I haven't actually asked to join yet... May I?

Thanks for the welcome, it's nice to meetcha! That's true, labels are sometimes unnecessary :)

And yes, following up on what Psycho Yuffie said do we request to join the club or just, post lol?

So, I have a fun little question to ask everyone.

Do any of you have friends that deviate from "straight" that act like it is their duty to remind everyone around him or her of their sexuality?!? (Being a bit flip here, I know!)

This has always been one of my pet peeves. Allowing sexuality to domineer one's life and personality. And no, this is not a jab at outgoing flamboyant gay men who are being themselves, or anything of that sort; it's often assumed that's what I am referencing so I be taking a preemptive strike :p ...Rather, it is when a person has to make a quip or commentary about an unrelated topic and apply to how they are gay, bi, ect. frequently. Or, act super paranoid that everyone is committing a hate crime against him or her ( Some people don't know what a 'hate crime' actually is!) Or have twenty rainbow flags in their room, whether we are talking shirts, hats, or flags. Isn't one or two enough.

I just see LGBT people creating an identity on being a sexual minority, when yeah, it's a part of them, but it is not a substantial quality that should play a heavy hand in manifesting the person that they evolve into as they age.

Along with this topic, I often think of "pride". I don't think that LGBT people should be ashamed nor take pride in being a sexual minority. though, the case can be made for the many hardships they have overcome as opposed to let victimize them. The same should apply to any biological or innate quality; being born with a trait doesn't mean you owe yourself a congratulations. However, how we address our biological traits is a different matter. For a few friends, and MANY acquaintances, there seems to be the notion that dancing topless in booty shorts as they overly sexualize the quality of being a sexual minority, is a good representation of themselves, as well as other sexual minorities that belong to that group.

I would much rather see a pride group that depicted LGBT people as the ordinary people we are. Though, certainly we can stick with 'Pride', a translation of self-acceptance would establish a less defiant and flashy tone, of which conveys counter-culture. In reality, we should be conveying an integration of those who are sexual minorities with the rest of the population. Though LGBT people have not been embraced by the general public up until recently, there needs to be a push away from segregating and alienating the gay community from the rest of the world.

I would love to see a pride parade in which there is dignity as opposed to self-degradation. Everyone wearing clothes, first off! They can still have sparkle or shine, but strutting around in ones underwear is nothing to be proud of, it's like, "hey we are proud that we are sexualized and promiscuous!". Rather, highlight the LGBT parents, whom are always upstaged by the loudest and raunchiest floats. Have LGBT people walking with their own parents. Have newly weds or partners walking hand-in-hand down the street. Feature the many organizations that help with HIV and AIDS treatment and awareness and Homeless LGBT Youth Organizations. Feature politicians and advocates of substantive policies that affects the lives of those who are LGBT. Class-up the drag queens, have them look like a million bucks - not hoochie mama's. Feature transgender people, who have undergone countless therapies and portray them as ordinary people who are trying to feel "normal", rather than make them feel uncomfortable around the sexualize atmosphere.

We should not be proud or highlight the fact that we are attracted to the same sex and that we share our hot bodies with each other. That is essentially all I got out of the one and only pride event I will ever go to. I just felt completely let down, and downright embarrassed by the portrayal. And, this affects how others will judge me; these groups should be more responsible with how they conduct pride events and really analyze how their actions affect LGBT people.

Rant, rant, rant. I know. I usually keep these opinions to myself for obvious reason; I thought that this would be a good group to open this dialogue with. Also, welcome new members :)

Hi Erika and Yuffie! :) You don't need permission to join, someone will add you to the list as soon as they can but until then just post and chat and tell us about yourselves!

Fenneking, I kind of agree with what you're saying. People at pride often treat it as a party, an excuse to misbehave, and forget that they are (technically) representing a lot of people. Often it is a small segment of gay/bi/whatever people that the general public remember, and sadly some people adhere to stereotypes very well.

As to people who play up their sexuality, it's really a huge annoyance (and definite turn off). I feel that there's a lot of fakery, you only have to look at the gay community and notice 'straight-acting', and I have no doubt there are people who do the complete opposite and act far camper than they actually are.

Idk if it's people liking the attention, but it's not something specific to homo/bisexuals. Straight people constantly re-affirm their sexuality, since a lot still think it is disgusting to be viewed as anything different.

Ok thanks for clearing that up :)

I completely agree with that statement, I can't tell you the number of nice girls I met who constantly feel the need to reaffirm their sexual orientation by not only stereotyping their own actions but CONSTANLY talking about how attracted they are to women to the point where they're acting like a female version of Charlie Sheen. Which, hey, if you wanna have fun that's great! I'm not that type of person and I won't be considering you for a long-term relationship and it's a huge turn off. It's like they feel the need to advertize their love the same-sex to the point where instead of saying "I think women are attractive." they become really vulgar which I don't think gives the LGBTQ+ community a good name.
I hope I'm not rubbing anybody the wrong way I don't mean to start any arguments this is just my opinion! ^_^

And I tried to be as vague as I could on the sexual attraction thing since I know PC is pretty strict on what you say when you discuss things like that so I hope I didn't break any rules!

Erika, as long as you stay clear of describing actual sex you'll probably be ok here! :) Discussing attraction/crushes is perfectly fine! ^_^.

Awesome! Ellen Page is hot.

She's awesome in X-Men, and Whip It was on TV recently.

There's such a huge variety of films she was in aha. Hard Candy was pretty good, mentally scarring though :P.

I'm sitting here trying to think of current, lesbian actresses and I'm really struggling. Compared to the amount of out, gay actors it's an odd imbalance.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Just sitting in the corner with Ricky Martin c:

haha, let me think of some without Googling...

Portia DeRossi!!! I love her. If I were a lesbian...
Jane Lynch - She is a great comedian and dramatic actress.
Rosie O'Donnell - She was out before she came out, hah.

Lindsay Lohan - she counts as one tenth lesbian?
Jodie Foster - She is like counts as half, since she is sort of out?!?!
That red-head from Sex in the City doesn't count. "It's a choice."

All together, I can only think of 3.6 lesbian actresses.

I love Jane Lynch. <3

But, yeah, we could use with some more lesbian actresses. Not to mention some trans ones too.

Most, if not all trans actresses play a transgender person or a tranny. I have yet to see one be treated like the gender they identify as. Unless you can think of any transgender people who simply play a man or woman.

According to my TV it is Transgender Awareness day! Currently watching an interview about an ex-soldier who is transitioning with the support of his wife :).

Here is a list of lesbian actresses from imdb.. sadly I don't know half of them ;_;
There's some that you guys mentioned as well:
http://www.imdb.com/list/eisyeLGkASE/



Ah ok thanks for clearing that up! I feel so innocent now teehee! (DON'TBEFOOLED) lol.

Crushes, hm? Ellen Page is cute.. I was gonna say that I never liked Juno (don't wanna get into that sorry to anyone who enjoys it lol) so I don't know any of her other films but I forgot she was in Inception and I did like her character :3 For me, there's definitely...


Kim HyunA from the kpop group 4Minute <3 My god, I cannot tell you how much I love this girl. If you don't listen to kpop I KNOW you should have at least seen the video for Gangnam Style, because she was the red headed girl on the subway. Before I even knew her name I saw that video and was like "OMG who is THAT?!?" lol.

But yeah I didn't know it was Transgender Awareness day yesterday, thank you SwiftSign! Sorry I'm late but Happy Transgender Awareness day to anyone who is transgender, an S.O. of a transgender, or a family/friend/any supporter :3 love you all!

Why the hell can't I find someone, anyone?!

Honestly, the local pool for lesbians here sucks.

Anyone else encountering something like this? Someone told me fish in the sea and all that, well my response was, it's not a flipping sea, it's a puddle.

Don't complain to me, you live in Minneapolis! Try livin' in the middle of nowhere :p

Some tips:
Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene.

Instead

Join a LGBT activity group of some sort. For instance, a lesbian book club. Wow, that example sounds like a lame stereotype :p

Let your friends set you up. Sometimes, the interpersonal network will allow you to meet new people, but keep in mind that your friends don't actually have to date the person they set you up with! The plus side is that you may have common interests and you get a third-party perspective of the prospective suitor, though there's some bias, but it can be more accurate than a personal testimony.

Do the online dating thang! (Don't use POF [speaking of fish in the sea] or craiglist, ect.)
Further to that point, I would invest in a subscription of Match. Usually it's a smaller pool of people, but they all generally seek a long term relationship and are willing to make an investment to do so. The site is a filter in of itself. Though, Okcupid, is simply that, 'okay', if you can't afford the subscription, use that with some filter tools to get rid of the bad eggs.

Lastly, this may annoy you a tad, be patient and don't force anything. I have done that when I have felt like my options were limited, and I have many regrets for doing so.

I get that Minneapolis is supposedly the 'gayest city liek everr' but that doesn't mean that it's like you walk down the street and just can pick out the gay... okay, yes you can but that's not what I mean.

I wouldn't touch the bar scene with a hundred foot pole.

Seriously.

And that's probably like, ninety-nine percent of the problem right there. The bar crowd is HUGE around here, and I don't drink... or dance... or even walk on the same side of the street as a club... or ever been to a...

Notmything.

Don't know any real life groups. But actually, might look into it. Can't hurt, and I can't say I've really researched much. Been a lone wolf. Hooowwl. Okay I'm done.

I have a total of ONE gay friend. That's it. Out of all the people I know. One. One.

And he can't even find himself a boyfriend.

And online dating... last time I met someone from online it was not a pleasant experience.


Am I just being picky? I guess I'm just facing that point in my life where I need to go out of my way to meet people. Aside from work, family, and my circle of friends, I don't get to meet anyone really.

Kind of in the same boat, and I just began expressing an interesting in having a partner.

I have absolutely no friend circle at all concerning in-person, and I haven't since I was thirteen, so I guess that's one thing.

My situation seems to be a little more crunched side considering that I'm pre-HRT though... but I have the fortune of group sessions starting in the fall so luck may come my way in some shape then.

Well, I think many of us have had bad online experiences. It's best used as a date making tool rather than a dating tool. As suggested, I would go to a reputable site, in which, all or most of the users are serious in their pursuits for a long-term/life-long relationship if they meet the right person. Of course people will lie and disappoint you...it's the internet :p
That is why I would say, it is a date setting tool, and should really only be used to help you meet someone in person in order to then access if you are compatible. An online/long distance relationship should not be the main function of the site. It's all about how you use it. Though you might go on five terrible date per one promising one, it might be worth it. As you said, you might have to put yourself out there. Though, it's a lot easier to say than to do in that respect.

Yeah... that moment when you meet them.

And they're a guy.

Nope.

Ah, people who are interested in relationships. I think it's really cute actually.

I wish I could find a way to fix my intimacy issues so I could do that. I'm petty happy with single life altogether though.

I doubt that happens often, especially those who pay for a subscription. Though, you have a legitimate concern about meeting a total stranger, especially not knowing if they are physically the person that they are portraying. In your case, perhaps you might want to do a phone call, or better yet, a short and sweet Skype conversation. That way, you might be able to reduce your in-person dating anxiety.

I don't know why I think I am qualified to give dating advice tonight. But, I guess my tips can't be any worse than the crap Patti Stanger spews, and she actually gets paid for her disservice :p

Eh, you're 18, there's no huge rush. Plus, you shouldn't feel obligated or anything to be relationship-minded. You have plenty of time to come to that conclusion. I personally have been on a hiatus of which will last another year once I move, and I mean a complete hiatus from physical and emotional bonding. It's good to know how to be single or independent, especially while figuring out what you want to do with your own life. During last year and through graduation coming up next Spring, I feel like I needed to establish my own identity and be able to relocate freely without being tied down by romantic baggage.

That sounded so condescending lmao Moogles I love you so much.

I would like to have a girlfriend, but I don't see it happening any time soon. The dating world is pretty harsh and honestly seems to be a lot more of a hassle than it's worth.

I'm happy with my current relationship, even though it is a long distance one. This is my first long distance relationship and I've heard they're hard to maintain but I think communication is key especially in LDRs so I try to communicate with my partner as much as possible. It does frustrate me a little sometimes because it feels like I'll never be able to see him in person anytime soon but who knows honestly, I'm not trying to be too optimistic but I don't want to be negative either.

Anyway I would like to join this club. I'm bisexual and have been so since middle school. I'm not open about it irl but there have been a few close friends that I've told, and that's all I plan to tell for now.