Lucario and Tyson

Started by Mako64 August 23rd, 2007 2:27 PM
  • 2961 views
  • 25 replies
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 1


One beautiful day, Lucario stood upon a high mountain, gazing across the land of Orre. On the ground below were Heracross and Pinsir playfully wrestling. Other Pokemon were mating, searching for berries, or just relaxing. The Pokemon in the water were swimming around, waiting for whatever would fall into the water that was edible. Lucario smiled to itself and took in a mouthful of fresh air. Everything was so peaceful.

However, this peace would not last long.

Ho-oh sped through the air, full aware that time was not on its side. One day ago, the legendary bird of the Rainbow was visited by a weakened Azumarill who brought a message from its friend Lugia. The Azmarill said that Lugia and the three birds, Zapdos, Articuno, and Moltres, were attacked by the three Regirock, Registeel, and Regice. Being caught off guard, Lugia and the birds were easily defeated. Lugia barely escaped, but the birds were captured. Lugia helplessly watched as the birds were dragged away. The sea guardian noticed something strange about the Regis. The Braille on their heads was no longer a plain color. The color was a swirling purple. Before losing itself in wonder, Lugia weakly flew away. It found an Azmarill and sent it to deliver the message.

“I must hurry”. Ho-oh said to itself. “Lugia could be dead right now”.

~~

“Tyson! You’re going to miss the bus!”

Lisa Kaman shouted to her son. One second later, Tyson Kaman was down the stairs kissing his mom goodbye, grabbing his backpack, and dashing out the door. The 12-year old did not want to be late today. It was the last day of school before summer vacation. His principal, Mr. Blake, still gave out after school detention for being late even on the last day. And the last thing Tyson wanted to do was to waste the rest of his half-time school day writing sentences on the chalkboard. “It’s bad enough that we get lots homework.” Tyson mumbled as he climbed on the bus.

Tyson sat down next to his best friend, Jake Morison. “I can’t believe that this day has finally come!” Tyson exclaimed. “Yeah, you’ve got that right, now we have time for what we’ve been saving up for!’ Jake said. “Yep, we can become Pokemon trainers!” Tyson said.


Many things had changed since the events of Pokemon Colosseum and Pokemon XD The population of Pokemon increased significantly. There were so many Pokemon that there was no more need for Shadow Pokemon.

Little did Tyson know, this journey would not be an ordinary Pokemon trainer journey. Soon something would change his life forever, and the fate of the world would be in his hands!


To Be Continued…
Age 28
Twinleaf Town
Seen June 6th, 2010
Posted January 24th, 2009
312 posts
16.2 Years
Okay, I am not the best, nor have I finished my fics but, here goes. The chapter was a bit short, try to lengthen it. Usually 3-4 pages in Micrsoft Word, but about 1-2 pages is plenty for a beginner. Now to other matters (I'm not the best, I will leave the rest to the experts):



Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 1


One beautiful day, Lucario stood upon a high mountain, gazing across the land of Orre. There were Starly, Spearow, and Noctowl soaring in the air. Below on the ground were Herracross and Pinsr playfully wrestling. Other Pokemon were mating, searching for berries, or just relaxing. The Pokemon in the water were swimming around, waiting for whatever would fall into the water that was edible. Lucario smiled to itself and took in a mouthful of fresh air. Everything was so peaceful.
I found too much stuff happening in one scene try to take time describing what is exactly going on, it helps the reader understand better. Heck, I am not the best advice giver, nor the best grammar/error eye spotter, but I don't think I spotted any grammar mistakes, I'll leave it to this fourms top grammar expert. Good so far, just keep the 'few' advice I gave you in mind. =)
FC: 2449 2088 5551

Joshua's PokePet

Swampert the level 90 Swampert!
Age 36
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted 2 Days Ago
Poke_Master, I would like to think that I am the expert you mentioned! xD

Let's start off with your title. It doesn't give off an air of mystery, because between it and the two characters introduced in the first chapter, I can deduce that they are connected somehow. But it works for your story.

Like Poke_Master said, your opening scene packed in too much description. Just try out saying that wild Pokemon were going about their business without a care in the world. You can keep the specifics of the bird Pokemon flying. (Nothing says danger in the wild distance like a flock of birds taking flight. :p)

You spelled a few Pokemon names wrong. When writing fanfiction, make sure that you spell canon names right. So, it should be "Heracross", "Azurill/Azumarill", and "Pinsir". If you're confused about how a Pokemon's name is spelled, there are many Pokedexes on the Internet you can use.

Your dialog needs some clearing up. I've written a good-ish guide about grammar that's linked in my signature. Check that out to learn more about correct grammar for dialog.

But there were other mistakes I spotted that could have been fixed with some good ol' proof-reading.

“Tyson!” “You’re going to miss the bus!”
Those bold quotation marks aren't needed.

It was the last day of School before summer vacation.
Doesn't need to be capitalized.

“It’s bad enough that we get lodes homework.”
"loads of"

Since the shipments of Pokemon to Orre caused large multiplication of the population. The age limit of handling Pokemon was raised from 10 to 12. Sense now there are more Pokemon in Orre, There can be more trainers to handle them.
In order: the first two sentences should be combined; "since"; and "there" shouldn't be capitalized.

-

Summary: Try to make the next chapter a little bit longer. Even just spacing out your paragraphs correctly with dialog will help with that. More description could help as well. Just take a stop by the Writing Guide and the PFF Rules.

That's it for now. Just keep writing and practicing!

Avatar credit: Fairy
Age 28
Twinleaf Town
Seen June 6th, 2010
Posted January 24th, 2009
312 posts
16.2 Years
Poke_Master, I would like to think that I am the expert you mentioned! xD
Yes, you were the one I was mentioning. XD
Just follow the advice Hanako gave you, remember, everyone makes mistakes once in a while, especially beginners. Just take a look at my first fic O_o. ;)
FC: 2449 2088 5551

Joshua's PokePet

Swampert the level 90 Swampert!
Seen September 18th, 2007
Posted September 12th, 2007
100 posts
15.7 Years
I like the actual plot. Its interesting and I like the start its all a happy feeling which then turns into some darkness. The Plot is pretty good. The things wrong have all been mentioned above but I just noticed one thing and not to be nitpicking either but I've noticed one sentence didnt make sense.

One day ago, the legendary bird of the Rainbow had received was visited by a weakened Azmarill
Im sure your quite capable of fixing things like this, that was the only time I found anything like that but keep in mind your fic should make sense at all times so remember to prevent this happening in later stages by checking over. Listening to everyones advice should help you grow. Not too shabby. XD- Googlebug.
I hvee a vrey ood sgianutrae. I am minkag tihs vrey hrad to raed. Oh wlel. I wlel udpteaa tihs ltaer. Ltaer is now. So I am udptaanig tihs now. If you can raed tihs tehn put it itno yuor sgianutrae or else. Olny fftiy fvie preecnt of poelpe can raed tihs. So if you can raed this do waht I say or lkie I say or esle.
http://z11.invisionfree.com/The_Three_Musketeers/index.php
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Hiya! It's me, I'm afriad to say this but, this chapter doesn't have any action in it. SORRY!!! But in chapter 3 there's gonna be much more, even a fight! I'm still working on it.

Enjoy Ch.2!


Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 2

“This is taking too long!” Ho-oh exclaimed as she was heading towards Lugia’s position.

“I wish that I could fly faste-”

At that moment, Ho-oh sensed another presence near Lugia.

“This, this power, could it be..?”

“Mew!?” Lugia cried as the pink creature floated down to it.

“Yes, I have returned.” Mew said.

It has been 7 years sense Mew went off to find Mewtwo and purify its soul. It was thought that Mew had no chance in calming the powerful creature. For Mew was out-matched in raw power.

“We all thought that you died fighting Mewtwo.” Lugia said.

“I was wounded and weakened after the battle.” Mew said in its soft voice.
“I went into exile on Starlight Island. There I nursed my wounds and lived there, waiting for the best time to return.”

“So if you immediately came back,” Lugia started, “Then there would immediately be more trouble after your return spread out.”

“Yes, but I am afraid that there is a new threat to our world.”

Mew placed its small hands on Lugia’s silver and blue body. It concentrated it’s energy for a moment, then with a slight push it used Recover on Lugia.

“Aah…” Lugia sighed as it picked itself up after feeling great relief. “Thank you Mew.”

Mew nodded as something flew into sight.

“Luiga!” Ho-oh landed next to Lugia. “Mew! You have returned!”

“Yes, but this is no time to rejoice, I’m afraid that there is evil afoot.”

Mew turned to Lugia.

“That reminds me, where is Articuno and the others?” It asked.

~~

Tyson yawned as his science teacher, Mr. Forman, was handing out the class’ summer science booklet. All day, Tyson would take off his sideways red and blue baseball cap and stroke through his spiky, brown hair and look out the window. It seemed to him that school had gone on forever. As he gazed without any thought in mind, something suddenly zoomed past the window; it had gone so fast, Tyson was unable to make out what that was.

“Whoa…” Tyson said to himself.

That was the first thing in school he found interesting.

“What was that thing?” He asked himself.


To Be Continued…
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Sorry about the lack of Proofreading I've been a little busy with other things. But I am serious about bringing you great Fan fic stories. Every day I Will have a new chapter for you all! However, if you come here and see no new chapter, you may have come to early come back later and I may have posted a new chapter! Oh yeah, Thank you all for your support!

Mako64
Age 28
Male
NY
Seen January 29th, 2014
Posted January 14th, 2014
1,290 posts
15.8 Years
Sorry about the lack of Proofreading I've been a little busy with other things. But I am serious about bringing you great Fan fic stories. Every day I Will have a new chapter for you all! However, if you come here and see no new chapter, you may have come to early come back later and I may have posted a new chapter! Oh yeah, Thank you all for your support!

Mako64

having a new chapter everyday is not the best idea. give a little time between chapters (at least 2 days). it gives new readers more time to read. nobody wants to be overloaded with chapters
Why, Yes
Chris Martin is my avatar.

Safari Type: Ghost
Shuppet, Dusclops, Phantump
PM for FC
Age 31
Male
Santa Isabel, Mexico
Seen July 7th, 2018
Posted February 2nd, 2016
4,000 posts
18.9 Years
The plot is rather boring and silly, sorry. Also, you didn't lengthen the chapter.

Ho-oh exclaimed as she was heading towards Lugia’s position.
She? I thought legendary Pokémon have no gender? >>

It has been 7 years sense Mew went off to find Mew-two and purify his soul.
Should be "since". Also, watch the verb tense, it's not right. Oh, and shouldn't it be "Mewtwo"?

“We all thought that you died claming Mew-two.”
Same about Mewtwo's name. Also, that should be "claiming", and I really don't know what you mean with that.

Mew said in her soft voice.
Again, a gender?

Okay, so your story is very short, has a weak plot, & many spelling mistakes. The only bright side is your good diction and descriptions, even if they're brief now. Get a beta reader. Take your time! Visit the guides Hanako gave you. She wrote a handy grammar guide, it should be useful.
虎穴に入らずんば虎子を得ず
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Hi, I'm back. I'm sure that the story's lack of action has made it boring. Well, I decided to put something interesting in this chapter.

Enjoy!!!!

Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 3

The strange thing that Tyson saw zoomed through the air. It was rather large and purple. It was the powerful Pokemon known as Mewtwo. It felt a disturbance in the tide. It was flying to the source, a strange, large, dark fog of darkness that was looming above the ocean that separated the land of Orre and the Orange Islands region.

As Mewtwo closed in on the fog, it said, “I am heading in the right direction; the power I feel is getting stronger.”

It zoomed into the fog. Suddenly it stopped in surprise. Inside the darkened fog was a large black palace. Before Mewtwo could do anything else, a strange dark voice greeted it.

“Hello Mewtwo, I am very pleased that you decided to come here.”

“What!? Who’s there?” Mewtwo shouted.

“Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!!!” The voice laughed.

Mewtwo just about had enough of this.

“Who are you, show yourself!” It demanded.

Suddenly, a strike of lightning struck the palace. Dark figure instantly appeared four feet away from Mewtwo.

“I am the Dark emperor, bow before me Mewtwo!” He commanded.
\
Mewtwo turned its head, spat downward, and looked at the Dark emperor.

“Ha! I’ll never bow before a fool like you!” It sneered.

The Dark emperor smiled to himself.

“If you do not bow to me, prepare yourself for a world of pain!”

Mewtwo charged at the Dark emperor.

“Die!” It shouted.

Mewtwo came at the emperor with a Mega punch. As the attack closed in, it was stopped by a dark energy shield.

“What!?” Mewtwo said when it couldn’t break through the shield.

It withdrew it attack and came back at the dark emperor with an Iron tail. This time, the emperor held up his arm and blocked the attack. Then he grabbed Mewtwo’s tail and threw it back with a large amount of force. Mewtwo quickly regained its balance and shot a full-power Psybeam at the emperor. Instead of blocking, the dark emperor just let the beam hit him. Mewtwo panted for breath.

“G-Got him…” It said.

“That should be enough for a warm up.”

Mewtwo swirled its head. It was the dark emperor. The Psybeam had no effect on him. He had teleported behind Mewtwo.

“You’ve shown me your powers, let me show you mine!” He said.

The emperor pointed at Mewtwo.

“Dark shot!” He shouted.

A large amount of dark energy blasted into Mewtwo. The attack sent it flying backwards. Mewtwo snapped forward to stop itself. It looked forward, the emperor was gone.

“Dark bullets!”

Mewtwo put up both arms to block. Several small beams blasted into it. Mewtwo’s guard could not protect it. It tried to endure the pain, but fell. Before falling through the fog, the dark emperor used telekinesis to hold it.

“I may have use for you.” The emperor said to Mewtwo’s unconscious body.

~~

The final bell rang. School was over. Kids burst out of the school doors, yelling and cheering. Tyson leaped down the stairs, shouting, “SCHOOOL’S OUT!”

The kids raced in the buses, chattering. When the bus came to Tyson’s house, he ran down the stairs of the bus got out his keys, ran to his room, and opened his dresser.

“I’ve been saving you for a while!” He said.

It was a trainer’s uniform: a blue; red-striped vest, black pants, a one strap red backpack, and silver strap-on shoes.

“Not bad, not bad at all.” Tyson said as he looked at himself in a mirror.

Tyson took a bus to Professor Mondo's lab. Mondo was the Pokemon authority in Orre. He was authorized to give Pokemon licenses and starter Pokemon those old enough. Tyson was very excited as he walked into the lab.

"I’m looking for professor Mondo, can you tell me where he is?"

Tyson asked a man with glasses and a white coat. Obviously he was one of Mondo’s aides.

“He’s in the room to the right.” The man said.

“Thanks.” Tyson said as he walked to the door to the right.

“Hello, I'm here for a Pokemon.” Tyson called as he opened the door.

The professor turned around. He had red eyes and blonde short hair. He wore a big white and black lab coat.

“Well, most of the Pokemon were taken today.” The professor said. “But we still have a few of them left."

He took out three Pokeballs and released a Pichu, Bulbasaur, and Cyndaquil. Tyson thought hard as he looked at the Pokemon.

“I’ll take… this one!” Tyson said as he pointed to his chosen Pokemon.

The little Pokemon cheered as Tyson scooped it up. He held it in his arms as Mondo took out five empty Pokeballs and a Pokedex for him.

“What’s this?” Tyson asked when he picked up the Pokedex.

“That’s a Pokedex.” The Professor explained. “It has data on every single Pokemon discovered.”

“How does it work?” Tyson asked.

“You just point it at a Pokemon and turn it on like this!”

The Pokedex flipped open and revealed data on Bulbasaur.

“Wow, technology in incredible!” Tyson exclaimed.

That night, when Lisa came home from work Tyson showed showed her his new Pokemon.

“Aren’t you the cutest thing?” She cooed to the Pokemon.

~~

Meanwhile, Mew, Lugia, and Ho-oh were flying towards the dark fog after feeling the battle of the dark emperor and Mewtwo.

“Hurry, the sooner we get there the better.” Mew said.

Lucario also felt the battle. It was riding a Staraptor to the fog. “This peace is in great danger.” It said to itself. Wind flew against its face as the fog came into view.




To Be Continued…
Age 40
Male
In the merry olde land of OZ!
Seen December 14th, 2015
Posted December 14th, 2015
1,655 posts
17.4 Years
It really needs work...Its not too easy to follow the story, most of the chapters are too short and some parts seem to be out of place. It also seems like its been rushed along as well.

Just my opinion.
Formerly known as Soulflame Ninetales, I, Riolu and I, Lucario
Temperary Avatar inserted


Resident Senile Old Fool


:7: Year Of The Eevee - 2008 :7:
Now that it is 2015 (Gawd!)....this is just here for rememberence sake
Age 40
Male
In the merry olde land of OZ!
Seen December 14th, 2015
Posted December 14th, 2015
1,655 posts
17.4 Years
Mako64,is this your first time actually writing up a story then posting on the net? Just curious.

Your edit was a little better, but still needs work. Again, only my opinion.
Formerly known as Soulflame Ninetales, I, Riolu and I, Lucario
Temperary Avatar inserted


Resident Senile Old Fool


:7: Year Of The Eevee - 2008 :7:
Now that it is 2015 (Gawd!)....this is just here for rememberence sake
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 4

Lucario was getting closer to the dark fog. It could see it almost clearly. The Staraptor it rode began to shake with fear.

Lucario noticed this and said, “You do not have to stay the whole way. You just need to drop me off here.

The large bird agreed. They were only a few yards away from the fog. They zoomed right into it. Lucario was shocked to see a palace floating among the fog. It jumped off the bird and watched it fly away. Then it slowly walked in. Every thing was black. Lucario found it difficult to see in the palace.

It walked around the palace for a while before it heard a strange voice.

“I can’t imagine a Pokemon like you would be so foolish to come here.”

“What?! Who’s there?” Lucario shouted into the darkness.

“I am the dark emperor.” The voice answered. “But that doesn’t really matter now. You are going to die now.”

Light suddenly shone into the room. Strange shadow creatures slid up from the floor. Lucario stepped back in surprise. The creatures started to surround it. “Destroy it!” The emperor commanded the shadows. The creatures started to slash at Lucario. It stepped back from the blows. Lucario closed its eyes and took a deep breath. Then it fought back.

Lucario raised its hands and concentrated a sphere of its energy.

“Aura sphere!” It said.

It shot it at the first creature that came at it. The creature exploded when the sphere made contact with it. Lucario leaped into the air. Its hands started to glow.

“Force Palm!” It said as it landed.

It struck a creature with its glowing hands. The force sent it flying and in landed a on another creature. They both exploded. Lucario fought the creatures with Aura sphere and Force Palm. Then the creatures combined together to form a larger monster. Lucario dodged and blocked most of the attacks, but got tired and was sent flying by a claw swipe. It wiped the blood from its mouth and stood up. The creature charged at it again. However, Lucario had one more trick up its sleeve.

“Metronome…” Lucario said.

Suddenly Lucario shot out a Water pulse at the creature. It blasted the creature to smithereens. Just as Lucario could rest, Lightning exploded in front of it, sending it flying backwards. It flew out of the palace. It fell thorough the fog and down towards the ocean.

~~

Tyson was on his way to be a Pokemon trainer. He had just caught a new Pokemon on the trail. Now he had to catch a boat to the Sinnoh region; where he could start his quest as a Pokemon trainer. When he reached the port, the ship had started to set sail.

“Wait!” Tyson shouted.

Unfortunately the people on the boat could not hear him. Tyson took a deep breath and took a flying leap. He landed with a thud on the wooden board floor.

“Whew…” Tyson sighed as flashed his ticket to a sailor. A tall man in a black suit came to Tyson.

“This way young man.” He said in a fancy way.

The man showed Tyson his room and gave him the keys to it. Tyson walked into his room, dropped his backpack, and laid down to take a nap.

~~

“Wake up, Wake up.” Mew said.

Lucario slowly sat up. It did a double take when it saw Mew.

“Mew? Is that you?” It asked. “Yes Lucario.” Mew answered.

“You shouldn’t have gone there.” Lucario turned his head. “Lugia, Ho-oh?”

Lucario leaped to its feet. “What are you all doing here?” It asked.

“Don’t think that only you had sensed trouble among the land.” Ho-oh said.

Lucario turned its head to the fog. The legendary Pokemon explained that they saw Lucario falling through the fog and Lugia caught it before it landed in the water.

“Mew, you stay with lucario, Ho-oh and I will head for the fog.” Lugia said.

Before Lucario could protest, Lugia and Ho-oh flew off; leaving a small trail of dust. Mew had a far away look on its face.

“What’s wrong?” Lucario asked.

“They can’t defeat the evil that is among the fog.” Mew answered. “Only the chosen one can.”

“The Chosen one?” Lucario asked.


~~

Tyson was awakened by a loud thump. He threw on clothes and ran to the deck. The ship was in the middle of a storm Tyson looked up he saw a large gathering of clouds, no, they were not clouds; it was fog, black fog.

“How can there be a storm and no clouds?” He said to himself.

“Hey kid, get back to your room! It’s dangerous out here!” A sailor shouted to Tyson. Tyson hurried down the steps to his room.

Tyson watched the storm through the porthole in his room. Wondering how this is possible.

~~

Lucario and Mew had waited for Ho-oh and Lugia’s return for two hours. They had not returned.

“They will not come back.” Lucario concluded.
“Yes.” Mew agreed. Mew closed its eyes. “Lucario…” Mew began.

“…?” Lucario turned to it.

“I need you to do something for me. It said.

To Be Continued…
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 5

“Alright, I’ll do anything to help.” Lucario said.

“A boy will be arriving in Sinnoh soon. I want you to find and stay with him in his travels.” Mew said.

“Who is this boy?” Lucario asked.

“The boy’s name is Tyson. Only he can save us all from this evil.” Mew answered.

“He is the chosen one?” Lucario asked.

“Yes. You will tell him his destiny, train with him and his Pokemon, and then bring him back to this spot.” Mew said.

“Alright, but what will you do Mew?” Lucario asked.

“I will teleport you to Sinnoh and gather the remaining legendary Pokemon. We will meet you two back here to assist in the battle.” Mew answered.

Lucario nodded in agreement.

~~

Tyson stepped off the boat, excited that his adventure as a trainer would finally get started.

“Help! Somebody help!” Someone shouted. It was a little boy. Two men in Red uniforms had surrounded him.

“Give it up kid!” One of them said. Tyson ran up to them.

“Hey, back off!” He shouted to them. The men turned to face Tyson.

“Stay out of this! It doesn’t concern you!” One of them said.
The two men each pulled out a Pokeball, trying to scare Tyson. Tyson pulled out two Pokeballs, showing them he was ready to fight. The men threw their Pokeballs, unleashing a small grey furry dog named Poohyena, and a little brown bird with one leg named Spearow.

“Go, Pichu and Starly!” Tyson threw his Pokeballs in the air. The balls opened; revealing a small yellow mouse with big ears, pink cheeks, and small tail; and a small brown, black, and white bird with an orange beak. The battle began.

“Poohyena, Bite! Spearow, Peck!”

“Pichu, Spark! Starly, Quick attack!”

Spearow and Starly came at each other. Before Spearow could touch Starly, Starly slammed into it, knocking it down. Poohyeana leaped into the air, jaw wide open. Pichu waited for Poohyena as it prepared Spark. As it fell, Poohyena positioned itself to bite Pichu. Just when Poohyena was so close that you could count its teeth, Pichu leaped back and launched Spark. The attack knocked Poohyena down right next to Spearow.

“Get up! Fury attack, Spearow! Poohyena, use Howl to get stronger, and then a good Bite!”

This gave Tyson an idea. “Starly, pick up Pichu and fly up!”

Pichu grabbed Starly’s feet and the bird took flight, just in time to evade Poohyena and Spearow’s attacks.

“Now Pichu, let go of Starly’s feet and drop a Thundershock.” “Pichu!” It said.

As Pichu fell, it launched a zap of electricity down on the two Pokemon below it. Spearow and Poohyena shrieked as they were electrocuted. When the attack ended, they both spun around in a circle before falling flat on their backs, unconscious. Pichu landed in front of them. Starly landed beside it. They smiled at each other; they had won.

The crowd cheered for Tyson, Pichu, and Starly. Tyson ran up to his Pokemon. “You two were awesome in that battle!” Tyson praised them. The two Pokemon leaped into their trainer’s arms. Proudly, Tyson returned them to their Pokeballs. Grumbling anger and disbelief, the two men withdrew their Pokemon. “You stunk back there Spearow. You didn’t do any better, Poohyena.” They turned around and ran away, only to be caught by the police.

Tyson turned to the boy who had a surprised look on his face.

“Wow, thanks for saving me; I’m Jarrett.” The boy said. “No problem, I’m Tyson. You seem really shocked.” Tyson said.
“Yeah, I mean, I can tell from your Pokemon that you’re a beginning trainer. Jarrett said.

“Yep, I’m coming from Orre.” Tyson replied.

“Well, that explains how you were so good in that match. Not too many beginners are that good.”

“Well I guess I have a lot of talent.” Tyson grinned. “Anyway,” Tyson continued. “What were those thugs after you for?”

“Well, I guess this.” Jarrett took out a strange violet crystal. “It’s a Dawn evolution stone.” He said. “I guess they saw it and wanted it.”

Tyson gazed at the stone. It was so beautiful.

Jarrett saw Tyson’s gaze and handed it to him.

“Here.” He said. “Huh? You want me to have it?” Tyson asked.

“Sure. I don’t need it and I owe you for saving my skin. Jarrett said.

The little boy turned around and walked away. Tyson put the stone in his backpack and went on his way.

Meanwhile: Lucario had seen the whole thing. Maybe that boy can save us after all. He thought. A small smile came to his face. He dashed to follow Tyson from a distance.

Tyson smiled to himself, leaped in the air and shouted, “I’m on a roll! Nothing going to stop me from being a Pokemon Master!”


To Be Continued…
Age 28
Male
NY
Seen January 29th, 2014
Posted January 14th, 2014
1,290 posts
15.8 Years
Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 5

“Alright, I’ll do anything to help.” Lucario said. “A boy will be arriving in Sinnoh soon. I want you to find and stay with him in his travels.” Mew said. “Who is this boy?” Lucario asked. “The boy’s name is Tyson. Only he can save us all from this evil.” Mew answered. “He is the chosen one?” Lucario asked. “Yes. You will tell him his destiny, train with him and his Pokemon, and then bring him back to this spot.” Mew said. “Alright, but what will you do Mew?” Lucario asked. “I will teleport you to Sinnoh and gather the remaining legendary Pokemon. We will meet you two back here to assist in the battle.” Mew answered. Lucario nodded in agreement.

~~

Tyson stepped off the boat, excited that his adventure as a trainer would finally get started. “Help! Somebody help!” Someone shouted. It was a little boy. Two men in Red uniforms had surrounded him. “Give it up kid!” One of them said. Tyson ran up to them. “Hey, back off!” He shouted to them. The men turned to face Tyson. “Stay out of this! It doesn’t concern you!” One of them said. The two men each pulled out a Pokeball, trying to scare Tyson. Tyson pulled out two Pokeballs, showing them he was ready to fight. The men threw their Pokeballs, unleashing a small grey furry dog named Poohyena, and a little brown bird with one leg named Spearow. “Go, Pichu and Starly!” Tyson threw his Pokeballs in the air. The balls opened; revealing a small yellow mouse with big ears, pink cheeks, and small tail; and a small brown, black, and white bird with an orange beak. The battle began.

“Poohyena, Bite! Spearow, Peck!” “Pichu, Spark! Starly, Quick attack!” Spearow and Starly came at each other. Before Spearow could touch Starly, Starly slammed into it, knocking it down. Poohyeana leaped into the air, jaw wide open. Pichu waited for Poohyena as it prepared Spark. As it fell, Poohyena positioned itself to bite Pichu. Just when Poohyena was so close that you could count its teeth, Pichu leaped back and launched Spark. The attack knocked Poohyena down right next to Spearow. “Get up! Fury attack, Spearow! Poohyena, use Howl to get stronger, and then a good Bite!” This gave Tyson an idea. “Starly, pick up Pichu and fly up!” Pichu grabbed Starly’s feet and the bird took flight, just in time to evade Poohyena and Spearow’s attacks. “Now Pichu, let go of Starly’s feet and drop a Thundershock.” “Pichu!” It said. As Pichu fell, it launched a zap of electricity down on the two Pokemon below it. Spearow and Poohyena shrieked as they were electrocuted. When the attack ended, they both spun around in a circle before falling flat on their backs, unconscious. Pichu landed in front of them. Starly landed beside it. They smiled at each other; they had won.

The crowd cheered for Tyson, Pichu, and Starly. Tyson ran up to his Pokemon. “You two were awesome in that battle!” Tyson praised them. The two Pokemon leaped into their trainer’s arms. Proudly, Tyson returned them to their Pokeballs. Grumbling anger and disbelief, the two men withdrew their Pokemon. “You stunk back there Spearow. You didn’t do any better, Poohyena.” They turned around and ran away, only to be caught by the police.

Tyson turned to the boy who had a surprised look on his face. “Wow, thanks for saving me; I’m Jarrett.” The boy said. “No problem, I’m Tyson. You seem really shocked.” Tyson said. “Yeah, I mean, I can tell from your Pokemon that you’re a beginning trainer. Jarrett said. “Yep, I’m coming from Orre.” Tyson replied. “Well, that explains how you were so good in that match. Not too many beginners are that good.” “Well I guess I have a lot of talent.” Tyson grinned. “Anyway,” Tyson continued. “What were those thugs after you for?” “Well, I guess this.” Jarrett took out a strange violet crystal. “It’s a Dawn evolution stone.” He said. “I guess they saw it and wanted it.” Tyson gazed at the stone. It was so beautiful. Jarrett saw Tyson’s gaze and handed it to him. “Here.” He said. “Huh? You want me to have it?” Tyson asked. “Sure. I don’t need it and I owe you for saving my skin. Jarrett said. The little boy turned around and walked away. Tyson put the stone in his backpack and went on his way.

Meanwhile: Lucario had seen the whole thing. Maybe that boy can save us after all. He thought. A small smile came to his face. He dashed to follow Tyson from a distance.

Tyson smiled to himself, leaped in the air and shouted, “I’m on a roll! Nothing going to stop me from being a Pokemon Master!”


To Be Continued…

(0_o) your still not doing it! when somebody talks it shouldn't be like this

[Tyson turned to the boy who had a surprised look on his face. “Wow, thanks for saving me; I’m Jarrett.” The boy said. “No problem, I’m Tyson. You seem really shocked.” Tyson said. “Yeah, I mean, I can tell from your Pokemon that you’re a beginning trainer. Jarrett said. “Yep, I’m coming from Orre.” Tyson replied. “Well, that explains how you were so good in that match. Not too many beginners are that good.” “Well I guess I have a lot of talent.” Tyson grinned. “Anyway,” Tyson continued. “What were those thugs after you for?” “Well, I guess this.” Jarrett took out a strange violet crystal. “It’s a Dawn evolution stone.” He said. “I guess they saw it and wanted it.” Tyson gazed at the stone. It was so beautiful. Jarrett saw Tyson’s gaze and handed it to him. “Here.” He said. “Huh? You want me to have it?” Tyson asked. “Sure. I don’t need it and I owe you for saving my skin. Jarrett said. The little boy turned around and walked away. Tyson put the stone in his backpack and went on his way.
but should be like this

Tyson turned to the boy who had a surprised look on his face.

“Wow, thanks for saving me; I’m Jarrett.” The boy said.

“No problem, I’m Tyson. You seem really shocked.” Tyson said.

“Yeah, I mean, I can tell from your Pokemon that you’re a beginning trainer. Jarrett said.

“Yep, I’m coming from Orre.” Tyson replied.

“Well, that explains how you were so good in that match. Not too many beginners are that good.”

“Well I guess I have a lot of talent.” Tyson grinned. “Anyway,” Tyson continued. “What were those thugs after you for?”

“Well, I guess this.” Jarrett took out a strange violet crystal. “It’s a Dawn evolution stone.” He said. “I guess they saw it and wanted it.” Tyson gazed at the stone. It was so beautiful. Jarrett saw Tyson’s gaze and handed it to him. “Here.” He said.

“Huh? You want me to have it?” Tyson asked.

“Sure. I don’t need it and I owe you for saving my skin. Jarrett said. The little boy turned around and walked away. Tyson put the stone in his backpack and went on his way.
it makes it easier to read
Why, Yes
Chris Martin is my avatar.

Safari Type: Ghost
Shuppet, Dusclops, Phantump
PM for FC
Age 27
Seen November 10th, 2012
Posted August 13th, 2008
83 posts
15.7 Years
Lucario and Tyson

Chapter 6

Tyson sat up in his bed and yawned. Last night he got a room in the town’s Pokemon center. Tyson grabbed his towel and headed for the showers. He let the water run down his face has he rubbed the wet rag against the soap. He lathered himself with soap and then rinsed it off. He stepped out of the tub and dried himself off; wondering where he should go. Tyson stopped by the laundry room to pick up his dry clothes. He when back to his room and got dressed. Tyson made sure that he had his all his things in his backpack before heading down for breakfast.

After he ate, he went to the counter for his Pokemon.

“Excuse me, may I have my Pokemon?” He asked the Chansey at the counter.

“Chansey!” The nurse Pokemon said as it went into the back room.

Tyson turned around, through the glass doorway; he saw a commotion near the town center. Tyson turned back to the counter. The Chansey came back with a tray that held Tyson’s two Pokeballs.

“Thanks!” Tyson said as he hooked the Pokeballs to his belt.

He walked outside towards the large crowd.

“I’m telling ya, their coming this way!”

“Oh, those poor Pokemon!”

Tyson squeezed past some people in the crowd.

“Excuse me, what’s going on?” Tyson asked a large man.

“Didn’t you hear son? Some people have been attacking small Pokemon that live in the fields up ahead, and now this fella says that those people are heading this way!”

The man pointed to the shaking boy who was shouting to the crowd.

“They’re gonna get all our Pokemon!” He exclaimed.

“Call the cops!” Someone shouted.

“Put up a wall!” Another suggested.

“Wait!” Tyson shouted. Everyone looked at him.

“Why don’t we just fight?” He asked.

Everyone murmured to each other, thinking about the idea.

“What if these guys are just weak bullies? We could beat them.” Tyson continued.

“Yeah.” Someone said. “We weren’t thinking clearly, we can avenge these Pokemon!”

Everybody chattered in agreement. Some of them ran off to get their Pokemon. Even the boy calmed down so he could prepare his Pokemon. Tyson smiled to himself, happy that everyone was going to battle.

He pulled out his Pokeballs and released Pichu and Starly. Tyson crouched down to talk to them.

“Pichu, Starly, are you two ready to fight?”

“Pichu!” “Starly!” They answered.

“Aright, let’s go!” Tyson said.

The three of them walked to the entrance of the town. They had not waited there long when they saw something wobble in the distance.

“Why, it’s a Torchic!” Tyson said.

The Torchic could barely walk; it collapsed two yards away from the trio. The three of them raced over to the fallen Pokemon. Tyson picked it up and started to carry it to the Pokemon center.

“Hold it kid!” Someone shouted.

Tyson turned around. Three men stood on the road; glaring at the Torchic.

“That Torchic picked a fight with us when we beat up its friends!” One said.

“It should have taken our advice and ran! Another claimed.

“We pounded it then it tried to escape!” The last shouted.

“We aren’t done it yet! So hand it over!” They all yelled.

Three of the town’s trainers joined Tyson. The three of them unleashed a Totodile, Swablu, and Meowth. The men smirked to themselves and unleashed Monferno, Muk, and Crawdaunt.

“Let’s go shrimps!” One man taunted.

“Meowth, Scratch! Totodile, Water gun! Swablu, Astonish!”

The three little Pokemon charged at the men’s Pokemon.

“Monferno, Fire punch! Muk, Sludge bomb! Crawdaunt, Crabhammer!”

The Pokemon engaged each other in combat. Meowth struck at Muk with its claws. The claws punctured through Muk’s gooey body. Muk’s body quickly closed on Meowth’s claws, trapping it. Meowth struggled to pull its paw out of Muk. Muk opened its mouth and launched Sludge bomb right in Meowth’s face, a critical hit. Meowth spun in the air and landed right in front of its trainer. Swablu zoomed at Monferno. It looked like the small bird was going to hit the fire monkey. Flames instantly surrounded Monferno’s fist. It took its fiery fist and slammed it against Swablu’s chin with an uppercut. Swablu tumbled to the ground with a heap. Crawdaunt leaped in the air. It raised its claw in the air, preparing its Crabhammer attack. Totodile launched its best Water gun at Crawdaunt. Crawdaunt brought down its glowing claw and it burst through the water. Crawdaunt bashed Totodile with its claw and knocked it backwards on its back. Totodile struggled to get up.

“You can do it, Totodile!” Its trainer yelled as Totodile got on its feet.

But Totodile had enough. It fell down again, unconscious.

The three trainers withdrew their Pokemon and ran back to the town, crying. All the other town people who planned to battle ran away. “Looks like it’s up to us.” Tyson said as he put down Torchic. The three of them turned to face the men.

“What makes you think you can beat us, kid?” One of them asked.

“Pichu, Thundershock! Starly, Wing attack!”

“Monferno, Flame wheel! Crawdaunt, Bubblebeam!”

Starly’s wings began to glow. It zipped towards Monferno. The monkey ignited itself with flames and charged at Starly. The two Pokemon collided head to head. Starly was sent flying by Monferno’s superior attack. It fell on the ground, knocked out. Pichu was about to launch a Thundershock at Monferno when it saw Crawdaunt’s Bubblebeam coming right at it. Pichu turned to it and executed Thundershock. The attacks canceled each other out.

“Pichu, watch out!” Tyson called to his Pokemon.

Pichu was blasted with a Flamethrower attack by Monferno. It collapsed in a heap, unconscious.

Tyson quickly withdrew Pichu and Starly.

“Shoot…” He said to himself.

“Like we said before, hand that Torchic over!” One of them said.

“Never!” He shouted.

Tyson ran over to Torchic and stood in front of it. Blocking the men’s way.

“So I guess we’ll have to teach you not to get in grown up’s way!” One said.

Muk, Monferno, and Crawdaunt started towards Tyson. Suddenly something leaped in front of them.It was Lucario. It had seen what had happened and decided to step into the battle.

“What are you?” One of the men asked.

“I don’t need to answer to a thug like you.” Lucario replied.

“What!?” The man yelled. “Why you insulting little… thing!”

“That’s no thing, that’s a Pokemon, and I’m gonna catch it!” Another man declared.

“T-torchic…?”

Tyson turned around. The Torchic was waking up. It leaped to its feet when it saw Tyson.

“Don’t worry,” Tyson told it. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to help.”

He turned back to Lucario and the men. The man stepped forward, with his Monferno at his side.

“Alright Monferno, let’s get this Pokemon!” He said.

“Monferno!” The monkey stepped forward to Lucario.

“Monferno, Flame wheel!”

Monferno ignited itself dashed at Lucario, prepared to knock it down. Lucario dashed to the side and prepared an Aura sphere attack. Monferno came at Lucario again with Flame wheel. Lucario shot an Aura sphere right at Monferno’s face. The fire-type Pokemon tumbled backwards and landed on its chest, knocked out.

“What!?” The man cried when Monferno lost.

“Looks like Monferno needs more training.” Lucario told him.

“Grr… I’ll catch you yet!” The man yelled. He pulled out a Pokeball and hurled it at Lucario with all his might.

“What?” Lucario muttered.

It did not know what would happen if the Pokeball touched it. Small red bullets flew out of nowhere and knocked the Pokeball away. All of them turned to where those things came from. Torchic. It decided to trust Tyson and Lucario. So it used Ember to prevent the capture.

“Why you…” The man said. “You ruined everything!” He yelled.

“Get it!” The two other men commanded their Pokemon.

Muk and Crawdaunt started towards Torchic.

“Metronome.” Lucario said.

And it shot a Hyper beam right towards The two Pokemon. The blast sent them soaring through the sky, out of sight.

“Muk!"

"Crawdaut!”

The two men ran to find their Pokemon with Monferno and its trainer hot on their heels.

“And don’t come back!” Tyson yelled to them.

“Torchic!” The little Pokemon happily cried.


To Be Continued…

BlastMaster Beta

You're blasting off again!

Age 32
Montreal
Seen September 25th, 2007
Posted September 22nd, 2007
14 posts
15.7 Years
Those are some mighty good chapters... short, but very interesting,
which is sorta what I like (leaving the reader with little information gives it more excitment^^).
I hope you keep it up, I really like the detail you put into it, and the storyline is very original and gives it more...
pazazz (is that how you spell it...? Never actually used that word before^^)!

"I wish my Caterpie knew Fire Blast!" - Necrod.
"It does." - BlastMaster Beta.
"It does? C-Caterpie? Caterpie!? NoOoOoO!" - Necrod.
"Yeah, right. I was just kidding." - BlastMaster Beta.
"Oh, yeah. Then what's this thing?" - Necrod
THE END

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