Pokemon Mystery Dungeon

Started by .Brendan August 27th, 2007 11:48 AM
  • 1102 views
  • 3 replies

.Brendan

Status: Eating a Pancake

Age 28
England
Seen May 29th, 2008
Posted September 19th, 2007
124 posts
15.7 Years
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Part one.

Once there was a boy named Brendan. He was a nice boy, 12 years old and had loads of friends.

Brendan had his birthday on September 25 2005, it was a pretty good one he had loads of cake, and he went to sleep.


He woke up on Grass.
'Aah that's eachy' said Brendan
'He’s awake' Said something that Brendan didn't want to believe
'You are a Pikachu' said Brendan
'Yeah and you are a Mudkip' Said Pikachu

Brendan went to a Lake and saw a reflection, First he was walking on 4 legs and he saw the face of a mudkip. Millions of thoughts flew through his mind, what about his parents.

'No way, i am not a mudkip' Said Brendan
'Yes you are, ill prove Pikachu' said
'How?' Said Brendan
'Blow from your heart' Said Pikachu

As soon as he did that he blasted Pikachu With a forceful blast of water.
'That was a water gun' Exclaimed Pikachu 'But that was so Powerful'
'I am a Pokemon' said Brendan

'Help' Screamed Someone

Who screamed and what reason did brendan go into the world of pokemon.
Stay tuned and all will be revealed
Fourms



Will be very inactive because of school

.Brendan

Status: Eating a Pancake

Age 28
England
Seen May 29th, 2008
Posted September 19th, 2007
124 posts
15.7 Years
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2

'Wow' Said Pikachu

Brendan turned round, he saw A magnificent sight in the lake.

'Queen milotic' What is wrong Exclaimed A turtwig Behind them

Brendan had not noticed that a lot of Pokemon Gathered

'We have a Problem, Charizard and his evil Drones have stolen my Daughter' Answered Milotic

We Need a Rescue team fast.

Suddenly Sceptile, Blaziken and Swampert Jumped in

'Team hoenn at your Service' Said Sceptile
'Thank you Team hoenn Go and Rescue Feebas Please' Said Milotic

They were off Towards a mountain far off.

Pikachu took Brendan to his Rescuue team base.

'You have a rescue team' Said Brendan
'Just me and Chimchar' Answered Pikachu
'Hello' said A chimchar
'hi im Brendan' said brendan
'Hey Chimchar can i talk to you in private please’ Said Pikachu
'Sure' said Chimchar

2 mins Later

'Mudkip, Pikachu told me everything and we have a Proposal for you' Said Chimchar
'We would like you to join our rescue team' Said Pikachu
'Yes' Exclaimed Pikachu
'Well get a Good night rest and get ready for Our next mission' said Pikachu
'Wait' said Brendan
'What' said chimchar
'What is the name of out rescue team' asked Brendan
'Its Team Legendz' said Pikachu
'Goodnight' Said Brendan
'Goodnight' said Chimchar and Pikachu

And Brendan Went into the Pool (water) and slept
Fourms



Will be very inactive because of school
Age 28
Male
NY
Seen January 29th, 2014
Posted January 14th, 2014
1,290 posts
15.8 Years
okay i didn't have to read the story and already i've found problems,

The first one is double posting. Don't instead of that just edit your posts.

The second thing is posting two chapters in one day. Thats a big no-no. Give readers a day or two to read. If nobody reviews, how do you know how much poeple like it? And nobody wants to read 5 chapters at a time.

and grammar is horrific. when somebody talks hit the enter key twice.

secondly is the plot. this has already been done by somebody else. if you want to make your own, the least you could have done was picked a different title. (0_o).

*sighs* this will probably get closed.
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