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Old April 30th, 2016 (6:29 PM).
Archy Archy is offline
 
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Alright guys and girls, here's the WIP for the PCL coverage article, feel free to say and correct anything that you should, by the way. I wrote some things, but it's dead unfinished and there are some things missing, like the banner, battle reviews and of course, tons of grammar mistakes.

Spoiler:
Heelloo there ladies and gentlemens! And welcome to Pokecommunity's League coverage! But, I'm sure that some of you aren't familiar with this, so I'll explain what Pokecommunity's League is, by the way, it's PCL for short and I'm going to be refering to it as PCL through the article, it's a long name anyway.

PCL is the forum's competitive battling hub. It is collaborative in that all participants compete together in teams called clans, while it is competitive in that the clans compete against each other for a variety of prizes big and small, including the title of PCL Champion.

The PokéCommunity League sub-forum hosts all League events on a logistical level, while the PokéCommunity Battle Server is where the actual battles and events take place.

PCL consists of 4 clans of 6 members. Each clan is led by a clan head who acts as the chief organizer and leader for the clan. (The specific responsibilities of clan heads are outlined in the relevant sections, but in general, clan heads make executive decisions when necessary and can also organize events like intra-clan competitions or soliciting challenges.) Clan rosters and contact information can be found in the Clan Directory.

The League's schedule is built around the major event on the League's calendar, the PCL Championship. The PCL Championship lasts 6 weeks. Upon its completion, the League transitions into the Offseason, which lasts 12 weeks, where clan rosters readjust and clans participate in more varied and casual events. There are 3 PCL Championships each year.

If you are interested, and you want to know more about PCL, I'll leave you the information thread here.


Alright! I think that explains everything here. However, I didn't named the clans, the protagonists on this whole thing! First we have Ghosts of Perdition, they are the champions from the last PCL season and their clan is represented by Aegislash. The second clan is Majestic Milotics, represented by Milotic. Our third clan is Black Magic, represented by Darkrai. And last but not least we have Team Orb, represented by Castform.

With that said, it's time to get into the cool part, and the most important part of PCL. The battles! I won't give a review of every single battle that we had so far, but I'll make a quick rundown on the battles that we had, and mention the position of every single clan, just to keep you updated. There are some battles that will be reviewed, of course. But not every single one of them, that would be way too long and tedious to read.


(Okay, here I want to add some kind of list or something with the battles that we had, and the result, then I'll give a quick review of the situation overall. And add the battle analysis right at the end, keep in mind that it's a WIP and I'm trying to see if I can make it an interesting read, of course there's a lot to explain on the first article, but if there's anything that I can resume, let me know.)
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  #2    
Old May 1st, 2016 (6:21 AM).
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bobandbill bobandbill is offline
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Couple quick comments, I ran out of time to do a full proofread:
- in general the content here seems fine thus far. Good start!
- Need an excerpt (short sentence or two describing the article). I believe Kirby is on the cover image area for this (see skype convos).
- Do clans have any team banners or images for their group? Could consider displaying them in the article if they exist. Not sure about any other image that would fit.
- Use "PokéCommunity" in all instances (sometimes you didn't have a capital C or an accented e).
- In most cases, numbers smaller than 100 should be written out (so three > 3). Some people apply this rule to numbers smaller than 10 instead, but either way this covers a bunch.
- First paragraph is a bit too rambly for my liking (and I'd rather not exaggerate the 'Hello' or 'gentlemens' - no need for the 's'). No need to explain that PCL is how you will refer to it from now on. Maybe to something like...:
Quote:
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! And welcome to PokéCommunity's League (PCL for short) coverage!
- 2nd paragraph repeats compete/competitive a bit too much, so a minor reword may be in order.
- Link to the Battle Server and PCL subforum when they are mentioned.
Quote:
Alright! I think that explains everything here. However, I didn't named the clans, the protagonists on this whole thing!
'name', although I am tempted to cut this down too (optional): "This time around there are four clans in PCL."

Similarly:
Quote:
There are some battles that will be reviewed, of course. But not every single one of them, that would be way too long and tedious to read.
"We'll review some of the more interesting battles in future articles as well." No need to explain that talking about every battle would suck imo.
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Old May 5th, 2016 (5:49 PM). Edited May 6th, 2016 by Archy.
Archy Archy is offline
 
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Suggestions noted! I'll change everything up when I'm done with the article. As, that I don't have to add anything else. Thanks for your time, this is the WIP for the other part of the article. I think the battle reviews could be good for another kind of articles, it would be way too long if I add them here too.

Spoiler:
At the time of this article, the 3rd week of the championship is starting. We have a tie for the first position when it comes to points, Ghosts Of Perdition and Majestic Milotics have both 450 points, and this could be a decisive week, and it could change the tide of the championship. Things were close between this two since the start, with Milotics winning most of their battles on the first week. That allowed them to close up the gap, and get on the fight for the 1st place. Ghosts were leading since the start, they ended up with a good position after the Offseason. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the most interesting week that we had so far.

The third clan on the fight is Black Magic, they kinda managed to stay on the fight. But they are a bit far from the first place with 375 points. They didn't really had a bad start. But last week got a bit tricky, and that costed them a bit. Maybe they end up winning this week and joining the fight for the first place. But, the last clan, Team Orb, is way, behind from the first place with 300 points. They struggled this last two weeks on their battles, that costed them a lot. They could recover from those bad weeks now, and maybe fight for the 3rd place. That would be interesting to watch. Let's hope for the best, people!

From my point of view, as somebody who was on both seasons of PCL. I can say that, this season is a lot closer than the first one, 3 of 4 clans have a chance for the lead, and things could change from day to night. If those battles go as expected, that is. Luck is a weird thing, and you never know how it's going to work. If you have time, and you want to see something different. I would recommend you to keep track of PCL, at least for this week. Who knows, maybe you find a new interest! Maybe you don't, but I think it would be a nice event to follow and talk about, we don't have a lot of competition around here and at least for me, it's nice to see some of it.

Well then! that's all for today! Thanks for reading this article, please let me know your thoughts about it below, on the comments. I hope you people stay tuned for the next part! With that said, it's my time to leave. Have a good day, afternoon or night!
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Old May 5th, 2016 (10:26 PM).
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gimmepie gimmepie is offline
 
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I'll do a more thorough read later, but one thing that jumps out to me is that you use the term "costed" a lot and I think "cost" reads better/makes more sense. I'd also recommend trying to vary your writing a bit because you fall into the same trap I do where you use a lot of the same words and phrases over and over.
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Old May 6th, 2016 (4:14 AM).
Archy Archy is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
I'll do a more thorough read later, but one thing that jumps out to me is that you use the term "costed" a lot and I think "cost" reads better/makes more sense. I'd also recommend trying to vary your writing a bit because you fall into the same trap I do where you use a lot of the same words and phrases over and over.
Yeah, that's true. I'm going to read it again and see how I fix that!
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  #6    
Old May 6th, 2016 (6:36 PM).
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bobandbill bobandbill is offline
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Changes for the second part are in red and bold. Things I put in strikethrough should imo be removed. Note that a lot of full stops/commas have also been changed, so check those.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archy;9228640We have a tie for the first position when it comes to points[B
.[/B] Ghosts Of Perdition and Majestic Milotics have both 450 points. and This could be a decisive week, and it could which would change the tide of the championship. Things were close between this two since the start, with Milotics winning most of their battles on the first week. That allowed them to close up the gap, and get on the fight for the 1st place. Ghosts were leading since the start; they ended up with a good position after the off-season. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the most interesting week that we had so far.

The third clan on the fight is Black Magic. They kinda somewhat managed to stay on the fight. But they are a bit far from the first place with 375 points. They didn't really had a bad start. But last week got a bit tricky, and that costed them a bit. Maybe they end up winning this week They still have a chance to make with up wins this week, and joining the fight for the first place. But, the last clan, Team Orb, is way, behind from the first place with 300 points. They struggled this these last two weeks on their battles, that costed them a lot. They could recover from those bad weeks now, and maybe fight for the 3rd place. That would be interesting to watch. Let's hope for the best, people!

From my point of view, as somebody who was on both seasons of PCL. I can say that, this season is a lot closer than the first one. 3 of 4Three of four clans have a chance for the lead, and things could change from day to night overnight. If those battles go as expected, that is. Luck is a weird thing, and you never know how it's going to work. If you have time, and you want to see something different, I would recommend you to keep track of PCL, at least for this week. Who knows, maybe you find a new interest! Maybe you don't, but I think it would be a nice event to follow and talk about, we don't have a lot of competition around here and at least for me, it's nice to see some of it.

Well then! that's all for today! Thanks for reading this article, please let me know your thoughts about it below, on the comments. I hope you people stay tuned for the next part! With that said, it's my time to leave. Have a good day, afternoon or night!
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  #7    
Old May 8th, 2016 (7:45 PM). Edited May 9th, 2016 by Archy.
Archy Archy is offline
 
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Alright people, I edited everything out and I think it's fine. Feel free to point anything that I missed out.

Spoiler:
Hello there ladies and gentlemens! And welcome to PokéCommunity's League (PCL for short) coverage! But, I'm sure that some of you aren't familiar with this, so I'll explain what PokéCommunity's League is.

PCL is the forum's competitive battling hub. It is collaborative in that all participants compete together in teams called clans, while it is competitive in that the clans compete against each other for a variety of prizes big and small, including the title of PCL Champion.

PCL consists of 4 clans of 6 members. Each clan is led by a clan head who acts as the chief organizer and leader for the clan.

The League's schedule is built around the major event on the League's calendar, the PCL Championship. The PCL Championship lasts 6 weeks. Upon its completion, the League transitions into the Offseason, which lasts 12 weeks, where clan rosters readjust and clans participate in more varied and casual events. There are 3 PCL Championships each year.

If you are interested, and you want to know more about PCL, I'll leave you the information thread here.


Alright! I think that explains everything here. However, I didn't name the clans, the protagonists of this whole thing. First we have Ghosts of Perdition, they are the champions from the last PCL season and their clan is represented by Aegislash. The second clan is Majestic Milotics, represented by Milotic. Our third clan is Black Magic, represented by Darkrai. And last but not least we have Team Orb, represented by Castform.

With that said, it's time to get into the cool part, and the most important part of PCL: The battles! Later articles will cover some of the more intense and interesting battles we've had, but for now here's a quick rundown on battles that we've already had.

At the time of this article, the third week of the championship is starting. We have a tie for the first position when it comes to points, Ghosts Of Perdition and Majestic Milotics have both 450 points. This could be a decisive week, which would change the tide of the championship. Things were close between this two since the start, with Milotics winning most of their battles on the first week. That allowed them to close up the gap, and get on the fight for the first place; Ghosts were leading since the start, they ended up with a good position after the off-season. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the most interesting week that we had so far.

The third clan on the fight is Black Magic. They somewhat managed to stay in the fight. But they are a bit far from the first place with 375 points. They didn't really have a bad start. But last week got a bit tricky, and that cost them a bit. They still have a chance to make with up wins this week and join the fight for first place. But, the last clan, Team Orb, is way, behind from the first place with 300 points. They struggled these last two weeks on their battles. They could recover from those bad weeks now, and maybe fight for the 3rd place. That would be interesting to watch. Let's hope for the best, people!

From my point of view, as somebody who was on both seasons of PCL, this season is a lot closer than the first one. Three of four clans have a chance for the lead, and things could change overnight. Luck is a weird thing, and you never know how it's going to work. If you have time, and you want to see something different, I would recommend you to keep track of PCL, at least for this week. Who knows, maybe you will find a new interest!

Well then. That's all for today! Thanks for reading this article, please let me know your thoughts about it below, on the comments. I hope you people stay tuned for the next part!
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  #8    
Old May 8th, 2016 (9:36 PM).
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gimmepie gimmepie is offline
 
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Quote:
Alright! I think that explains everything here. However, I didn't name the clans, the protagonists on this whole thing.
Should be "of this whole thing."

Quote:
First we have Ghosts of Perdition, they are the champions from the last PCL season and their clan is represented by Aegislash. The second clan is Majestic Milotics, represented by Milotic. Our third clan is Black Magic, represented by Darkrai. And last but not least we have Team Orb, represented by Castform.
Not an essential fix, but try to avoid starting sentences with the word "and".

Quote:
With that said, it's time to get into the cool part, and the most important part of PCL. The battles!
important part of PCL: The battles!

Quote:
I won't give a review of every single battle that we had so far, but I'll make a quick rundown on the battles that we had, and mention the position of every single clan, just to keep you updated. There are some battles that will be reviewed, of course. But not every single one of them, that's something for a different series of articles.
There's a lot of redundancy here. You've told us several times that you'll not be covering each battle and you really only need to do so once. Maybe condense it down a bit?

Quote:
At the time of this article, the 3rd week of the championship is starting. We have a tie for the first position when it comes to points, Ghosts Of Perdition and Majestic Milotics have both 450 points.
Third

Quote:
This could be a decisive week, which would change the tide of the championship. Things were close between this two since the start, with Milotics winning most of their battles on the first week. That allowed them to close up the gap, and get on the fight for the 1st place; Ghosts were leading since the start, they ended up with a good position after the off-season. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the most interesting week that we had so far.
First

Quote:
The third clan on the fight is Black Magic. They somewhat managed to stay on the fight. But they are a bit far from the first place with 375 points. They didn't really had a bad start. But last week got a bit tricky, and that cost them a bit. They still have a chance to make with up wins this week and join the fight for the first place.
in
have
"the" is not needed

Quote:
But, the last clan, Team Orb, is way, behind from the first place with 300 points. They struggled these last two weeks on their battles. They could recover from those bad weeks now, and maybe fight for the 3rd place. That would be interesting to watch. Let's hope for the best, people!
Unneeded "the" again
in

Quote:
From my point of view, as somebody who was on both seasons of PCL, this season is a lot closer than the first one. Three of four clans have a chance for the lead, and things could change overnight. Luck is a weird thing, and you never know how it's going to work. If you have time, and you want to see something different, I would recommend you to keep track of PCL, at least for this week. Who knows, maybe you find a new interest!
maybe you will find a new interest!

Quote:
Well then. That's all for today! Thanks for reading this article, please let me know your thoughts about it below, on the comments. I hope you people stay tuned for the next part!
in


Those little things were all I found.
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  #9    
Old May 9th, 2016 (3:07 PM).
Archy Archy is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
There's a lot of redundancy here. You've told us several times that you'll not be covering each battle and you really only need to do so once. Maybe condense it down a bit?
Hm. I just say that one time in the whole article... I readed it and I just mention it that single time. I mentioned it a lot more here.
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Old May 9th, 2016 (7:12 PM).
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Charlie Brown Charlie Brown is offline
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nice job on publishing, Archy! looks great 8)

Moving this to the Published Piece Archive
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Old May 10th, 2016 (2:19 AM).
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I'll have a proper cover image for this later today! :)
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