The Academy

Started by latioslegends August 19th, 2007 10:25 AM
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latioslegends

What worries you masters you

Male
Seen April 4th, 2019
Posted May 8th, 2014
710 posts
16.1 Years
Chapter 1 into the academy

This part three to my other two fics hope you enjoy this one.

Prologue Kyles journal
I have found out Valan is alive I can sense it I was once an academy student now I am a master of it’s of this power but this time I sense his power is getting stronger at lease he does not know where the jewel is as long as he does not figure it out there is a chance to stop them from creating there image of he world.


Sargly and Jason lead Teila and Carth down the forest pathway the stars sparkled in the night sky with the crescent shaped moon.

“So how much farther Sargly?” Teila asked.

“Not much farther there is a entrance around here somewhere look for a black flag I am always getting lost around here.”

“Yeah and I am always the one to get you out of danger.” Jason inputted.

“Look who’s talking I can learn the more stronger powers you are always using weapons ” Sargly quickly said.

“You know why I can’t learn but I am still an teacher at the academy an a better one than you Sargly ” Jason angrily said.

“Ok then bring it I can fight you come on you scared lets see who is stronger ” Sargly was serious he took a stand and prepared to fight.

“Knock it off you two I can see the flag now come on just cool it ” Carth shouted out at them.

“Fine I will prove you wrong one day Sargly ” Jason walked towards the entrance along with the others. Teila and Carth could see that it was a narrow tunnel made of stone flowers grew out of the wall a door then came up Sargly opened it and Teila and Carth were stunned to seee what it was.

“Look at the size of this place I mean whoa what is this place anyway ?” To there astonishment a massive mansion they were in the ceiling was held up by large pillars but this room it was empty.

“Well I tink you like it I can tell by your faces welcome to the academy and this is just the ball room I have called this place home since well lets not talk about it now please be quite there are others in here but sleeping it’s like 1:00 AM.” Sargly told the kids but Carth just stared at all the beautifully made statues of legendary pokemon and paintings of people on the wall.

“Well I’m bushed I got to get some sleep tomorrows the festival and.”

“You mean the festivals here ” Teila interrupted.

“Why yes it is this place is going to be packed tomorrow ” Jason inputted.

“Come on Jason lets get some sleep it’s will be a crazy day tomorrow oh and Teila you and your brother can sleep you know what follow me Jason you get back to your room show them the spot ” Sargly said all excited.

“Ok then aw why does Keith have these events anyway?” Jason walked out of the ball room giving a glance back at Carth.

Sargly then lead the two to the wall on the right side of the room. He knocked three time on it on top an bottom right and left the wall suddenly opened. A stair case was behind it the three went up it to see the come to the roof top of the building.

“Well how do you like?” Sargly asked happily.

“It’s beautiful ” Teila blurted out to see the top of this place over looked the sea and the forest the stars the moon sparkled over the sea.

“Yeah it’s beautiful Tyran would usually sleep up here or just come up here to think he was just so caring for all living things he has taught us so much those powers you saw me use in the forest were from teachings of him.” Sargly happily said.

“Is Tyran here or something?” Carth asked.

“No he was well killed down by a man named Valan I wonder why Tyran did not attack he just stood there I remember it still it was a tragic day for us but his son became the new master.” Sargly was sort sad that moment the two thought Tyran was someone of great inspiration.

“Well at least his son is now able to be like him right?” Teila calmly told Sargly.

“Yes but I worry for him you see now Valan wants him I know Keith has mastered many powers but Valan has done more if we loose Keith then what?” Sargly was all worried think about this Carth could only think who Valan might be.

“Can you answer me something why was that guy back in the woods please I should be able to know ” Carth seriously shouted out.

“I am sorry but I can’t tell you at least not yet please understand all I can say he was well what they call themselves the new order you two are very important especially you Teila you don’t want to get involved now please go to sleep there are a few pillows and blankets in that trunk by the stair case now good night.” Sargly headed down the stairs calmly he opened the trunk as he left.

Carth then turned into his true of a Latios along with Teila into her Latias form and both grabbed a pillow and blanket. The two laid near each other they looked at one another coursilouly.

“This is my first time sleeping as a Latias Carth and probably your two.” Teila kindly whispered to Carth.

“Teila let me ask you one thing are you happy being a Latias?” Carth asked.

“Well it was something that changed my life dramatically but it has it’s downs and it’s ups.” Teila happily replied.

“Like what are it’s downs for you Teila?”

“Like well would are friends like if we see Tyler maybe again would he like us or want to catch us?”

“Teila we have been Latis are entire lives we just never knew.”

“Yes but Carth I am still getting use to it I don’t know any powers and my friend Sarah is going to be scared to see me like this!” Teila shivered from this worry she had she knew her life had change but not by this much.

“Teila please don’t worry listen we will talk about this tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?” she asked.

“Because I know that Sargly and the others here are hiding something from us he said that we are important but for what?” Carth was very curious about this especially why do they did that man in the woods want Teila?

“Like you said we will ask tomorrow maybe Keith might tell now lets get some sleep.” Teila closed here eyes she placed her hand on Carth’s all Carth then closed his the relaxing wind blew across him as he fell asleep.


A Dream

“Where am I?” Carth woken up in his Latios form to see he was in a field flowers bloom the clear sunny sky and the relaxing feel of the ocean wind.

“Carth!” Teila called out all joyfully.

“Teila what in the world is this place where are we?” Carth asked all nervous.

“Welcome Carth Teila!” A man then appeared from behind them in it was the guy in the black robes.

“I you figured it out that you are Latis but you are not ordinary ones you are a very special two Latis especially you Carth the power you have is the only hope to put an end to Valan and his followers dream.” the guy said with serious like tone.

“Special what do you mean by that?” Teila asked.

“You two must complete the prophesy Valan will do everything to make sure that it does not come true!”

“Prophesy what do you mean?” Carth asked.

“It’s coming Valan will be near his objective the world will be attacked with out warning you are our last defense my son and the other academy students will never have the power to defeat him when he has the weapon!”

“What do you mean and is your name possibly Tyran?” Carth asked.

“Yes” then everything went white.
Trade thread: http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=174003

D/P FC 4596-6614-8172
Age 31
Male
Santa Isabel, Mexico
Seen July 7th, 2018
Posted February 2nd, 2016
4,000 posts
18.9 Years
There is an almost absolute lack of narration here. You can't depend on mere dialogue to connote imagery, which is crucial; description and character portayal are missing too.

“Look at the size of this place I mean whoa what is this place anyway ?” To there astonishment a massive mansion they were in the ceiling was held up by large pillars but this room it was empty.
For god's sake, that was really confusing. First, "there" should be "their". There's important lack of punctuation on the first sentence. The second descriptive is ambiguous because you apparently miss words or rush details and characteristics of the place. If you don't deepen into this particular aspect the sentences remain open to a great range of interpretations of the screen, and it will not stay solid as a unique environment.

It's risky to let the character's descriptive depend on their dialogue and behavior(unless you're J.K. Rowling); you might want to stop and picture your characters, describing their looks as they make their appearances throughout the story.

Also, you're overusing certain words, like "asked". That might make the ironically isolated dialogues monotone already.

I'll wait for the next chapter, take your time to elaborate on the narrative AND descriptive especially, and don't forget to employ proper punctuation that might twist your sentences. There's no need to rush it, because this might be found closed later if it doesn't improve.
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