Opinion on Story

Hey guys, so I'm making a game based on Canada and I wanted to know what you guys think of the story and if you have any suggestions to make it better.

"Candor, a region of wonders and tranquility, has become home to hostility in recent years. With the rise of a new organization going by the name Team Polaris, many of begun worrying about what the future of Candor will entail. Elite 4 members have left their posts at the Pokemon League in order to keep the peace while Gym Leaders have banded together to figure out what the true motive of Team Polaris might be. Meanwhile, in the small town of Ironshore, a child has finally earned permission to start a journey in hopes of finding out what truly happened to his brother. When Professor Chestnut entrusts you with a brand new starter Pokemon, he also asks you to fill out a Pokedex in order to truly discover what attributes contribute to giving a Pokemon its typing. Along your journey, you will encounter many people who new your brother, most of which say he was an excellent Pokemon Trainer which leads you to challenging the Pokemon League to find more clues as to what might of happened to your brother. Or, will you fade into the void that is Polaris..."

I think this is a good blurb for the game, and the general idea sounds really cool. If you were going for an interesting synopsis to make people interested in playing your game, you've hit the nail on the head.

But I hope that this is not all of your notes for the story ie you have more notes stashed away on character development and specific story beats, right?

I like that missing brother plot. Sounds intriguing. The rest sounds like a generic hack tbh

Stupid Dinosaur said:

I think this is a good blurb for the game, and the general idea sounds really cool. If you were going for an interesting synopsis to make people interested in playing your game, you've hit the nail on the head.

But I hope that this is not all of your notes for the story ie you have more notes stashed away on character development and specific story beats, right?

Click to expand...

yea i have notes for every character and why they're in the story rather than they just end up in the cross fire