignorant comments about homosexuality. For instance, a good number of people still believe that being gay is a choice of lifestyle, when, in most cases, it is an inherent quality of which the only choice is either to suppress the quality or not. Essentially, like a straight person choosing to suppress their attraction for the opposite sex in place of someone of the same sex. We don't see many straight people making that choice now do we? (Though, there is always the exception)

                  The only sexual identification I sometimes question the intentions are for those that claim to be panromantic while simultaneous not being pansexual or asexual. For instance, if someone is only sexually attracted to men, I am not quite convinced that dating a woman is good for either person in the relationship. So, this criticism is not coming from a place of disgust or condemnation, but rather, as a voice of concern that the implication of this behavior engenders needless disappointment and hurt feelings. Though, it is troubling and even frustrating to an extent when people want to be different or stand out by being a sexual minority when it's not completely genuine, like my cousin who is a die-hard liberal stating, "Oh, I was very moved by Brokeback Mountain...now I'd really be interested in trying out being a lesbian." (Might I add, she is a 30-year-old grown woman). I really think many of these people just don't understand the complexities of sexuality, even if they are extremely tolerant and accepting of others. So no, I don't harbor disgust for those that falsely represent their sexuality, rather it's just a nuisance. I will most likely ignore this behavior or gently advise them to reconsider how their actions affect others, especially those that they are romantically involved with on a false pretense if I know the person well enough.
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                    #4149    
                  Old September 7th, 2013 (7:22 PM).
                  Kanzler's Avatar
                  Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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                  Ehh, nuisance, disgust, tomato, tomato. I feel you.
                    #4150    
                  Old September 9th, 2013 (9:54 PM).
                  New Eden's Avatar
                  New Eden New Eden is offline
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                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
                  That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time.
                  I think there's a bunch of people who miss the point of the whole thing. It's not that you don't conform to the roles of your assigned gender, but what really matters in the end is how you feel inside. I understand OP talks about this later on, but thought that was kinda irritating myself.

                  Honestly I take people seriously depending on how themselves are serious about their sexual orientation/gender identity. Most folk here seem to, so I don't see it as an issue. I am a tad bit skeptical of how seriously people take demi- into question though, kind of as if they haven't challenged themselves about it. It's particularly a description that I merely see as a preference for plenty of people, myself included. If it seems like I'm attempting to put some people down, I'm not, it's just my two cents. Maybe it's just my personal preference, since I seem to prefer to use definitions instead of labels, I don't know.
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