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Old December 2nd, 2018 (4:02 AM). Edited December 2nd, 2018 by LadyJirachu.
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LadyJirachu LadyJirachu is offline
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I needed to vent this out. Its really getting to me.

See, i'm used to getting fancy gifts on the holidays. ITS NOT CUZ OF GREED!!! Its because of my aspergers, and difficulties with change, that I have a hard time not getting a lot of amazing gifts on christmas and birthdays. Especially christmas. I feel sad about being poor too and getting that fancy stuff gets my spirits up :(

But, this year, my mom (i won't talk about why....) talked about my wanting gifts being 'greedy' and me being a 'bad person' and was COMPLETELY not acknolaging the fact that i'm an autistic person with problems with change. And before this year other christmases were never like that.

I feel so effin' angry. I wish the holidays wouldn't even COME because of all this. I hate being judged as a bad person so much and i wish i could just change who i am. Now i feel awful i want any gifts at all. This isn't fair. I'm even thinking of heavy medicating myself throught the month just so the holidays don't lead me to harming myself or something.

I hope people understand that this is my autism thats making me suffer over this. I really hope thats what it is too.

I need some help/advice :( If anyone needs to know more about why this is going on feel free to pm me too. Cuz theres some personal stuff that came up that i am not allowed to post publicly but it may help people understand whats going on better if they have pm chats with me about it....

Also, i plan on keeping the window with this post open so my mom can see. She's causing me so much distress I can't even enjoy the holiday season at all. I'm refusing to make any more christmas blingees over this too and its making me feel sick. I don't want to completely hate a wonderful holiday just cuz i'm such a mentally ill person :(

AND I REALLY HOPE PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM DON'T START JUDGING ME NEXT. I'm really sensitive. I hurt easily. And i despise the idea of being a bully so much :'( please understand....
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Hiyo, i'm Jirachu~<3 Kawaii Pikachu and Jirachi cross, though now my favorite Pokemon character is Korrina; and I crush HARD on her lemme tell ya lol :3
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Old December 2nd, 2018 (7:55 AM). Edited December 2nd, 2018 by gimmepie.
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gimmepie gimmepie is offline
 
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I think leaving the window open and hoping she sees isn't helping your cause any and you're better trying to have a calm discussion with her about why you're upset. I know from my own experiences that change is extremely uncomfortable, but it's also unavoidable and while it's going to be unpleasant you're probably going to have to live with it.

It wasn't right of your mum to attack you for something she knows is hard for you to control, but by the same token, if you're poor then you have to understand it's rarely wise or practical to spend globs of money on a single person. I understand why you're upset, but autism or not, you're still an adult and that means having to deal with adult problems. Try to be thankful for what you do get and just enjoy spending the holiday with your friends and family.

Disappointment and enjoyment don't have to be mutually exclusive.
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Old December 2nd, 2018 (12:25 PM).
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LadyJirachu LadyJirachu is offline
Thanks for the pretty av Rainbow x3;
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Playing with Korrina :3
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Nature: Naive
Posts: 2,304
My and my mom worked things out :) I'm glad someone posted in this thread. Thanks. I may lock it but i might also be curious what others will say. In general, i need to prepare myself for if next year is the same (even if i did end up getting gifts i want in the end this year).

I didn't mean to start a scene, but, yeah, its hard when you have to change something you knew all your life :( For nearly 30 years o_o;;
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~Number One Korrina Fan Girl~

I didn't make this but its wonderful and beautiful :3 x3

Hiyo, i'm Jirachu~<3 Kawaii Pikachu and Jirachi cross, though now my favorite Pokemon character is Korrina; and I crush HARD on her lemme tell ya lol :3
Jackster is a good friend of mine on this forum so be nice to him please.
I wanna make other good friends here too ^_^
Being girly is wonderful!!!!! :D


Kimi is my big sister and i'm a pokemon fan 4 life :3
http://thekorrinafanklub.proboards.com/
Please join my forum :D
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